Servants not Kings
Messy Christmas • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Over the last few weeks...
We’ve heard sermons on bitterness/resentment, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
So…we solved it all. and now we will have no more problems.
Yeah…right.
I want to try to wrap up our messy Christmas series…by doing a couple things:
What do we do next—if you are here and you think, “I understand what you are saying, but it is so hard and so complicated…how can I go about applying these principles of forgiveness and reconciliation, especially if the situation is complicated and difficult.” I feel stuck what do I do? So we will tackle that first.
and then we will end by looking at Matthew 18:21-35 which wraps up our series nicely. and will apply the Gospel.
Let me pray…would you pray with me?
What do we do next…especially if forgiveness is hard…some practical tips.
If you are having a hard time forgiving…and/or reconciling, 5 practical tips:
5 tips if you are stuck:
Cry out to God with real and raw honesty. (Psalm 13, 69)
and our example here is the entire book of Psalms in the OT. there are so many types of psalms—and one of the most common are what are called Psalms of Lament. honest, raw, and real—bringing these things… (Bible plans should have Psalms in them)
b/c God already knows them
He can take them
and it reminds us He is the Lord of the universe.
look at one example…from King David
1 How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
look at honest that is—questioning God, talking about his feelings, talking about his enemy...
but in your honesty—the key is you are bringing it to God
look at another Psalm that makes us pretty uncomfortable. Psalm 69 talks a lot about enemies. Look what Psalm 69 prays
24 Pour out your wrath on them; let your fierce anger overtake them.
25 May their place be deserted; let there be no one to dwell in their tents.
26 For they persecute those you wound and talk about the pain of those you hurt.
27 Charge them with crime upon crime; do not let them share in your salvation.
28 May they be blotted out of the book of life and not be listed with the righteous.
that’s pretty fierce language—and it makes us uncomfortable...but the key is you are bringing it to God. you are asking God to bring righteousness, justice, and forgiveness, too. you are putting the situation in God’s hands. who is the perfect king of justice.
if you are struggling to forgive—be honest with God.
Pray for the offender. (Matthew 5:43-44)
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’
44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
while point #1—was is incredibly honest, this is actually trying to pray good things for the person.
even God gives good things to those who don’t follow him—like the sun and rain.
it’s hard to stay mad at someone you are praying for.
Try to discern if the offender sinned or didn’t meet your expectations.
I find this sometimes with myself and others.
we may be mad at someone—but was it because they actually sinned?
or did they just not meet your expectations—and the expectations were not communicated.
even during holiday gatherings, there can be a lot of expectations of… “I thought you were going to bring dessert...” “I though we all were going to get each other gifts.” we have to be crystal clear in our communication.
it’s possible that it wasn’t sin—just bad communication. and that can be fixed with better communication in the future.
Realize forgiveness is a form of suffering.
what do I mean—to forgive is painful. it is dying to the desire to want to get even, or dying to the desire to take it out more on the person whether actively or passively.
but unforgiveness is also painful, if not more.
both are painful.
forgiveness feels painful at the time—because it seems like they are getting off the hook. but remember—you are putting them on God’s hook. It is painful—it took Jesus’ death, blood, sweat, tears, nails to forgive us. It will be painful. BUT...
only forgiveness can lead to a true resurrection in your soul and true freedom. if you are not forgiving someone you are in bondage....
Focus on the Gospel of Jesus Christ… and this will take me to Matthew 18:21-35.
Please turn to Matthew 18.21-35.
one thing I noticed about this passage on forgiveness—this parable…is that Jesus talks a lot about relationships in Matthew 18 just prior…
on becoming like little children to enter the kingdom of heaven
not causing others to stumble...
going after the lost sheep
confronting sin in others
and now this...
please stand—this is a good review of our teaching...
from the parable - Matthew 18:21-35
Matthew 18:21–35 (NIV)
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (or yours may say 70 times 7 = 490 times)
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. (Yours may use the unit talents...
25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’
27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’
34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
incredible teaching from Jesus.
a servant owed his master so much money—hundreds of millions of dollars.
the master incredibly released him from the debt.
but when this servant had another fellow servant owe him money, a much smaller amount—he did not...
what do we learn about forgiveness here....good review
4 steps in forgiveness and reconciliation from Tim Keller’s Forgive:
Name the trespass and offense—be honest (vs. 24-25)
24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him.
