October 2001 ALR Remarks at Wheaton College Homecoming Chapel

· Several years ago “Time” magazine had a back page essay by Roger Rosenblatt entitled, “What Should We Lead With?”:

“Journalists put the question in practical terms: What should we lead with? The rest of the population asks more generally: What matters most? They come to the same puzzle: Survey events in a given period of time and try to come up with the single moment, the headline, by which the world may be characterized, stopped in its spin. What should we lead with? What matters most?

What we confront in making such choices is not the events alone, but ourselves; and it is ourselves we are not able to place in order. The question is not what the press decrees is this week’s news. The question is us. What should we lead with, what matters most?”

· What matters most? For me, that was a difficult question that has been a lifelong struggle. I have had a performance orientation all of my life, often feeling valued for what I did, rather than who I was.

Early in my career, I was striving for significance, often measured by either the events in which I was involved, the resulting impact or extent to which we were able to influence public opinion.

As I shifted into the ministry arena, I became intense, doing everything I could to help clients use every media opportunity to make positive points for the Gospel.

· I was addicted to caffeine and adrenalin, the positive stress and exhilaration of my job and the nobleness of my calling -- I wasn’t using my time and expertise to merely sell soap, our product was now changed lives.

· I went on the sheer stamina of youth, pushing myself to the limit. I was the classic workaholic, with no balance in my life. If I had been working 100 hours a week selling vacuum cleaners people would have said, “You’re crazy.” Instead, because it was for ministry and people were coming to Christ, they said, “Praise God.”

· I became known not for who I was, but for what I did. “He’s Billy Graham’s P.R. man – tell us, what is Billy really like?”

· I was working with the White House, leaders in business and government, virtually every major media outlet in the U.S. and many overseas, traveling and setting up press operations all over the world (in 180 countries.)

· I was involved in challenging, varied and creative projects, getting incredible experience and seeing tremendous results. But, I had no balance to my life. I was living the imposter syndrome. I was miserable.

· I HAD A DRIVE, BUT NO PURPOSE!

· I wasn’t doing God’s will, as Mike Warnke used to say, I was doing my will in His name.

· I was finding significance and self-worth in a job where I was:

- only as good as my last press conference

- only as capable as the coverage we received of our last crusade

- only as important as what I could deliver on the next project

· I was the guy the prophet Isaiah spoke about in Chapter 50:

“Look, all you who kindle a fire,

Who encircle yourselves with sparks:

Walk in the light of your fire and in the sparks you have kindled –

This you shall have from My hand:

You shall lay down in torment.”

· I was walking in the light of my own fire. I was carrying my own torch and riding in on my white horse and just hoped God realized how lucky he was to have such a conscientious, hard-working guy on his team.

· But God had a different idea. He wanted to put out my torch and shoot that horse out from under me and get me to trust again in him, and him alone, and put some margins – with Him in them – back into my life:

- He wasn’t impressed with my ability, He was concerned about my lack of availability.

- He wasn’t moved by my time in ministry, but by my lack of time for Him

- He didn’t care about how much I was trying, but how little I was trusting

- God says in His Word, “Be holy, because I am holy,” not, “Act holy so that others may come to Christ.” And I was an imposter.

· I was more of a “human doing” than a human being. I had gotten to the point where I was so busy being caught up in what I was doing for the Lord, that I missed out on His blessing for my life.

· But I got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. After a series of events and people the Lord brought into my life to help me work through my stuff, I learned to accept life as an unfolding series of gifts we cannot control, rather than a challenge to be met and manipulated.

· And so, nearly 25 years ago, I had to take myself out of commission for while and restructure my priorities. I turned myself in for work addiction and went away for five weeks to learn how to feel and to live in the moment again.

· (When I started that process, I was “the Wizard of Oz” – the man behind the curtain, working the smoke and mirrors. I was an imposter, running scared.. I sought clarity through intellectualization for the sake of control to give myself the illusion of security.

