Why Praying Is So Hard

Intro

Good morning! Today we continue in our sermon series on Grace-Centered Prayer and we’re asking the question, Why is praying so hard?

Maybe it’s not hard for you. And, if so, God bless you. Maybe you should come up here and preach for us. But my suspicion is that prayer is inherently hard for everyone who is broken and sinful and lives in a fallen world. The deck is stacked against us!

But there is good news! For all that is against us, there is One very important person who is for us. And that person is the triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And because God is on our side, there is always hope for us in prayer.

Now, before we get started i need to recommend a book to you. A Praying Life by Paul Miller. I’ve read many books on prayer. This is the only book on prayer I’ve read four times. And looking at it this week, I’m ready to read it again.

Point 1: Why Don’t We Pray?

First point, why don’t we pray? As i thought about the reasons we don’t pray that started to fall into three classic categories: 1) The World, 2) The Flesh, and 3) The Devil.

The World

We live in a world that, since the Enlightenment, has separated everything into two stories, like a house. The lower story are the rational and logical things like math and science, and our physical bodies. And the upper story holds the non-rational things like feelings, values, faith, beauty, even ethics. These are things that cannot be proved by the scientific method. With all of this God was placed in the upper story. It’s okay for you to believe in God and pray to God, but those things cannot be communicated to other people and so you need to keep them to yourself. The result is that, over time, God, faith, prayer have all been removed from the “cultural air we breath.” It’s like growing up speaking Spanish, but after years of living in America you lose it because no one else speaks it. The result is that “Prayer feels odd” (Miller, 105), and we place our confidence in research and planning and not in God.

The Flesh

The second reason we don’t pray is our own flesh. Flesh is what the bible calls our sinful nature. We are all born into this world with a nature that is opposed to God. Because we are sons of Adam and daughters of Eve (as C. S. Lewis liked to say), we have an inherent desire of autonomy. We don’t want to live as dependent beings.

Jesus taught us that we should relate to God like little children. But parents know that children aren’t just dependent on their parents, they’re also little sinners who don’t want our help or instruction much of the time. And that follows us into adulthood.

Illustration: I was talking with someone in our church a while back about some difficulty he was walking through and we were talking about his struggle to trust God in the midst of the trial. I said to him, “It’s really hard for successful, competent people to go through extended times of suffering and struggle because they’re so used to feeling in control and able to fix things when they go wrong.” And in reality, God often uses times of suffering to draw us to reveal our weakness and need for Him.

The Devil

The third reason we don’t pray is the devil, the father of lies, who is actively at work sowing seeds of doubt in our minds about God. Like Eve in the garden, we are easily deceived into believing that God is not trustworthy, not good, that he doesn’t care, or is too busy to answer or even hear our prayers.

Disappointment

For that reason i put disappointment as reason 3.5. Another reason many of us don’t pray is because we were deeply disappointed in God not answering our prayers in the past. We were so disappointed that we put up a wall between us and God and decided it wasn’t worth asking any more.

Illustration: I used write in my prayer journal almost daily for a decade. But when things went south at our last church and I resigned, I have found it very difficult to do so.

Point 2: What Frees Us to Pray?

Reaffirming what the Scriptures teach us about God as both Infinite and Personal

// Against the lies of the World //

It’s hard for us humans to wrap our minds around an infinite-personal God. But we tend to gravitate to one side or the other.

Some find it much easier to see God as infinite but distant. He’s there, but is focused on running the universe and all that. The upside is that we believe in God but are still able to go about our own business.

Others gravitate to, as Depeche Mode put it, “Your own personal Jesus / Someone to hear your prayers / Someone who cares” , but really isn’t in control of everything.

But throughout the bible God reveals himself as the infinite God who is also able to be present in the most intimate of ways:

“For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.” (Isaiah 57:15)

Notice what how God describes himself in this one verse: he is BOTH “high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity” AND he dwells “with him who is with him who is…lowly in spirit.” God loves to “revive the heart of the contrite.” That’s amazing.

