Love as Christ Loved

Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,”

Love as Christ Loved

Introduction

Title: "Love as Christ Loved"

Opening Question: What does it truly mean to love someone? Is it mere words spoken at the altar or fleeting emotions tied to convenience? The Bible calls husbands to an extraordinary standard—a love that mirrors the boundless, sacrificial love of Christ for His church.

Setting the Context: In Ephesians 5:25, Paul addresses husbands, saying, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." This is not an ordinary command. It’s a call to a divine, transformative love that exceeds human expectations. The world often equates love with self-gratification or conditional affection, but biblical love is rooted in sacrifice, service, and unwavering commitment.

Illustration: Picture a bride walking down the aisle. Her groom stands at the altar, eyes filled with love and devotion. In that moment, he’s making a vow to love her unconditionally. But how often does that love falter over time when life gets hard, feelings wane, or misunderstandings arise? Christ’s love for His bride—the church—is the model that husbands must emulate: a love that doesn’t fade, compromise, or fail.

Why This Matters: This verse challenges cultural norms and worldly definitions of marriage. It is not about power, control, or mere cohabitation. It is about reflecting Christ’s selfless love in every aspect of life. When husbands embody this Christlike love, marriages thrive, families grow stronger, and God’s glory is displayed in a broken world.

Key Transition: Today, we will explore seven dimensions of Christlike love, unpacking how husbands can love their wives in a way that mirrors the sacrificial, pursuing, nurturing, forgiving, enduring, and covenant-keeping love of Christ. Each point will challenge us to move beyond superficial love and embrace a deeper, Christ-centered devotion.

1. A Call to Sacrificial Love

Scripture: John 15:13 - "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."

Illustration: A father worked two jobs for years to provide for his family, often sacrificing sleep and personal time. He rarely complained because his driving motivation was his family’s well-being. Similarly, husbands are called to lay down their own desires for the sake of their wives, reflecting Christ’s ultimate sacrifice.

Application: Sacrificial love isn’t just about grand gestures; it’s shown in the daily choices to prioritize your wife’s needs above your own.

Philippians 2:5-8 - "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus... He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."

1 John 3:16 - "By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren."

Mark 10:45 - "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many."

Illustration: A firefighter risking his life to save a family in a burning house. Husbands are called to a daily willingness to "give themselves up" for their wives in big and small ways.

2. Love That Pursues and Initiates

Scripture: Romans 5:8 - "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Illustration: A husband and wife were on the verge of divorce after years of drifting apart. The husband, convicted by God’s Word, started pursuing his wife again—writing her notes, taking her on dates, and apologizing for past mistakes. Over time, his intentional pursuit reignited their love and healed their relationship.

Application: Christ didn’t wait for us to come to Him. Husbands, pursue your wives even when it feels difficult or unreciprocated. Take the first step toward reconciliation and affection.

Luke 19:10 - "For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."

1 John 4:10 - "In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins."

Isaiah 65:1 - "I was sought by those who did not ask for Me; I was found by those who did not seek Me."

Illustration: A husband working tirelessly to reconcile with his wife after an argument, initiating peace and forgiveness. Christ's love always takes the first step.

3. Love That Nurtures and Cherishes

Scripture: Ephesians 5:28-29 - "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."

Illustration: A gardener spends hours tending to his plants, ensuring they receive the right amount of water, sunlight, and care. Over time, the plants flourish because of his dedication. In the same way, a husband who nurtures his wife—spiritually, emotionally, and physically—sees her thrive.

Application: Cherishing your wife means being attentive to her needs, speaking words of affirmation, and creating an environment where she feels safe and valued.

Proverbs 27:23 - "Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and attend to your herds." (Parallels nurturing in marriage.)

1 Timothy 5:8 - "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Genesis 2:24 - "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

Illustration: A gardener tending his plants daily, watering, pruning, and protecting them. Husbands are to nurture their wives' emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being.

4. Love That Forgives and Restores

Illustration: A broken vase lovingly glued back together, made whole again. Marital love, like Christ's love, must forgive and rebuild trust after failures and offenses.

Illustration: A couple faced a major betrayal in their marriage, but instead of walking away, they sought counseling and relied on God’s grace to forgive and rebuild trust. Years later, their marriage became a testimony of God’s redemptive power.

