Forgive Us

Bottom line

It is time to put down the weight

Opening Line

I’m going to get Jonah to come up for a little opening illustration.

Introduction

Jonah, you’ve been going to the gym lately. How much are you benching right now? Respond. So if I give you this little 2.5 kg weight to hold onto, that shouldn’t be a problem, right? Respond. Ok, well I don’t want it to be too easy, so I want you to hold it arms straight in front of you. I’d do it, but I have to preach and you look stronger then me. So what I’m going to do is start a timer on my watch, and when you are done, let me know. You don’t have to do anything crazy, if it gets to be too much, just go down. I think you could probably last half way through the sermon, but no pressure. No matter what happens, I am going to thank you for your participation.

Now even though it is just a little weight, how many of you know that slowly but surely, that thing is going to start feeling heavier and heavier? If I asked him to curl that or do some reps, he could probably go for quite a while. But holding it like that gets tiring because there are so many things at play. Eventually, his arms are going to start to burn, then the question isn’t how heavy the weight is, its how much of that burning can you take? Eventually, the problem isn’t the 2.5 kg, its the pain his body is enduring.

Main Point

This is what happens when you are unwilling to forgive. It doesn’t matter how big the offense is, it doesn’t matter the scale of what happened. The truth is that the longer you hold onto it, the greater the pain becomes.

Why it matters

The Apostle Paul put it this way.

Ephesians 4:26–27 NLT

And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

blank

Anger, bitterness, disdain; they all find their roots in an unwillingness to forgive. When you hold onto things, it gives the devil access into your life, and what he begins to do is fill your mind with lies. The longer you hold onto it, the more lies you begin to believe, soon the source of the pain you feel isn’t the original offense, but the lies that you’re spiritual enemy has fed you.

Now I was clear to Jonah. You can stop anytime, and I will thank you and appreciate you for helping out. But the devil gets in there and starts planting thoughts like, “What will everyone think of you if you quit to soon?” As the pain increases, “Why won’t Matt let me stop?” Then it begins to grow, “Why isn’t Michelle doing anything? Why aren’t my parents doing anything? Why isn’t someone from the church stepping in? Why is God letting this happen?” What started as a simple request, something that he willingly signed up for, something that he could stop at any time, has created pain, an opportunity for lies, and has scaled to a point of almost ridiculousness.

Many of you are holding onto past hurts, and it is causing you unnecessary amounts of pain. This morning, I want you to see that if you want to stop hurting, it starts with putting the offense down.

Scripture

We are going to read the Lord’s Prayer together. As a reminder, the reason we are reading this version is because it is good to update the language. No one, I assume, prays to God on a regular basis in Shakespearen English, so why would you say the most perfect prayer ever taught with vernacular you don’t regularly use.

Matthew 6:9–13 NLT

Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.

And Forgive us our sins

Colossians 2:13 NLT

You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins.

blank

This is the hope of every believer. This is the good news for the world, that Jesus came into this world, to die a sinner’s death so that you could be forgiven. And the forgiveness of God is not partial but complete. It is so complete that it actually makes you into a new person, the old is crucified with Christ. Your past, your mistakes, every sin you have ever committed, great or small, is forgiven by the blood of the lamb.

If you are honest, as a believer, this is the part you are banking on. Washed white as snow. But there is two parts to forgiveness. On one hand, at the moment of salvation, your debt is paid and you are now a son or daughter of God Most High. On the other hand, if you continue to sin, it begins to put a strain on your relationship with him. Just like if my kids rebel and break all the rules of my house. They never stop being my kids, but it is sure going to put a strain on our relationship. Same concept with God, which is why Jesus is reminding us to ask for God’s forgiveness daily.

Why daily? Look

Matthew 6:11–12 NLT

Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.

It is the recognition that everything that follows verse 11 is a daily request. Daily you need food. Daily you need forgiveness. Daily you need strength to overcome temptation. Daily.

As We Have Forgiven Those Who Sin Against Us

Interesting point here. At the start of the prayer, it says, “May your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” Put another way, you are asking that earth becomes a reflection of what is happening in heaven. This part of the prayer is the reversal. Now the prayer is, God, may your forgiveness of me be a reflection of my ability to forgive here on earth.” Now if that makes your a little uncomfortable, hold on, I’m just getting started.

Matthew 6:14–15 NLT

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

blank

Isn’t it interesting that of all the parts of the prayer Jesus taught, this is the part he repeats. There is something so deeply important going on here that Jesus wants to make sure that you and I don’t miss it. If you are willing to forgive, than God is willing to forgive you. If you are unwilling to forgive, then you don’t understand what has been accomplished for you and God can’t forgive you. Two weeks I made the statement that God is terrifyingly fair. If you want to pursue your own will, then God will let you. Same thing applies here. If you forgive, then God will forgive. If you won’t, fair is fair, you won’t be forgiven.

Jesus uses an analogy to to help us understand this.

Matthew 18:21–27 NLT

Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt. “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

blank

Millions is a weak translation here. The more accurate translation is 10,000 talents. One talent was about 6,000 denarii, or twenty years wages. This guy had some how racked up 200,000 years worth of wages in debt. Jesus is obviously using hyperbole to make his point. The debt is completely unpayable. There’s a good chance that one talent would have been a tall task to repay, let alone 10,000 of them.

