Joy - Enjoying My Family -week 3

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Video - Week 1

Title of the Series this Morning is “Joy”

Title of the Message this Morning is: Enjoying My Family - Week 3

Big Idea - Family can be messy, complicated and difficult, but it’s also a place where we can experience an incredible amount of joy and fulfillment.

Prayer- “Lord help us to live together in mutual respect, love, and intimacy with one another where we are known and loved for who we are.”

Main Scripture - Philippians 2:3

Introduction

When thinking about a sermon series on the family, you’ll realize that the families presented in the bible are complicated and messy.

In the O.T. the book of Genesis features all kinds of families.

There’s the family of Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob…

Noah and his wife had three sons and three daughters-in-law who entered the Ark with them.

The first thing that happened after they came out of the Ark was, Noah planted a vineyard, got drunk, and naked, and cursed one of his sons, wishing slavery on his progeny.

Abraham lied about his wife Sarah, twice, and then made an agreement with her that he’d sire a son with her handmaiden.

When that actually happened, Sarah went through the roof and insisted that he cast the handmaiden and her son out in the cold.

When Abraham and Sarah they finally did have a son, Abraham attempted to kill him with a knife.

Isaac and his wife Rebekah had twins, and each of them played favorites with one of them over the other.

Jacob married four women, letting it be publicly known that he loved his second wife and had no feelings for the other three.

Together, they produced 12 sons.

10 of those sons decided to murder the 11th son, thought better of it, and instead sold him into slavery.

And so today, in the 3rd week of our JOY series, we turn to family…

It can be messy, complicated and difficult, but it’s also a place where we can experience an incredible amount of joy and fulfillment…

FORECAST

I want to walk you through five attitudes today.

Five attitudes that will generate joy in your family.

So, let’s start by opening a Bible to Philippians 2:3.

 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

Main Teaching

 If you want to experience a joy-filled family, whether you’re a two-parent home, a single parent home, a single person, or a grandparent or aunt or uncle– no matter what kind of family you’re currently a part of, if you want to have a joyful home, it will help if you develop five habits that generate joy.

Are you ready?

 The first habit is, “Always wanting the absolute best for every member of your clan.”

The Five Habits of Joy-Generating:

Desiring the best for each other. Phil. 2:3-4

Some people are in the habit of coming home, taking their shoes off, and saying to themselves, “I want these people to give me their best.

Somebody bring me my robe and slippers.”

Because they mistakenly think that the secret to fulfillment in life is to get others to do things for them. (sound familiar?)

But our Lord taught us that the real secret to fulfillment is to do things for others.

And that’s our Philippians verse:

…in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. 4 Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

 The Five Habits of Joy-Generating:

2. Serving each other as a natural habit. Gal. 6:13b

When serving each other is everybody’s paradigm, everybody is just plain happier.

PROOF

If you Read the biographies of men and women who lived lives of sacrificial service to others, and you’ll find that most of them grew up in families that nurtured the idea that service was a virtue.

Read the Gospel of Mark, and you’ll find that Jesus, who was the most joy-filled person in history, said,

“I didn’t come to be served, but to serve, and give my life as a ransom for many.” (Mk. 10:45)

Jesus served others

And it isn’t that hard to develop this habit, if you start out early. – Children LIKE to serve!

The third habit that adds joy to your family is,

3. Knowing each other four levels deep. 1 Pet. 3:7b

“Knowing each other” is another term for intimacy.

The Apostle Paul remained single his whole life.

So he couldn’t really speak to us about family intimacy.

But the Apostle Peter was married and traveled everywhere with his wife.

In 1 Peter 3, Peter says,

Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way… 1 Peter 3:7a

Peter is saying, “Get to know your wife. Study her. Figure out what she likes and dislikes. Listen to her – and more!”

  Here’s the “four-levels deep” part.

 Gary Chapman, identifies 5 components of an intimate relationship. Each component builds on the one above it. They look like this: At level one…

5 components of an intimate relationship -

1: We tell our thoughts (intellectual intimacy).