Application: Forgiveness isn’t a one-time decision; it’s a daily choice to let go of resentment and allow God to restore what’s broken. Christ forgave us, and husbands are called to do the same.

Matthew 6:14-15 - "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Ephesians 4:32 - "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."

Psalm 103:12 - "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."

Scripture: Colossians 3:13 - "Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do."

5. Love That Leads by Example

Key Scripture: 1 Peter 5:3 - "Nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock."

Illustration: In a small town, a man was known for his kindness, humility, and faithfulness to his family. His children often said, “We know what God’s love looks like because we see it in our dad.” His example inspired not only his family but the entire community.

Application: Husbands, your actions set the tone for your marriage and family. Leading by example means demonstrating humility, service, and integrity in every aspect of life.

Additional Scriptures:

Matthew 5:16 - "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

Titus 2:7-8 - "In all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility."

Joshua 24:15 - "But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Illustration: A lighthouse guiding ships safely to shore through storms. Husbands lead through humility, integrity, and service, shining as Christlike examples for their families.

6. Love That Endures Through Challenges

Key Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:7 - "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Illustration: A man’s wife was diagnosed with a debilitating illness. For years, he cared for her, even as her condition worsened. Despite the physical and emotional toll, his love remained steadfast. He said, “This is the ‘for worse’ part of our vows, and I’m honored to be here for her.”

Application: Enduring love means standing firm in difficult seasons, trusting God to strengthen you, and holding fast to your commitment.

Additional Scriptures:

Galatians 6:9 - "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."

James 1:2-4 - "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience."

Hebrews 10:36 - "For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise."

Illustration: A diamond formed under pressure and heat. Love matures through trials, becoming more resilient and precious.

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:7 - "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

7. Love That Reflects Christ's Eternal Covenant

Key Scripture: 1 John 4:19 - "We love Him because He first loved us."

Illustration: A husband and wife celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. When asked about their secret, the husband said, “We made a covenant before God, and we’ve honored it every day since—through ups, downs, and everything in between.” Their faithfulness reflected Christ’s unchanging commitment to His church.

Application: Husbands, your love should reflect the unbroken covenant Christ has with us—a love that is enduring, faithful, and eternal.

Additional Scriptures:

Hebrews 13:8 - "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."

Isaiah 54:10 - "For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but My kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has mercy on you."

Malachi 2:14 - "The Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant."

Illustration: A wedding ring, a circle with no beginning or end, symbolizes an eternal covenant. Husbands are called to reflect Christ's steadfast commitment to His church.

Conclusion: A Real-Life Illustration

The Story: There’s a true story of a man named Robertson McQuilkin, a Christian leader and former president of Columbia Bible College. At the height of his career, Robertson made the shocking decision to step down from his prestigious role. Why? His wife, Muriel, had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, and her condition had worsened to the point where she could no longer care for herself.

Robertson could have hired help or placed Muriel in a care facility, but he chose a different path. He devoted himself fully to caring for her—feeding her, dressing her, and even comforting her when she no longer recognized him. In his resignation letter, he wrote, "She is such a delight to me. I don’t have to care for her—I get to care for her. It’s my joy."

This wasn’t love based on convenience, attraction, or even reciprocity. It was sacrificial, enduring, and Christlike—a reflection of how Christ loves His church, even when we fail to recognize His goodness or respond to His love.

Bringing It Home: Husbands, the love you are called to embody is not about meeting a standard set by the world. It’s about reflecting Christ’s love—selfless, unwavering, and life-giving. This love isn’t reserved for the extraordinary moments; it’s shown in the everyday acts of kindness, patience, and humility. It’s revealed when you choose forgiveness over resentment, service over selfishness, and commitment over convenience.

Imagine the transformation that would take place if husbands loved their wives this way. Marriages would flourish, families would thrive, and the watching world would see a living picture of the gospel.

Closing Challenge: How are you loving your wife today? Are you willing to give yourself for her as Christ gave Himself for the church? Take inspiration from Robertson McQuilkin’s story, but more importantly, from the ultimate example—Jesus Christ. Let His love be your standard and your strength.

Closing Scripture: 1 John 4:12 - "No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us."