· But I got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. After working through my stuff (continuing in that Oz metaphor), I became the Tin Man -- who was able to think and feel with his heart. I learned to accept life as an unfolding series of gifts we cannot control, rather than a challenge to be met and manipulated.)

· God’s Word speaks a lot about rest, balance and priorities. But I was more of a “human doing” rather than a human being. But I had gotten to the point where I was so busy being caught up in what I was doing for the Lord, that I missed out on His blessing for my life.

· I realized that God could use me far more effectively in my brokenness, than He can in my giftings or my grandiosity.

· I recognized that neither success or significance brought fulfillment to my soul – only the savior can bring true satisfaction.

· How about you? What matters most in your life – as a person, a student, a homemaker or a professional?

· Do you know Jesus, or are you just doing Jesus?

· Are you merely going through the motions of cultural Christianity – where you know the lingo, can sing the latest praise songs without the words on the wall, and can pray a mean prayer in public – but don’t have a vital faith or resurrection power in your life?

· Is Jesus just a ticket to heaven, or do you allow His Holy Spirit to empower you to live for Him and compel others to know the Christ they see in you?

· Are you so overwhelmed by the pressures of school or maybe making enough money to pay for it you are not seizing the opportunity to trust Him?

· Are you going through life at “Mach Two with your hair on fire”, without a thought about rolling down the window or stopping to smell the roses?

· What matters most in your life – as a person, as a student, or a professional?

· Are you so overwhelmed by the pressures of life, school or vocation that you are not seizing the opportunity to trust Him?

What matters most to you – is it something temporal, or something that will never change?

Are you motivated by the opportunity we have to influence a hurting world with issues of eternal significance, especially in the recent cultural shift of the unprecedented pandemic over the past year ,when people are searching for answers, considering their own morality and more open to the Gospel than ever before?

· Former Senate Chaplain, Dick Halverson put it this way,

“You’ve got to treat yourself as a zero. If you stretch out many zeros in a row, you still have zero. But, if you put a one in front of it, there is no limit to what you can have – one million, one billion, one trillion. Jesus Christ is the one. He can multiply your power and efficiencies many times. He can give us meaning to the zero of our lives.”

I am just learning about who God is, and in the process, He has shown me that every day is a gift from Him, and we were all reminded of that gift so vividly three weeks ago.

o My assigned topic is “Developing Character in Leadership.

o I have been blessed to have been mentored by three great men in my life:

· My Father – a dedicated New Testament scholar with an earned doctorate from the University of Chicago, who for many years was a professor at the Faith Seminary, The Wheaton College Graduate School and Moody Bible Institute, before becoming a dual vocation pastor and hospital chaplain in his later years before his retirement well into his eighties.

o On a personal note, it took my dad 17 years to obtain his doctorate, as he was rarely a full-time student. But it became his obsession and priority, and was something with which I competed my whole life, precluding him from ever coming to ball games or activity, which I came to resent as the eldest child, who often had to serve as surrogate father for my two brothers.

o It also became the foundation for our family becoming a “performance driven household,” whereby we were loved not for who we were, but for what we achieved – or how we made the family look. So, becoming Billy Graham’s PR guy, was actually a “set-up” for me, by which he would often ask me on phone calls, “How’s Billy,” to obtain bragging rights for his academic friends, but rarely inquire about me.

· Evangelist Billy Graham – who over more than three decades became a close colleague, mentor and friend, whom I was able to observe up close and personal, during which time I observed he was the same person in private as he was in public.

o My Pastor defines success as “When the people who know you best, love you most,” and that would apply to Mr. Graham

o People have asked me to describe him in one word, and I have to use four: Integrity, Authenticity, Humility and Vision, by which he was able to exemplify “Leadership with Love.” And, of course, he was a man of prayer.

