Godly Courtship: 10 Principles for Dating

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Isaiah 4:1 KJV
1 And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.

Godly Courtship: 10 Principles for Dating

The sermon aims to teach that a dating relationship should be approached with a commitment to holiness and God's principles.
It emphasizes that dating is not just about companionship but about seeking to honor God in all interactions and decisions.
This sermon can guide Christians in their dating relationships, emphasizing the need for purity, mutual respect, and a focus on God's holiness. It addresses common struggles in dating, such as temptation and emotional baggage, by reinforcing the idea that a relationship should reflect Christ's love and character.
Summary: In Isaiah 6, we see Isaiah's calling and the holiness of God, prompting a response of reverence and purity in our relationships. Isaiah 4:1-6 describes a future where God's presence brings healing and restoration, indicating the importance of a foundation built on God's sanctuary in our relationships.
In this chapter, seven women seek to be associated with one man to remove their shame

Singleness. This term includes four groups of people, each with some similar issues but also unique problems and areas of concern: the never-married, the separated, the divorced, and the widowed. Their numbers are increasing rapidly, from 4 million in 1950 to an estimated 20 million in 1982. Social factors influence this greatly. It is now more acceptable for women to pursue their own interests, including attending college (in 1960 there were 1.2 million women in college as compared with 3.5 million in 1972), which tends to delay marriage.

There are advantages to being single. Frequently there is an increased mobility, freedom, and psychological and social autonomy. Singles often build sustaining friendships and support structures. They generally have more time to devote to career opportunities and other interests. Adams (1976) cites three factors that determine healthy singleness: economic independence, social and psychological autonomy, and the preference to remain single.

economic independence, social and psychological autonomy, and the preference to remain single.

There are also disadvantages to being single, not all of which are experienced by every single. Some have an unfulfilled desire for children and a family of their own. Others report isolation, loneliness, insecurity, or lack of social status. Peer and social pressures to marry abound. Some social policies favor the married

Men who are single tend to be less intimate in their friendships with other men than single women are in their friendships with other women. However, single women tend to be more isolated than single men. Isolation and lack of intimacy are often a result of a lack of support and care structures, combined with the stereotypes of society and role expectations