2: We discuss our feelings (emotional intimacy).

3: We spend time together (social intimacy).

4: We open our souls to each other (spiritual intimacy).

5: We share our bodies (physical intimacy).

 Obviously, that 5th level is reserved for the husband-wife relationship.

But every close relationship within the family ought to have the first four levels, because we were made to know and be known by at least a few people in this life.

The next level of trust involves sharing our feelings.

This is where we reveal what’s making us worried, or frustrated, or sad, mad, or glad.  

 REVIEW

Intellectual intimacy is knowing what your family members are thinking about.

Emotional intimacy is knowing how they’re feeling.

Social intimacy is doing things together.

Gary Chapman says,

In a loving family, social intimacy is a way of life.

Time pressures, stresses, and other barriers must be negotiated, but there is a conscious effort on the part of [family members] to make time to experience life together, doing things that one or [all] of enjoy.

Level Four:

Spiritual intimacy is sharing our spiritual lives together – like worshiping together here at church, or sharing what you’re learning in your personal Bible reading time, or praying together.

And, level five:

physical intimacy is what the Bible calls “becoming one flesh,” and is so powerful, God says, “reserve this for a closed, permanent, till-death-do-us part relationship, or you’ll both get hurt.”

SUMMARY

We were made to know and be known, love and be loved, serve and be served, celebrate and be celebrated, and hopefully that happens in your Life.

But for there to be joy in your family, you’ve got to have those levels of being known by each other.

The fourth joy-generator has to do with maintaining barrier-free relationships with each other.

This is the indispensable habit of…

The Five Habits of Joy-Generating:

4. Overlooking, forgiving, and apologizing to each other. Prov. 19:11

Just think of the last time you were hurt by a family member and you’ll agree with me that it’s hard to have joy when there’s unforgiveness in your heart.

Which is why Proverbs 19:11 says,

Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. Prov. 19:11 NLT)

[Use the following story to help you think of one from your life where someone was hurt by not forgiving. Or, quote my story.]

EXPLAIN

Forgiveness is like opening your hand.

You can keep it clinched, but the tension of keeping it clinched only hurts you It doesn’t hurt the person who’s wounded you.

That’s why refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

When Peter asked Jesus how many times he had to forgive his brother, Jesus told him a story about a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants.

One of his servants owed him about $2,000,000 in today’s dollars.

There was no way the servant could ever repay his debt, so the king forgave it, in full.

In Jesus’ story, the forgiven servant had a friend who owed him $200.

When the friend couldn’t pay what he owed, the servant had him thrown in jail.

When the king found out about it, his response was:

“You wicked servant! I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Matthew 21:32-35 (NIV)

The three magic words for forgiveness are:

Let it go!

The fifth habit that brings great joy to your family life is the habit of…

5. Honoring each other in private and public. 

Rom. 12:10b

Honor is a gift you give to other people.

When you say honoring things to another in private, they fill built-up.

When you say honoring things about them in front of other people, they know you mean it.

 CONCLUSION

 Families were meant by God to be centers of joy!

Your family can be a center of joy.

Want the best for each other.

Choose to serve each other.

Decide to know each other.

Overlook the small stuff, and work to forgive the big stuff, and ask forgiveness for your stuff.

Honoring everybody with your words and actions.

And you’ll find yourself in a circle of joy!

Let’s pray together.

Salvation:

The Word of God says in: John 3:16

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Romans 10:13 NKJV

For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you’d would like to receive Jesus today, please pray this prayer with all of us:

Lord I believe that Jesus is the Son of God, and that He died On the cross for my sins and His resurrection from the dead gives me eternal life. I ask forgiveness of my sins, and I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Amen.

Pastor [e-mail]

Church Office: 909-922-8090

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Benediction

“I didn’t come to be served, but to serve, and give my life as a ransom for many.”

We do not draw people to Christ by loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely that they want with all their hearts to know the source of it.” -Madeliene L’Engle (Lang ill)

Have a Great Week! Goodbye!