Nam wedding

A big commitment

I remember when we were just becoming serious my girlfriend asked me what I would think if she got a tattoo.

I’m a fairly boring serious person, so my first thought was - ‘that’s pretty permanent - a tattoo’s a big deal’

(I’m not even sure i expressed this out loud

Tattoo’s are a big deal -

/ the tattoo never happened, but we did get married… which is a big deal too - bigger in fact

Here we are - finally - Nam and Elliana - about to get married.

We’re so pleased for both of you -

It’s a big deal - a big commitment. Serious high level promises - very permanent.

I don’t think in human relationships there’s quite another voluntary but binding relationship like this one.

Consider the promises - for better, for worse - till death. With all that I am and all that I have. Lifelong faithfulness.

Look at the promises and vows

You need to know that Nam and Elliana chose these Bible readings - so they know what they’re in for.

From Corinthians: Love is patient - love is kind - not easily angered - no record of wrongs.

From Colossians: Bear with one another, forgive one another

From Jesus: blessed are the merciful, the peacemakers

Love - in all relationships - is not simply a feeling (though it definitely has feelings within it) -

It is an active decision

It is a doing word - a verb -

In keeping this serious set of promises, Nam and Elliana - you will need to keep in step with each other, keep knowing each other as life changes around you and for you.

Kindness and compassion - being considerate, are best when you actually consider the other - think about them - the more you work at knowing each other and keeping in step, the more you’ll be equipped to be kind and compassionate.

[But what about when it is hard?]

The Love game

If I have your permission to intrude on the happiness of today a little let me ask:

But what about when your marriage gets to the ’for worse’ moment?

You may not think this possible on today of all days - but bear with me:

I want you to play the love game with me - all of you - when I read a part of the first Bible passage again.

But this time when you hear the word ‘love’ I want you to substitute your own name there. Stop doing it when your partner elbows you in the ribs - or when your conscience gets the better of you.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8 (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, love does not boast, love is not proud. Love does not dishonor others, love is not self-seeking, love is not easily angered, love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but love rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, love always trusts, love always hopes, love always perseveres. Love never fails. [..]

How did you go?

I have to say, I don’t have my wife here to elbow me in the ribs - but I don’t think i would make it past the first one.

The more you reflect on this poem about love - the more you realise it is beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

We all fail the love game.

There will be a ‘for worse’ moment.

What then?

Nam and Elliana - you know somebody who passes - the only human who passes this test. You can put Jesus’ name in here and it actually works. Jesus never fails.

Jesus never fails

Nam and Elliana have a super power - literally -

Only Jesus has passed that test -

It is actually in each of the Bible readings we’ve had today:

Colossians 3:12–13 NIV

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

As God’s people - dearly loved.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Nam and Elliana - you know there is forgiveness and safety in Jesus.

Jesus has taken the initiative. Jesus has given himself first for you.

In fact, the Bible speaks of Jesus’ commitment and relationship to his people as a marriage:

“Marriage is the symbol of God's unending love for his people”

- no pressure, guys -

seriously - no pressure - human marriage learns from Jesus’ commitment -

Let Jesus’ commitment to you be your safety and hope and example.

It is in Jesus that both Nam and Elliana you will find forgiveness, support, God’s supply of patience -

it is in that safety that you will also be able to say sorry, to bear with one another :: and only then, to learn what commitment and sacrifice look like so you can imitate Jesus.

When ‘for worse’ happens - you can turn to Jesus.

That song we have just sung kept reminding us that we are forgiven by the blood of Christ.

We’re going to sing another song later on picking up from the Love passage - but especially pointing to Jesus - Jesus, the way the truth and the life, is the love we need.

Marriage is commitment and self-sacrifice.

In Jesus we see both - for our good, for our safety.

In Jesus we learn how to do both.

In closing, I only have two words of advice for you:

Keep turning to Jesus || Keep turning to each other

Keep turning to Jesus

you need him - his unending willingness to forgive you, to never leave you, to bear with you

and to learn from him - he takes the initiative (don’t wait for one another - take the initiative to connect in love

keep turning to each other

little things every day, against the flow of selfishness,

i give myself - before i take [in the vows, you might notice each person has to give, before they take - let that be the model of your marriage -

In this way, may God enable you to grow in love together.