The Gift of Parenting

We have many holidays in America. Yesterday was “National Coconut Creme Pie Day”. Yum. Yesterday was also “National Birth Mother’s Day”:

“National Birth Mother’s Day occurs on the Saturday before Mother’s Day (second Sunday of May) and this year it falls on May 8. It’s a mindful tribute to recognize birth mothers who chose to place their children for adoption.”

And today is Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day to you moms!

Today we are also thrilled to celebrate with a few parents who have requested child dedications.

As I prepared for today I decided I would look through the Bible to attempt to find a great parenting role model. Someone we can look at in the scriptures and say, “Raise your kids like that!”.

I could not find one example of exemplary parenting in the entire Bible!

Isaac played favorites and Rebecca told her son to lie and deceive

Jacob favored Joseph so much that his brothers wanted to kill him (yeah, so his other sons plotted murder)

Because the NT focuses primarily on the historical narrative and teachings of Jesus, there are less examples. I think the only implication we have that someone was a good parent is found when Paul commends Timothy:

2 Timothy 1:5 CSB

5 I recall your sincere faith that first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and now, I am convinced, is in you also.

Though Paul never said that mom passed on her faith to her son, it is implied, but I would certainly not make a strong argument for it from this verse alone.

Equally dismaying are the things I have heard preached and taught in churches about parenting that do not line up with the Bible.

MYTH - Proper Parenting Produces Piety

One of the things that AMAZES me is how 2 children from the same parents can sometimes be so very, very different!

We see this a lot in the Bible:

Cain & Abel

Jacob & Esau

Jesus & James - is is really fair to compare them? lol

And even if the parents fear the Lord, you cannot guarantee that the children will! I know we like to hold on to verses like:

Proverbs 22:6 NLT

6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

We quote proverbs as if it is a magical formula for success. It is not meant to be a guarantee or promise to claim. It is a reminder of the importance of instruction and direction - for without it there is less of a chance they will follow God.

BUT then I come to the list of kings in the Bible:

DAVID the man after God’s own heart -> ADONIJAH tries to take the throne away from him.

SOLOMON the wisest man who ever lived -> JEOBOAM made golden calves for Israel to worship

By the time you get to the book of 2 Kings it is rapid fire, good king, bad king, from the same family line:

Jotham (son of Uzziah) -> Did what was right in the Lord’s sight (2 Kings 15:32-34)

Ahaz (son of Jotham) -> Did NOT do what was right in the Lord’s sight (2 Kings 16:1-3)

Hezekiah (son of Ahaz) -> Did what was right in the Lord’s sight (2 Kings 18:1-3)

Keep reading the book and you will see the story line plays out over an over. There is NO equation that can be found; godly parents can have kids that reject God and wicked parents can have kids that love God.

So what have I learned from this?

Being a Godly parent is important, but also not a guarantee that your children will choose to follow God.

MYTH - If I involve my kids in Church they will follow God.

Youth groups, Sunday Schools, weekly kids ministries are all awesome! But they are no magic bullet for creating faithful, God fearing children. Neither are Christian schools or summer camps.

First of all, it is never the job of the church, a school or a camp to raise your children. I’ve often experienced parents dropping off their kids at these places thinking, “My children need to learn about God and that is the place!”. While they are correct that their children need to learn about God, it is more significant that their children learn to KNOW God, and while that can be reinforced at those places, it is best learned at home.

Does the Bible teach that if we involve our kids in public worship and sign them up for camp they will follow God?

Let’s look at a few examples:

BAD - Aaron (THE FIRST High Priest) had 2 sons who tried to offer their own sacrifices and God killed them

Later we come across another man who lived at the temple an had his kids at the temple all the time:

BAD - Eli, the priest, had sons who did horrible things in the temple

GOOD - Samuel, daughter of Hannah, who was raised by Eli

1 Samuel 2:26 CSB

26 By contrast, the boy Samuel grew in stature and in favor with the Lord and with people.

Here is a group of boys, raised by a father who was a priest, and who lived and served at the temple. 2 sons will be killed by God and 1 son was honored by God. So, it seems to me that being at church services all the time is not a guarantee that you will have Godly children.

Is there any hope?

NOW that you see that there is no magic formula for raising Godly children, that there is no class you can take or ten steps to follow that will guarantee your children will fear God and love him all their days, we can move on to what God’s Word really teaches about parenting.

Godly parenting mean TRUSTING God with your children.

Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice to God.

Hannah offered Samuel as a gift to God.

Joseph & Mary offered Jesus as a first born (see Ex. 13:11-13) and later took him to Jerusalem to make his faith his own.

I want to look at those 3 examples for a few minutes together:

Hannah (& Elkanah)

Illustration: Have a small LEGO set wrapped as a gift. Give it to one of the kids who is good with LEGOs and have them make it during the messages.

