Relate in Love

Our theme for 2024 is “Possessing the Land.”

We began the year by saying that we want to take hold of purpose and be intentional

We are combining the four R’s with the themes of advent.

We respond with hope.

We are restored to joy.

We release His peace.

And we relate in love.

This is an active “taking hold of” advent.

We talked about how the story of the Bible is Creation - Fall - Redemption.

And this story - especially the redemption part - is the basis of hope.

Regarding joy and hope we said that joy comes first and increases our hope.

True joy - or ‘sturdy joy’ is rooted in our relationship with God.

And peace is more than just a feeling.

Peace is when things are the way they were meant to be.

And redemption and the promise of peace were fulfilled in Jesus.

Romans 15:13 ESV

13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

We have been using this theme verse through advent this year.

It mentions hope, joy and peace but there is no mention of love.

I think love could easily be inferred as love is associated with peace and joy as the first-mentioned fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22 ESV

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Love is also connected with hope in the psalms.

Psalm 33:20–22 NLT

20 We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. 21 In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. 22 Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.

Yes, hope, joy, peace and love definitely belong together.

And in many ways, love is the culmination of the other three.

In yesterday’s devotion from”Everyday Gospel” by Paul David Tripp, he says,” If you pay attention as you read your Bible, you will see that the generosity of the King of Kings is without end. one particular verse captures God’s generosity and its final culmination.

John 3:16 ESV

16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

God so loved the world.

Generously.

Completely.

Finally.

Whatever we call love has along way to go to measure up to that.

But God’s love is the standard by which we even know what love is.

And God’s love is what we are working toward.

We are on a journey of love - a journey toward love and in love.

We are practicing love, purifying love and persevering in love.

Practicing Love

1 John 4:7 ESV

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

God is love. But what does that even mean?

Exactly!

We should all be asking that question.

And the idea that God is love should be causing us to search our minds and our hearts for what we may know about God that is entirely unique.

Historically, the greatest act of love was demonstrated through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. He endured pain and suffering not for His own benefit but out of love for humanity. This selfless act serves as the ultimate example of love—a willingness to put others before oneself, encapsulating God's love for every person, which invites us to respond in love and compassion as well.

That is God’s endless generosity culminating in the ultimate act of love.

God so loved the world...

And that is where we begin to understand love.

Love is other awareness.

1 John 4:8–10 ESV

8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

God, the greatest being in the universe cares about us.

Does that seem amazing to you?

If a person has a “God” complex, it means they think and act like everything revolves around them - including other people.

But the real God, doesn’t have a “god” complex - He actually cares!

Perfectly, unconditionally and persistently...

God's love is often described as a perfect, unconditional love, much like the love of a parent for their child. Think of a mother who supports her child through failures and successes alike. This love mirrors God's, who continues to reach out to us despite our flaws. Just as a parent's love is often tested but remains steadfast, so too is God's love for us, reflecting the true essence of unconditional affection.

Healthy parental love is a reflection of God, because He created us in His image to love and to be loved.

When a child comes into the world, the first thing they learn is how to receive love.

They literally can’t do anything for themselves.

And God created us with this natural instinct to want to do everything for them.

And their job is to receive it -and to learn to trust that all of their needs will be met.

As time goes on we teach them how to take care of themselves, all the while, we are still there doing whatever they need us to do while they are learning to do for themselves.

We even let them believe that is is them doing it all, just to boost their confidence - but the parents are still doing more for the child than the child realizes.

Do you think God teaches us like that?

You do what you can do - but really, It’s Him doing it - or most of it.

Then somewhere along the way we become aware of other people.

Psychologist who study these things note that it begins with self-awareness.

We first gain an independent view of ourselves and then it occurs to us that others must be independent also.

If I experience the world independently, then other people must have their own independent experience as well.

We move from that to empathy, sharing other people’s feelings and experiences - but also learning to differentiate them from our own.

It all creates this beautiful interplay.

There is you and there is me.

I am not you and you are not me.

But we can influence and impact each other in ways that can either bless each other or hurt each other.

And to the extent that our lives are shaped by God’s goodness, we really want to bless each other.

When we hurt each other, it is usually because we are hurting, and consciously or unconsciously we want someone to share the hurt.

Only an evil person actually wants to hurt people, and that can only be because their lives have been so characterized by pain (maybe just temporarily) that they have lost sight of God’s goodness.

Dr. Tripp is right - love grows out of God’s generous nature.

Love is giving.

