The Art of Seeking, Part 6
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Seeking the Heavenly in Marriage - Part 1
Colossians 3:18-19 .
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Paul addressed this quite robustly in Ephesians 5:18-33. Based on Colossians 4:16, we can postulate that Paul’s letters were being read in the churches. It is very likely the Colossae church had access to the letter to the Ephesians.
Paul wrote these letters from Rome at about the same time. Ephesus is a two-day walk from Colossae. Therefore, let’s use the two verses in Colossians 3:18-19 to launch us into the discussion of Seeking the Heavenly in Marriage through mutual submission and love, by studying Ephesians 5:18-33.
18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,
19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,
20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
30 because we are members of his body.
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:18-33 can be divided into three sections.
The first section is Eph. 5:18-21, the conduct of everyone in the church.
The second section is Eph. 5:22-24, the conduct of a wife in marriage, having her conduct supplied from the verb in Eph. 5:21. This conduct is modeled after the church’s relationship to Christ.
The third section is Ephesians 5:25-33, the conduct of a husband in marriage, modeled after Christ’s relationship to the church.
What is the conduct of the church that seeks the heavenly, where Christ is?
This conduct is not much different than what we have been covering in Colossians 3.
There are four codes of conduct for everyone who seeks the heavenly where Christ is.
First, everyone is not to get drunk, but be filled with the Spirit (Eph. 5:18).
Second, everyone is to speak to one another in spiritual psalms, hymns, and songs with a melody in their heart to God (Eph. 5:19).
Third, everyone is to give thanks in all things to God (Eph. 5:20).
Fourth, everyone is to submit to each other out of respect for Christ (Eph. 5:21).
The fourth conduct of everyone submitting to each other is what Paul uses to introduce the wife’s conduct of submission to seeking the heavenly in marriage.
In the Greek, the manuscript would read like this - “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ, wives to your husbands as to the Lord.” The translators provide the word “submit” in in our English translation for clarity.
The problem is, submission is often misapplied to wives only, when the reality is, submission applies to all of us, which Paul was emphasizing when he made the phrases dependent on each other.
Submission, then, is a code of conduct for all Christians to seek the heavenly where Christ is. This, of course, includes both wives and husbands.
Christ himself models submission for us. Think of Matthew 26:39 and Philippians 2:5-8
5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,
7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.
8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Submission has a bad rap because it is very vulnerable to abuse by those who sin. We often want to use this as a reason for not submitting.
Paul is aware of this and that is why, in Colossians and Ephesians, he makes it clear that our motivation of submission is not the husband, nor is it our brothers and sisters. It is our relationship with the Lord.
Jesus continues to model this for us as seen in 1 Peter 2:21-23.
21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.
22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.
23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.
Submission requires a trust in God who judges justly. He will call into account all injustice.
Does this mean we blindly submit to each other, or wives blindly submit to their husbands, letting God work it out in the cross or his second coming?
Thankfully, no. Paul is not calling us to unconditional submission, for he say in Philippians 1:27-28
27 Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel,
28 and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God.
Our submission is not blind. Our submission is to be in line with the ethics of the Gospel. We are to submit to one another in righteousness and love. Therefore, we cannot submit if our submission perpetuates sin or enables it.
1 Peter 1:14-16 clearly states
14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance,
15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,
16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”
This week we discussed the art of seeking the heavenly in marriage through submission to each other and wives to their husbands.
Next week we will discuss the art of seeking the heavenly in marriage through love modeled by Christ.
Go now, submitting to one another in righteousness and love.
