I've Lost The Joy of Christmas: Family

The Importance of Family

Family has been described as “the glue which holds the fabric of society together.” From the very beginning, family has been central to God’s plan.

Genesis 2:18 NIV

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

In Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good that man should be alone,” leading to the creation of the first marriage and family.

Family was designed to be the primary social unit through which God’s purposes are carried across generations.

When family functions well, we experience support, love, and strength, enabling us to serve God more fully. But when it struggles, our journey becomes much harder.

Scripture calls us to honor and nurture family bonds: husbands are to love their wives, children to obey their parents, and parents to raise their children with wisdom (Colossians 3:18-21).

Even Abraham’s family, though imperfect, became the lineage through which Jesus was born—a reminder that God works through flawed families to fulfill His perfect plan.

Family at Christmas: Joy and Challenges

Christmas often brings families together, and with that comes both joy and struggle. For some, it is a season of warmth and laughter, filled with shared meals, traditions, and love. For others, it is a painful reminder of loss, fractured relationships, or unmet expectations. The reality of Christmas can feel far removed from the peace we sing about in carols.

Proverbs 15:17 NIV

17 Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred.

Proverbs 15:17 says, “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it.” Sometimes, a simple Christmas focused on love, grace, and presence is far more meaningful than the most elaborate celebration.

Even in Jesus’s family tree, we see flawed people—sinners and strugglers—and yet God chose to bring salvation through them.

This should encourage us when our family situations feel broken or imperfect. Jesus understands our struggles, and He offers us His grace and strength to navigate family dynamics.

The Ache of Estranged Relationships

For some, the most painful reality at Christmas is estrangement from adult children or other family members. The silence or absence can feel like a deep wound, intensified by the togetherness of the season.

Parents often ask themselves, “What went wrong?” or “How do I repair what’s broken?” It’s important to acknowledge this grief while remembering God’s faithfulness and love.

Psalm 34:18 CSB

18 The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

If you are estranged from a loved one, know that God sees your pain, and His compassion is with you.

While reconciliation may not happen overnight, prayer and small gestures of grace can be powerful steps toward healing.

Remember the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. The father, though deeply hurt, never stopped loving or hoping for his child’s return. In the same way, God calls us to remain open to reconciliation, to pray fervently, and to extend forgiveness—even if it is from a distance for now.

And remember boundaries. Which is the number one reason I hear from people who have separated themselves from parents. I often wonder if cellphones and Social media has broken something where boundaries are concerned. Especially when children are in the process of becoming adults.

How to Find Joy and Peace This Christmas

Amid the complexities of family life, how can we find and maintain joy this season? Here are some biblical principles to guide us:

Practice Forgiveness and Grace Colossians 3:13-14 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another… Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Even when it is difficult, let forgiveness be your guide. Extend grace where there is hurt, knowing that Christ’s grace toward us is unending.

Set Realistic Expectations Not every gathering will be perfect, and that’s okay. Jesus’s birth in a stable reminds us that the most meaningful moments often come in imperfect settings. Focus on love, not perfection.

Acknowledge Loss and Loneliness If you are grieving a loved one or experiencing separation, allow yourself to feel that pain. Psalm 34:18 assures us that God is near the brokenhearted. Light a candle, share stories, or honor loved ones in a way that brings peace.

Adapt and Create New Traditions Family changes over time—children grow up, marriages begin, and traditions shift. Rather than resisting change, look for new ways to celebrate that honor your family’s unique story. Love and peace matter more than keeping traditions exactly the same.

Center on Christ When Martha was distracted with preparations, Jesus reminded her that only one thing is necessary: to sit at His feet (Luke 10:38-42). Take time this Christmas to pause, reflect, and focus on the birth of Jesus. He is the true source of joy, peace, and hope.

Christ’s Comfort in Our Imperfect Families

Whether you find joy in family this season or wrestle with brokenness, remember this: Jesus came to bring light to our darkness, joy to our sorrow, and peace to our weariness. He entered our broken world to heal what is broken and to restore what seems lost.