1 John 4:11–12 ESV

11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

The fallen world is a hurtful place - we all have had experiences in life that have hurt us, maybe even turned you bitter for a time - but that is why giving it is so important to love.

You may have heard the expression, “hurt people , hurt people!”

Well guess what, “healed people, heal people!”

People who know they are loved, know how to love people.

People who have been redeemed, can help to redeem people.

1 Corinthians 2:12–13 NLT

12 And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. 13 When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths.

Whatever you may know about love, and especially loving well, you learned that from God working through people.

God initiated that love which culminated in Jesus giving us the gift of forgiveness.

It is forgiveness that makes sacrificial love even possible.

Human love is reciprocal. We only love people as much or as long as they love us back.

God’s love is a gift.

It’s a gift that we give because we have received it from God.

And sometimes God is right there like a parent with a child, helping us to do beyond what we can actually do.

Think of a time in your life when you encountered a profound moment of love, perhaps through reconciliation after a long-standing conflict. Such moments echo God’s love, which seeks to restore and heal broken relationships. Just as we often find love in unexpected places, God’s love can transform our lives in surprising and profound ways, inviting us to embrace and reflect that love in our own lives.

When we think about relating in love, let’s first of all recognize that real love has its origin in God.

If you want to practice love, practice loving the way that God loves.

Start like and infant, first, just learn to receive God’s love.

Then, as a child learns to share, learn to share God’s love.

Question for Reflection:

Where are you today in terms of learning to love? Are you and infant, just learning how to rest in Father God? Are you a toddler, discovering that you have your own thoughts and opinions and learning how to share nicely? Have you learned empathy and how to enter into the experiences of others? And can you also separate yourself and go back to God to have your needs met?

Purifying Love

1 Peter 1:22 ESV

22 Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart,

You might think that learning to love is “child’s play,” one of the elementary things in life.

It is that. But it is also a skill that we all cultivate throughout our lives.

It is true that a lot of our issues in learning how to love well are rooted in our childhood - but that is something for you to discuss with your therapist.

Let’s just talk about how to make love better - how to purify love.

Love must be truthful.

Peter says that sincere love comes from obedience to the truth.

The word, “sincere” means to be truthful - literally without hypocrisy.

No “fake love”here!

What is fake love? It’s pretending to love somebody so that they will love you back. - fake it til you make it!

To people every pretend to love?

The story is told of a cat named Whiskers whose owner was very busy and sometimes forgot to feed him. Whiskers would come up and rub around his chair while he was working. He would purr loudly, jump up on the desk and down onto his master’s lap until he would pet him. In the process of petting him, he would also remember to feed him. Whiskers would then jump down and go right for the food. The purring was never about the petting, it was always about the food.

Whiskers learned that what looks like love gets you food.

Sometimes our love is like that, its not really about love, its about satisfying some other need - that is not entirely truthful.

So what do you do about people who are difficult to love?

Being truthful can also be hurtful!

You can find something to love.

After all, Jesus told us to love our enemies.

Luke 6:35 CEV

35 But love your enemies and be good to them. Lend without expecting to be paid back. Then you will get a great reward, and you will be the true children of God in heaven. He is good even to people who are unthankful and cruel.

God doesn’t love us because we are specially lovable.

He loves us because of who He is, not because of who we are.

If you need a reason to love someone, just consider that they are a person who is made in God’s image.

There is something good in everyone - sometimes you just have to look for it.

Love must be intentional.

Peter said to love one another earnestly.

Earnestly means intentionally - you might have to make an effort.

We tend to think of love as a feeling - either you have it or you don’t.

But the Bible mostly uses love as a verb - it is an action, not just a description.

Love recognizes the inherent value of others and cherishes it.

Consider the life of Vincent van Gogh. During his lifetime, he sold just one painting, and many deemed his work unworthy. However, after his passing, his paintings became priceless treasures because someone saw the beauty in his creativity. Love, like that of an art connoisseur, sees the inherent value in people that others overlook. It cherishes what is often unappreciated, reminding us to love those who may feel undervalued.

Every one of us has amazing value, just by virtue of the fact that you are a person created by God.

Maybe, like Van Gogh, people don’t appreciate your quirkiness for the creative genius that it is - but God knows who He created you to be.

If you pay attention, you may be able to recognize God’s amazing creativity in the way he created others to be as well.

What you see as an annoying personality trait may be the unique way that God created them to fulfill their destiny.

Peter also says to love earnestly or intentionally from a pure heart.

That means considering your own heart when you evaluate others.

Maybe the thing that bothers you about someone else is really more about you than it is about them?

