The Foundations of Biblical Marriage and Singleness
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Introduction
Introduction
Good evening, brothers. Tonight, we embark on a deep exploration of two critical aspects of the Christian life: biblical marriage and biblical singleness. These are not just personal statuses or cultural norms; they are sacred callings, instituted by God, designed to reflect His glory and shape us into the image of Christ.
In The Meaning of Marriage, Tim Keller writes: “The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time, we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.” This truth is the foundation for understanding marriage and singleness. Both are meant to display the gospel and transform us into gospel-shaped men.
Tonight, we’ll begin by exploring what Scripture teaches about marriage and singleness as divine callings. Whether you are married, single, divorced, or widowed, this lesson applies to you. As Paul says in 2 Timothy 3:16, "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness."
We’ll divide this lesson into three parts:
Biblical Marriage
Biblical Singleness
Gospel Implications for Both Callings.
Let’s begin by reading Ephesians 5:21-33 and 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, 32-35.
I. Biblical Marriage: A Covenant of Self-Giving Love
I. Biblical Marriage: A Covenant of Self-Giving Love
The Design of Marriage
The Design of Marriage
In Genesis 2:18-25, we see the divine institution of marriage. God declares, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." This verse is profound because it marks the first time in creation that God says something is “not good.” Adam, though surrounded by the beauty of Eden, needed something more—he needed a companion, a partner, someone who would help him fulfill God’s mandate to glorify Him through dominion over creation.
In Ephesians 5, Paul expands on this by showing that marriage is not just about companionship—it is a living picture of the gospel. He writes, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (v. 25). Here we see that marriage is not about fulfilling personal desires but about reflecting Christ’s sacrificial love.
Marriage as a Covenant
Marriage as a Covenant
What sets biblical marriage apart from the world’s view is that it is a covenant, not a contract. Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." The Hebrew word for “hold fast” is dabaq, meaning to be glued together. Marriage, therefore, is a lifelong, binding commitment.
Tim Keller writes, "The essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other." Unlike contracts, which are based on mutual benefit and can be broken when conditions are unmet, covenants are unconditional and reflect God’s faithful love for His people.
The Purpose of Marriage
The Purpose of Marriage
Marriage serves several divine purposes:
Reflection of God’s Covenant Love:
Marriage mirrors Christ’s love for the Church. Keller explains, "When God designed marriage, He did so with the gospel in mind." Just as Christ loves the Church unconditionally, husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, and wives are called to respect and submit to their husbands in joyful partnership (Ephesians 5:33).
Sanctification:
Marriage is a tool God uses to refine us. Keller writes, "Marriage brings out the worst in you and then shows you how selfish you really are." Through the intimacy and challenges of marriage, God exposes our sin and molds us into Christlikeness.
Companionship and Mission:
Marriage is not just about emotional connection but about partnering for God’s glory. Genesis 1:28 calls Adam and Eve to be fruitful, multiply, and exercise dominion over creation. This mission-oriented aspect of marriage is often overlooked in modern culture, which reduces marriage to personal happiness.
Illustration: The Diamond
Illustration: The Diamond
Picture a diamond being formed under intense heat and pressure. Marriage is like this process—it reveals our flaws, shapes us, and ultimately makes us shine as a reflection of God’s glory.
Engage:
Married men, are you loving your wife as Christ loves the Church? What specific ways can you serve her sacrificially this week? Single men, how does this high view of marriage shape your understanding of relationships and your future?
II. Biblical Singleness: A Gift for the Kingdom
II. Biblical Singleness: A Gift for the Kingdom
The Purpose of Singleness
The Purpose of Singleness
Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:7, calls singleness a gift. He writes, "I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another." While marriage reflects the covenantal love of Christ, singleness reflects the sufficiency of Christ. It demonstrates that He alone is our ultimate satisfaction and identity.
Three Advantages of Singleness
Three Advantages of Singleness
Undivided Devotion to Christ:
In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, Paul highlights that singleness allows for greater focus on pleasing the Lord. Without the responsibilities of a spouse or family, single men have unique opportunities for ministry and spiritual growth. Keller warns, "If singles do not develop a deeply fulfilling love relationship with Jesus, they will put too much pressure on marriage to fulfill their deepest needs."
Flexibility for Mission:
Single men have the freedom to go where God calls them without the logistical challenges of uprooting a family. This flexibility can be a powerful tool for advancing God’s kingdom.
A Foretaste of Eternity:
Singleness reminds us that earthly marriage is temporary. In heaven, we will experience the ultimate marriage between Christ and His bride, the Church (Revelation 19:7). Singleness points us to this eternal reality.
Illustration: The Bow and Arrow
Illustration: The Bow and Arrow
A bow must have tension to launch an arrow toward its target. Singleness creates a unique tension—undivided focus on God’s mission. When embraced, it propels us toward eternal purposes.
Engage:
Single brothers, how are you leveraging your singleness for God’s glory? Married men, how can you encourage single men to embrace their calling?
III. Gospel Implications for Both Callings
III. Gospel Implications for Both Callings
1. Our Identity Is in Christ
1. Our Identity Is in Christ
Whether married or single, our ultimate identity is in Christ, not our relationship status. Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." This truth frees us from idolizing marriage or singleness.
2. Sanctification Through Relationship
2. Sanctification Through Relationship
Marriage sanctifies us through self-sacrificial love. Singleness sanctifies us through undivided devotion. Both are tools God uses to transform us into the image of Christ.
3. Community in the Church
3. Community in the Church
The church is a family where both married and single men are called to encourage one another. Keller writes, "The Church must be a place where singles can find spiritual family and where married couples can find support." We are brothers in Christ, united by the gospel.
Illustration: The Symphony
Illustration: The Symphony
Marriage and singleness are like instruments in a symphony. Each plays a unique role, but together, they create a harmonious melody that glorifies God.
Engage:
How are you investing in the life of the church to support and encourage others, whether married or single?
Application
Application
For Married Men:
How are you loving and serving your wife in a way that reflects Christ?
What practical steps can you take this week to grow in self-sacrificial love?
For Single Men:
How are you stewarding your singleness for God’s kingdom?
Are there distractions you need to surrender to focus more on Christ?
For All Men:
How can you encourage your brothers in their unique callings, whether married or single?
What steps can you take to deepen your commitment to Christ as the ultimate Bridegroom?
Conclusion
Conclusion
In closing, remember Tim Keller’s words: "Both singleness and marriage are necessary pictures of the gospel." Married men show the covenant love of Christ. Single men show His sufficiency. Together, we reflect the multifaceted glory of the gospel.
Let’s commit ourselves to these callings with joy and faith, knowing that whether married or single, our ultimate purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Prayer
Prayer
"Father, thank You for the gifts of marriage and singleness. Help us to see these callings as tools for Your glory and our sanctification. Teach us to love as Christ loves, to reflect the gospel in our lives, and to encourage one another as brothers in Christ. May we find our ultimate satisfaction in You, and may we glorify You in every season of life. Amen."