For parents with strained or broken relationships with adult children, trust that God is still at work. Your prayers are heard, and His love never fails. For those grieving loss, know that Jesus sees your tears and offers His comfort. And for families celebrating joyfully, remember to extend grace and gratitude for the gift of togetherness.

Next Steps

Let us commit this Christmas to embrace the presence of Christ in our families—however they look this season. Let us love, forgive, and honor one another, reflecting the grace that Jesus so freely gives. Even in imperfect moments, God’s love can transform our homes and our hearts.

Prayer

Lord, thank You for the gift of family and for the precious gift of Jesus. Help us to love, forgive, and appreciate those around us. Comfort those who are grieving or estranged from loved ones, and bring Your peace to their hearts. May we remember that Christmas is about You, the light of the world. Fill our homes and hearts with Your love this season. Amen.

Bibliography

© 2017 Bill Farrel. Originally published on FocusOnTheFamily.com. https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/coping-with-family-tension-at-christmas/

https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-family.html

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/common-family-holiday-arguments_l_5de830c9e4b00149f73aefca

Questions for Further Discussion

What does Genesis 2:18 say about God's view of solitude?

How was God’s intention for family established in Genesis 2:24?

In what ways does the sermon illustrate that family is central to God's plan?

How can we understand God's love for families through the lineage of Jesus?

What are some practical ways to practice forgiveness in our families during the Christmas season?

What can you do to positively focus on your family relationships this Christmas?

How can creating new traditions help maintain peace in a family?

What does it mean to center our focus on Christ during family gatherings?

What message do Proverbs 15:17 and 17:22 convey about family gatherings?

How does understanding Jesus' empathy relate to our experiences of loss during the holidays?

YouTube Discription

Title: I've Lost the Joy of Christmas: Family

Description: In this heartfelt message, Pastor Ryan dives into the joys, challenges, and sometimes painful realities of family during Christmas. Reflecting on the importance of family in God’s plan, he explores how family dynamics can both enrich and complicate our holiday season. For those grieving lost loved ones, handling family tensions, or adapting to new traditions, Pastor Ryan offers practical, faith-centered tips for finding peace. Let this message help you rediscover the joy of Christmas through Christ’s love and presence.

#ChristmasSermon #FaithAndFamily #JoyOfChristmas

Notes Page

**Sermon Notes: *I've Lost the Joy of Christmas: Family***

---

**Key Scripture References**

- Genesis 2:18, 2:24 – God’s intention for family

- Colossians 3:13-14 – Practicing forgiveness and love

- John 14:27 – Christ’s peace in times of struggle

- Proverbs 15:17; 17:22 – Value of peace and joy in family relationships

- Luke 10:38-42 – Choosing time with Christ over busyness

---

**Questions for Further Discussion**

1. What does Genesis 2:18 say about God's view of solitude?

2. How was God’s intention for family established in Genesis 2:24?

3. In what ways does the sermon illustrate that family is central to God's plan?

4. How can we understand God's love for families through the lineage of Jesus?

5. What are some practical ways to practice forgiveness in our families during the Christmas season?

6. What can you do to positively focus on your family relationships this Christmas?

7. How can creating new traditions help maintain peace in a family?

8. What does it mean to center our focus on Christ during family gatherings?

9. What message do Proverbs 15:17 and 17:22 convey about family gatherings?

10. How does understanding Jesus' empathy relate to our experiences of loss during the holidays?

---

**Bibliography**

- Farrel, Bill. *Coping With Family Tension at Christmas.* © 2017. Originally published on FocusOnTheFamily.com. Available at: [Focus on the Family](https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/coping-with-family-tension-at-christmas/)

- *What does the Bible say about family?* Available at: [Got Questions](https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-family.html)

- *Common Family Holiday Arguments.* Available at: [HuffPost](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/common-family-holiday-arguments_l_5de830c9e4b00149f73aefca)