And there was no more tangible way that God showed us how personal he is than in the Incarnation. When God became flesh and dwelt with us. And we call him Emmanuel, ‘God with us.’

"Prayer is a moment of incarnation—God with us.” ~ Paul Miller

Embracing our Limits and Weakness

// Against the lies of our flesh //

When Jesus was teaching his disciples how to pray he told stories of weak people who knew they couldn’t do life on their own.

For our Scripture reading earlier we heard Luke 18:1-8 where a widow persists in hounding an unjust judge for justice. The point of the story is that a widow was the most powerless person Jewish culture at the time. And she was appealing to a judge who “neither feared God nor respected man.” Which means he didn’t care that he was unjust or how his actions made him look to the public. She was out of luck. But she was so persist and kept bothering him, he gave in. Winning through annoyance! (I think that’s how my 12 year old son lives his life… way-o!)

And i love the way Jesus sets up the parable, what he wants us to know is that we should pray always and not lose heart.

By pray always, he means, pray about everything, even parking spaces. Miller has a funny story in the book. He read anotrher book on prayer where the author said it was selfish to pray for a parking space because it’s kind of selfish. God is pretty important and we shouldn’t pray for parking spaces. But all good gifts come from our Father in heaven, including parking spaces. So when we choose not to pray for a parking space, we beleive the lie that God is not personal, and we beleive the lie that we should just rely on our own ability to find one, and we beleive the lie that we are not dependent children whom God loves to provide for!

“Learned desperation is at the heart of a praying life" ~ Paul Miller

Receive and Rest in our Identities as Beloved Children

// Against the lie of the devil //

We talk about this almost every week, but the reason is because it is so important and central to the gospel.

One of my favorite passages in the whole bible is Matthew 6:25-34, where Jesus teaches against worry. He says, “Don’t worry about what you will wear, eat, or drink.” And the reason he gives is this: “Don’t be anxious seeking after these things. For the Gentiles seek after them, but your heavenly father knows you need them all.”

And I love what Luke adds in his version, Luke 12:32 ““Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Our Father loves to give good gifts to his children. So pray for parking spaces, for jobs, for needs, and keep your eyes open for how He will answer.

And that leads us to our final point…

Point 3: Learning to Watch and Pray

One of the reasons we fall into the temptation of bitterness from unanswered prayers is that, because we don’t relate to God as a good father, we try to use our prayers to manipulate God. We go to church, or try to be ‘righteous’ in some way, and then pray for something and are disappointed when God doesn’t give us that thing.

But listen to how Jesus talks about God as father in relation to our prayers:

“What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:11–13)

The point isn’t actually that God always gives us exactly what we ask for, the point is that the Father loves to give his children good gifts. But like any good parent, when our children ask for things, we may so, ‘No I won’t buy you that piece of candy in the check out line, but I will make you a wonderful meal when we get home.’ The Father may not give us what we ask for, even when we ask for good things. But He loves us better than any earthly father or mother, and he very much wants us to ask. How would it change your prayers, your anxiety level, you sense of the world if you embraced what the Scriptures say is true about God and about his heart toward you?

Illustration: Last week I was talking with someone in the lobby about a difficult situation they are in at work. She was telling me about a work situation that was stressing her out. I made a comment that it sounded like she was having trouble trusting God with her situation. We ended the conversation and went into the sanctuary as Russ was beginning his sermon. Within a few minutes he was talking about our resistance to trusting God and God's desire for us to trust him as our heavenly Father.

I texted her in the middle of the sermon:

(image of text message)

In the midst of a hard situation God met her. Was it a coincidence? Not if you live in the world that the Bible says we do. This was God communicating to her: ‘I know you are in a hard spot. I hear your prayers. I know your heart. I am with you. Trust me, even when you don’t see how I am or will provide for you.’

Conclusion:

Look back at intro. Is there a way to tie back in to what you said there?

I love the phrase “not lose heart” in 18:1. Is there a way to close on that note?