How to Get Rich

Recording Artist Ben Rector recently released a song that begins with these lyrics:

When I get to heaven

And we're lined up outside the pearly gates

While we're all walking, small talking, mingling

I already know what I'm gonna say

When we all trade stories

Of what we did with our lives

I won't say that I played music or could sing

When it's my turn I think I'll smile

and Say I was

The richest man in the world

Father to a baby girl

And two boys that I know loved me

Was famous to a few good friends

And beside me til the end

Was my wife who is so lovely

And I don't know who could ask for any more

I'm the richest man in the world

The richest man in the world

It’s a beautiful testimony to what really matters in life. The line that particularly strikes me every time that I hear it is “famous to a few good friends.”

Friendship is a true gift to us from God. Friendship nourishes our souls, it builds us up and helps us to achieve heights that we never thought were possible for ourselves. Friendship is special because these are the relationships that we choose for our selves. They are the gift that gives us a place to belong and a place to call home, regardless of what home looked like for us growing up.

We are in a series called “Part of Your World” where we are looking at different types of relationships that we have in our human experience. We’ve talked about the divine relationship and the relationships that we have with our family. What we’ve seen is that these two types of relationship play a pivotal role in how well we are able to relate to the world around us.

Today we move to the realm of friendship. The tricky thing about friendship is that it’s really a very broad term, one that encompasses a lot of different types of relationships that we have in life. It’s a term that has been really watered down, especially in our world where we become “friends” with people on social media — often with people we don’t even talk to in real life.

But even just generally in western society we have the propensity to include acquaintances and people that we are not particularly close to in our definition of friendship. I didn’t even realize this until I ministered cross-culturally with Pacific Islanders for 5 years. What I quickly learned was that there was a clear line for them between people who were out here and people who were in. I think it took me 2 years to become their friend.

So for today’s discussion we are going to focus on the deeper more intimate type of friendship. This is the type of friendship that Jesus and the disciples had. This is the type of friendship that Jesus was referring to when he uttered these famous words from John 15.

John 15:12–15 NRSV

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.

Isn’t it a wonder, that the God of the universe would call human beings “friends”? And that the only condition of being friends is that we treat one another — Jesus’s other friends — with love? Easier said than done sometimes I know, but this really strikes me as so so simple.

And yet it’s loaded with the most difficult language as well. The greatest love is shown when we lay down our lives for each other. I mean, Jesus is obviously alluding to his own cross, but he’s also talking about us and the general posture that we have for one another.

The friendship that Jesus models for us is a friendship that is based in love and that is shown to us through sacrifice. So what does it look like for us to be a friend and have friendships that meet Jesus’s standards?

Let’s look back at probably the most famously sacrificial and deep friendship in the Bible — the friendship between David and Jonathan.

Now you may know that David did something really incredible when he was just a young boy: He killed a Giant champion of the Philistines named Goliath and saved Israel. After doing this King Saul called him to have a chat. Present at this meeting was Saul’s son Jonathan.

1 Samuel 18:1–12 NRSV

When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bound to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that he was wearing, and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him; as a result, Saul set him over the army. And all the people, even the servants of Saul, approved. As they were coming home, when David returned from killing the Philistine, the women came out of all the towns of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments. And the women sang to one another as they made merry, “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” Saul was very angry, for this saying displeased him. He said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands; what more can he have but the kingdom?” So Saul eyed David from that day on. The next day an evil spirit from God rushed upon Saul, and he raved within his house, while David was playing the lyre, as he did day by day. Saul had his spear in his hand; and Saul threw the spear, for he thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” But David eluded him twice. Saul was afraid of David, because the Lord was with him but had departed from Saul.

So we see here that Jonathan and David became best friends like really really quickly. And thats all wonderful, but pretty soon Saul doesn’t like David at all. Like actually wants to kill him. That’s gonna put our guy Jonathan in a really awkward spot.

