The Secret Sauce
Unshakable • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Transcript
Handout
Shout out to the kids team in the back — we love you thank you for everything you do!
Connection
Start today by thinking about your closest relationships. Have you ever stopped and asked, what does God want for me in these relationships? How does God expect me to behave?
If you’re not a follower of Jesus — how can I behave to get the most out of the relationship?
New Series — Unshakable
I want to help you build unshakable relationships in your life. All your relationships.
And today the principle I am going to bring the Apostle Paul in to teach about is going to seem — at first — like it applies to only married folk. But if you won’t dismiss me and stay with us for the journey you’ll find that value in this principle even if you’re not married.
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Marriage is complicated and theres A LOT of tension in it at times. It very hard to manage then you add kids in and it compounds the problems we face.
Paul actually has a solution for it…
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
Let us pray.
jk jk. Now, I don’t know the context at which you grew up or what your experience was with church related to marriage. For some of us in the room this is all you were taught as a women in the church.
Hush — the men are talking and the men are in charge in the church and in your households. You should put up with some bad situations b/c God expects you to. Look it’s right here.
There’s a problem with that and it’s that logic uses something called “proof texting” or taking the Bible out of context. And a few weeks ago we learned of someone else who does that didn’t we?
Anyone remember? That’s right Satan.
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Truth
In order to truly see what the Lord wants from us in our most intimate relationships we need to jump back just one verse as Paul sets the tone for the entire discourse.
This isn’t sexy. This isn’t going to get a bunch of instagram clicks, but this is what your relationship needs.
Now this doesn’t just apply to marriages this applies to all relationships. If you look at the verses before 15-20 >>> these are instructions to Christian living.
15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,
16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.
18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,
19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord,
20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Verse 21 is a bridge between the two areas of your life — public and private.
In other words — in all relationships…
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
At first this seems ridiculous, but it’s not.
Listen — it simply means putting the other person first. That’s what we see Jesus do every single time.
Woman at the well — woman caught in adultery — Peter after denies Jesus — mother when he is on the cross — washing the disciples feet the night of his betrayal.
Jesus always put the other person first.
Put them first.
If it’s not good for her - don’t.
If it’s not good for him - don’t.
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Paul expands on this in the context of the marital relationship.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Now ladies I now what you’re thinking — how ancient — how archaic — how offensive. And again on the surface sure it seems that way but watch what else Paul does — hang with me.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
These words might seem novel to us but the truth of the matter is that these were groundbreaking in his day and if you’ll give me a second, I am going to make the argument that they are for our day as well.
Lets zero in on this word love. 4 different greek words for love which means we can learn exactly what the author means b/c we know for fact what each of these mean.
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The four types of love in the Greek language are:
1.Eros (ἔρως)
- This is romantic or passionate love.
- It represents physical attraction and desire between individuals.
- Often associated with romance, but it can also be more superficial in nature, focusing on physical beauty or attraction.
2. Philia (φιλία)
- This is brotherly or friendship love.
- It refers to a deep bond between close friends, family members, or companions.
- It embodies loyalty, trust, and mutual respect.
3. Storge (στοργή)
- This is familial love.
- It describes the natural affection between parents and their children or among family members.
- It’s a protective and nurturing type of love.
4. Agape (ἀγάπη)
- This is unconditional, selfless love.
- Often described as the highest form of love, it’s characterized by a willingness to put others’ needs above one’s own.
- In Christian theology, it’s often associated with God’s love for humanity and the love we are called to show to one another.
In this passage love is the agapao or agape…
John 3:16 — Pauls says that’s the type of love that husbands are supposed to have for their wives. The point of this passage is husbands are to love their wife with the same vigor that Jesus loved all of us… what does Paul remind us? Jesus gave himself up for all of us.
In other words —
Put her first. All the time.
This is what it means to be a husband. Gentlemen, your role is not to make her submit to you. Your role is to be somebody worth submitting to.
Ladies…
Put him first. All the time.
This is what it means to be a wife.
Ladies, your role is not to make him be Christ-like in his love towards you. Your role is to respect him.
When we do this we create a relationship built on agape love.
I was taught this as the principle of Mutual Voluntary Submission
As someone who doesn’t like to submit at all… this is so hard. I don’t always get it right. But I can tell you, when I do our marriage is better.
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Application
So, what this look like daily?
Is this good for her - really?
Is this good for him - really?
Is what I am about to do — say — text about to send — thing I’m about to buy — person I am about to talk to…
Believe me I understand the tension and how hard this is. But let’s be honest, wouldn’t most of your fights, drama or problems in your marriage or relationships be avoided if you both asked this question? If you started with this before you do the thing (text, say the words, buy the thing)
This is all about putting their needs first, why? B/c that’s what Jesus did for you and as a follower of Jesus we strive to be like him.
Put her first — Put him first.
Watch what happens in your relationships.
Questions
Questions
What does the Apostle Paul teach about mutual submission in relationships?
How can the principle of putting others first be applied in your friendships?
Why is it important to consider what is good for the other person in a relationship?
How can understanding the different types of love enhance our relationships?
What examples from Jesus' life illustrate the principle of putting others first?
How can you personally apply the principle of mutual submission in your daily interactions?
What are some practical steps you can take to ensure you are acting in the best interest of your partner or loved ones?