Before we get to the next part, I want to make sure you all understand a very important piece here. This is a picture of the Kingdom of Heaven. Who does the King represent? God. Who is the person with the unpayable debt? You. Your sin has put you in an insurmountable hole, where if the king does not extend mercy towards you, hell awaits you. You are the forgiven servant. This is important so that you don’t miss the significance of what happens next.

Matthew 18:28–30 NLT

“But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

blank

This is what unforgiveness looks like. The other servant owed him 100 denarii, or 100 days worth of wages. Still a significant amount, but less then pennies of what the first had racked up. Because he can’t pay, he throws in prison until he can. Odd because he can’t make money in prison.

But this is what unforgiveness does. You replay the scenario in your brain, you begin to want something back. You want your pound of flesh or you day dream of getting even. You may not physically imprison the person, but you certainly imprison them in your mind.

Matthew 18:31–35 NLT

“When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

blank

Forgive us as we forgive those who sin against us. Are you starting to see that forgiveness is a big deal for God? Your Heavenly Father sent his only begotten Son, the second member of the Trinity to earth, to die for you so that you could be forgiven. You need to understand the immense price paid. When you are unwilling to forgive, it is a cosmic slap in the face.

I have another story for you.

Luke 17:3–5 NLT

So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” The apostles said to the Lord, “Show us how to increase our faith.”

blank

Even if the person sins against you 7 times a day, you must forgive them every time. You know that after the fifth time you’re not buying the apology, but Jesus doesn’t say the apology needs to be genuine. If they ask, you forgive.

So the disciples say, “Give us more faith.” How many of you have used that excuse? I would forgive them, but I just don’t have enough faith at the moment to do it. I really do want to forgive, but I’m waiting for Jesus to increase my faith. If you have ever said that, here’s what Jesus has for you.

Luke 17:6–10 NLT

The Lord answered, “If you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘May you be uprooted and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you! “When a servant comes in from plowing or taking care of sheep, does his master say, ‘Come in and eat with me’? No, he says, ‘Prepare my meal, put on your apron, and serve me while I eat. Then you can eat later.’ And does the master thank the servant for doing what he was told to do? Of course not. In the same way, when you obey me you should say, ‘We are unworthy servants who have simply done our duty.’ ”

blank

What is Jesus saying? He’s saying that this is not an issue of faith, but obedience. You don’t need more faith. If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could move mountains. No this is a matter of obedience. The God of Heaven, through his one and only son, has taught you to forgive those who sin against you. If God has told you to forgive, you forgive. You don’t forgive when you feel like, you don’t forgive when you believe you have the faith to do it, you forgive when the wrong happens because that is what Jesus taught you to do.

Transition to Application

Is it going to be easy? No, but the truth is that a lot of what Jesus teaches isn’t easy or in some cases even possible in our own strength. This is why, when you declare Jesus as your Lord and Savior, He gives you the Holy Spirit. Then it isn’t about what you are able to do, it becomes what He is able to do through you.

I understand that sometimes forgiveness is a process, and that is OK. Like most things when it comes to faith and life, if there is a willingness and a humility to commit to getting better, God can use it. If you just flat out refuse to forgive, refuse to stop sinning, refuse to submit, then God will allow you to go your own way and suffer the consequences.

Main To Do

So how do we work out forgiveness? I wish I could tell you that you could just pray about it and the pain would stop. Sometimes it does happen like that, but other times, it is the process of healing that actually makes you stronger. But there are steps you can follow if you truly want to forgive someone who has hurt you.

1. Pray

But there are layers to this prayer. First you pray that God would forgive your unforgiveness. You start by recognizing that holding onto this offense for as long as you have is a sin against your Heavenly Father and deal with that. Second, you about that Jesus show you the truth of what happened. Ask Jesus to remove the lies you’ve started to believe, and the longer you’ve held on, the more of them there will be. There may be lies about who was involved, there may be people you’ve invited into your offense, and there may be lies about your involvement or lack there of that led to the situation. The truth will set you free, so ask Jesus to shine his truth and remove the lies. Finally, pray for the person who hurt you.

2. Do Good to Them

I know this may be hard, but Jesus tells you to love your enemies, and do good to those who hate you. Even if it is just a simple, “Hi,” when you walk by them. Any good deed will help you along in your healing and forgiving.

3. Bless Them

Luke 6:28 NLT

Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.

blank

It may be hard to do, but you pray for them, asking God to move in their life in a way only He can. As you pray for their wellbeing, you begin to heal. The pain stops, the healing begins.

Why it matters

If you want to stop hurting, if you want past hurts and offenses to stop holding you back, it is time to put it down. It is time to do the things that will actually lead to health and wholeness. I know that some of you are unable to grow in your faith because you have been unable to forgive. I know that there are people who have left the church because they are holding onto offense.

Psalm 31:10 NLT

I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness. Sin has drained my strength; I am wasting away from within.

blank

This is the consequence if you don’t put the weight down. Slowly but surely, it will drain you. It will slowly kill you from within. Everyday you refuse to forgive is another day that the devil wins and holds you back. Just like the 2.5kg, eventually the weight would begin to do more damage then good.

Closing Line

Jesus died so that you could be forgiven. Don’t let something from your past rob you of the freedom you were meant to experience.

Discussion Questions

What stood out from the message?

What specific examples of past hurts are you holding onto that may be causing you pain?

In what ways can refusing to forgive affect your relationship with God?

How might your friends benefit from hearing about your journey to forgiveness?

What steps can you take this week to begin the process of forgiveness in a situation you are facing?