Speaking the Truth in Love

Head Change: To know that our kindness, not our anger, will draw people to Jesus.

Heart Change: To celebrate that we have the Holy Spirit who empowers us to share truth with gentleness and respect.

Life Change: To refuse to water down the truth of God’s Word and to resolve to communicate it in love.

When was the last time you won an argument? How did it make you feel? Why was it especially important to you to win that argument? What did it do for your relationship with the person you were arguing with?

What does Paul imply when he talks about some who are ‘peddlers of God’s Word’?

Whose job is it to preach the gospel?

How does Berni describe what it means to love unbelievers?

Berni points out that we’ve likely all used the expression, speaking the truth in love. Do you agree that speaking the truth in love is easier in theory than in practice?

Berni reassures us that he hasn’t ‘gone soft on the truth’. What does he mean by this? Why might people think this of him, and of us, when we talk about communicating the truth in love?

2 Corinthians 2:17 (ESV)

17 For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ.

What are the connotations of the word peddler? Does peddling God’s Word happen in churches today?

2 Timothy 1:13–14 ESV

13 Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 14 By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.

Discuss the value of having the Bible as a benchmark against which we can measure every idea, opinion, or experience. What role does the Holy Spirit play in our lives when it comes to understanding, applying, and proclaiming the truth?

James 1:19–20 ESV

19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Ephesians 4:14–16 ESV

14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. 15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Discuss the context of Paul’s instruction to ‘speak the truth in love’, given what he writes about in verses 14 and 16.

Ephesians 4:31 ESV

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

If you follow Christian leaders or artists on social media, have you ever seen them display bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, or slander? Which Christian influencer stands out to you as someone who speaks the truth in love?

2 Timothy 2:24–26 ESV

24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

How does Paul instruct Timothy to interact with opponents to his faith?

DEEPER WALK

Select at least one activity below to complete before watching the next session. Read: 1 Peter 3:15 says, ‘Always be prepared to make a defence to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.’ The Message paraphrases this verse, ‘Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you’re living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy.’ Prayerfully and practically consider what this will look like in your life this week. Write: If you’ve spoken the truth in anger or antagonism instead of in love, write a letter to the person you spoke to, asking for their forgiveness. You needn’t apologize for your biblical views but do all you can to convey to them the warmth, gentleness, and kindness of Jesus. Pray: Form a WhatsApp group with two or three friends, to pray for each other and to hold each other accountable to speaking the truth in love.