****proverbs 22:6

What the Bible says about Parenting (Proverbs 22:6

Proverbs 22:6 (TNIV)

Start children off on the way they should go,

and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

The Bible from cover to cover has a great deal to say about Parenting. The Bible is the greatest parenting manual available. If we will hear and heed the word of God we will be the people that God intends us to be and we can be the parents that God wants us to be. In a day and age when parenting is not high on the priority list of many people the church must take the lead in making disciples, maintaining godly homes, and training the next generation to be godly. Parenting is not easy! It takes selflessness, steadfastness, and sincerity. There may be times that we feel like giving up and throwing in the towel, but we can seek daily God’s word for direction and lean on the Holy Spirit for power to be the parents that we are supposed to be. A little boy was overheard talking to his friend. He said, “I’m really worried. Dad slaves away at his job so I’ll never want for anything, so I’ll be able to go to the college I want to. Mom works hard every day washing and ironing, cleaning up after me, taking care of me when I get sick. They spend every day of their lives working just on my behalf. I’m worried.” The friend asked, “What have you got to worry about?”

The little boy said, “I’m afraid that they might try to escape!” Have you ever felt like you wanted to escape?

◦ God has not called parents to run, but to remain,

◦ God has not called parents to be gone, but to be godly.

Every parent has a God given responsibility to raise their children Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” Parents play major roles in the development of their children. Much of what children become are a direct result of what kind of parents they have had. Children need direction at home, they need discipline at home. Jimmy Draper wrote, “Children are not our own. We should see them as a sacred trust from God, a gift from heaven. God has entrusted them to us for the shaping of their hearts and minds, the molding of their character.”

Because God has given us children we must diligently seek to honor the Lord by the way we raise our children. A Christian home should be distinctly different from that of a non-Christian.

→ Christian parents have guidance and direction from the Holy Spirit and inspiration and instruction from the Holy Scriptures to make their home godly.

Christians must recognize the great responsibility of raising their children and to heed what the Bible says about parenting. FACTS: Christian parents must be dedicated, determined, and dependable. This verse gives us some truths about what the Bible says about parenting.

I. Instruction for parents. (6a)

“Train up a child in the way he should go,” Train: chanak, khaw-nak’; to narrow figurative to initiate or discipline-dedicate, train up. The word means “to dedicate, to hedge in, to train.”

→ A Danish proverb states, “What youth learns, age does not forget.”

→ An English proverb states, “As the twig is bent, so grows the tree.”

→ God’s proverb says “train up a child in the way he should go.” The word train is an active and aggressive word. Training does not come by laziness, not paying attention to detail, or by osmosis. Matthew Henry wrote, “Train them as soldiers, who are taught to handle their arms, keep rank, and observe the word of command.”

The word picture is that of cattle being guided into a pen. The path is fenced in so that there is only one way they can go.

Parents bring their children before the Lord and His church to dedicate their children to the Lord. This dedication is not so much for the child as it is for the parents. These parents pledge to train up their child in the way they should go. Parents are to dedicate their lives to the Lord, to one another, and to their kids to do all in their strength and power to make sure their son/daughter knows Jesus and is raised in a godly manner. Train up: in the Hebrew this was an agrarian term which referred to training a tree or vine to grow in a particular shape and direction.

Those of you who have been to Disney world or seen Disney world on television have noticed the shrubs shaped like the animals and various Disney characters. I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but those shrubs did not grow in those shapes. Over a ten to fifteen year period from the time those bushes are planted, they are shaped, trimmed, pruned, and ‘trained’ in the way that the workers want them,

◦ Some parts are removed, ◦ other parts are cultivated,

◦ and still other parts are trimmed away;

◦ until finally, the entire plant conforms to a wire mesh in the shape of the desired animal or character.

Training doesn’t occur overnight. The key to raising godly children is starting early. Deuteronomy 6:4–9 says, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to vour children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the wav, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

In that passage Moses exhorted the parents to teach God’s word to their children.

→ They were to teach them dutifully. (7a)

→ They were to teach them diligently. (7b)

→ They were to teach them daily. (7c)

Ephesians 6:4 says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Parents have a responsibility to train their children in a godly manner. We cannot rely on the church to do it, the schools to do it, the day cares to do it, but we must do the training. Adrian Rogers wrote, “We can’t depend on the public schools, films, entertainment outlets, or even peers to teach these things. They are more caught than taught, and they are caught in the home … Your child needs some goals and also some limitations. There are some things to be encouraged and some things to be denied.”

