Ephesians 5:22-33 Study

Verses 22-24

Introduction

This passage is one of the most important passages of Scripture, especially regarding marriage, and yet one of the most controversial.

It is important to note that Paul is talking to the church, therefore believers, and he wants the church to be impactful on the individual and familial level. The reality is that the church is made up of families; husbands, wives, and children. Therefore, it is imperative that families know how to operate in a godly manner.

So this is Paul honing in on families and how they can be living full of the Spirit.

Ephesians 5:22–23 CSB

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body.

Submission

Thus begins the “controversy.” Truly, this should not be controversial, but our culture is all about emphasizing the individual, especially racial and gender minorities. That being said, this is seen as a totalitarian, bigoted, and toxic command. Why can’t men submit to women? Aren’t men and women equal? Can’t women lead to? This opens all sorts of questions that the average American in 2025 would ask.

Submission is not an evil act. It is not suppressive. It is not devaluing. It is not an act of weakness. This is what our culture has convinced us. Rather, submission is an act of love. In fact, Paul tells all believers in the church to submit to one another in the fear of Christ in verse 21. We must change the way we view this word “submit” from an act of violence to an act of love. Submission is a part of being a godly person.

The Role of the Wife

Women and men are different; therefore, their roles in marriage are going to be different. They both have different, sometimes opposite, strengths and weaknesses. The point is that the husband and the wife compliment one another’s strengths and weaknesses.

When God made woman, He pointed out Adam’s need for an ezer.

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 2

18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.”

This is how God introduces the creation of the woman: she is created to be a helper to the man. Once again, this is not a role of lesser value, but it is simply a different role. As we will see, the man’s role he is given is to lead. And so the woman’s role is of submitting and helping.

Paul likens the submission of the wife to her husband to the submission of the wife to her God. This is because God commands believers to submit to all those in authority over us as He is the one who placed them there. This means that the wife needs to trust that God is leading her husband as he leads their family. This submission is even in the times of failures on the leader’s part.

This doesn’t mean that if a husband is abusive to his wife, they must submit and deal with it. Here is an important reality about submission: the bible does not encourage us to force others to submit to us. No husband is justified in abusing his family for the sake of submission, or even just even. We will see that husbands are commanded to love their wives. This does not mean abuse, obviously.

The Head

Paul calls the husband the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. What does it mean to be the head? There is a lot of discussion on this word “head”, or kelaphe. The example Paul gives in this verse is Jesus being the head of the church. But this opens up more questions: is the wife then supposed to worship the husband? Is the husband supposed to be the central of the wife’s life? You could ask even more! However, some try to argue that this word kelaphe is referring to source than authority. One pastor goes even further to argue that it does mean authority, but not in the traditional definition of authority. Rather a redefined version of it. What is the case? Let me present both arguments, tell you my thoughts, and ultimately let you decide what you think.

“Source” Reasoning

The argument for “source” it not necessarily a straightforward one. In fact, it requires you read the text and say “This must not mean exactly what it says.” One progressive professing Christian, Linda Belleville says in a book she contributed to “Two Views on Women in Ministry,” Paul’s four references to Christ as kephale of His church without a doubt mean “source.” She says Paul’s reference to Genesis 2 in this passage is unmistakable.

Philip Payne argues similarly. [T]he husband, in that culture, was the source of life for his wife since he provided all that was essential for her to live.

Those on this side of the argument say this for a few different reasons. And these reasons I am pulling from Preston Sprinkle’s article on the topic where discusses all of the views on this topic and presents his own.

“‘Source is better established as a meaning for ‘head’ in Hellensitic Greek than ‘leader’ or ‘authority.’”

In other words, using “source” in their culture would often mean “source.” However, this is not true and was used in authority sense more often than not.

“Christ’s role as ‘Savior of the body’ is parallel to His role as ‘head.’ ‘Head’ is defined by Jesus’s role as Savior (not Lord or leader).

Why should Jesus’s sacrifice lack any authority? I disagree with this.

“Paul clearly uses kephalē in a head/body metaphor to mean “source” in Ephesians 4:15. Therefore, he’s most likely doing the same here in Ephesians 5:23.”

The issue is that the “head” of our bodies as complete authority over the rest of our bodies. My arms only work when my brain is able to tell them what to do. This carries authority which cannot be avoided.

You may think, “Why does this matter?” The answer is that your interpretation will influence your application of these verses. Those, like Belleville, seek to remove authority from the discussion and, rather, set husband and wife in almost the same position. They don’t want to affirm any authority of one over another, namely the man over the woman.

