Ephesians 6:1-9 Study

Introduction

Keeping in this flow of thought in giving commands regarding what spirit-filled, loving and submission looks like on a more practical level, Paul turns his attention to the next most important relationship in the family. He continues going in order of importance of the relationship. Thus is why he begins talking about the church and then speaks on marriage. Something that we cannot forget or miss is that the relationship between a husband and wife is more important than their relationship with their kid(s). In fact, most problems that kids have are due to a lack of a loving marriage for their parents. That being said, we will now look at how children are supposed to practice this with their parents.

Verses 1-3 Children Obey Your Parents

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 6

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, because this is right.

Paul is very straightforward in this command. He doesn’t seek to blur the lines or confuse anyone. The command is simple: children obey your parents. He even tells us why we should do this: because this is right. When he says it is right, he is saying that it is objectively good for kids to obey their parents. This is a moral truth—meaning, then, it is objectively sinful for kids to disobey their parents.

I must press this caveat though: what about the abusive parents? What about the crooked parents? What about the not-saved parents? See, Paul is speaking about the ideal situation. Ideally, your parents are christians and pursuing Jesus and you need to just do what they say. However, many of us do not have this.

Growing up I was encouraged by my dad, while I was a teenager, to experiment with girls sexually. “Bible says obey my parents, so I guess I have to obey then, right?” Even 15-16 year old, stupid Saige knew that was wrong and not something I was supposed to obey. I even told my dad that I’m not supposed to do that stuff as a Christian.

And here is the caveat: if your parents are telling you to do something that is sinful, unrighteous, crooked, wrong, etc, don’t obey them. This doesn’t mean: “If my parents tell me to do something that I don’t like, I don’t have to do it.” Ultimately your goal as a child, whether your parent is a christian or not, whether your parent is in his/her right mind or not, is to honor your parents. And so, if your parents try to make you do something sinful or wrong, you must, in so much love and respect, tell them you cannot do that thing. Tell them why. Look at the next verses:

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Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, 3 so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land.

Paul points back to the Ten Commandments and points out this is the first commandment that contains a promise: your life will be longer and things will go well for you. You want to honor your parents no matter the situation. In fact, Paul emphasizes that the sin of disobeying your parents is a major one in 2 Timothy 3:

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 3

But know this: Hard times will come in the last days. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, proud, demeaning, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, without love for what is good, 4 traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to the form of godliness but denying its power. Avoid these people.

He equates disobeying your parents to many other sins that we would see has far greater—for Paul, the person who does any of these things hold[s] to the form of godliness but den[ies] its power. Then his command for christians who come across people like this in the church or outside the church is to avoid them! You disobeying your mom and/or dad is a cruel, wicked sin. It goes against the order of creation. I know we often glance past this, but consider the fact that your mother bore you for 9 months as you simply benefited off of her. Had she not cared about you living, you wouldn’t be living. Then she went through excruciating pain in giving birth to you. The process of giving birth to a child for a woman changes her body forever because it is such a major process. Then both your parents, or whoever raised you at least, cared for you hand and foot for years! Did you know infants have to eat every three hours? This is laborious! You have to set shifts to feed the baby so that the baby doesn’t die. Not to mention that made sure you were clean of poop and vomit for many many years. God knows that this is true and then knows it is right for you to, in return, obey and honor them.

Ultimately, this command comes with a great promise: in obeying your parents, you prolong your life! So do it. Obey, respect, submit, and honor them.

Verse 4 Fathers Don’t Stir Up Your Children

In all of this, we see that fathers are not out of the picture; they still have a command regarding their treatment of their kids:

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 6

4 Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

This verse brings about a question and includes a don’t and a do.

Question

Why is Paul only talking to fathers here? Should fathers be the only ones in a marriage who should raise their children? Is that really what Paul is saying? I don’t believe so, no. Paul is being consistent to his commands on marriage. The husband is the head of the wife. He is the leader of the family, altogether. The kids submit to both their parents and are led by them; the wife/mother, then, submits to her husband and is led by him; and the husband submits to the Lord and is led by Him. Meanwhile they are all individually led by the Lord. So yes, he talks directly to fathers, but these are important for the husband and the wife. If a wife is to stir up her kids to anger, the husband must be quick to lead her away from that mindset.

Don’t

Paul commands fathers to not exasperate or stir up anger in their children. Another way this could be said is “Don’t provoke your children,” or “Don’t instigate your children.” Paul sees that this could be a serious issue, and it possibly is. What this looks like is dads messing with their children just to stir them up. Just making them angry for no reason.

It is important to note that this does not mean sons and daughters must start attacking their dad when they think he is stirring up anger in them. Our jobs, as christians, are to worry about our position and how we should act, not others. So if your father perhaps is stirring up anger in you, you shouldn’t flip out about it and accuse him of disobeying Scripture. There is a way to address things like this that retain that level of honor and respect. Bring it up in love and gentleness to your dad: “Dad, I know you aren’t meaning to, but I think you are stirring up anger in me and I don’t appreciate it.” Just be honest with him, and let him respond how he may respond.

