Terry Mutton 12-27-24

December 27th, 2024

We gather this afternoon to mourn the death of Terry Mutton. But while we mourn his death, because it is a huge and significant loss, we don’t want to lose sight of the fact that he also lived, and lived well. So in addition to mourning his death today, we also want to celebrate his life.

In the Bible we read these words,

8 We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. 9 We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, NLT)

Today we hold onto the hope that we do not grieve in a vacuum. We do not grieve alone. Those gathered here today share in your pain, and the Lord promises that He will strengthen us as well. So will you pray with me to that end?

Our Heavenly Father, today we feel the loss that comes with Terry’s death deeply. We ache for the things we have lost, for the conversations we wish we could have had, for the time we wish we could have enjoyed. But at the same time, we are so grateful for the blessing his life was to so many. We pray that you would surround this family with your strength today. Grant them your presence and help as they grieve. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Terry Mutton was born and raised in the Peoria area and spent most of his life here. He and Sharon met at a local discotheque, called “The Poison Apple.” After enjoying a fun night together at the club, Terry called Sharon to see her again. She declined. Fortunately Terry was persistent and called her again a few days later. This time she agreed to see him again, and the rest is history.

Terry and Sharon became inseparable after this, and they eventually formed a family and got married. Over their 40 years of marriage, they made it a point to celebrate both the day they met and the day they got married each year. It worked out well because one happened on May 4th and the other on May 5th!

Terry was a man with tremendous talent and drive. At one time in his life, he was a world-champion soft-tip dart player. His dart playing took him to Germany and Japan, among many other places. He won multiple world championships, and even made an instructional video! He also played in a band, playing both guitar and flute (though I’m told he couldn’t sing!) He was also a tournament bass fisherman, something he continued to enjoy doing throughout his life.

When Mark was born, however, Terry mostly shifted his focus from his own pursuits to participating in the pursuits of his son. When Mark started ice skating and then playing hockey, Terry volunteered to be his coach. He worked to learn the game and be able to coach not only his own son, but the others who were entrusted to him. He wanted to teach them not just how to play hockey, but about what it meant to work hard and to be men. This commitment meant he left an indelible mark on many young men through the years.

Mark was Terry’s pride and joy. Terry’s upbringing was less than ideal. He had decided early on that rather than perpetuating the cycle of abuse, he was going to be the one to break the cycle. So he worked hard to be the best father he could be to his son, and made it a point to support his son in whatever he did.

When Mark left for the Air Force, he and Sharon supported him wholeheartedly. When he went to NIU, they made a point to get to as many of his hockey games as they could. But Terry’s support didn’t just stop at hockey. I’m told that if Mark was going to have a party at college, Terry and Sharon would be invited and would come as well! They wanted their son to know he was loved and supported in whatever he did.

Even when Mark began working, Terry always supported and pushed him in his endeavors. Whether that was as an engineer, working for the nuclear power plant, farming, or starting his own business, Terry made it a point to learn about, take an interest in, and try to understand what Mark was doing. Just recently, he and Mark did some dirt work to install a drain tile, and Terry found the whole process fascinating, if somewhat tiring as well.

When Tanya entered the picture, Terry and Sharon immediately welcomed and supported her as well. They welcomed her as part of their family and let her know how glad they were that their son had found her.

When Riley entered the picture, Terry was nearing retirement age. He had worked for Kreiling since he was 17. He started as basically a gopher, helping to lug shingles and other things up and down the ladders, but by the end of his career, he was running the company. His years of work meant he was great with numbers, and he was always able to remember dates as well. When it came time for him to retire, the company offered him an ownership stake if he’d stay. But for Terry, the decision was easy. He now had grandkids, and he wanted to be close to them.

He and Mark had already worked hard to renovate Mark and Tanya’s new home, making it suitable for their family, so Terry had come to know the area. He and Sharon bought a house in La Harpe so they could maximize their time with their grandchildren.

They were always ready to babysit for Riley and Reese. Those two girls were the apple of his eye. He and Sharon loved that they were able to regularly get the girls after school. Terry would go up to the school an hour before dismissal so he could ensure he was the first one in line to pick up Riley from school. When she walked out the door, she knew she would see Papa waiting for her. I’m told they would have lively conversations on their drive home, as Papa would get to hear all about her day. She knew he cared about her deeply.

Reese enjoyed Fridays, because it meant that she got Papa and Mina to herself. She got to spend the whole day with them because she didn’t have daycare, but Riley still had to go to school.

Papa and Mina’s house quickly transformed into a haven for the grandkids. The backyard became a playground. There was a zip line running between trees, and an obstacle course for the girls to play on. There was also a swimming pool that was always kept filled (and chlorinated, with the water quality monitored) on the back deck. Inside, the girls knew they had the “slime room”, where they could do crafts of all kinds. Reese also knew that Papa had a jar of jellybeans, and that if she asked nicely, she could sneak one—which she then often showed off to her grandma!

