How Do People Change

Introduction

The New Year is often a time for making decision, resolutions that this year things are going to be different. But year after year, things seem like the same. Eventually, many of us just give up on the idea of making any changes in our lives at New Years because we have tried and failed so many times before. It seem pointless; just a thing to do. We can become jaded about all change in our lives and then we build up this system for why we can’t change.

Take an example of a woman stuck in an physically abusive relationship. Why is it that most of the time women stay in abusive relationships? Looking from the outside many of us would ask, “why don’t they get out of that situation and get help?” But often women in abusive relationships feel stuck. They believe their situation can’t change and they have built up a system of false beliefs that keep them in abusive relationships. Maybe it is feelings of economic dependence: If I leave how will I support myself. Maybe it is religious belief: they believe that the bible tells them they can never leave for any reason. Maybe its a desire to save this other person: If I leave, who will get their life back on track. Often it is a continued love for that person: I remember all the good times we used to have.

No matter what the reason is, they feel like they cannot change their circumstances. To a lesser degree I think we often struggle with the same feelings: feelings of inadequacy to change. We have tried to overcome our critical spirit, but it seems like I just keep falling back into the same patterns. We have tried to stop working ourselves up with worry and anxiety, but the feelings come crushing down on us like a wave pushing us down. We regret all the times we lost our tempers, but here we go again and it feels like it was all over with before I knew what was happening. It feels hopeless.

So here is the question we are going to ask this morning as we look at a new year: Is it possible to change? I believe the bible declares a definite yes! This morning we are going to look at a passage most of us know, but maybe you haven’t thought of it in the way we are going to look at the text. Let’s turn to

2 Timothy 3:16–17 “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.”

This passage is often used to show the inspiration of scripture and the sufficiency of scripture. This chapter Paul is making a contrast between himself and false teachers and then in the second half, he challenges Timothy to be different than these false teachers. But one of the descriptions of the false teachers is that they had a form of godliness but denied the power thereof. 2 Timothy 3:5 “Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.” These false teachers could play the part of acting godly when they needed to, but they did not have any power to produce true godliness.

It is that context that we find our text. Paul say that all scripture is profitable. That word means useful, it is beneficial and then we are given a list of four things that we will come back to in a second, but I want us to focus on vs 17. The verse begins with the word that. The word that can have many different meanings:

It could be used as a demonstrative adjective: That dog just ate my cake.

It could also introduce a noun clause: That which we have seen and heard, declare we unto you. Here it is the direct object of the message we are declaring.

It could function as a reason or result. This is the use here in our text. You could insert the words so that and it would make more sense.

God inspired scripture and made it profitable so that the man of God, that is every Christian, may be two things:

perfect- perfect in this verse means to be well fitted for something. When we send out an army into war, we don’t just pick up the kids at the recruiting station, hand them a rifle and then ship them off to Iraq. We send them to boot camp so they can be prepared for the battle ahead of them: they can be well fitted for the fight.

throughly furnished unto all good works- fully equipped for what? to do good works. They are prepared to do any good thing that God desires them to do. Whether that is feeding the poor or overcoming anger, worry, and a critical spirit.

Paul’s point is that the scriptures change a man. They are the tool in the Holy Spirit’s hand to shape us, to equip us and transform us. The rest of this message we are going to ask, How the Holy Spirit uses that word to transform us? What is the method he uses to change us?

Doctrine

Doctrine is a dirty word to most people. The average every day Christian doesn’t desire to study theology because they think it is stuffy; or they think that doctrine divides; so they ignore a deeper study of the scriptures. But the word doctrine simply means teaching.

In counseling, I use other biblical terminology that means the same thing. We are taught the process of change as putting off, renewing your mind and putting on. This is the renewing of your mind stage.

Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; But his heart is not with thee.”

Proverbs 4:23 “Keep thy heart with all diligence; For out of it are the issues of life.”

No one changes merely by changing some sets of behaviors.

You can convince a thief not to steal lest he end up in jail, but you haven’t changed the greed that motivates his desire to steal. Why is it that new years eve resolutions fail so often? We are trying to change behavior without changing the heart.

Scriptures renew our minds by teaching us what God is like and giving us principles by which we ought to live our lives. 2 Corinthians 3:18 “But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.” Seeing God, being taught what he is like is part of this process of change. As we see God’s character in scripture and come to love and commune with him, our minds are renewed.

Why is it that you do the things you do? Why did you eat that last cookie in the cookie jar this Christmas? No doubt you reasoned something like this: It’s the holidays, I’ll lose weight Jan 1. or I want a cookie so I’m going to eat that cookie. The point is you do the things you do because you think the thoughts you think.

Compulsive behavior may seem to the exception to the rule here. How many times have we done something without thinking? But if you really think about compulsive behaviors they are not an exception to the rule. The reason you struggle with doing things without thinking or meaning to, feeling out of control is because you have built up a strong hold by earlier choices of wrong behavior. You built up a habit of acting a certain way under certain circumstances.

If our hearts are going to be changed our thinking must be changed. That is the work the Holy Spirit does with the word. He teaches us how and what to think.

Reproof

The second way the Holy Spirit uses the words of God to change us is to convict us. Not only does he tell us what is right, he tells us when we have done wrong. The word conviction was defined by Kittel as

Reproof-to show someone their sin and to summon them to repentance.