o Mr. Graham would often speak about Leadership when he traveled for crusades, and in addition to the traits of integrity and vision I already mentioned, he would add two more:

o A sense of priority – being able to separate the important from the urgent or unimportant, triage required of virtually every busy graduate candidate

o Personal Security – to know who you are, where you are going and to find fulfillment in something other than your career, which for him was spiritual. That is something that many graduate students lack in their drive for success in their field.

o I would also add that Mr. Graham was used by God less for his considerable ability, than his availability. I have often heard people say, “I can’t do that, I’m not Billy Graham.” But the evangelist I observed, particularly at the end of his ministry, often struggled with health and physical limitations, sometimes so ill or weak he could hardly walk without assistance. But when it came time to speak, he would be filled with a power, anointing and strength that could only come from the Lord, only to collapse at the end of his sermon.

· Doug Coe – longtime leader of the Fellowship and National Prayer Breakfast, whom the Lord took home on the same day as Billy Graham one year prior. I was privileged to write an obituary for both men in TIME magazine.

· As I shared in the tribute to Mr. Coe, I wrote that I never understood Billy Graham until I met Doug. Prior to that, I assumed that Mr. Graham was uniquely wired to boldly preach the Gospel in stadiums around the world, often feeling the weight and responsibility of the eternal destiny of the huge crowds was dependent on the words he spoke.

· But Doug helped me realize that was intentional, not intuitive, and an agreement they made together. As a result, whenever Mr. Graham was one-on-one with a President, world leader or famous celebrity, he never preached, was sometimes pastoral, but usually just loved them.

§ Buddy Hackett story (If time).

· That Trojan Horse approach to evangelism and faith, is something I learned from the Fellowship

§ Other thoughts on Leadership

§ Bold Witness –

.

· Stress relational leadership. Jesus emphasized relational integrity over intellectual honesty – Judas – gave him the purse.

· Mother Teresa – don’t judge people just because you don’t have time to love them.

· A fellowship colleague, former Minister of Finance for Kosovo, a Muslim, who is a follower of Jesus, once told me, “God will judge us not only for what we have done, but how much we love.

· I had lunch recently with a Dallas Pastor, who had a crisis of faith, and after a week alone with God, he realized that whomever he meets, he can only know two things for sure:

· That individual carries with them characteristics of God (we are made in His image); and

· God loves them as much as he loves me (so I can’t go “one up” on them, because of my faith.

· Focus on the Individual – Don’t be so enamored with who is onstage(and I am not talking about tonight), that you overlook a dozen people sitting in your row, who may go on to greatness and may be lifelong colleagues.

o In closing, as far as leadership goes, all of us are called to be ambassadors for the Kingdom of God, and can allow the love of God to shine through us.

o As such, we need to exhibit character even in the small things, and exhibit:

o Presence in the moment;

o Prayer in the moment; and for those who are parents,

o Patriarch of our families to the next generation

o Closing story – 26 year-old Millennial Stage manager at NBC affiliate in Jax – did something I had never seen anyone do with B.G. – tell story.

o Everyone needs prayer, they need a touch, and that can be all of our personal ministries.

o That day I committed I would never leave a meeting or phone call with Mr. Graham, when I didn’t ask how I could pray for him – and did it, recognizing that very few, if any people were doing so.

o God bless you.

—-

0110 (Excerpted) ALR Remarks at Wheaton College Homecoming Chapel

From Brad Formsma “WOW” Podcast

· Since 1981, when God gave me a front row seat for what He was doing through various ministries around the world, my quest turned from success to significance. But unfortunately most of my significance was based on externals – what I did, and who I did it for. I didn’t have any time to focus on who I was, or my personal relationship with God.

My intensity in doing everything I could to help clients use every media opportunity to make positive points for the Gospel became toxic, to me and my family.

· I became a slave to the tyranny of the urgent, rather than choosing to do the important. Running from my personal pain kept me from seeing the truth. I was living on airplanes, and put my family on the altar of ministry. So much of what I proclaimed in my work for God, wasn’t really true for me.

