Dealing with Life’s Disappointments

Psalm 42:5 ESV

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation

Introduction

We all experience disappointment in some way

Examples:

You lost your job and you and your family were dependent on that income

You were hoping for that promotion but they passed you over and chose someone else

Someone stole all your equipment and that’s how you paid the bills

Someone made a promise to you but they didn’t keep their word, AGAIN

Your soulmate ran off with another

The love of your life died and left you alone

Disappointments come in many ways and… It hurts!

Gordon MacDonald writes: (pastor, author, chancellor of Denver seminary)

I heard of a television interview with a balloonist who was grounded by the weather at a national ballooning festival. When asked if he was disappointed, he said, "I would rather be on the ground wishing I was in the air, than be in the air wishing I was on the ground."

It’s important that we keep things in perspective.

Lets look at what disappointment is, what it causes, and how we are to deal with it.

Defining Disappointment

a. Disappointment is: sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations

That sounds so formal so lets try to break it down

Dis means the reverse of something

Appointment is an alignment of schedules

It could be said that disappointment is an undoing or reversing of an appointment

an appointment is “the sending forth of plans, efforts and organization to see something come to pass.” (Tim Hill)

b. Disappointment comes from the undoing of an appointment or dream, goal, ambition, and energies.

Consider some examples:

You pick out the wedding date, make all the necessary arrangements and on the morning of your wedding, your fiancee changes their mind. - Disappointment

You go to the doctor for a routine check up and the bloodwork shows cancer. - Disappointment

You find out your going to be a mother and father for the first time. You pick out baby names, decorate a room, buy a crib. You aren’t feeling well and the doctor’s visit shows there is no heartbeat. - Disappointment

What you had planned - your appointment was undone - expectations were failed to be met - That is disappointment

Detecting Disappointment

I want to look at three major areas of disappointment

a. Disappointment in Others

Somewhere along the way, someone has disappointed you. They just did not live up to the expectations.

Maybe it was an employee, maybe it was an employer

Maybe it was a girlfriend or boyfriend or worse yet, your spouse

Maybe it was a pastor or other leader

Lets look at Paul’s disappointments with others:

Acts 15:36–39 “After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus.”

Mark walked out but Barnabas wanted to take him with them

Galatians 3:1 “Oh, foolish Galatians! Who has cast an evil spell on you? For the meaning of Jesus Christ’s death was made as clear to you as if you had seen a picture of his death on the cross.”

His disappointment is very evident in his letter

2 Timothy 4:10 “Demas has deserted me because he loves the things of this life and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus has gone to Dalmatia.”

Let down again!

Jesus faced disappointment too!

He wanted his closest friends to pray with him in the garden of Gethsemane before his crucifixion, but all they could do is sleep.

Matthew 26:36–46 “Then Jesus went with them to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and he said, “Sit here while I go over there to pray.” He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James and John, and he became anguished and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Then he returned to the disciples and found them asleep. He said to Peter, “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!” Then Jesus left them a second time and prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done.” When he returned to them again, he found them sleeping, for they couldn’t keep their eyes open. So he went to pray a thi…”

He hurt for Jerusalem because of their condition, but they would not receive Him.

Matthew 23:37 ““O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God’s messengers! How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let me.”

b. Disappointment in Yourself

It is a very difficult thing when you are disappointment in yourself.

David was disappointed in himself when he realized his sin.

Peter was disappointed in himself when he realized his sin.

Luke 22:60–61 “But Peter said, “Man, I don’t know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Suddenly, the Lord’s words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.””

Thomas was disappointed in himself when he realized his sin.

It is difficult to face the fact that you may not be what God wants you to be.

We get disappointed when our expectations don’t line up with God.

One might say, “Just lower your expectations and you won’t be disappointed.” That sounds like a trick of the enemy to me.

Some people experience a mid-life crisis when they discover they are not where they had hoped to be in life

Some people avoid school reunions because they are disappointed with what they have done with their lives

c. Disappointment in God

It might be hard for you to admit but some of you are disappointed with God.

You prayed and prayed and it did not turn out like you had planned.

You may be thinking it was God’s fault

You may be thinking He did not hear your prayer or just didn’t care

Dealing with Disappointment

There are some things that we need to get straight when it comes to disappointment with others, ourselves and with God.

Here are some valuable principles:

Everyone doesn’t work on your agenda.

Believe it or not, the world does not revolve around you.

You may be disappointed because others are dealing with something different than the way you would

2. There are different strokes for different folks.

You may be disappointed because you can’t make people see things the way you do.

3. Everyone has his own unique vantage point or filters.

How you see it may not be like someone else sees it

God has a vantage point unlike any of us

Isaiah 55:8 ““My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”

If you stood on top of Brasstown Bald, you could see Georgia, Tennessee and North Carolina

Here are some keys to overcoming disappointment

1. Disappointments are only delays.

Your setback isn’t final

Don’t give up dreaming

Enjoy today while it is today, tomorrow will have tomorrow’s blessings

2. Disappointment is a good teacher.

Ask God to show you what the lesson is in this.

3. Disappointment can cause you to make adjustments.

There is a term called “disequilibrium” and many believe that it is the only way that change can come.

You have to be thrown off balance so to say for any change to come.

Disappointment can give you the opportunity to get out of old ruts and routines.

4. Disappointments are indicators.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. has been quoted as saying” The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of convenience and comfort, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy.”

Your reaction to disappointment may let you know something about the kind of person you are.

5. Disappointments are necessary.

You cannot fully develop without facing disappointments.

They teach you that there are problems and their are solutions.

Conclusion: What am I supposed to do?

Make things right with people

Matthew 18:15-17 lays out God’s plan to do that.

Matthew 18:15–17 ““If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”

2. Make things right with yourself

confess the sin that you have been holding on to

allow God to fix what is going on in your life

stop following your own plan and let the Holy Spirit be the guide in your life

3. Make things right with God

1 John 1:9 “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

Put your trust in God for His timing and His provision

He sees things far clearer than any of us do

Where do you find yourself today?

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