Getting Over It: Rejection
Notes
Transcript
Opening Illustration:
Opening Illustration:
As we could see from the video, we all have heavy burdens we all carry around with us.
How do we deal with these burdens?
Some people will say “Just get over it.” If only it was that easy.
By the way, telling someone to “just get over it” is never helpful.
QUESTION: But, are there Biblical principles that can aid us in getting over some of the things we experience in life? I believe there is.
Today, I want us to focus our attention on Getting over REJECTION.
Rejection is something we have all felt at one point or another.
For some of us it started early. Do any of you remember how it felt to be the last person chosen for a team in gym class? I do.
Do you remember how it felt to be left out of “the cool group” at school?
Do you remember asking someone out on a date or to a dance and they said “no?”
Psychologists mention there are a few different types of rejection in life:
Familial rejection - rejection from one’s family of origin - may consist of abuse, abandonment, neglect or withholding love and affection.
Social rejection - Bullying and alienation in school or the workplace
Relational rejection - Rejection while dating or in a relationship
Romantic rejection - when a person asks for a date and is denied (when she checks “no” on the box.
Personal rejection - you reject yourself. You are judgemental of yourself.
Rejection can cause some unwanted psychological effects:
Trauma - some individuals develop a chronic fear of rejection and it traumatizes their life/ PTSD is linked to rejection/ Do you know how many times school shootings are linked to rejection?
Depression - Rejection has been linked to development of depression in teenagers.
Pain Response - Studies were done years ago found that emotional pain and physical pain are BOTH activated during moments of emotional turmoil. That’s why you can’t remember exactly how bad you hurt when you fell off your bike when you skinned your knee, but you remember exactly how bad it felt when you were rejected for that first date.
Anxiety and stress - can lead to their development
Abuse - A study found that, in the male members of the study, the perpetration of abuse in intimate relationships was associated with the experience of higher levels of parental rejection in childhood.
So as we can see, rejection has a BIG impact on our lives.
The question that is before us this morning is - how do we handle rejection? How do we “get over it?”
Well I wish I had a MAGIC PILL I could pull out that would fix any and all rejection. But unfortunately nothing like that exists.
But there are many characters in the Bible who experienced REJECTION. I’d like to look at one of them this morning - Samuel.
Now you have to remember Samuel’s background to understand this passage.
Samuel was set apart (by his mother and father) to serve the Lord. He was chosen by God to serve as a judge over Israel.
The people of Israel at this point in Biblical history lived in a THEOCRACY - a government ruled by God.
God chose the judges, but ultimately it was God who was their king.
Samuel had spent his whole life serving the people of Israel as a judge.
Think about that for a minute - Samuel poured out his life to the people of Israel. He helped them. He judged them. He picked up the phone in the middle of the night to assist. He cared for them. He loved them.
And he spent his ENTIRE life serving God and serving them. And then we read 1 Samuel 8 where the people decide they don’t want him any longer as a judge.
1 When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as judges over Israel. 2 His firstborn son’s name was Joel and his second was Abijah. They were judges in Beer-sheba. 3 However, his sons did not walk in his ways—they turned toward dishonest profit, took bribes, and perverted justice.
4 So all the elders of Israel gathered together and went to Samuel at Ramah. 5 They said to him, “Look, you are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways. Therefore, appoint a king to judge us the same as all the other nations have.”
6 When they said, “Give us a king to judge us,” Samuel considered their demand wrong, so he prayed to the Lord. 7 But the Lord told him, “Listen to the people and everything they say to you. They have not rejected you; they have rejected me as their king. 8 They are doing the same thing to you that they have done to me, since the day I brought them out of Egypt until this day, abandoning me and worshiping other gods. 9 Listen to them, but solemnly warn them and tell them about the customary rights of the king who will reign over them.”