“Authority” Reasoning

Typically, the safest way to interpret Scripture is at its face. If Paul says “husbands are the head of their wives,” and tells wives to submit to their husbands, why muddy the water more? This is clearly referring to authority; so let it be that.

However, when others are arguing for something else, then it is still good to ask “What do these words mean?” And so I am referring to Kent Hughes commentary on the meaning of this word where he references other smart guys too!

Ephesians—The Mystery of the Body of Christ The Rationale for Submission (v. 23)

Dr. Wayne Grudem, in a careful study of 2,336 instances of kephale from classical Greek literature — all the non-classical references from Philo, Josephus, the Apostolic Fathers, the Epistle of Aristias, the Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs and Aquila, Symmachus, and Theodocian, says, “No instances were discovered in which kephale had the meaning ‘source, origin.’”

Then continuing on to his thoughts on this word kelaphe and what it means:

Ephesians—The Mystery of the Body of Christ The Rationale for Submission (v. 23)

Verse 23 says Christ is the Savior of the Church, of which he is Head, and thus follows by analogy the conclusion that the husband is to exercise his headship with a Savior-style servant-leadership. He must lead with the kind of love that is willing to die. Jesus said, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45, NASB). And again he said, “Let him who is the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as the servant” (Luke 22:26, NASB).

God help the man who thinks his headship is a license for dominance or lordship. Headship has definite limits. It can never command what God forbids or forbid what God commands. It can never be used selfishly. The Haustafel enjoins reciprocal duties. Husbands are to love their wives, parents are to care for their children, masters are to treat their slaves well. There is no room for tyranny

This is the interpretation I carry for this word. I believe it is biblical and right. As Hughes points out, this does not neglect servant-leadership style that Christ displays. Husbands must be willing to die for their wives—die in a physical sense and in a comfort sense. You lead by serving and sacrificing, but lead nonetheless. There is authority in this role. It is needed for marriage. This is shown even moreso in the next verse:

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 5

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.

Once again, the understanding here, as will be discussed more, is that the husband is submitting to Christ and so the wife is ultimately trusting God who placed this husband over her. There is a lot of trust in marriage and it is needed.

Verses 25-30

The Role of the Husband

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 5

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.

Now the husband, who has already been ascribed authority in the marriage, is commanded to love his wife. The husband’s example is, once again, Christ. How did Christ love His bride, the church? [He] gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the Word. Husbands are never called to be domineering or forcing their wives to submit or anything of the sorts. They are called to love their wives. When their wives are being weak, when she isn’t submitting, when she isn’t pursuing God, when she’s going through hard times, when she is doing better than the husband—love her. Sacrifice for her. Put yourself on the back burner for her sake.

A specific way Paul gives that Christ loved His bride is cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. The Lord washes, cleanses, His church with His Holy Word. Husbands are supposed to be taking that same role for their wives and kids—washing them in God’s Word, thus leading to their sanctification and holiness. A husband who is not washing his wife in the Word is not loving his wife.

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 5

27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless

Christ’s ambition for the church was/is to present us to Himself, in the end, complete, holy, perfect, without any spot or blemish. Blameless. Obviously, husbands cannot make their wives perfect, but they should hold their wives, and themselves, to the perfect standard of Christ. They are wrong to excuse sin flaws and blemishes. Christ sought to make the church perfect. Don’t you want the same for your wife? Once again, though, this only occurs in the washing of your wife in the Word; this only occurs in loving her well.

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 5

28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of his body.

Paul expounds further on what it looks like for the husband to love his wife: to love her as he loves his own body. This is quite great. This is going above and beyond in order to love her well. Providing for your wife—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This is to care for her—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This love is significant. It is self-sacrificial. It is immense. It is faithful. It is gentle. It is kind. It is patient. Do not miss this.

Verses 31-33

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 5

31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh., 32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband

Now to close this section on marriages, Paul points back to some source material on why he is teaching this way: Genesis. The husband should leave his parents and cling to his wife, the two becoming one. This is a building block that the Lord placed in the very beginning of creation itself. But then Paul exposes the truth around this entire view of marriage: This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Marriage between a husband and wife is modeled after the union of Jesus Christ and His Bride the Church. He is the ultimate model of the husband. The Church is the ultimate model of the bride. This is the gospel. It impacts and influences every single aspect of the christian life.

He then sums up the role of the husband and the wife in fewer words:

Husband—love your wife as yourself.

Bride—respect your husband.

These are the commands for each of them. These commands come with great weight. The husband is told in 1 Peter that his prayers will be hindered if he is not gentle with his wife. The wife is also told in that passage that her husband can be corrected back to Christ due to her actions. When she is gentle and modest and respectful in the midst of his failures, this may bring him back to the Lord.