1 Samuel 1:2–6 CSB

2 He had two wives, the first named Hannah and the second Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah was childless. 3 This man would go up from his town every year to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of Armies at Shiloh, where Eli’s two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, were the Lord’s priests. 4 Whenever Elkanah offered a sacrifice, he always gave portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to each of her sons and daughters. 5 But he gave a double portion to Hannah, for he loved her even though the Lord had kept her from conceiving. 6 Her rival would taunt her severely just to provoke her, because the Lord had kept Hannah from conceiving.

2 times we are told it was God that kept Hannah from having children.

1 Samuel 1:11 CSB

11 Making a vow, she pleaded, “Lord of Armies, if you will take notice of your servant’s affliction, remember and not forget me, and give your servant a son, I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and his hair will never be cut.”

1 Samuel 1:19–20 CSB

19 The next morning Elkanah and Hannah got up early to worship before the Lord. Afterward, they returned home to Ramah. Then Elkanah was intimate with his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. 20 After some time, Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, because she said, “I requested him from the Lord.”

I want us to start by recognizing that every child comes from God and is a gift from God. There are many women who are never able to have children, and this passage is NOT trying to promise that if you worship God and promise to dedicate your children to him, that he will give you kids.

This is a reminder that God is sovereign and we are not. Last week, David Steltz reminded us that God is sovereign - meaning he is in control. That is not just of kings and kingdoms, but also to wombs, and if God is the one who opens the womb and the giver of life, then it is best for us to acknowledge that. Your child is ONLY your child because God has chosen to allow you to have that gift.

Children are a gift from God. I gave LEGOs to someone this morning. Was it unfair of me to NOT give LEGOs to everyone? No. As a gift giver I have the right to choose who gets the gift.

Psalm 127:3 CSB

3 Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, offspring, a reward.

AND we should also note that just as the LEGOs come with instructions, similarly, the gift of children DOES come with instructions. The Bible DOES have some great instruction for how to live to please God, even as parents :

Ephesians 6:4 CSB

4 Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Let men encourage you this morning that while your children may be a challenge at times, they are still a gift from God - much like the LEGOs. Even if they appear similar, each one will have a unique look and may require a different approach to parent.

ENJOY THIS! Learn to see your children as unique gifts, hand crafted by God. You, as parents, get the privilege of unwrapping the mystery of that gift. You also have the unique opportunity to develop and invest in that gift to help it become what the creator intended.

ABRAHAM

Which bring us to our next parenting example:

Abraham did not think he was ever going to have a son. He waited for God to give him Isaac, but not without doubt or without trying to take matters into his own hands, which ended up badly.

Genesis 21:1–4 CSB

1 The Lord came to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. 2 Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the appointed time God had told him. 3 Abraham named his son who was born to him—the one Sarah bore to him—Isaac. 4 When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God had commanded him.

Then, God tested Abraham:

Genesis 22:1–2 CSB

1 After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” “Here I am,” he answered. 2 “Take your son,” he said, “your only son Isaac, whom you love, go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about.”

If you are not familiar with the story, read chapter 22 of Genesis! I will tell you that Isaac is NOT killed!

Hebrews 11:17–19 CSB

17 By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac. He received the promises and yet he was offering his one and only son, 18 the one to whom it had been said, Your offspring will be traced through Isaac. 19 He considered God to be able even to raise someone from the dead; therefore, he received him back, figuratively speaking.

I am sure that was a memorable moment for BOTH Abraham and Isaac! It is a reminder that JUST as God is the giver of life and the opener of wombs, he is the sustainer of life and able to protect as well as bless.

This is a reminder for us, as parents, to trust God and live in faith. We want our children to follow God, and the best way to teach them that is to be models of them in the ways that we trust God and place our faith in him.

Psalm 78:1–8 CSB

1 My people, hear my instruction; listen to the words from my mouth. 2 I will declare wise sayings; I will speak mysteries from the past— 3 things we have heard and known and that our ancestors have passed down to us. 4 We will not hide them from their children, but will tell a future generation the praiseworthy acts of the Lord, his might, and the wondrous works he has performed. 5 He established a testimony in Jacob and set up a law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach to their children 6 so that a future generation— children yet to be born—might know. They were to rise and tell their children 7 so that they might put their confidence in God and not forget God’s works, but keep his commands. 8 Then they would not be like their ancestors, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not loyal and whose spirit was not faithful to God.

JOSEPH & MARY

Has anyone else noticed that we hear people talk about babies being perfect, but we do not hear many people saying, “my 2 year old is perfect”?

Let’s look at the parents of the perfect child - Jesus. We read in Luke that Joseph & Mary followed all the commands of God regarding circumcision and buying back the first born. They also went to the temple on the festivals and gave sacrifices.

