Sermon: In the Same Way - 1 Peter 3:1-7

Preamble

Tell my story of discovering the extra vacation time and putting someone from my team in charge of meetings and small matters in my absence.

Thought Exercise

Imagine that on November 1st the Speaker of the House addressed our nation and said the following: We the Congress of the United States with the support of the Supreme Court have amended the Constitution in order to address the issues associated with extreme partisanship that have been plaguing our great nation. Beginning with this election the United States shall be governed by two Presidents who each have equal power and authority. Candidates will be elected from the two political parties who receive the most electoral votes.

A few days later, this announcement is followed by the news that Donald Trump and Kamala Harris will be the nation’s first joint Presidents.

What are your thoughts on the likely outcome?

Passage 1 Peter 3:1-7

1 Peter 3:1–7 NIV

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Egalitarian/Complementarian

So this is one of those hotly contested passages and is often referred to as the Egalitarian/Complementarian debate.

The term “egalitarian” comes from the French word “egalitaire” which essentially means equal. It was first used in the period of the French revolution to differentiate between different political ideologies.

The term complementarian is more recent and was first used in the 1980’s by theologians for this very debate to denote the complementary nature of the husband/wife relationship. It comes from the root word compliment which stems from the latin word complere which means to complete or fill up.

Egalitarians believe that men and women are equal in all respects, including their roles in the church and family. They argue that any hierarchical roles were a result of the Fall and have been redeemed through Christ. Key biblical passages often cited include:

Genesis 1:26-28: Both men and women are created in God’s image and given dominion over the earth.

Galatians 3:28: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus,” which is interpreted to mean that gender distinctions are irrelevant in Christ.

Ephesians 5:21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” suggesting mutual submission rather than a hierarchical structure.

Complementarians, on the other hand, believe that men and women are equal in value but have distinct roles. They argue that these roles are part of God’s design and are beneficial for both individuals and the community. Key passages include:

Genesis 2:18: Woman is created as a “helper” suitable for man, which complementarians interpret as indicating different roles.

Ephesians 5:22-33: Wives are instructed to submit to their husbands, and husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loves the church, indicating a complementary relationship.

1 Timothy 2:12: Paul’s instruction that women should not teach or have authority over men in the church

Exercise - Egalitarian/Complementarian spectrum

[Pass out 3x5 cards]

I want you to take a moment and draw a spectrum with Egalitarian on the left and and Complementarian on the right. Put zero in the middle and 1-5

In the Same Way

I want to go back and look at the curious text “in the same way” that appears in Peter’s instruction to wives in verse 1 and again to husbands in verse 7 because I think this phrase is critical to the hermeneutic of this passage.

Question: What do you think Peter is referring to when he says, “in the same way”?

In 1 Peter 3:1, the phrase “in the same way” refers back to the instructions given in the preceding passages, specifically in 1 Peter 2:13-25. Here, Peter addresses various groups of people, urging them to submit to authority and endure suffering with patience, following the example of Christ.

Application to Wives

When Peter says, “Wives, in the same way,” he is encouraging wives to adopt a similar attitude of submission and respect within their marital relationships. This submission is not about inferiority but about following Christ’s example of humility and trust in God’s plan. It is an encouragement to live out their faith in a way that honors God and can positively influence their husbands, especially those who may not believe (1 Peter 3:1-2).

Submission to Authorities: Peter instructs believers to submit to every human authority for the Lord’s sake, whether to the emperor or governors (1 Peter 2:13-17).

Servants and Masters: He then addresses servants, urging them to submit to their masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust (1 Peter 2:18-20).

Example of Christ: Peter highlights Christ’s example of suffering unjustly and entrusting Himself to God, who judges justly (1 Peter 2:21-25).

Key Points for Wives

Submission: Reflects a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, and assuming responsibility.

Christ’s Example: Emphasizes humility, patience, and trust in God’s justice.

Witness: Aims to influence others positively through godly behavior.

Understanding this context helps clarify that Peter’s call for submission is rooted in a broader principle of living out one’s faith in a way that reflects Christ’s example and brings glory to God.