We talk in Elijah House abut our tendency to judge others for the same things that we struggle with.

Romans 2:1 CSB

1 Therefore, every one of you who judges is without excuse. For when you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things.

When we are aware of our own hearts, we can recognize how another persons issues are triggering our own issues.

We can love them the way that we want to be loved.

We forgive them, because we also want to be forgive.

We learn to treat others the way that God treats us.

Questions for Reflection:

2. Think of someone that you find difficult to love. (Don’t look at them, just picture them in your mind! Maybe it is someone that you will be seeing or spending time with over the holidays.) Ask God to help you to see them the way that He sees them. If you find that difficult, ask God to show you how He sees you.

Persevering Love

Hebrews 13:1 ESV

1 Let brotherly love continue.

Learning to love is not something that you do only once.

You will spend the rest of your life learning how to love God and other better.

So just settle it in you mind and heart that this is something you will have to continually work at.

The important thing is that you do not give up on loving or loving better.

Lets read a little further to see HOW we are to let brotherly love continue.

Hebrews 13:2–5 ESV

2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. 3 Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. 4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. 5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Love is reflected in your habits.

God is always there for you, but are you always there for Him?

Love for God is demonstrated by our love for people.

Jesus told a parable about people standing before God and their love for God was measure by their attention to marginalized people.

Matthew 25:37–40 NLT

37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

The writer to the Hebrews is saying a similar thing.

You don’t know if that stranger that you are showing kindness to is really and angel in disguise?

One thing I can assure you… even if they are not an angel… they are a person made in the image of God.

And what is it about people in prison - both Jesus and Hebrews mention visiting people in prison.

In ancient times as in many places today - people who are in prison are there because they don’t have the money or don’t know the right people to get them out.

They are literally the marginalized of society.

God’s love sends us to the margins - to the people who do not have anybody else to help them.

God still loves them - and therefore, we do too.

So the writer to the Hebrews is citing examples of brotherly love continuing,

He mentions showing hospitality.

Reaching out to the marginalized.

But then he goes on to talk about faithfulness in marriage.

And not being greedy with your finances.

What do all of these things have to do with each other?

These are all habits that we develop when we are grounded in God as the source of love and generosity.

We can show hospitality because our things aren’t really ours.

We can be generous with our time and attention because we belong to God and we work for Him.

We are trustworthy in relationships because we bring ourselves as a gift to others, we are not looking for anyone else to meet our needs.

And even our money is not really ours, but it is a tool that we use for blessing, just as God would have it.

After all, we don’t really need anything else when we have Him!

1 John 4:19 ESV

19 We love because he first loved us.

That;s it! - He is the source of love and generosity.

And that love and generosity extends to our time and our relationships.

And it extends to our finances and how me manage what we have.

We are living extensions of the love and generosity of God.

Love should always be growing.

Hebrews 13:6–8 ESV

6 So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” 7 Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. 8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Consider God as your source.

The thing that most often keeps us from love is fear.

What if they don’t love me back?

That’s human love - God’s love doesn’t need reciprocity.

What if they hurt me?

God can heal you - and its not “what if” it’s “when they hurt you”

You can expect to get hurt - count on it!

But don’t let that stop you.

1 John 4:18 MSG

18 There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

Whenever you are tempted to fear, look to God as your source - He loves you.

And other people have been used by God to show you that love.

Consider all the people who have sown into your life.

The writer to the Hebrew tells them to consider the example of the saints who have gone before them.

Think about how they lived and the fruit of their lives.

I would add, think about how their life impacted your life.

How did they show you unconditional love?

How did they demonstrate patience and kindness?

How did they model a different way to live?

Whenever I am tempted to give up on someone, God reminds me of the people who didn’t give up on me.

Consider yourself as part of Christs mission and its ultimate fulfillment.

Jesus was sent to save the world, but to do that he invested himself in a few people.

He loved them and he trusted that love to transform them and to multiply through them.

John 13:1 NLT

1 Before the Passover celebration, Jesus knew that his hour had come to leave this world and return to his Father. He had loved his disciples during his ministry on earth, and now he loved them to the very end.

Loving his disciples to the end does not mean he loved them until he couldn’t love them anymore.

It means that he loved them until the goal of that love was completed.

His love was reproduced in them and it continued to reproduce love.

That is the legacy of love that we too have as His disciples.

We pass on His love and let it multiply in the lives of others.

Questions for reflection:

3. Who in your life has shown you God’s love? Have you ever thanked them or thanked God for them? Has anyone ever thanked God for showing His love through you? How have you been a part of the continuing love of Christ?