Luke 2:41–52 CSB

41 Every year his parents traveled to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival. 42 When he was twelve years old, they went up according to the custom of the festival. 43 After those days were over, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. 44 Assuming he was in the traveling party, they went a day’s journey. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. 45 When they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for him. 46 After three days, they found him in the temple sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 And all those who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. 48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.” 49 “Why were you searching for me?” he asked them. “Didn’t you know that it was necessary for me to be in my Father’s house?” 50 But they did not understand what he said to them. 51 Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was obedient to them. His mother kept all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with people.

As a parenting story, there is good and bad:

GOOD - they followed God’s commands for the Passover.

BAD - they lost Jesus in a HUGE crowd in Jerusalem!

Illus: I remember one year when our extended family went to watch fireworks in another town. The crowds were enormous and on the way out of the park we realized that one of the young kids was missing! What a panic!! And what a relief when we found him!

I but the parents are not the focus in this Luke passage. The focus is on Jesus and that HE was twelve and therefore responsible for his own faith, as that is the age of accountability for the Jews.

Parents, it is wise of rus to remember that we cannot make our children follow God and love him. We cannot force them. There will come a time in their lives when they will have to choose for themselves whether to accept the grace of God and the offer or being restored to Him, or not.

Some children will quietly go through this phase, others will outright rebel against God and the church. DO NOT take this personally, parents! Even if they are reacting to something you have done, it is not YOU they are rejecting, it is God. And, God has a way of working in lives.

This is a reminder that we need to love our children but we also need to trust God for their faith.

1 Thessalonians 2:11–12 CSB

11 As you know, like a father with his own children, 12 we encouraged, comforted, and implored each one of you to walk worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.

The implication here is that all fathers (or mothers) implore their children to live a life that pleases God.

In our modern culture, parenting seems to be a bolt-on. We work, we take care of the house, we go to church, we parent. Once our children are school aged, parenting means being: meal provider, taxi driver, lunch maker, homework monitor, cheer leader, etc. Modern parenting has become a career.

BUT that is just in the last 100 years or so.

Prior to that, parenting meant working WITH your kids all day long. If they were boys they were in the fields with you, so you spent the day working, talking, interacting with them. If they were girls they cleaned, cooked, etc with mom all day. Parenting used to be more like a trade or apprentice.

Having children is called procreation. It is the act of creating. It is one of the ways God has given us to reflect Him by imitating his action of creation. As parents, we need to continue to model and imitate our Heavenly Father so that our children will see and hear what is means to Love God with all we have.

Dedications

As we transition to our dedications this morning, I want to go back to the Proverb we read in the beginning of our time together:

Proverbs 22:6 ESV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

INTERESTING FACT: The word for “train up” is the exact same word that was used for Solomon “dedicating” the temple to the Lord. The command is literally to dedicate our children to the Lord.... give them to God and trust God with them.

We dedicate young children. We don’t baptize them because it is our belief that baptism is a sign of a willful decision to follow Jesus and baby’s and infants cannot make that decision.

So what is a dedication? It is all of the things we have talked about this morning! It is NOT an action of the child, but the words and actions of the parent(s) as they publicly seek God in their task of parenting.

It is a presenting of the child to God, acknowledging that the child came from God and that the child belongs to God.

It is an acknowledgement that the parents are making that they understand they are stewards of this gift from God.

It is a covenant that the parents are making to do their best, in the strength of the Holy Spirit, to teach their child about God through their words and their lifestyle.

DEDICATION OF WILLIAM McMAHON:

Liam is 3 years old! And today, Jaymi & Bill are standing before you to dedicate Liam. Dedication is not something I can do, or that the church can do FOR them. It is something they do before the church.

ASK: Liam, did you know that YOU are a gift from God? How cool is that!

Bill, just as Ella is a mirror image of Jaymi, Liam is certainly your son! As he grows I want to encourage you to remember that he is a gift from God ;)

Bill and Jaymi, do you believe that Liam is a gift from God?

Do you understand that he is not YOUR creation, but God’s creation and God has made you a stewards of this precious life?

Is it your desire to live as role models for Liam in faith and love for God, each other and him?

CHURCH - It is our responsibility as their family to pray for Bill & Jaymi as they dedicate Liam, and themselves, to the Lord. Not only should we be praying for them, but also for Liam - that he would come to KNOW God as his Father and love him.

PRAY

DEDICATION OF EDEN STELTZ

Eden is 2 months old. And today, David & Ellie are standing before you to dedicate Eden.

I have tried to figure out who Eden is most like, and the conclusion I have is that she is just like BOTH of them! She can be very chill, or she can be hangry; she is adorable and funny.

David & Ellie, do you believe that Eden is a gift from God?

Do you understand that she is not YOUR creation, but God’s creation and God has made you a stewards of this precious life?

Is it your desire to live as role models for Eden in faith and love for God, each other and her?

CHURCH - It is our responsibility as their family to pray for David & Ellie as they dedicate Eden, and themselves, to the Lord. Not only should we be praying for them, but also for Eden - that she would come to KNOW God as her Father and love him.

PRAY

Let