Romans 12:14-21

Romans 12:14–21 ESV

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Main idea: Five Christ-centered prayers for every relationship in my life.

Lord Jesus, will you help me forgive those who make life difficult? Will you help me speak well of them so your glory will be revealed?

Romans 12:14 ESV

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.

As a reminder, Paul wrote to Christians that were pursued and persecuted as softly as verbal abuse and as harshly as death. In fact, Jesus was crucified about 30 years before Romans was written. Paul had been an expert at persecuting Christians and assumed that every person hearing this letter had been persecuted in some fashion.

And he said to them, “Bless those who persecute you.” Bless the people who took your food, got you fired from your job, killed your father, arrested your brother, made you hide for your life ~ bless those people.

New Testament Christians didn’t need further instructions when they were told to be a blessing. They knew it was more than not treating their persecutor poorly.

In America, we are not as fortunate. We live in a world that needs definitions. If you sneeze, somebody might say, “bless you.” Historically, that phrase has good intentions. If you’re in the south, somebody might say, “bless your soul”, a phrase that also has good intentions. If you’re in the south and somebody says “Oh, bless you’re heart.” They are not blessing you. They are calling you a moron.

In order to bless a person that made life difficult for us, our emotions need to move on. Take a long stroll down Forgiveness Avenue. The Lord needs to cultivate forgiveness in our hearts, so we can say “bless you” with good intentions and move to the second part of the verse.

Bless and do not curse. The New Testament Christian knew if they could speak well of their persecutors, they had the blessing part down. We can live in disagreement with a person and still speak well of them. I believe the Lord calls us into a life that speaks well of people. We have to walk down Forgiveness Avenue to get there. Speaking well of a person who made life difficult does not appear in the form of a telemarketer or social media ad. When we allow Christ to transform our heart and renew our mind, we are able to forgive and speak well of those who have hurt us.

Imagine the gospel impact we would have if we prayed this daily and God answered with a yes.

Lord Jesus, will you teach me how to slow down so I can share emotions with one another? Will you teach me the value of sharing emotions?

Romans 12:15 ESV

15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

Did you know that if you have neck or shoulder pain, it is likely that you need to stretch your hamstrings? That is correct. If you have neck pain, the solution is found in your legs. If you treat your neck pain at the neck, you might have short-term relief but the problem will not be fixed. Our neck relies on other parts of the body to remain healthy and strong. The best way to stretch your hamstrings is a consistent slowness over a long period of time.

All of that is true with our relationships. Human beings are designed to rely on one another. If we are always giving emotionally, we will be out of alignment. If we are always taking emotionally, we will be out of alignment. Both can happen while maintaining a fast life until we crash. Many people rarely believe they will run into a tree. In order for a person to function at his/her best, we need circular relationships that mutually give and take emotionally and spiritually.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. If we primarily do this with the person in the mirror, we are out of alignment. Our spiritual worship depends on it. Our renewed mind and transformed heart depend on it. Every relationship in my life needs circular relationships that mutually give and take emotionally and spiritually. Men, you need this with other Christian men. Women, you need this with other Christian women. Slow-cook on Titus 2 for a while.

Lord Jesus, will you help me look beyond status or intelligence to define my relationships?

Romans 12:16 ESV

16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.

There are two thoughts in this one verse. Living in harmony with one another goes with never be wise in your own sight. It is impossible that every relationship will go deep. There are studies that show humans can only handle about 75 relationships in an entire week. Jesus went really deep with three; they slowed down and shared emotions with one another. Jesus spent a lot of time with 12; one of them fell off the wagon. Jesus was constantly surrounded by people. With the exception of Judas Iscariot, we never see different agendas being pursued. There was harmony, except Judas wise in his own sight. The gospels record that Jesus’ followers were mostly on the same page.

Living in harmony also warns us not to be an isolationist. For 25 years, people have given me a variety of reasons why they are not part of a Bible study. Consistently, the top two reasons have been: I can do a Bible study on my own and I don’t get fed the way I want. Lord Jesus, will you help me look beyond status or intelligence to define my relationships? Friends, be careful that you are not living in spiritual isolation and you are not wise in your own sight.

The second thought in the verse deals with our attitude. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Egos. Pride. Conceit. Self-centeredness. Arrogance. All of those things destroy biblical relationships. Every person that can hear my voice has status and intelligence. I am deeply interested in each of us being biblical with our status and intelligence.

Hear this warning ~ Do not be the low-hanging fruit Satan uses to destroy Christ-centered momentum in the body of Christ.

Lord Jesus, will you help me focus on the commonalities of every relationship?

Romans 12:17–18 ESV

17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Give thought to what is honorable…so far as it depends on you. You already know there are parts of a relationship that you don’t control. There are outcomes NOT defined by you and me. Some people don’t want to find commonalities. Some people think avoidance and peace are equal. If we are praying the Lord will help us focus on commonalities and doing our our part in the relationship, we should clearly see how the gospel is elevated in a particular relationship? The standard of all that is honorable is the gospel. If we are giving thought to what is honorable, the gospel should be elevated in our relationships.

Lord Jesus, will you teach me to pour good into strained relationships?

Romans 12:19–21 ESV

19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Underline your enemy. In the context of Romans 12, our enemy is a person we know and we think deserves revenge.

Look at verse 19. Never avenge yourselves requires nothing. For some, that is the first step in pouring good into a strained relationship. Believers should know when to stop talking. Believers should have enough humility, so that we don’t have to be right all the time. Believers should be able to hit the brakes when our motives are not Christ-centered. We must surrender those things to the Lord’s cultivation of our heart.

Look at verses 20-21. Overcome evil with good requires action that points to Jesus. I think there are two helpful actions.

First, do not allow the evil done to you live rent-free in your head.

Second, do not allow space for our own evil responses to blossom.

As we pray, the Lord will teach us to pour good into strained relationships and the evil done to us or the evil we would like to do will frequent our mind less often. A cultivated heart does not dwell on evil.

As we ask the Lord to cultivate our hearts with these five Christ-centered prayers, we ought to expect the Lord to realign our hearts for his glory. As we go through the holiday season, it is possible you will need at least one of these prayers to help the gospel be elevated in your life.

Present the path to salvation concisely and clearly!!! Today can be your day to know Jesus personally.