25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
forgiveness and reconciliation start with telling the truth about the situation and the offense. not sweeping it under the rug or ignoring it. the king had brought the man in to expose him, confront, and pursue justice.
forgiveness does not mean we don’t pursue justice. forgiveness and reconciliation is concerned with both grace and truth.
so be honest with how you were hurt before God, yourself, and the other person.
Identify with the offender - “have pity on them” (vs. 27)
27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
this is a strong word to have pity. Jesus had this kind of pity on the crowd—it’s like his guts and bowels were filled with compassion.
this is hard—but all forgiveness and reconciliation require compassion. it requires understanding the other person’s situation and trying to see yourself in their shoes—identifying with them as a real human. “There go I only by the grace of God.”
Absorb the debt rather than make them pay “canceled the debt” (vs. 27)
27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
this is the heart of forgiveness. when the king cancels the debt, he is absorbing it and paying it himself.
NT word for forgive—most common is this idea of canceling debts.
because when we are hurt—someone always has to pay. either they pay—and we make them pay, or we absorb the debt and pay.
this is hard! it’s much easier to hold a grudge, make them pay—stay angry—give them what we think they deserve. but if you continue in that state, it will eat you alive, and make you a bitter person, not better. but if you grant forgiveness over time—though it’s painful and is filled with suffering---that leads to freedom.
If possible, pursue reconciliation with the offender (vs. 27)
27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
“let him go.”
the king allowed the servant to return to his position and post. the relationship was at least restored to the level it was before. now, you may have lots of questions about this...
but I think when we forgive, we see all these principles at work...
Naming it—telling the truth.
identify with the person—having compassion
absorbing the debt rather than making them pay
pursuing reconciliation.
now, we could talk about practical tips for each step, and FAQ’s—on how to do this.
but honestly—I think this parable in Matthew 18—teaches a bigger point that helps with all of it—that if you get this big point—you will be have the power to forgive.
What is that point:
*Forgiven people forgive.*
Here is another one:
Not forgiving leads to putting ourselves in jail.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
it’s not that our forgiveness of others earns God’s forgiveness…we don’t earn or work for it…
but if we really have received God’s amazing forgiveness through Jesus Christ—if we really realize what we have been forgiven of—our sin—and brought into—adopted into God’s family..
if we really understand that when we believe in Jesus—our sin is put on Him—His righteousness is put on us…it’s incredible…then that melts our heart to forgive.
because what if God had the same attitude towards us that we often have towards those who offense us…where would we be?
what if God said, “I am not going to initiate reconciliation. They started it..where would we be?”
I want to think about the Gospel and forgiveness by talking about a woman named Rachael Denhollander and her story.
I first heard this story in the book Forgive by Timothy Keller.
If her name sounds familiar, it’s because she made headlines in 2018…when she was the fist woman to go public with reports of being abused by USA gymnastics physician Larry Nassar.
She went public and this led to hundreds of other women who were treated by Nassar to go public with their own stories of abuse and assault.
she writes in her memoir “What is a Girl Worth” that she wanted to forgive Larry Nassar but didn’t want her forgiveness to be used as an excuse to act as if something terrible wasn’t really that bad.
she admits she considered removing God from the picture in all this…but she says removing God from the picture only made it worse. if I didn’t have God, I had no way to define evil, or even justice for that matter.
so in 2018, her and her husband presented a paper at the Evangelical Theological Society entitled “Justice: The Foundation of a Christian Approach to Abuse.”
in it, she confronts Christians and organizations for not always doing the right thing—for protecting abusers, covering up scandals, etc. sometimes it’s intentional—sometimes it’s poor theology and misinformation.
so they wrote a paper saying how the gospel and the classic doctrine of the substitutionary atonement helps us. (substitutionary atonement)
how on the cross, Jesus was our substitute in our place. He took the punishment for our sins—He took what we deserved so we could be atoned or at one before God.
*How the Cross Helps:
She said she learned 4 things:
1. she said “a victim’s sense of injustice…is upheld at the cross.” (in other words, injustice and unrighteousness are real and God hates them. The cross of Jesus Christ show this.
God is committed to justice. Jesus bore the divine wrath against sin. talking about God’s wrath makes us uncomfortable—but for a victim is can be empowering. for oppressed peoples it is encouraging that God gets angry at injustice-and we see it most at the cross.
this should motivate us to pursue justice on earth—
but remember—she says--justice on this earth will always disappoint at some level—courts and the legal system are not perfect. but we can rest in a perfect God.
