Two is Better Than One

Bible Reading

Short passage this week, only 9 verses

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Overflow of the subject of a proper theology of work is being shared on Wednesday nights

Intention of today’s passage:

Life all alone is empty, we should embrace God’s good gift of friendship.

What Solomon must address is the a selfish desire for complete autonomy in their culture and its effects on on their faith.

Today’s Outline

What drives us to isolation?

What do we miss by going it alone?

What should our life look like in community?

Ecclesiastes 4:7–16 (KJV)

7 Then I returned, and I saw vanity under the sun.

8 There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail.

9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

13 Better is a poor and a wise child than an old and foolish king, who will no more be admonished.

14 For out of prison he cometh to reign; whereas also he that is born in his kingdom becometh poor.

15 I considered all the living which walk under the sun, with the second child that shall stand up in his stead.

16 There is no end of all the people, even of all that have been before them: they also that come after shall not rejoice in him. Surely this also is vanity and vexation of spirit.

Introduction:

“Let him who cannot be alone beware of community... Let him who is not in community beware of being alone... Each by itself has profound perils and pitfalls. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and the one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation and despair.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community

Effects of the Fall

We struggle with being in groups. We struggle being alone. We just struggle.

When we speak of being introverted or extroverted we are not sharing our Super Her strenthgs we are simply confessing what area of our lives need growth.

We are not as bad as we could be, though far worse than we imagine.

If sin was blue we would be blue all over. If sin was blue our whole lives would have a ting of blue.

Our work has been effected by it.

Our marriages feel the effect of sin.

Our bodies certainly feel the effects of sin.

Our understanding and appreciation of friendships have been as well.

I. What drives us to isolation?

Maybe better question. Who drives us isolation? Or why do we drive ourselves into isolation?

A. The emptiness that can only be found from walking alone.

Ecclesiastes 4:7–8 “7 Then I returned, and I saw vanity under the sun. 8 There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail.”

Solomon describes another way to live an empty life; he describes the man who chooses to walk alone.

Fun expression. Are you alone? “One alone, there is not a second.”

No companionship from those he could care and invest in; a child.

No companionship in a peer he could receive help from; nor a brother.

This is a loneliness that can be found even in a crowd.

B. This is the loneliness that is found from a series of decisions.

How do we find ourselves in this place?

I have been alone on days before because of lack of planning; Thanksgiving in 2004

I have been alone for seasons because I pushed people out of my life; due to bitterness and immaturity

What is the reason Solomon gives for this person?

Here Solomon explains a life of emptiness because of prioritized personal gain over relationships.

His work is never done because “neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he”

Reminder this is a new era for the children of Israel.

When the sun goes goes down the farmer stops, the international export and import traders do not have to.

Circumstances (the sun) nor the culture will set a good pace for them, they must now do it by conviction.

The result of not taking time to reflect on what he was getting out of life. “neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good?“

C. Why don’t we have good friends?

In 1990, just 3% of respondents reported having no close friends. Thirty years later, that number has quadrupled to 12%. In 1990, one third said they had ten or more close friends. That number has now shrunk to just over ten percent. Nearly 90% cannot name a friend for each of their fingers.

Occasionally, I see someone give a cry for help on FB for friends. Many people will tell them to find a church. However, I am aware that many will attend a church and not see its potential and many will attend a church and will not be seen. What a tragedy in a time in history that boasts of our constant connection to one another.

Three great walls to climb (Given b Drew Hunter in his book; Made for Friendship)

Three aspects of modern culture create unique barriers to deep relationships: busyness, technology, and mobility. . . . These unique barriers can weave together in a very isolating way for us. They encircle us like a rope barrier and keep true friendship out of reach. We may overpower one or two of these strands, but as the saying goes, a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Busyness

We fill our schedules so full that friendship feels like a luxury we just can’t afford.

One of the great services we do for our spouse is help them build margins in their lives for other people.

Not just the other people that need them, but the people we know they need in their lives.

Technology

Two groups do not see technology as a real threat to meaning relationships.

Those to whom it is not a real threat; looking to the older population.

Those whose life is being smothered by their phone but are oblivious to how much they are missing every time they look down.

Mobility

It’s harder to build real, lasting friendships in places where people are frequently moving away and moving on.

Many options to ignore the person in front of us and go to the next conversation.

Transitional Statement: Africa Proverb”"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." Solomon says if you want to arrive someone empty than go by yourself. If you want to have a full life, take people with you.

II. What do we miss by going it alone?

A. Main Thesis: "Two are better than one."

Ecclesiastes 4:9 “9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.”

"Two are better than one" – The foundational truth of community.

Why? Life together provides a greater reward than going it alone.

Contrast with v. 8, where labor without companionship is an “unhappy business”

A good friend can help steady you when you stumble.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 “10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”

Isolation means no one to provide aid in moments of weakness. / Life alert commercials; I have fallen and I can’t get up.

Jesus provides an example in sending His disciples two by two (Mark 6:7).

The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother; his own heart is uncertain, his brother's is sure.

In shared company, the heart finds warmth.

Ecclesiastes 4:11 “11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?”

In a metaphorical sense, this reflects the warmth of mutual encouragement and presence in life’s struggles.

Emotional and spiritual coldness comes from separation, while community brings warmth.

A member of a certain church, who previously had been attending services regularly, stopped going. After a few weeks, the pastor decided to visit him. It was a chilly evening. The pastor found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire. Guessing the reason for his pastor’s visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a big chair near the fireplace and waited. The pastor made himself comfortable but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the play of the flames around the burning logs. After some minutes, the pastor took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone. Then he sat back in his chair, still silent. The host watched all this in quiet fascination. As the one lone ember’s flame diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and “dead as a doornail.”

Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting. Just before the pastor was ready to leave, he picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it.

As the pastor reached the door to leave, his host said, “Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the fiery sermon. I shall be back in church next Sunday.”

We are better together.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 “12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Vulnerability of one person alone – easy to overpower.

Strength in two – mutual defense in adversity.

Ultimate security in three – a triple-braided cord signifies a strong, God-centered community. If two is good, three is better.

Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love; the fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above.

C. How do we position our lives and hearts to not miss what God has for us in respect to meaningful relationships?

We must be willing to be admonished/ taught along the way.

Ecclesiastes 4:13 “13 Better is a poor and a wise child than an old and foolish king, who will no more be admonished.”

The king represents stubborn isolation—he no longer listens to counsel.

The youth, though poor, is wise because he remains teachable

The wise person remains open to guidance rather than isolating themselves in arrogance.

Proverbs 12:15 “15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.”

We must willing to set aside our status when we walk into the room or a relationship.

Ecclesiastes 4:14 “14 For out of prison he cometh to reign; whereas also he that is born in his kingdom becometh poor.”

Power and status often breed self-sufficiency, cutting people off from wisdom and community.

Your success in life, may be to your detriment. / Those born on third and think they hit a triple are hard to be around.

Recognize as we replaced others we to will be replaced.

Ecclesiastes 4:15“15 I considered all the living which walk under the sun, with the second child that shall stand up in his stead.”

The young man with the new and exciting upstart that came from nothing makes a more exciting story.

He is better than the old guard for many reasons.

However, the end of his life will be the same as the first man; empty and replaced.

The pursuit of personal legacy is a poor investment.

Ecclesiastes 4:16“16 There is no end of all the people, even of all that have been before them: they also that come after shall not rejoice in him. Surely this also is vanity and vexation of spirit.”

No end to the crowd around this rising star

Walt Disney said about being popular, “As far as I can remember, being a celebrity has never helped me make a good picture...or command the obedience of my daughter, or impress my wife. It doesn't even seem to help keep fleas off our dog, and if being a celebrity won't give one an advantage over a couple fleas, then I guess there can't be that much in being a celebrity after all.”

How many generations of my grandkids will know my name and rejoice in it?

If they do know my name how will that help them with the real problems of their lives, the ones that are greater than fleas on the dog. How will it help the with their burden of sin?

There is only one legacy or name we should concern our lives with; the name and fame of Jesus.

Transitional Statement: Besides being right, living for Jesus creates a special bond between friends. If we are living solely for personal game and fame, we are not very concerned about the good of those around us. Living for God frees us to be the best type of friend.

III. What should our life look like in community?

A. Evaluate the pursuits of our live.

Let me give you a math word problem. Tom is working around the clock for unnecessary, personal gain. He does not have anytime for his friends how busy is Tom? Hint: Answer starts with a Two. — Tom is too busy.

Ecclesiastes 4:8–9“8 There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail. 9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.”

Friendship is one aspect of life that the Teacher does not declare to be vanity

It is better to be faithful than famous.

Are we feeling the good, effects of real friendships?

Are you helping carry other’s burdens and enjoying the help you are receiving?

Are you experiencing the warmth of real friendship or are you settling for just friendly relationships at a distance?

Do you know the joy of knowing people have your back?

Do you typically think in terms of “How am I doing?” or in terms of “How are we doing?

B. We need a Gospel-centered perspective concerning friendship

Christ as the ultimate fulfillment of this passage:

He did not work for selfish gain but for the salvation of many. John 17:4

He did not isolate Himself but walked in deep fellowship with His disciples John 15:15 “15 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.”

His life was not about seeking status but about serving others (Philippians 2:5–8“5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”

The New Testament Church models this community (Acts 2:42-47), demonstrating:

Acts 2:42–47“42 And they continued stedfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. 43 And fear came upon every soul: and many wonders and signs were done by the apostles. 44 And all that believed were together, and had all things common; 45 And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need. 46 And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, 47 Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.”

Shared labor – working together in ministry.

Mutual support – lifting one another up in hardship. Galatians 6:2 “2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”

Spiritual warmth – encouraging one another in the faith. Hebrews 10:24–25

Unified strength – standing together in spiritual battles.

C. We long for meaningful relationships, because we were designed to have them.

To experience friendship with fellow humans, we need to live at a pace that is human. Hebrews 3:13“13 But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.”

Find time and space to share for others. Romans 1:12 “12 That is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me.”

Paul was an early adapter of the paper and pen. He used that technology well.

Paul was always speaking about his desire to see people face to face.

Discover the value of staying.

This is not just an encouragement to put roots where you are.

This is an encouragement to stay a little longer in the conversation.

This is an encouragement to stay in a friendship even when it gets hard. - Always said I have enjoyed my relationships with my brother-in-laws because no matter how weird we might think each other are we are committed to each other. Glad for many “ride or die” friends.

Conclusion: Two is better than one. Let us thank God for the good gift of meaningful friendships.

God did not create us in a way to live life in isolation. It is not good.

Never once did we ever walk alone Never once did You leave us on our own You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Friendships come at a cost.

Proverbs 18:24 “24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

early morning flight to the airport

leaf blower that never gets returned

shared sadness and sorrow; we attend more funerals the ore friends we have

However, two is better than one. It is worth it.

Believer: Think upon these things.

You will never find a friend like Jesus.

Proverbs 18:24 “24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

He knows you and knows the cost that would be paid for you two to be friends.

He knows that you came from more than different side of the tracks; you are a sinner and He is a Savior

He is the One that has been pursuing a relationship with you while you stay so busy with other people and other goals in life.

If you are here today, there is still time to respond.