10 Samuel told all the Lord’s words to the people who were asking him for a king. 11 He said, “These are the rights of the king who will reign over you: He will take your sons and put them to his use in his chariots, on his horses, or running in front of his chariots. 12 He can appoint them for his use as commanders of thousands or commanders of fifties, to plow his ground and reap his harvest, or to make his weapons of war and the equipment for his chariots. 13 He can take your daughters to become perfumers, cooks, and bakers. 14 He can take your best fields, vineyards, and olive orchards and give them to his servants. 15 He can take a tenth of your grain and your vineyards and give them to his officials and servants. 16 He can take your male servants, your female servants, your best cattle, and your donkeys and use them for his work. 17 He can take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves can become his servants. 18 When that day comes, you will cry out because of the king you’ve chosen for yourselves, but the Lord won’t answer you on that day.”
19 The people refused to listen to Samuel. “No!” they said. “We must have a king over us. 20 Then we’ll be like all the other nations: our king will judge us, go out before us, and fight our battles.”
21 Samuel listened to all the people’s words and then repeated them to the Lord. 22 “Listen to them,” the Lord told Samuel. “Appoint a king for them.”
Then Samuel told the men of Israel, “Each of you, go back to your city.”
Samuel was rejected. He knows how it feels.
According to the Scriptures there were 3 main reasons Samuel was rejected.
1. “You’re too old.”
1. “You’re too old.”
That’s literally what they told him in vv. 5 - “Look you are old…”
“We reject you as our judge because you are old. You are out of touch with the current trends. You can’t keep up with us. It’s time for someone younger, someone newer.”
Some of you have experienced this personally. You’ve been rejected by family, friends, or a boss because you are simply “too old.”
2. “Your sons are wicked.”
2. “Your sons are wicked.”
Here’s reason two in vv. 5 - “…and your sons do not walk in your ways.”
Now Samuel was a godly man! One of the godliest men to ever live. But his children weren’t the same way. His children’s names were Joel and Abijah.
The Bible tells us that their sin was accepting bribes and perverting justice.
Also, according to the Bible, Samuel knew of his son’s problems but didn’t properly discipline them.
Now the people of Israel weren’t necessarily wrong for not wanting Samuel’s sons to judge them. But I don’t believe Samuel’s son sins disqualified him from continuing to lead Israel into the near future.
I believe the same thing for a pastor or leader in a church who have children that walk away from the faith and do evil things - that child, who is now an adult, is responsible for their own walk and sins. It is not held against their parents.
Samuel is still qualified to be a judge, but not his sons.
3. “We want to be like everyone else.”
3. “We want to be like everyone else.”
Here was where the rubber meets the road.
They just wanted something different from what they had.
We want what everyone else has! We want to be like everyone else! How many times have we heard that in life?
And Samuel adequately warns them in vv. 10-18 of all the consequences of having a human king.
But they won’t listen. They are determined to reject Samuel and his bloodline and do something different.
Three Steps to take to help face rejection:
1. Pray to the Lord because He knows the pain of rejection. (vv. 6-9)
1. Pray to the Lord because He knows the pain of rejection. (vv. 6-9)
6 When they said, “Give us a king to judge us,” Samuel considered their demand wrong, so he prayed to the Lord. 7 But the Lord told him, “Listen to the people and everything they say to you. They have not rejected you; they have rejected me as their king. 8 They are doing the same thing to you that they have done to me, since the day I brought them out of Egypt until this day, abandoning me and worshiping other gods. 9 Listen to them, but solemnly warn them and tell them about the customary rights of the king who will reign over them.”
I want you to notice what Samuel did the very first second they rejected him. He didn’t gossip. He didn’t put up a mad social media post. He went right to the One who would understand…God.
And I am sure Samuel told God all that was on his heart. “Lord they have rejected me. Lord, I have done so much for them. Lord, I have given them my entire life. Lord, it’s not fair.”
And the saddest part of this entire story is God’s response - “Don’t be upset Samuel, they have not rejected you, they have rejected me.”
God understands the pain of rejection. God has emotions, God can understand and feel pain.
There are very few pages in the Bible you won’t find the people rejecting God on.
How about we start in Genesis 3? God created a perfect Garden for humanity - and what did we do? We rejected His gift.