Saul says to Jonathan: hey I’m gonna kill David and I might need yourself. And Jonathan does the sensible thing. He tells David about it. Then he tries to talk dear old dad off the ledge. And Saul kind of agrees but keeps going back and forth on his commitment to not kill David.

So David basically says to Jonathan, I can’t trust that your Dad isn’t going to take my life and Jonathan swears his loyalty to David and offers these words:

1 Samuel 20:16–17 NRSV

Thus Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, “May the Lord seek out the enemies of David.” Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him; for he loved him as he loved his own life.

The next thing that happens is that Saul lays a trap for David and Jonathan tips off David, and almost gets himself killed. Jonathan reports this to David and this is how he responds to the situation:

1 Samuel 20:42 NRSV

Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, since both of us have sworn in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my descendants and your descendants, forever.’ ” He got up and left; and Jonathan went into the city.

So here’s the real deal here. Jonathan’s friendship with David does not come easily or without a price for him. Most of Saul’s reasoning for wanting to get rid of David is because David had been anointed as the next king of Israel. And King Saul, well Saul knew what that meant. It meant that Jonathan—his son would not be the king of Israel as long as David lived. And that was not acceptable to him.

Jonathan’s loyalty to David came at the cost of strain in the relationship between himself and his family, but moreover, it came at the cost of the crown that could have been his.

Now, what I’m not trying to impress upon you today is that friendships should keep you from achieving your greatest goals in life. What I’m trying to impress upon you is that friendship is a loyal love that is not derailed by the ambitions of our hearts.

We live in a world where stories of betrayal of this type of relationship are prevalent. Friendships are broken over the pursuit of love, wealth, and status. And I think that this is because we have forgotten the sacred reality of friendship. We’ve relegated friendship to some form of glorified acquaintance — useful for making us feel wanted and needed until some better opportunity comes along. I mean this is really how friendship goes when we are young and immature. It’s why middle school is so hard.

But this is not the type of friendship that Jesus offered to his disciples or to us. This is not the type of friendship that Jonathan offered to David. These are not the types of friendships that God created us to enjoy with one another. Friendship is a relationship built on mutual respect and a deep abiding love for one another that is willing to make sacrifices to meet the needs of others.

The author of Ecclesiastes offers these words on friendship

Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 NRSV

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Friendship is the foundation of community, which is a means of supporting and loving one another when we are in need. Friendship is where we find that we belong.

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott discuss friendship in a book that they wrote called Real Relationships. They say that when it comes to friendships we really have 2 boxes that we put people in. There are friends of the Road and Friends of the Soul.

Friends of the road are those people that we have deep meaningful relationships with — but they are for a season of our life. I have probably more of these than most people because I have been basically moving every few years for my entire adult life. Friends of the road can be high school, college, work friends etc. They are not friendships that have ended per say, but they are friendships that have not endured past the season that they were part of in our lives. It’s important to understand that there’s nothing wrong with this reality.

But then there are friends of the soul. These are the people and relationships that endure regardless of time and distance. This is a much smaller group for most people. These are the friends that you don’t see or even talk to for periods of time and when you do it’s like no time has passed at all. These are your David and Jonathans. These are the people you drive across the state to drop hurricane supplies off to or to hold them when they’ve endured loss. These are the people that have taught you what it really means to love and be loved in the way of Jesus.

These are the people who you can say “I was famous to a few good friends.”

Listen I’ve gone on for quite a bit here, but the point is that friendships are needed in our lives. They are the thing that keep us connected to the world when we’d rather slip into isolation. They are the gift that draws us nearer to the heart that God has for us.

So this week we are going to continue to pray the Lord’s prayer every day, but add to that prayer a prayer for your friends of the soul. And then pick up your phone and just tell them that you are praying for them. Let them know that they are loved by you. They know it… but there is nothing better than seeing that truth pop up on your phone. Be the reason that the ones you love the most know that they belong in your tribe and that they are loved by you and by God.

This is how we get rich in this world. We get rich by cultivating this most precious resource — friendship of the soul. And when we get to where we are going we too will proclaim: “I was the richest person in the world”