Soul Care-Myths

Intro:

Review the We over Me

Explain why Soul Care- empty people have nothing to give each other

Soul Care:

How Full Do You Feel?

The key question for each of us to consider is, How full do you feel right now?

Fullness of- purpose, energy, motivation, peace, joy, creativity, strength, hope and connection

Maybe it is easier for us to answer this question by considering the opposing question, How empty do you feel?

Emptiness is- overwhelmed, lack of motivation, low energy, fatigued, depression or anxiety, loneliness, hopelessness, apathy, tiredness and cynical

On a sliding scale of fullness with 10 being full and 1 being empty, how full do you feel right now

Jesus Calls us to live full:

John 10:10 NIV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

the contrast to living full is living empty and that is our enemy Satan tries to do

steal/empty us of our resources, time, energy, motivation, purpose and joy

Jesus came to give us “fullness” of life

In the context of our theme this year WE/me we have to recognize that individually our level of impact has a direct correlation with our level of fullness

Empty people can’t pour out because they have nothing left to give

That is why it is helpful for us to take inventory of where each of us is at, to learn how to recognize the signs that we’re getting empty, to know what makes us empty and what fills our souls again

Maybe you’ve never learned how to care for your soul, learned how to “fill” up

Maybe their is a correlation between you choice of when to fill up the gas tank and when we fill our own soul tanks

Jesus though he was fully God, was also fully man and he understood the limitations of his human body

He seemed to be aware of the fact that his body had a capacity and was intentional about staying filled so that he could pour out into the people God had called him to fill

He did this through what Debra Fileta observes as 6 rhythms:

Nourish

Rest

Connection

Protect

Savor

Tune In

That word capacity is an important one for us to think about

Human beings are finite. We have limits, confines and capabilities and when we start to exceed our capacity we start to feel it

The hope is that over the next few months that we would discover/learn ways of filling up, so that we can keep pouring effectively and indefinitely into those whom God has called us to pour into: our spouses, children, families, friends, communities, ministry and this church

Empty people can’t pour out because they have nothing left to give

Assessing Our Beliefs

Self care vs. Soul Care

In order to effectively move forward and learn from the rhythms that Jesus modelled in his life we need to process some some of the myths or negative views or unhealthy beliefs we might have around this topic

Christians can be bad at caring for themselves- why?

Deep down we believe that caring for ourselves is wrong- even anti-biblical or sinful

There are a number of beliefs that are underlying this belief that caring for ones self is wrong

In being taught that we are to be caring for others, we have assumed of concluded or even been directly taught that that automatically means not caring for ourselves

There is a tension here that we haven’t managed well

Scripture is clear that we aren’t to value ourselves above others, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not also valuable

I shared these versus last week Philippians 2:3-4

Philippians 2:3–4 NIV

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

So scripture is clear about this, but nowhere in scripture are we in the process of valuing others are we encouraged to neglect or abuse ourselves

Yet unfortunately that is the response that we tend to- we have come to believe that by neglecting and abusing our own bodies and souls that we are doing what God calls us to do

The reality is as has been previously stated we can’t do the work of caring for others when we ourselves are depleted, unhealthy and burned-out. Empty people can’t fill others up.

Maybe one of the primary reasons we react negatively to this subject is because we associate it with the subject of self-care

That word self is a loaded term for many of us

page 25

Here is the approach that we desire to take over the next 6 weeks and the foundation is 1 Corinthians 6:19

1 Corinthians 6:19 NIV

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

It is the approach of stewardship, the stewarding of our bodies.

My body is not my own, it belongs to God, it is his dwelling place, his home, therefore I have a responsibility to honor and care for my body- mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically

Trust me in a few weeks we are going to be talking about the rhythm of nourishment- Pastor Bob looked at me and said “I don’t feel like I’m qualified to preach on that subject” and I said perfect, I’m not either- but its not about specific diets its about stewardship and that can look different for each of us. I don’t have to tell you how you should eat, I just need to remind us that the way we eat affects our bodies which is the temple of God

An underlying question here to ask would be, Do you see yourself, your body as the temple of God?

Back to addressing the self- page 25

We want something deeper than self-care

when people talk about self care in the context of modern society and in counseling they are typically referring to things that make us feel good:

taking a hot bath

going to the spa

taking a vacation

going for a walk

listening to music

reading a book

engaging in a hobby

etc.

We want something that goes deeper than that, we want to be filled at the core/soul level of who we are

In order to get there we may have to get past some of our underlying beliefs and understanding of the importance of caring for ourselves

Remember your body is not your own- You are a temple. If that is true then soul care must be our responsibility.

Look For the Signals

We all go through have gone through seasons in our lives when we feel empty- I have nothing left, “I’m done”

It’s helpful for us to recognize when we are getting empty or are already empty

What are the signs that we are empty or might be getting empty, that the you have run out of capacity, the limits have been met

Feeling overwhelmed more often than usual

More than usual loss of motivation

Feeling tired, drained, exhausted or fatigued

Feeling helpless, trapped or defeated

Increased depression or anxiety

Feeling alone or isolated, even when you’re with people

A nagging sense of failure, self doubt or insecurity

Struggling with a negative or cynical outlook on life

Feeling apathy, irritability, impatience, bitterness, resentment, or anger toward yourself, god or others

An increase in physical symptoms- such as headaches, migraines, stomach issues, heart palpitations

A lack of enjoyment and excitement in life

How do you respond to the signs?

Do you ignore them and keep pushing through

Do you try to tune them out or numb them with- screens, devices, alcohol, food, sugar, porn, busyness

Maybe you judge yourself for even feeling this way-shame

Or do you listen and respond.

Maybe you’d like to listen and respond but you don’t know how- hopefully we can grow together as a community in responding to the signals that our capacity has been met, that we have nothing left

If you are currently feeling like that and don’t know what to do I’d encourage you to reach out to one of the pastors of find someone or a couple people in you Sunday School class who can walk with you

One of the things that we think is important for us to remember is that this care is best done in community, this is not an exercise in isolation, in withdrawing from everyone and everything- Bob will be speaking to that next week

One hope would be that we cultivating a space, a community where it is okay to say I’m empty, to ask for help- acknowledging the emptiness and allowing others to help might be the hardest part. Trust me I hate asking for help

What’s Not Working?

Unfortunately as we talk about dealing with the warning lights that we might be on empty far to many of us, myself included have not developed healthy means, rhythms of refueling and so we go for the quick fixes, or to borrow a racing metaphor, splash and dash

For me it’s sugar and screens

Isaiah 55:2 NIV

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.

As a country we a lot of time and money on things that can’t actually fill us up

Read page 47

Conclusion:

We have been taking inventory, of our own tanks, of our underlying beliefs that affect how we care for ourselves and ultimately how it is that we have been caring for ourselves

John 10:10 NIV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

1 Corinthians 6:19 NIV

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

Closing Prayer

Ephesians 3:17–19 NIV

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.