Then we could go over page after page of mankind’s rejection of God. If you are reading along in the Bible plan with us - you have seen some of this. Man’s rejection of God’s command to scatter and fill the earth - Tower of Babel.
And then we get to Jesus.
He was prophesied he would be rejected. Isaiah 53:3
3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of suffering who knew what sickness was.
He was like someone people turned away from;
he was despised, and we didn’t value him.
1 He left there and came to his hometown, and his disciples followed him. 2 When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished. “Where did this man get these things?” they said. “What is this wisdom that has been given to him, and how are these miracles performed by his hands? 3 Isn’t this the carpenter, the son of Mary, and the brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon? And aren’t his sisters here with us?” So they were offended by him.
4 Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown, among his relatives, and in his household.” 5 He was not able to do a miracle there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6 And he was amazed at their unbelief. He was going around the villages teaching.
God can be your solace. He knows the pain of rejection, He has felt it Himself.
2. Think of rejection as redirection.
2. Think of rejection as redirection.
Reframe your whole mindset.
God wasn’t done with Samuel. Samuel needed to reframe his rejection. Instead of rejection think of it as “redirection.”
God was “redirecting” Samuel to another job, one that would he would be known for throughout history. He would get to anoint the first and second Kings of Israel - Saul and King David.
When you are rejected, try to think of it as God allowing you to redirect your focus in a different way.
There’a perfect example of this from history:
Lost job in 1832.
Defeated for state legislature in 1832.
Failed in business in 1833.
Elected to state legislature in 1834.
Sweetheart died in 1835.
Had nervous breakdown in 1836.
Defeated for Speaker in 1838.
Defeated for nomination for Congress in 1843.
Elected to Congress in 1846.
Lost renomination in 1848.
Rejected for land officer in 1849.
Defeated for U.S. Senate in 1854.
Defeated for nomination for Vice President in 1856.
Again defeated for U.S. Senate in 1858.
Elected President in 1860.
Abraham Lincoln saw rejection as a redirection instead of giving up.
By the way did you know Michael Jordan was rejected from basketball in high school? He was rejected his sophomore year because he was only 5’11”.
You know what he did? He redirected and chose to push himself. He worked so hard he even added 4 inches to his height by the end of the year.
Did you know Steve Jobs was rejected by his own company? He redirected and now we have Apple.
3. Make restitution (if needed).
3. Make restitution (if needed).
1 Then Samuel said to all Israel, “I have carefully listened to everything you said to me and placed a king over you. 2 Now you can see that the king is leading you. As for me, I’m old and gray, and my sons are here with you. I have led you from my youth until now. 3 Here I am. Bring charges against me before the Lord and his anointed: Whose ox or donkey have I taken? Who have I wronged or mistreated? Who gave me a bribe to overlook something? I will return it to you.”
I hate confrontation. Samuel confronts the entire children of Israel. “Tell me if I’ve done something wrong, I’ll pay it back.”
This is a great thing to do any time you are rejected. Make sure you aren’t actually the reason you were rejected. The reason you may have been rejected is because you have done something. If so, make restitution quickly. That’s what Samuel does.
And guess how Samuel ends his speech on being rejected? Right back where he started.
23 “As for me, I vow that I will not sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you. I will teach you the good and right way.
As we close, the key to rejection is to find acceptance. And there is a God whom will give you acceptance and never reject you again.
As people PUSH US OUT, GOD PULLS US IN.
“I have learned to kiss the waves that throw me up against the Rock of Ages.” - Charles Spurgeon
You see God doesn’t desire you to live in rejection. He wants you to know about His acceptance. Satan is the one who wants you isolated. Satan wants you to feel alone.
Let these words comfort you today:
31 What, then, are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? 32 He did not even spare his own Son but gave him up for us all. How will he not also with him grant us everything? 33 Who can bring an accusation against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies. 34 Who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is the one who died, but even more, has been raised; he also is at the right hand of God and intercedes for us. 35 Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
Because of you
we are being put to death all day long;
we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered.
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.