POTENTIAL - Dating Series

HEAR NOTHING ELSE: Who you date is temporary, but who you become is lasting!

STORY - DATING FAIL - Jordan V.

Maybe you've been there, maybe not, regardless who I became because of that failure was immensely better than the opposite.

Regardless of where you're at, these next few weeks are for all of us.

TENSION

People dont use the word DATE as much. They may say:

• Maybe you’re just hanging out…

• Maybe you’re in a situationship…

• Maybe you're just talking…

• Or maybe you’re still trying to convince your best friend that you and someone else are just friends.

• Just so we’re all on the same page, we’re going to use the term dating and define it as being in a

relationship, however you would label it, where the other person means more to you than

just being a good friend.

• We want to help you date well.

Wherever we are at, we will all likely date at some point.

MINDSET - Relationship one day, start working on ourselves today.

MEAT

The Bible doesn’t directly talk about dating the way that we think about it today.

Despite a lack of explicit, crystal-clear instruction, there are still very important and helpful things that we can learn from the Scriptures when it comes to dating well.

Practical - Proverbs - Solomon - 20 YrsWisdom - Bad ending

Proverbs 24:27 NIV

Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house.

What does this have to do with dating?

Scripture says house (Actual house & family are the 2 most common definitions)

Building house analogy - Clear land, dig footers, lay foundation, supplies/tools are gathered.

Here is what we learn:

1. Prepare your land so that you can build a strong, stable house.

2. Then, get to work building your strong, stable house.

Biggest part of building a house happens before walls go up - cant rush into it.

Preparation is the foundation on which success is built. While that sounds good, we all have times

when we struggle to do this…

• We know that we have a big test coming up, but we don’t study until 10 minutes before.

• We know that we need a certain GPA to get into the college that we want, but we don’t start taking our grades seriously until the middle of junior year.

• We know we have a big recital next week, but we don’t remember to rehearse until a few days before.

• We know that tryouts are coming, but playing Xbox is a lot more fun than practicing soccer.

So how in the world do fields and construction and building houses apply to dating?

1. Prepare yourself so that you can build a strong, healthy relationship.

2. Then, get to work building a strong, healthy relationship.

Who you date may be temporary, but who you become is lasting.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Create these qualities in yourself before you look for someone else with them.

APPLY

Here are two practical steps to get started…

1. Choose who you want to work on becoming.

(Have some building tools—things like a hammer, measuring tape, wood, drill, level, etc. As you talk about

different aspects of I Corinthians 13, hold up different tools.)

A lot of us think, “As long as we are attracted to each other, we are good!” But you can’t clear a field and build a strong, stable house with only a hammer. It requires a variety of tools. A shovel. A saw. A drill. A level. A tape measure. 1 Corinthians 13 is like preparing your field and building your house—you have different, important tools for building. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not jealous. It doesn’t demand its way.

While it might be amazing to meet someone who possesses all of those qualities, becoming someone who is building these qualities into themselves is even better. And even if the dating relationship doesn’t work out, you will still have shaped and built a great house!

2. Practice.

Paul gave us a lot of options to work with, so it might be easiest to shrink it down a bit. This week, I want to challenge you to focus on two qualities that he talked about. Maybe it’s being patient and kind. Maybe it is being humble and forgiving. Maybe it’s being hopeful and gentle. I know two doesn’t seem like a lot, but a lot of these qualities can be really tough to live out. We can work on these all the time, dating or not, and you can practice them with everyone you interact with.

If you do date someday, things won’t always be easy. The person you date will get on your nerves, or not seem so perfect, and being patient and kind might become difficult. But if you start building those qualities into your own life now, they’ll come a lot easier when you need them.

Practicing any of the qualities in 1 Corinthians 13 can have a huge impact on your relationships and ultimately, your own life. So instead of spending time and energy finding the right someone faster, spend time building your foundation to be stronger…

Because who you date may be temporary, but who you become is lasting.