But Terry wasn’t just one to do the things that were fun and flashy for those he loved. He also did the hard stuff. He was the guy who would do whatever you needed of him. He was the one who would be there to help you move, or to help with a project. When his family got sick, he helped to care for them and make sure they had what they needed. He helped work out all the details of estates when they passed, and did so without a second thought. As Sharon faced health issues in recent years, Terry’s commitment to her never wavered. He did whatever he needed to make sure she was cared for.

Terry’s life was a testament to his love for others. Those around him never had to question his love for them, because they could see it clearly in the way he treated them. They were a priority to him. They mattered, and he wanted them to know how much he cared about them. He succeeded in communicating that to each of you gathered here today. The hurt and the pain of loss we feel today is a testament to the love and care and devotion he labored to show to each one of you. And for that reason, he will be greatly missed.

Letter from Mark, read by Jon

Song – Leader of the Band, Dan Fogelberg

When you experience the loss of someone who made such a profound impact on your life, the loss is equally profound. Grief is a messy process. Sometimes people feel that grief is a sign of weakness, and that a person who is strong shouldn’t struggle with the death of someone they loved. But that simply isn’t true. Different people grieve in different ways, and what your grief looks like might be different from what someone else’s does, but grief is never a sign of weakness. Rather, grief is a sign of love. The reason we mourn is because we recognize the value of what we have lost. Grief happens because we come to appreciate the value of another person’s life.

Over the days, weeks, and months ahead, I’m sure you will each face grief in different ways. There will be times when you are sad, times when you are angry, and times when you will just miss Terry and wish for one more conversation with him. When those times happen, remember that you aren’t crazy, and you aren’t weak. You are grieving.

Grief is a painful part of life, but it is also a universal part of life. Everyone who loves deeply will also some day experience grief deeply as well. And yet, the Bible doesn’t say grief is a bad thing. It actually says something quite to the contrary,

2 Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties. After all, everyone dies—

so the living should take this to heart. 3 Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. 4 A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time. (Ecclesiastes 7:2-4, NLT)

What a strange statement! The writer of the book of Ecclesiastes (where these verses are found) was most likely Solomon, who had been given a supernatural wisdom from God. Solomon concluded that it was better to spend your time at funerals because funerals remind you of what’s really important. Parties and good times help us forget about the things that matter and instead just focus on ourselves. It’s in the times of sadness, the times of mourning and grief, that we are forced to reflect about what really matters. These times often have the most profound impact on the kind of person we become. If we use these times of grief to learn, we can actually learn a great deal.

As a pastor, one of the lessons that comes immediately to my mind when I think of funerals, grief, and loss is the importance of the questions of faith. It is easy to dismiss the question of what happens when we die, whether there really is a God, and if there is, what he wants from us as merely theoretical questions that don’t have much bearing on life. But when we stand face-to-face with death, we are reminded that those questions aren’t merely theoretical; they are immensely practical, and of supreme importance. It is my hope today that as you work through your own grief, you will also wrestle with these questions for yourself, because you can see how immensely important they are.

I believe if we will do so, then we will find great comfort in what the Bible says about death and life. Jesus, when he was talking to his friends Mary and Martha, after their brother Lazarus had died, said these words,

25 Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. 26 Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?” (John 11:25-26, NLT)

Jesus promised that everyone who trusts in Him will live, even after they die. Then he asked Martha the most important question of all—do you believe this? This is the question each of us must wrestle with. Before we stand face to face with our own death, we must answer the question of do we believe what Jesus has said or not.

If we do, then the sting of death is greatly diminished, because it promises that the end of this life is not the end of the story. It promises that death in this life is actually deliverance from bodies tainted by sin and suffering and resurrection into life the way it was mean to be. And it promises that for those who believe, death is not goodbye, but more like see you later, because we know it is not the end of the story, but merely the end of this chapter.

I know that Terry Mutton’s life on this earth has ended, but I also think that his life offers many lessons that can continue to instruct us today. So, here are some lessons I think we can learn:

1. When you know what your priorities are, some difficult decisions really aren’t that hard.

2. It’s important to say I love you, but it’s even more important to show it in the way you treat people.

3. Grandchildren are one of life’s greatest gifts and joys.

4. When you meet the right person, she’s worth going after…even if she rejects you the first time.

5. Love doesn’t just mean doing flashy things for another person, it is also seen in the mundane things.

6. Though you’re never too big to get in the pool with the grandkids…the pool may not be big enough for you!

7. Hard work and a steady presence may not gain you a lot of attention, but it will make a huge impact in the lives of others.

8. Investing in other people will always yield a worthwhile return.

Will you pray with me?

Our Heavenly Father, we thank you for the life of Terry Mutton. We thank you for the impact he made on the lives of so many others. Thank you for his love, his care, and his example. Thank you for the legacy he leaves behind in the lives of those who knew him. But Father, now we ask for your help, because we feel that loss acutely. Please surround this family with your strength and the comfort that you alone can provide. Temper their grief with memories of their love, but also with the truth that the end of this life is not the end of the story. We pray for your help in the days, weeks, and months ahead. In Jesus’ name. Amen.