God doesn’t compare you to others

INTRODUCTION

2 MINUTES

Hi everybody! I’m __________, and I’m so glad you’re here as we kick off a new series today. We’re going to spend the next three weeks talking about something that has the potential to change the way we see ourselves and others. But before we get there, let me ask you a quick question.

What’s the last thing you got overly involved in?

The show you couldn’t stop binge-watching.

The video game you couldn’t stop playing.

The trend you couldn’t help but participate in.

The artist or song you couldn’t stop listening to.

The word or phrase you couldn’t stop saying, even if it annoyed everyone else!

A person you were dating. Too soon?!

(Communicator, share a personal story of something you got wrapped up in).

Any of you listen to your music on Spotify? Cool! If you don’t, it’s okay, you’re still awesome! Spotify is where I happen to get my music, and one day at lunch, my cousin showed me one of the options Spotify gives you when you click on the upper right hand of a song…

You can figure out the song credits—who wrote it, who produced it, and what label it was under. You may be thinking, “Who even cares?” That’s a fair question. For a solid week or two, I did! I was OBSESSED with knowing who wrote and produced almost every song I’ve ever loved in the history of my life. I’m not saying it was something cool to get wrapped up in, but I was definitely all in for a while!

We all get it, right? There are times when we simply get overly involved in something.

In this series, we’re talking about another thing that we can get overly involved in—it’s called comparison. We all have times when we get wrapped up in comparing ourselves with others…

You thought you were strong until they outlifted you by 100 pounds.

You thought your fit looked great until you saw theirs.

You thought your crush was awesome until you saw theirs.

You were excited about your car until they pulled up.

You thought you were brilliant until you had class with that one person.

You thought your house was nice until you went to your friend’s house.

This list can go on for days!

It’s comparison. We all do it—it’s natural and normal. But as we’ll discover in this series, it’s not just something we do…

It’s something that actually steals from us.

TENSION

3 MINUTES

Here’s the tricky thing about comparison—it has a way of taking over every part of our lives…

Our thoughts.

Our words.

Our actions.

Our relationships.

They’re all impacted. This usually happens in a slow, subtle way, and we almost never recognize it.

When we compare ourselves to others, we tend to believe that what they have is better than what we have. After all, we seem to be drawn to comparing ourselves to people who have something we want!

He has the musical ability you wish you had.

She has the family you wish you had.

He has the abs you wish you had.

She has the social following you wish you had.

When we get caught up in comparing ourselves with someone who has something we feel like we don’t, it’s an automatic loss for us. It’s like playing a game we can’t win. And even though we theoretically know that nobody has a perfect life, we start to feel like they do.

Wait, it gets worse.

Then, comparison starts stealing our peace and joy.

We look at what they have, and we start feeling disappointed in what we have (or don’t have).

Maybe we get angry—we think that they’re getting what we actually deserve.

Maybe we feel hopeless. No matter what we do or how hard we try, we’ll never get where they are or have what they have.

Without us even realizing it, our peace and joy have been taken by comparison, the thief of everything!

Let me illustrate this in a simple way. Let’s say that there was a day when you felt lonely and wished that you were dating someone. You may think, “I would never feel that way!” It’s okay, people. It’s just an illustration, so relax!

On that day, I can promise you that EVERY couple you passed would seem perfect. It would be like magic! You’d feel like you were surrounded by the happiest couples in human history. You start to see the thing you want most everywhere. That’s one of the many subtle ways comparison messes with our minds.

One more thing.

Even when we compare ourselves to someone who doesn’t have what we have, it still steals from us.

If we’re better at that sport, we worry, “What happens if they pass me?”

If we have that boyfriend, we wonder, “Does she hate me because I’m dating the guy who she wants to date?”

If we always look good, we start stressing as we get ready for the day because we think that people are expecting perfection from us.

Our gratitude for what we have is replaced by fear. The thing that should give us confidence actually makes us feel insecure.

It’s a losing game, friends! That’s the bad news.

Here’s the good news. We’re not the first people to deal with this, and what we talk about today can be a game-changer as we learn to recognize and deal with this subtle, sneaky thief.

TRUTH

3 MINUTES

Like we said, comparison is natural and normal. It’s part of being human. Thankfully, the humans who lived thousands of years ago—just after the time Jesus was alive on Earth—wrote down a thing or two about their struggles with comparison.