Do

Rather than stir up and provoke their children, fathers should

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bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

This is the key to parenting. The key is not give your children whatever they want; the key is not more money; the key is not raising a perfect genius. The key is training your children up in God’s Word and His commands. As long as parents are faithful in doing this, then they shouldn’t worry so much of what will become of their children. Faithfulness here will lead them to be faithful in many places.

Verses 5-8 Slaves Obey Your Masters

I’d encourage you, when it comes to applying points from this section, don’t think of slavery, but work. Consider working a job where you have a boss.

This section can also be controversial for those who lack understanding. The existence of Paul’s commands towards slaves and masters some take to be an approval from God of slavery. This is certainly not the case and should not be interpreted this way. The reality is that Paul, and further the Lord, did not seek to tear down their economic system. He sought to help believers live in a broken system faithfully.

The reality is that our governments and systems will never be perfect; they will always have major flaws. While some, every now and then, are called to overthrow and destroy such crooked systems, more of us are called to live in these broken systems faithfully. That is why Paul writes to slaves and masters; he wants these slaves and masters to live unto the Lord in their current position.

That being said, Paul speaks to slaves first:

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5 Slaves, obey your human masters with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as you would Christ.

Paul desires slaves to obey in a manner of sincerity. He likens a slave’s obedience to his master to his obedience to Christ. The reality is that God has placed over us authorities in many different situations. Especially regarding work. These commands are still true for us as employees! Obey your boss as you would the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul expounds further:

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6 Don’t work only while being watched, as people-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, do God’s will from your heart.

Don’t be the person who, as soon as no one is looking, begins to lounge and get on your phone. The slave, back then, put himself in the position of slavery so that his debts can be wiped and he and his family could be cared for. This is actually kind of a blessing during this time; so no Christian slave should be working half-heartedly. As for us, as we work jobs, this is also true. You are being paid to do whatever you were hired to do—do it well. Don’t half it. Don’t wait until your boss is looking to try—just work hard for God’s glory, not your own.

Paul once again notes that ultimately, they are slaves of Christ.

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7 Serve with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to people, 8 knowing that whatever good each one does, slave or free, he will receive this back from the Lord.

And he goes even further and says that not only should you work hard, even when no one is looking, but you should serve with a good attitude. I think this is where many of us fail. We will do as we’re told but do it begrudgingly. We will make it known that we don’t want to be doing it. This cannot be so for the christian. Work hard with joy all the time—the ability to work is a blessing.

Paul points out a theological truth that whatever we do unto the Lord will be returned. This simply means that God blesses those who do His Will. Not with buckets of cash, but with blessings you’d never expect. The reason for this is that it honors our Creator, God. So be faithful, and God will pour out even more onto you. You will be blessed.

One last note for slaves/employees: these commands remain true even if your boss is cruel or unkind. Look at 1 Peter 2:18-24.

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 2

18 Household slaves, submit to your masters with all reverence not only to the good and gentle ones but also to the cruel. 19 For it brings favor if, because of a consciousness of God, someone endures grief from suffering unjustly. 20 For what credit is there if when you do wrong and are beaten, you endure it? But when you do what is good and suffer, if you endure it, this brings favor with God.

21 For you were called to this, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 22 He did not commit sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth;, 23 when he was insulted, he did not insult in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten but entrusted himself to the one who judges justly. 24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree; so that, having died to sins, we might live for righteousness. By his wounds, you have been healed. 25

It is one think to obey a kind, gentle boss, but it is a whole other thing to obey a cruel one. The reality is that, for believers, you must be obedient to your boss whether he/she is good or bad. It really doesn’t matter. Remember, our job is to mind our part. Others need to figure it out for themselves. Great boss, terrible boss—be respectful, work hard, mind your attitude.

Verse 9 Masters Treat Your Slaves Well

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 6

9 And masters, treat your slaves the same way, without threatening them, because you know that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.

And now, for masters, we get one verse that is extremely backwards to their time. Slave Masters were seen as able to do whatever they wanted to their slaves. If they beat them or preferred one over another, no one in their time really cared. But Paul speaks out against culture. He tells masters to treat their slaves the same way slaves are supposed to treat their masters—gentleness, respect, kindness, etc. Bosses are supposed to be loving and gentle with their employees, prodding them to see God. Ultimately, the boss/master must remember what Paul points out: all of us have a master and that is Christ. And if Christ is gentle, humble, kind, and loving with us, shouldn’t we be to those under us as well?

Christ didn’t see His position as God as one to be exploited, neither should we see our positions over man as ones to be exploited. Empty yourself of all pride. Display Christ in your leadership.