Training is hard work and time consuming. Training takes soul searching and it is tiring, exhausting, and never ending. We need to model the Christian life before our children. We want our children to have Christian qualities such as:

◦ Contentment, consistence, courage, courtesy, compassion

◦ Discernment, diligence, duty, discretion ◦ Fairness, friendliness, forgiveness

◦ Generosity, gentleness, gratefulness

◦ Helpfulness, honesty, humility ◦ Kindness ◦ Obedience, orderliness ◦ Patience, persistence,

◦ Self-control, self-denial

◦ Tactfulness, thankfulness, thriftiness

◦ Wisdom

Poem:

▪ Our children need to know we care, that when they need us we’ll be there;

▪ For deep within they need to hear that they are loved by someone dear.

We are to be godly examples for our children in word and in deed. Don’t ever say to your children: “Do as I say not as I do!” Instead we are to show them by our lives that we know Jesus, love Jesus, and serve Jesus. Jimmy Draper said, “We cannot expect our children to have spiritual qualities we as parents don’t demonstrate in our own lives. If we send our children to church instead of taking them, if we expect others to pray with them instead of kneeling with them at home and church, if we expect the church to teach them the Word of God instead of teaching it to them in our homes, we are failing in our task.”

We are to be living testimonies of the grace of God in the lives of our children. They are to see Jesus in us. Albert Einstein once said, “Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means.” God has called us to be examples to and for our children. A Good Word: The best thing you spend on your children is your time. We need to pray for our children, pray with our children, worship with our children at home as well as church.

We need to witness to our children and with our children. Seeing daddy and mommy telling others about Jesus instills the importance of evangelism and the love of Jesus for others. Parent’s training should come from their devoted love of Jesus and their common love for one another. Training a child does not mean we put the children before the marriage relationship.

Babies demand more time and attention, but spending all our time with the children should never be the norm. I’m saying that Jesus is to come 1st, the husband/wife 2nd, the children 3rd, and so on. Make sure you keep your priorities in the proper place. Parents training of their children should be comprehensive and consistent. We have a responsibility:

→ To love them

→ To lift them

→ To limit them

→ To lead them

→ To listen to them

→ And to last for them.

Advice for Parents:

▪ Be available for them

▪ Be approachable for them

▪ Be active in their lives

▪ Be affectionate towards them

▪ Be assuring to them

▪ Give godly advice to them

▪ Show appreciation to and for them.

We are not to wait until they are almost grown to try to train them. We are to train the child not wait until they are teenagers. Child: na’ar, nah’-ar, a boy (as active), from the age of infancy to adolescence; by implication a servant.

Years ago a woman needing advice wrote Jack Mabley, a columnist for the Chicago Daily News. She said she had a 17 year old who was breaking her heart. He refused to listen to a think she said. He was rude and defiant, abusive and used bad language around the house. He was running around with a bad crowd and sometimes came home drunk. She suspected he was using drugs and he had already been in trouble with the law. She asked in her letter what she could do. Mabley’s advice was painfully true. He wrote, “Shrink him down to 17 months and start over again.”

Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” Proverbs 29:17 says, “Correct your son, and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul.”

According to an article in the October 11, 2009 Houston Chronicle, Susan Klebold wrote the first detailed public remarks by any parent of the two Columbine killers. In her discussion about the monumental tragedy that occurred over eleven years ago in the suburbs of Denver.

Klebold wrote, “Dylan changed everything I believed about myself, about God, about family, and about love.” Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris killed twelve students, one teacher, and injured twenty-one people before committing suicide in their high school on April 20, 1999.

Susan Klebold wrote, “For the rest of my life, I will be haunted by the horror and anguish Dylan caused.” In the article she notes that she was blindsided by what happened. On that fateful morning, Dylan hurried out the door about twenty-minutes earlier than normal and seemed mad. She simply thought he was upset because he had to get up early to pick up a friend.

Little did she know that would be the last time she’d see him. From the journals he left behind, criminal psychologists have concluded that he was depressed and suicidal. Ms. Klebold wrote, “I’d had no inkling of the battle Dylan was waging in his mind.” Although this is an extreme example, it serves as a harsh reminder for parents to make sure they are consistently in sync with their children so they can adequately discern where they are and what they need most. It is important that we instill godly principles, values, and beliefs into our children. The word of God must have preeminence in the parent’s lives before it can take hold in the child’s life.

The world is after the mind of the children. According to these statistics the word of God does not have a great influence over the thinking and living of young people today.

• 58% of our young people cannot even say that there is an objective standard of truth.

• 85% of our kids are liable to reason like this: “Just because it is wrong for you doesn’t mean that it is wrong for me?