· I was addicted to caffeine and adrenalin, the positive stress and exhilaration of my job and the nobleness of my calling -- I wasn’t using my time and expertise to merely sell soap, our product was now changed lives.

· I went on the sheer stamina of youth, pushing myself to the limit. I was the classic workaholic, with no balance in my life. If I had been working 100 hours a week in a secular vocation, people would have said, “You’re crazy.” Instead, because it was for ministry and people were coming to Christ, they said, “Praise God.”

· I became known for what I did, rather than for who I was. “He’s Billy Graham’s P.R. man – tell us, what is Billy really like?”

· I was working with the White House, leaders in business and government, virtually every major media outlet in the U.S. and many overseas, traveling and setting up press operations all over the world (in 180 countries.)

· I was involved in challenging, varied and creative projects, getting incredible experience and seeing tremendous results. But, I had no balance to my life. I was living the imposter syndrome… I was miserable.

· I HAD A DRIVE, BUT NO PURPOSE!

· I wasn’t doing God’s will; I was doing my will in His name.

· I was finding significance and self-worth in a job where I was:

- only as good as my last press conference

- only as capable as the coverage we received of our last crusade or media event

- only as important as what I could deliver on the next project

· I was the guy the prophet Isaiah spoke about in Chapter 50, when he wrote:

“Look, all you who kindle a fire,

Who encircle yourselves with sparks…

Walk in the light of your fire and in the sparks you have kindled –This youshall have from My hand:

You shall lay down in torment.”

· I was walking in the light of my own fire. I was carrying my own torch and riding in on my white horse. Deep down, I hoped God realized how lucky Hewas to have such a conscientious, hard-working guy on his team.

· But God had a different idea. He wanted to put out my torch, shoot that horse out from under me and get me to trust in Himagain, and Him alone. He knew I needed to put some margins – with Him in them – back into my life: (go to four points ->)

- He wasn’t impressed with my ability, He was concerned about my lack of availability.

- He wasn’t moved by my time in ministry, but by my lack of time for Him

- He didn’t care about how much I was trying, but how little I was trusting

- God says in His Word, “Be holy, because I am holy,” not, “Act holy so that others may come to Christ.” And I was an imposter.

· I was more of a “human doing” than a human being. I had gotten to the point where I was so busy being caught up in what I was doing for the Lord, that I missed out on His blessing for my life.

· God’s Word speaks a lot about rest, balance and priorities. In Psalm 116:7-9, we read:

Return to your rest, oh my soul. For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For thou has rescued my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. I shall walk before the Lord in the Land of the living.

· And so, five years ago next month, I had to take myself out of commission for a while and restructure my priorities. I turned myself in for work addiction and went away for a period of time to learn how to feel and to live in the moment again.

· When I started that process, I was “the Wizard of Oz” – the man behind the curtain, creating the smoke and mirrors. I was running scared. I sought clarity through intellectualization for the sake of control to give myself the illusion of security.

· But I got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. After working through my stuff (continuing in that Oz metaphor), I became the Tin Man-- who was able to think and feel with his heart.

· I learned to accept life as an unfolding series of gifts we cannot control, rather than a challenge to be met and manipulated.

· I realized that God could use me far more effectively in my brokenness, than He could in my giftings or my grandiosity.

· I recognized that neither success or significance brought fulfillment to my soul – only the Savior can bring true satisfaction.

That’s not something I didn’t hear a thousand times in Sunday School, and right here in this chapel. But I knew it in my head, not my heart.

· I learned that saving the world becomes academic if it comes at the expense of one’s family, and that the most important thing I could do was to be a better husband a father to my three boys.

· Before I was running so hard that I wasn’t able to feel, and for the first time in a long while I was able to experience joy – not just the happiness that comes from doing a great job on something. But true joy – the joy of my family, the joy of my faith, the joy found in moments of life itself.

· The scripture says, “The joy of the Lord is our strength.” Knowing that, I was able to be comfortable in my own skin, free at last to know and to love others and be known and loved by them.