Application to Husbands

When Peter says “in the same way” to husbands, he is calling them to exhibit the same attitude of respect, understanding, and honor towards their wives. This involves:

Living with Understanding: Husbands are to live with their wives in an understanding way, recognizing their needs and treating them with consideration.

Showing Honor: Husbands are to honor their wives as co-heirs of the grace of life, acknowledging their equal value and dignity in God’s eyes.

Mutual Respect: This mutual respect and honor are essential for maintaining a healthy and godly relationship, ensuring that their prayers are not hindered (1 Peter 3:7).

Key Points for Husbands

Mutual Submission: Reflects a broader principle of mutual respect and submission within the Christian community.

Christ’s Example: Emphasizes following Christ’s example of humility and selflessness.

Equality in Value: Affirms the equal value and dignity of both husbands and wives in God’s sight.

Understanding this context helps clarify that Peter’s instructions to husbands are part of a larger call to live out their faith through respectful and loving relationships, following Christ’s example.

Audience and Context

Remember that this passage was written for a primarily Gentile audience which probably included some Jews that had been largely influenced by pagan cultures (1 Peter 1:1 To God’s elect, exiles scattered throughout the provinces of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia).

It was written between 62-65 AD and Peter was almost certainly familiar with and influenced by Paul’s letters as 1 Peter tackles many similar themes and uses similar language.

It is also still under the “Living Godly Lives in a Pagan Society” section heading from chapter 2.

With that in mind, consider the specific instructions Peter gives to wives:

The New International Version Chapter 3

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Here Peter points out the powerful influence that a woman has in a man’s life. It echos the thoughts about the husband/wife relationship that Paul expressed in Ephesians 5:21-33 and Colossians 3:18-19. As well as the thoughts Paul expressed about wives winning their husbands over to the faith in 1 Corinthians 7:16:

1 Corinthians 7:16 NIV

How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

[Tell the story of Jose and Joan Troncoso]

Peter then goes on a rather lengthy rant about external versus internal beauty:

The New International Version Chapter 3

3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.

There is nothing wrong with physical beauty. In fact Peter doesn’t prohibit adornment, rather he is going after the deeper heart motives which could range from the seemingly innocuous attraction of a mate to the more reprehensible motivations to manipulate husbands (or other men) by appealing to their base sexual desires.

In a society that treated women as secondary citizens, physical beauty could be used as a tool to give women some measure of control or power but Peter is appealing to women who follow Christ to live from virtuous and pure lives, informing them that by doing so they will actually be far more powerful with respect to God’s kingdom.

He goes on to say:

The New International Version Chapter 3

They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Here Peter specifically refers to Sarah who submitted to Abraham who notoriously got it wrong on multiple occasions. What do you think Peter meant in that last verse? What fear is he referring to?

[Invite responses]

Peter concludes with his instructions to husbands:

The New International Version Chapter 3

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

The word “considerate” comes from the Greek words (kata gnōsin) which translates to “with understanding”. We often think of it as meaning “thoughtful” but it in this context what Peters is saying is that we should consider our wives, their strengths and weaknesses, societal positions, the God-given role in marriage and relate to them with respect on that basis.

He acknowledges that they are the “weaker partner” a phrase that is anathema in our present cultural context where the average female movie heroin with trash a room full of muscle bound men as if they were soggy paper mache dummies.

But, he then goes on to acknowledge their equality as heirs of grace in God’s kingdom. No doubt a nod to Paul’s exhortation in Galatians 3:28:

Galatians 3:28 NIV

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Peter then concludes with a warning that failing to treat our wives with consideration and respect will hinder our very prayers which are a direct reflection of our relationship with God.

Renovation Community Share

So, I’ve saved the best for last. I’d like to spend some time listening to each of you share about what this mutual submission looks like in your marriages. I’ll start...

[Share about the fist message I ever taught at Vineyard which I shared with Pastor Trevor where we shared the Ephesians 5 passage on this same subject. Share about how I saw my authority and what Trevor shared about the decision being made by the one who was most affected. Make the point that we men can always willingly defer to our wives based on their gifting or their responsibilities. Make reference to the Trump/Harris presidency. Make reference to appointing someone to be in charge in my absence and how that actually liberates the team.]

Supporting Passages

Ephesians 5:21–33 NIV

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Colossians 3:18–19 NIV

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.