Whether we like it or not, the bottom line is that our kids will not learn the word of God in the school system. Our world system has rejected godly principles and Biblical morality. John Phillips wrote, “The entire educational system of our secular society is geared to focus the mind’s attention on this world’s priorities, philosophies, pleasures, prosperity, programs, principles, and praise.”

Satan wants the mind, the heart, the will, the conscience, and the soul of our children. That’s why it is important to train them up in the way they should go. Not our way, but His way! In the Book of Acts Christianity was referred to as the WAY. In the way: means “according to” We are to raise our children up in the proper way, the wise way, and godly way.

→ Great Truth: If we are not walking in the way we should go we can never train our children up in the way they should go.

We must be walking with Jesus before we can lead our children to walk with Jesus. Warren Wiersbe wrote, “God has ordained that parents are older and more experienced than their children and should therefore lovingly guide their children and prepare them for adult life. If any of their children end up sluggards, gluttons, fornicators, rebels, and robbers, it should be in spite of the parents’ training and not because of it.” In verse six the Bible gives instruction for parents. We also note in this verse:

II. Inspiration for parents. (6b–c)

A. About the future. (6b) “And when he is old”

Solomon speaks about the future of the one that has been diligently trained in the way he should go. Parents are to do all they can to teach, train, mold, and influence their children and then leave them in the hands of the Lord. We are to teach our kids the word of God and let our lives influence them as He influences us.

• Proverb: is a literary device whereby a general truth is brought to bear on a specific situation.

There is an inspiration for parents in this verse about the future of our children. All parents want the best for their children. But for parent to want God’s best means that those parents are dedicated to God’s way and surrendered to the Lord’s will.

The parents that are surrendered to Jesus will seek to train their children in God’s way. Children that are raised in a godly home, with godly parents, that model the Christian life, love Jesus, love each other, and love their neighbors have a greater probability of doing the same. Question: How many of you have had godly parents that set a godly example for you and trained you up in the way you should go. The Bible gives inspiration for parents about the future of the children. We also see the Bible gives inspiration:

B. About their faithfulness. (6c)

“he will not depart from it.”

Depart: cuwr, soor; to turn off (literal or figurative):—be [-head], bring, call back, decline, depart, eschew, go (aside), grievous, lay away (by), leave undone, be past, pluck away, put (away, down), rebel, remove (to and fro), revolt, x be sour, take (away, off), turn (aside, away, in), withdraw, be without. None of us want to see them leave the Lord and live their lives in rebellion and sin. We do not want our children to depart from the Lord, give up on Jesus and leave the church so we do all that we can do empowered by the Holy Spirit to stay faithful to Jesus. Most of us will admit that we want to finish well and we do not want to depart from the Lord. We want to run the race with endurance. Parents come to dedicate their children with hopes, dreams, and aspirations of that child being all that the Lord would have that child to be.

While raising your child there will probably come a time when you will tell him, “Be home before dark.” Your parents may have told you that before. “Be home before dark” means a successful journey and a safe arrival. Writer Robert McQuilkin used this phrase to express his desire to remain faithful to the Lord throughout his spiritual journey. His prayer ended with these words: “Lord, let me get home before dark.” He explained, “I fear … that I should end before I finish, or finish but not well. That I should stain Your honor, shame Your name, grieve Your loving heart. Few, they tell me, finish well.”

Parents: you want to finish well and you want your children to finish well. Grandparents: work with you children and not against your children in raising their children and your grandchildren. The same morals, principles, disciplines you used to shape your kids use to help your kids shape your grandkids.

The following article appeared in a newspaper entitled, “Open Letter to My Parents.”

“I am your child. You have brought me into this world and raised me to what I am today. If I am not what I should be, please do not be too harsh with me, for I am your product, and by my actions I advertise the quality standard of home. Do not point at one of my playmates as an example of how I should behave, for by doing so you are admitting that they are doing a better job than you.

You say that you love me, and yet it has been years since you put your arms about me at bedtime and with tears in your eyes asked your heavenly Father to watch over me as I slept. You seem to be more interested in my school grades than in the condition of my eternal soul.

You give me the impression that it is better to be popular than to be pure; but to be attractive on the outside than to have that ‘inner beauty’ that comes to one who loves the Lord.

So the next time you feel like throwing up your hands and saying, “I just can’t do a thing with you,’ please remember you have had the opportunity to influence me since I was born, and that the Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Parents to pray for and with their children! Children thank God for godly mothers and fathers! Parents would you surrender your lives and your children to the Lord! Fathers take the lead and begin to teach your children the word of God. Grandparents encourage, equip, and come alongside of your children in the raising of your grandchildren