2. second she says— “the cross shows God is committed to BOTH justice and forgiveness.”
“When Jesus died on the cross, it meant that in a single stroke justice was done on sin and the door for forgiveness opened. the cross is the intersection of justice and mercy. justice and grace.”
The Denhollanders write: “A banker cannot be said to have forgiven a loan if a third party pays the loan on behalf of another; however, when the banker himself pays the loan on behalf of another, this is both satisfaction [of justice] and forgiveness [in a single stroke].”[21]
God is that banker who paid the loan himself—in his Son Jesus Christ.
At the cross, “the reality of evil and need for justice is upheld. Either divine punishment will be meted out on the individual who has done the wrong, or it is taken up by God upon himself.”[22]
third, (the example of God at) the cross inverts power dynamics at play in oppression and abuse.
Here is how Rachel says it: The devastating impact of abuse, in large part, is due to the fact that abuse upends the concepts necessary to function as a relational person. Abusers[23] frequently use grooming techniques, utilizing gifts, innocent touch, or manifestations of kindness to condition a victim and prepare them for abuse. More often than not, perpetrators are individuals who are perceived as safe and trustworthy, or even believed to be sacrificially caring for the victim. Concepts of trust, safety, security, love, compassion and care are all twisted by a perpetrator and wielded like weapons to facilitate violation at the deepest level.
Every concept we as humans rely on to have healthy relationships with each other, becomes distorted and unsafe—redefined to be tools used to facilitate harm. In fact, the reason most abusers engage in sexual abuse is not simply about sexual release; they enjoy the imbalance in power and control that they are able to demonstrate. It is critical that survivors are able to define, understand, and relearn these foundational concepts. Failure to recognize harmful abuse and manipulation of power can lead to survivors continually reentering abusive relationships, at times becoming abusers themselves, and nearly always being unable to interact relationally with the world around them.
The cross stands in stark opposition to the behavior of an abuser, providing the ultimate example of each of these concepts that abuse destroys. In the incarnation, at the cross, the Son sets aside his divine prerogatives—the strong becomes weak. . . . At the cross, God acts for others—to overcome evil, uphold justice, free the enslaved, and restore creation. God himself perfectly identifies with the victim because he himself has willingly subjected himself to injustice. The cross is the ultimate repudiation (REJECTION) of the idea that power is to be wielded for the benefit and pleasure of those who possess it. In the cross, victims have the framework and foundation for beginning to properly define and understand concepts which were twisted, subverted and manipulated during their abuse, and begin to heal the damage which was done.[24]
finally, the only possibility for healed relationships is if we pursue justice and forgiveness together, using the model of the cross.
the cross shows our own needs for forgiveness, and that makes it easier to extend it to others. this humbling helps us from exacting vengeance. to actually forgive and pursue appropriate justice.
on the other hand, it helps us confront in justice—because we want to see the offender changed and see their sin before God and not cause any more injustice to others. we want them to take it seriously just like God takes sin seriously. this helps them change before God, protects future victims, and helps them to truly change when they see before God how serious their offense is.
Rachel in the courtroom when testyifing against Larry Nassar said this: (I would actually encourage you at some point to google her closing statement to Larry Nassar—it is a little graphic, but every parent should read this or anyone struggling to forgive someone should read it.) (PUT HER NAME UP THERE)
Rachel looked at Larry Nassar her abuser and said this: “I pray you experience the soul-crushing weight of guilt so that you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God, which you need far more than forgiveness from me, though I extend that to you as well.[27]”
I want to call up the praise team...
THE CROSS…upholds both justice and mercy. it truly takes sin seriously and enables forgiveness to happen.
If we go back to Matthew 18…the parable of the king who forgave a servant....
this parable in Matthew 18 doesn’t explain how the king could forgive the servant of his huge debt…but we know from the rest of Scripture that the king paid for it by giving up his very life.
You see, when you and I are struggling to forgive—we go from servants to being kings. we put ourselves in the place of God, as a king, judging fellow human beings. we forget that we are on the same level playing field before all…all of us are servants.
and this is what’s amazing about Jesus. though being king…he became a servant....
5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!
if we want to forgive—we need to look at the king—Jesus Christ—who became a servant on our behalf, so we could truly forgive, be free, and reconcile.
we are servants not kings.
Let’s pray.
final plug?
Christmas decoration tear down....
read Philippians 2:5-8
5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!