Ok you Ready for The Rules?
Married folk sit back and learn something
Rule #1: THERE MUST BE PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
Vernon, R.A.. Dr. R.A. Vernon’s 10 Rules of Dating (Function). Kindle Edition. Says:
We cannot escape the reality that some things tend to be more important to men than women and vice versa. My research concludes that the first thing that draws you to someone is how good they look to you, not how spiritual they are.
If the average single man, Christian or not, is walking down the street, he does not look at a woman and say “Man! Look at the Holy Spirit on her!” The first thing he normally notices is her figure and her face. If he’s not physically attracted to her, then he’s probably not going to approach her to find out if she is a believer, unless of course, he’s just out evangelizing.
Genesis 12:11 NLT
11 As he was approaching the border of Egypt, Abram said to his wife, Sarai, “Look, you are a very beautiful woman.
Genesis 26:7 NLT
7 When the men who lived there asked Isaac about his wife, Rebekah, he said, “She is my sister.” He was afraid to say, “She is my wife.” He thought, “They will kill me to get her, because she is so beautiful.”
Both Abram and his son Isaac referred to their own wives as beautiful. Notice I said their “own wives” because beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. The only opinion that matters when it comes to whether someone who you’re interested in is physically attractive is yours.
Depending On Culture and other ethnic Mindsets can help your direction of attraction.
I know men who are only attracted to heavier women. I know other brothers who only like slender women.
Some women love dark men, others lighter-skinned men. Some love a tall glass water, Some want them as old as there father or as young as there son.
The big point is this: get what you like and don’t compromise.
Date someone with the figure and the face that you need to be satisfied physically.
Genesis 29:16–18 NLT
16 Now Laban had two daughters. The older daughter was named Leah, and the younger one was Rachel. 17 There was no sparkle in Leah’s eyes, but Rachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face. 18 Since Jacob was in love with Rachel, he told her father, “I’ll work for you for seven years if you’ll give me Rachel, your younger daughter, as my wife.”
Some advice:
Never get caught outside in a store, carwash, tax office unkept.
Take care of yourself Ladies & Gentlemen, nails, hair, face etc
Eat healthy ( if you want children and your not taking care of yourself it will hinder them)
Exercise
Rule #2: THEY MUST LOVE JESUS
Vernon, R.A.. Dr. R.A. Vernon’s 10 Rules of Dating says
Our first and foremost goal is to get you to fall in love with Jesus Christ. He is ultimately the only One who can and will fill the void that so often singles try to fill with a person, or in some cases, persons.
We are not suggesting that you should not desire the love of another; however, the love that Jesus Christ can give you greatly surpasses the capacity that any earthly being has to love you. Secondly, we hope that by the end of this teaching, you understand the importance of loving Jesus Christ and make knowing Him, Serving him & Submitted to Jesus Christ as a prerequisite for anyone you date.
Thus, Rule 2 is: They must LOVE Jesus
Notice I didn’t say, “They must go to church.” The devil goes to church and unlike many Christians, he gets there on time and never misses. Just in case you don’t finish hearing other eight rules in this teaching, make sure you at least get this!
Don’t date anyone who does not love Jesus more than they love you.
One Of the Biggest Problems I see with Single Saved Women is, they have a DYI spirit. Someone told them that they are the called by God to fix and save men.
If I had a dollar for how many sisters wanted to take my testimony and through it on the prospect of a husband they choose. I would have a few coins.
You Don’t need a man or women that resembles you parents, or your pastor and first lady, You want them to resemble Jesus Christ.
Amos 3:3 NLT
3 Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?
Whats also interesting is when a Christian isn’t able to discern where a potential person you are going to marry is Spiritually.
Prayer Life
Knowledge of the Word
Stewardship: Serving, Sowing & Submission to Godly leadership
Soul Winning Capabilities
Please listen to me when I tell you that there is no woman sexy enough, no man rich enough, and no house big enough to take the place of an authentic relationship with Christ.
What happens if my little daughter gets fatally sick and I don’t have a praying spouse?
What happens if I get diagnosed with something deadly and I don’t have a spouse who is at least familiar with God enough to feel comfortable interceding on my behalf?
What happens if I am traveling on business and somebody better looking than me approaches my spouse and makes them an offer they don’t have the POWER to refuse?
Vernon, R.A.. Dr. R.A. Vernon’s 10 Rules of Dating (Function). Kindle Edition.
It takes knowing Jesus and being Spirit-filled to reject the enemy’s schemes, and trust me; he is coming for your marriage!
Vernon, R.A.. Dr. R.A. Vernon’s 10 Rules of Dating (Function). Kindle Edition.
1 Peter 5:8–9 NLT
8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9 Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.
Just as it is important that a person you are considering marrying be in love with Jesus, the same applies for you,
Some People are in love with the idea of marriage but not in Love With Jesus
spiritual compatibility, on any level, is critical in marriage.
We Can say with confidence that marriage is the most difficult relationship you will ever have to maintain. Being with one person forever is not natural; it is supernatural—a spiritual discipline that takes a lifetime to perfect. You better be pretty sure the person is worth it before you choose.
Vernon, R.A.. Dr. R.A. Vernon’s 10 Rules of Dating (Function). Kindle Edition.
Notice Peter says, “Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith.” My question is, how can the person you’re married to stand strong, when they have no faith? What’s going to keep them from jumping on you, cheating on you, or cursing you out? I know you’re thinking that the thing that should and would keep them from doing all the horrific stuff above would be the ”love” that they have for you.
The problem is if they are not believers, they don’t possess the kind of love that only a relationship with Christ can foster.
Romans 5:3–5 AMP
3 Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. 4 And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation. 5 Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3–5 TPT
3 But that’s not all! Even in times of trouble we have a joyful confidence, knowing that our pressures will develop in us patient endurance. 4 And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope. 5 And this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us!
Can You triumph in your troubles & rejoice in your sufferings?
Pressures will develop in us patient endurance
2. Patient Endurance refines our character
3. Proven Character Leads us back to hope
RULE 3: THERE MUST BE COMPATIBILITY AND CONNECTIVITY
As important as it is to have Christ in common as a couple, it’s not enough. If I consider a person to be a potential spouse, we have to be able to talk about more than the Bible. We have to be able to connect on several levels.
Vernon, R.A.. Dr. R.A. Vernon’s 10 Rules of Dating (Function). Kindle Edition.
Singles Ask yourself this question Can he or she Stimulate me Intellectually & Emotionally?
What do you have in Common, besides loving y’all some Jesus?
There will be some things about whomever you choose to marry that will drive you nuts at times.
That’s why you have to make sure there is enough connection and compatibility to offset the things that will surely irritate you.
Get to know the person’s likes, dislikes, and idiosyncrasies.
Ask all the questions you can think of. Remember, for you, dating is an assignment.
You’re trying to figure out as fast as you can if this person has the potential to be your spouse. Start your investigation immediately.
questions to ask:
How Important is marriage to you?
Is your parents married?
How many married couples in your blood line?
What qualities would you want in your Spouse?
You must ask yourself right away (no matter how physically attractive the person may be), “Can she excite me mentally for the rest of my life and if not, is that a deal breaker?”
If it is a deal breaker , quickly end the relationship and wait for God’s person to come along.
Questions For Single Congregation: Whats a deal breaker for you?
Rule 4: DISCUSS EACH OTHER’S PAST
RULE 5: DISCUSS CHILDREN
Like it or not, in the 21st century, the average single person in their mid-twenties or older already has at least one child,
RULE 6: TALK ABOUT MONEY
Do you know that issues related to money are one of the foremost causes for divorce in the country? Most people decide to get married without a concrete financial plan. For one reason or another, they neglect to talk about the interpersonal dynamics related to money;
RULE 7: PACE YOURSELF/ SLOW DOWN
RULE 8: ENGAGE OR DISENGAGE
There comes a point in Christian dating where you have to decide if you and the person you’re with are going to get engaged.
There is only one reason a Christian should be dating. Christians date to get married. We don’t “play” date! Fooling around in the dating department will only lead to premarital sex.
1 Thessalonians 4:3 KJV
3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

especially Jesus, condemned.

fornication. Sexual intercourse involving persons who are not married to each other. *Christian ethics condemns both promiscuity and casual sexual relations, that is, relations that lack any formal commitment. Such acts are considered demeaning and depersonalizing. They also violate God’s intention for human sexual expression.

RULE 9: GO TO COUNSELING
RULE 10: DON’T TOUCH
Because of my profession of working with DOC Inmates, I was trained to study behaviors and patterns. I watch sisters/wives come to church with spirits resting on them like: pain, brokenness, weariness, unsatisfaction & Loneliness.
And Brothers carry spirits as well some times they just better at suppressing it. ( I dare you to look at a brother right now and ask him what are you suppressing? )
Most Sista’s bring it to the alter, most men keep carrying it. Until they burn out…He can be the nicest man but Burnt
Single Sisters, Do you have the capacity to discern, intercede & resuscitate a brother who is at the verge of giving up? Eve’s Words hold life to Men..
Married Men, can you discern when you have neglected your wife in areas of her needs.
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