GEM - Opening Banquet

Welcome - Business items

Good afternoon - and thank you all for being here.

I am going to pray in just a moment for our food, but before I do, I want to make you aware of a couple of things.

1. Ice Breaker

While we eat, we are going to have a quick ice breaker at your table with your mentors.

We are giving the groom at most, 3 minutes to tell his version of the engagement story.

After that, the bride-to-be will add in any details that she feels to be important.

Then, the mentors will do the same.

2. Workbook Curriculum

This afternoon, we will cover session 1 from the workbook, but will not follow that explicitly.

For the student guides, you already have the “blanks” filled in your book, so you won’t need to worry about missing any of those as we go through things today.

If it helps you to have it pulled up on your phone or computer, please do so.

Because today isn’t a typical pre-marital meeting with your mentor, there will be several passages in the workbook for you to study on your own.

Take some time after this session to walk through those passages with your fiancé and answer the questions.

As you do that, and for the duration of the class, make notes if you come across something that you don’t understand - or if you have questions.

Then you can discuss these with your mentors.

Have this mentality the whole time!

We want you to wrestle with the passages and the concepts - so that you can grow.

There will be conflict along the way - I can promise you that.

That isn’t a bad thing.

This will provide you an opportunity to walk through conflict with your mentors guiding you - and will hopefully give you some good tools to use in marriage.

Food

We are having Hartt’s BBQ for our food today, and despite the BBQ in their name, their repertoire of food offerings is pretty vast - so you should connect with them to cater your wedding! ;)

Pray

Pray for food

Pray for session

Pray for mentors and engaged couples to develop a great relationship that would prepare these couples for marriage.

Ice Breaker

Take 15 minutes - timer will be set!

Introduction

Opening Illustration about marriage

A Tale of two marriages

Adam and Carolina

Zeke and Luna

The Three “F’s” of GEM. 

Foundation: “the natural or prepared ground or base on which some structure rests.”

We aim to help you establish a solid foundation on which your marriage will be built. 

Fortify: “to protect or strengthen against attack; surround or provide with defensive military works.”

We aim to help you fortify your relationship by identifying the potential pitfalls that most (if not all) couples face in marriage.

First-love: Your primary love in your life MUST be Jesus - not your fiancé/spouse.

We aim to help you remember your First-love! Christ is the one who should occupy the highest throne in your life.

Jesus is your savior, not your spouse…

Don’t be like the church at Ephesus that abandoned their first love - Christ!

Keys to success (not just in GEM… In marriage)

Be teachable!

Come into the meetings with your mentor hoping to learn something.

Abandon the idea that you’re probably good - there’s nothing new you can glean. 

Be honest (with yourself and others)!

There is going to be a tendency to assess yourself and your relationship with rose colored glasses on. 

You need to take a few steps back and try as best as you can to look at this objectively. 

We all have blind spots and they are called blind spots for a reason - hopefully we will be able to help you recognize them. 

Be committed!

You will only get out of this what you are willing to put into it.

Show up each week.

Do the homework.

Finish the class.

Make this a priority, not an afterthought. 

Don’t waste your time or your mentor’s time

Be on guard!

You will talk about sex and intimacy with your mentor, which will likely be a source of temptation. Be wise!

We want to say this up front: you may have slept together already - perhaps you are doing so now. 

Sexual involvement before you get married is forbidden in scripture for a host of reasons. 

Premarital sex will produce a fog in your heart and mind that will hinder you from rightly assessing your relationship - which then sets you up for failure in your marriage. 

There is something about obedience that opens us up to truly hear from the Lord as He seeks to speak into our lives. 

All that said, if premarital sexual involvement is part of your past relationships, or if that’s something that you have done (or are doing currently) together, I want you to know this:

God’s grace covers that if you’re in Christ. He can heal and is able to bring redemption into that part of your story.

If you’re actively doing that, you need to repent and establish healthy rhythms in your relationship.

Definition of a Gospel Equipped Marriage

A Gospel Equipped Marriage is a Christian marriage, ordered according to God’s Word, empowered by the Holy Spirit, focused on God’s mission, saturated with the joy of the Lord.

Some of the attributes of a Gospel Equipped Marriage:

It is between one Christian man and one Christian woman (Gen. 1:27)

A Life-long covenant (Matt 19:6)

A voluntary union (1 Cor 7:12-16)

Sexually committed exclusively to one another (in all forms) (1 Cor 7:1-5)

Committed to raising children in the fear of the Lord (even those who cannot have children. It can be accomplished through adoption, or even through spiritual children that you disciple) (Gen 1:28)

It clearly displays God’s mercy, grace, and love (Eph 5:22-33)

It brings joy and fulfillment (Prov 5:18-19)

Discussion Questions:

Discussion Questions:

Mentors: What did you underestimate about the challenges of a Gospel Equipped Marriage or overestimate about your own strength to build a strong marriage?

Engaged Couples: What specific challenges do you anticipate as you prepare for a Gospel Equipped Marr?

Sacrificial love is not only a result of unified hearts and minds - it helps to further build unity. How does displaying sacrificial love build unity between a man and a woman in marriage?

Read Philippians 2:5-8 out loud at your tables.

This passage, in many ways, is the pathway by which we can achieve unity and then sacrificial love in our relationships. It is by having the mind of Christ, which is the empowering factor to the whole discussion. What do you find significant about verse 5? What do you have to do to gain the “mind of Christ?”

Jesus gave so much to serve us and draw us near - even giving up His life for us. What specific ways might we serve our spouse (or future spouse) that would follow the pattern of Jesus giving up His own life?

Make a commitment to the Lord and to your spouse to “have the mind among yourselves, which is [already] yours in Christ Jesus” to pursue unity and to display sacrificial love for one another. Spend some time praying for the Lord to empower you to do this - you will need the Holy Spirit to do so!