The passage we’re going to look at today was written by a guy named Paul, who was the greatest missionary in the history of Christianity. He helped spread the Christian faith, and he often wrote letters to encourage people and help them learn more about God.

In the letter we’re looking at today, Paul addresses what it looks like to get involved in comparison. Here’s what he said:

“Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!” (2 Corinthians 10:12 NLT).

Paul was talking specifically about some false teachers who were bragging about their spirituality to others. However, I think the truths he shared here can still help us with what we’re talking about today.

Paul is basically saying, “We’re all just basically creating our own standard of comparison. We’re looking at each other and deciding what we think our lives need to look like. At the root of comparison are things like emotion, perception, and what other people say. That’s foolish! It’s not wise, and it’s not helpful.”

A few verses later, Paul tells us to turn our attention elsewhere. Check it out:

“When people commend themselves, it doesn’t count for much. The important thing is for the Lord to commend them” (2 Corinthians 10:18 NLT).

Paul is saying that we spend our time focusing on other people and how we measure up to them, and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t count for much. In fact, it steals from us. It’s the thief of everything!

Instead, God’s encouraging us to turn our focus toward God. God sees us, loves us, and cares about every area of our lives. God’s not basing our worth and value on how we look that day, what type of car we drive, or how much we can bench press. God sees us as beloved children no matter what—it has nothing to do with the people around us.

Think of it this way:

God’s not looking to see how we line up to the people around us.

God’s not taking away points when we don’t maintain the image we want to project.

God designed us to be just the way we are. Because of that, God doesn’t need to compare us to anyone else. God sees everything about us through the lens of His love for us. That’s the way God wants us to see ourselves, too! Instead of getting caught up in comparison, we can choose to remember that in God’s eyes, we’re always enough. Focusing on God’s love will shrink the power of comparison in our lives.

APPLICATION

3 MINUTES

The book of Proverbs gives us a good starting point for how to protect ourselves from this thief:

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23 NLT).

Comparison starts in our hearts. So, if we want to avoid letting ourselves get caught up in the negative parts of comparison, then we have to stop it in the same place!

So here are some ways you can guard your heart:

Pay attention to your feelings. Notice the way your mood or outlook changes when you start to compare yourself to someone else. Do you feel disappointed? Frustrated? Angry? Anxious? Those feelings may be clues that you’re caught up in comparison.

Find out what’s fueling it. What are you looking at, thinking about, or doing when you start to feel those things? What’s fueling your negative feelings of comparison? If it’s something in your control, take a step away from it. Close the app, turn off the TV, take a break from that friend group for a day or so. If it’s something you can’t control, talk to someone who can help. Your small group leader is a great person to start with here! They can help you identify steps you can take to guard your heart and break free from what’s fueling comparison in your life.

INTERACTIVE

Media Package subscribers: Look for ThiefOfEverything_RechargeInteractiveVideo_Week1_XP3HS to accompany this interactive. Interested in purchasing the annual media package? Look for the Media Package Add-On in your curriculum dashboard.

(Communicator, hold up a phone and a charging cable.)

Think about your phone. Even though we pay attention to it all day, we hardly ever think about it, do we? It’s just a natural, normal extension of our lives. The only time we do is when the battery is low. That’s our cue to do something different—we have to find a cord and recharge it.

Comparing ourselves to others is like having a low battery. It’s the sign that we’re not guarding our hearts. It’s the sign that we need to do something different. We need to turn our attention elsewhere, change what we’re exposing ourselves to, or put some things on do not disturb. In the same way that a low battery is a sign to charge it, what if comparing became your signal to focus on the God who loves you so much?

Celebrate what you do have. Instead of filling your heart with comparison, fill it with the celebration for all the things you do have! The things that you’re thankful for, the things you like about yourself, the good in your life. In fact, focusing every day on the way God sees you is a great place to start! A great way to do that is to read Scripture focused on what God says about you. When you’re tempted to compare, fill that space in your heart with something better! Fill it with things that remind you of the truth that God doesn’t compare you to others.

LANDING

1 MINUTE

Every single one of us struggles with comparison in different areas of our lives. The good thing is that we don’t have to struggle alone! One of the reasons we have small groups is to give you a place to talk about these things and become more aware of them.

So, I hope you’ll open up about how you may be struggling to break free from comparison with your group today. And I hope you don’t compare the way you answer the questions to the way that someone else does! Let’s be safe people to be honest with each other in group.

As you do, I want you to think about this question: What’s one area of my life where I tend to compare myself to others?