But it goes further than that. God’s conviction comes in from three different sources:

scriptures- as our text says, the scriptures convict us of sin in our lives. Have you ever been reading in the word and been struck by an idea that needed to be corrected? Often times conviction is accompanied by a sinking feeling or burning inside over our guilt.

the preacher- 2 Timothy 4:2 “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.” The word reprove is the same word here. God uses the preaching of his word to try to convict us of our sin.

the holy spirit- John 16:8 “And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:”

But it isn’t merely that the scriptures tell us we have done wrong and call us to repentance. If you continue studying the word, it includes the idea of refutation. As I have pointed out, we do the things we do because we think the things we think. When someone tells you you have done wrong, what is your first response?

For most of us, our first response is to defend ourselves. We usher out all the reasons we think we were right. All the justifications and excuses for our behavior. Notice God doesn’t just say You were wrong he goes on to prove it.

Example: Psalm 46:1–3 “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.”

God is challenging us not to fear. Even under impossible circumstances. The earth is shaking out from under us, the Rocky mountains are drifting off into the pacific ocean, waters are swelling around me. Seems pretty hopeless, but notice how God interacts with us through his word. He gives us reasons. God is our refuge. I can hide in Him and he will take care of me. He is my strength. I can’t get through this impossible situation, but God can give me the strength. He is a present help. He is here now to help me.

So God’s process of conviction tells us we were wrong and calls us to change our minds about our behavior. Scriptures will even refute the wrong thinking we use to justify our behavior. This is the other half of renewing your mind.

Correction

The third way the Holy Spirit uses the scriptures to change us is by correction. The bible tells us how to make it right again. When we have been living a certain way for some time, it may seem impossible to live a different way. We don’t even know where to begin. How do we make things right again?

The bible is not vague about how we start going the right direction in life. Imagine a man who has been working as the treasurer at a church for years, but has secretly been stealing from the church. One day he falls under conviction and goes to the elders of the church to admit his sin. What does he need to do to correct this pattern of behavior?

Confession- his sin needs to be confessed to God and to all those involved or hurt by the sin. In this case the entire church because his sin had a direct impact on each of the members of the church. Optionally, he can confess his sin to others who were uninvolved if he is seeking their help and accountability.

Seeking forgiveness- He needs to pursue true forgiveness and reconciliation with those he has hurt. This doesn’t mean the consequences go away. The church would be unwise to let him deal with finances again, but he needs to pursue the biblical mandates for making things right again. This would include restoration of what he has stolen.

forsaking the sin- he needs to repent, turn from the sin. Most habitually sins, will require some form of counseling or help to truly find victory. If he could have had victory over this sin on his own, he would have already done it. This is part of what God has called the church to do in admonishing one another.

Beginning an alternative way of living- this is what correction is all about. Getting on the right path. So while scripture may knock us down sometimes in conviction and reproof; it puts us back up on our feet again. The man in this instance needs to practice financial stewardship of his own finances and accountability in his life.

Instruction in Righteousness

The final part of this process of change involves instruction in righteousness. The word instruction comes from the same word that means chastening, nurturing, or training. It comes from the root word child; so the picture it is intended to evoke is of a parent training a child.

How many times do you have to teach you kids to do something before they actually really get it down? If I want my son to learn how to cook a steak, I am going to show him how, then have him do it and then coach him a few more times while he gets into a habit of cooking a good steak.

This is what it looks like to train your children. Often we think we have done our job because we told our kids what to do, but our job is deeper than that. God doesn’t just tell us what to do and then walk away. He trains us.

When I think of instruction in righteousness, I am reminded of a few concepts that this implies:

Victory is not instantaneous- You spent how many years doing the wrong thing and do you honestly think doing the right thing is going to happen over night. Sometimes the Spirit will work that way, but most of the time he works by training us because it is better for our spiritual growth.

Victory takes work- 1 Timothy 4:7 “But refuse profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness.” The word exercise is the Greek word from which we get the word gym. The main reason people don’t go to the gym and work out is because it is hard and takes work. One of the main reason’s people do not see change in their lives is because it takes work and they give up.

Victory takes learning- If the scriptures role is to correct wrong thinking and teach you right thinking, but change doesn’t happen immediately; then as you walk along this trail you will be constantly learning and correcting thoughts.

Conclusion

So let’s put this all together in a package you might understand. Let’s use having a critical spirit as an example because it is something I struggle with.

As you are reading along in the word of God you come to 1 Corinthians 4:5 “Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.” You are taught what God’s desire for your life is: stop judging. You are even told why: God will judge.

And you are convicted about how you have been unrighteously judging your friend for their inconsiderate behavior. Let’s say they are always late and it has been eating you up. As you read, you start coming up with excuses by comparing yourself to that friend. You are never late right. But you come down to 1 Corinthians 4:7 “For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it?” God refutes your arguments and excuses.

Then he tell you how to correct this problem you have. 1 Corinthians 4:6 “And these things, brethren, I have in a figure transferred to myself and to Apollos for your sakes; that ye might learn in us not to think of men above that which is written, that no one of you be puffed up for one against another.”

a. Let scripture tell you how to think about people.

b. Don’t be proud- humble yourself

So in these three steps the word has challenged you with the right action, convicted you of your wrong and refuted your excuses and it has told you how to correct the problem. Now this isn’t a one and done thing. Every time those critical thoughts come up in your mind. Every time someone else begins to criticism that person in your presence. Every time you are tempted to get frustrated, you must choose to put off the wrong feeling and acting, renew your mind around the truth and then respond the way God would have you respond. Over and over and over again until the Holy Spirit develops a new pattern of living in your life.

So let’s circle back around to the question of change. Can you change? Yes, but it will not be an easy road ahead of you. Maybe you have resisted change because it takes too much. You are ready to quite because its too hard. Maybe you have felt lost. The message this morning is that there is hope of change as the Spirit works through his word, but it doesn’t happen magically.

Let’s commit to working alongside the Spirit in this process of change in our lives.