When I Don’t Want to Pray

“May I but speak my own experience, and from that tell you the difficulty of praying to God as I ought; it is enough to make you . . . entertain strange thoughts of me. For, as for my heart, 

when I go to pray, I find it so reluctant to go to God, and when it is with him, so reluctant to stay with him, that many times I am forced in my prayers; first to beg God that he would take my heart, and set it on himself in Christ, and when it is there, that he would keep it there.

 In fact, many times I know not what to pray for, I am so blind, nor how to pray, I am so ignorant; only (blessed be grace) the Spirit helps our infirmities (Rom. 8:26).” - John Bunyan

Martyn Lloyd Jones captures this same idea, but more succinctly:

“Everything we do in the Christian life is easier than prayer.” —Martyn Lloyd-Jones

If this is true, why is that the case? I think many of us can at least understand why such a thing would be said. Here are two faithful pastors who recognized and confessed that prayer is hard. So, it’s probably true that this difficulty is not limited to the spiritually immature.

Why is prayer so hard? For those of us who are concerned for our prayer lives, I don’t think it’s because we don’t understand what prayer is or even how to pray.

Perhaps the more relevant question is why do we lack motivation to pray? Now to be sure, there are many possible answers to this question. Certainly, sin kills our prayer lives. When we live in sin, we will not pray.

But a particular reason we have difficulty praying that I want to take a few moments to focus on has to do with false beliefs. What I mean by false beliefs are beliefs that we know to be incorrect, but we live as if we do believe them.

You ever hear someone say, I know this isn’t true but… and then they go to say that they believe it anyway. When it comes to struggling to pray, the cause of our struggle is often connected to our unbelief.

So what are these false beliefs? The one I want to consider tonight is the belief that prayer does not make a difference. There are times in our lives when praying feels like praying to a wall. We lack the motivation to pray because we doubt it will do any good.

This is a dark place to be. We often feel this in moments/seasons of despair.

It’s common, but when we are troubled, we may not be inclined to pray. That does not make sense. When we are troubled, we should pray. But think about how this may evolve:

Getting to this place usually does not happen over night, rather it is often the cumulative effect of disappointments, failures, uncertainty, confusion and other things like these.

It’s this perhaps slow but stead downward spiral into despair that may leave us despondent towards prayer.

But let me suggest this as an answer: Prayer. But a particular approach to prayer. The Psalms of lament offer a way out of a despondent posture towards prayer.

Psalm 13 ESV

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David. 1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? 3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, 4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. 5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

3 components of this kind of prayer:

1. Acknowledge our desperation to God in prayer. (1-2)

AQ: Why bother expressing our anguish to God in prayer?

Sub-point #1: To combat the lie that God has forsaken us (1)

“forget” = abandon

“hide” = conceal, undiscoverable

Sub-point #2: To combat the lie that we can navigate our anguish with our own wisdom (1)

NIV = wrestle with my own thoughts

Sub-point #3: To combat the lie that justice is dead (2)

2. Pray for relief (3-4)

AQ: For what should we pray when praying for relief?

Sub-point #1: that we would embrace the promise that even in our anguish, God has not ceased to be our loving ruler (3)

“Consider” = acknowledge

A prayer in response to the struggle expressed in verse 1 - struggling with the lie that God had forsaken the Psalmist

Sub-point #2: that we would be encouraged (3)

“light up my eyes”: bring encouragement to me

Ezra 9:8 ESV

But now for a brief moment favor has been shown by the Lord our God, to leave us a remnant and to give us a secure hold within his holy place, that our God may brighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our slavery.

It may be God’s will that we suffer for a time, and though we may not understand His purposes, we can pray for encouragement in the midst of our suffering.

Sub-point #3: that our salvation would be evident to others (4)

David sees what’s at stake here. When we suffer, there’s allot at stake, and it’s not primarily our perseverance through the trial.

2 things that are at stake:

that the trial would not be victorious over us

that our faith would not falter

What can this look like?

bitterness

cynicism

isolation

anger

jadedness

What we need and what we want when we suffer is relief, and the good news for God’s people is that relief from suffering is not contingent on the cause of the anguish ceasing.

IN these moments we need to pray. Prayer of desperation:

Psalm 42:1 ESV

1 As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.

This is what we need. We need God. We need to yearn for Him like we yearn for something to drink when we are thirsty. This is from where relief comes.

3. Remember the steadfast faithfulness of God. (5-6)

AQ: What is always true for God’s people when we suffer?

Sub-point #1: God loves us (5)

an unfailing kind of love, kindness, or goodness; often used of God’s love that is related to faithfulness to his covenant.

We cannot ultimately trust in human love because it is not steadfast. Only God’s covenant love for His people is steadfast.

Sub-point #2: God has saved us (5)

David is expressing his confidence in God to deliver him from his current suffering.

I do want us to see that though we may experience suffering, even extended suffering, if we have salvation from God, nothing can change this fact. No amount of suffering can change the fact that we are saved.

Sub-point #3: God is always worthy of our worship (6)

What’s the reason David will sing to the Lord while he suffers? Because God has dealt bountifully with him.

“bountifully” = response to behavior

As we strive for faithfulness to God while we suffer. As we remain prayerful, cry out to God, fight not to give into the lies that say God has forsaken me, I can figure this out with my own wisdom, justice is nowhere to be found, God will honor that. God will bless us here. He will grant us a peace that surpasses our understanding.

And so we pray to God in our suffering. We pray to Him with cries of anguish, cries for help and cries that express our fight to believe that He is always faithful.