As The Lord Forgives Q&A

What if Offender Doesn’t Repent?

nother danger is that we use the path to forgiveness as a guise for retribution. In other words, when we see that forgiveness is only applicable when there is repentance, then we use a lack of repentance as an excuse for vengeance disguised as justice. We might claim to be “seeking justice,” but is that true, or are we seeking vengeance? Are we seeking to punish? Is our real goal and desire forgiveness and reconciliation or judgment?

Here is one aspect of forgiveness where there is a degree difference between the forgiveness God extends and the forgiveness we extent. But this difference is explicitly commanded in Scripture.

Romans 12:19–20 ESV

19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”

If we confront someone who has wronged us and they do not repent, that does not permit us to take vengeance or retribution into our own hands. It also doesn’t permit us to be bitter or hateful towards them. In such a case, a person has made it clear they are an enemy, but how do we treat enemies? We love them, pray for them, and treat them right. And we stand ready to forgive and restore them as soon as they are ready and willing to repent. If they choose never to do so, then we leave judgment and punishment in God’s hands.