Accountability
Notes
Transcript
What is Accountability?
What is Accountability?
Introduction
Name
Favorite condiment
Spoke about accountability last year around this time
Few months later accepted a role on the Customer Support team at a place called “Accountable2You”
What is accountability? (I won’t actually tell you what it is, but we’ll talk about what it looks like)
Most contexts limit it
Church: to a more personal nature (accountability partners)
Workplace: more of a boss-level relationship
Problem with this is that it’s limiting
The biggest time of accountability that I had at AiG was not from a brother in Christ, nor was it from a direct supervisor.
Any guesses?
I am a bit of a provocateur, and I like instilling chaos into situations (not typically a helpful disposition)
I was in a meeting with a bunch of other leaders and I made an offensive joke
Really offensive, not because someone was a snowflake—still funny enough for some others to laugh at
Someone more mature than I am was in the meeting and pulled me aside afterward and called me out on it
Without knowing the rest of the story, what probably happened?
I felt bad
I apologized
We talked about it
They grew in confrontation skills
Most importantly, I grew
Why did that team member feel like it was appropriate to tell me that I was offensive? (remember, it wasn’t my boss, not a dude I went to church with who I was working though things with)
Maybe a unique relationship
Maybe what I said was just that cringe
A key reason they felt like they could call me out is that we had shared goals and expectations
Starting point: clear goals
Starting point: clear goals
Again, I’m not going to define it, but it feels like you need clear goals.
“Accountability begins with clear goals and expectations” -a cool book I read
What do clear goals look like in the Bible?
Example of this in Jesus sending out the 12:
Luke 9:2–6 (NRSV)
and he (Jesus) sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal. He said to them, “Take nothing for your journey, no staff, nor bag, nor bread, nor money—not even an extra tunic. Whatever house you enter, stay there, and leave from there. Wherever they do not welcome you, as you are leaving that town shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.” They departed and went through the villages, bringing the good news and curing diseases everywhere.
Parable of the faithful servants
As they were listening to this, he went on to tell a parable, because he was near Jerusalem, and because they supposed that the kingdom of God was to appear immediately. So he said, “A nobleman went to a distant country to get royal power for himself and then return. He summoned ten of his slaves, and gave them ten pounds, and said to them, ‘Do business with these until I come back.’ But the citizens of his country hated him and sent a delegation after him, saying, ‘We do not want this man to rule over us.’ When he returned, having received royal power, he ordered these slaves, to whom he had given the money, to be summoned so that he might find out what they had gained by trading. The first came forward and said, ‘Lord, your pound has made ten more pounds.’ He said to him, ‘Well done, good slave! Because you have been trustworthy in a very small thing, take charge of ten cities.’ Then the second came, saying, ‘Lord, your pound has made five pounds.’ He said to him, ‘And you, rule over five cities.’ Then the other came, saying, ‘Lord, here is your pound. I wrapped it up in a piece of cloth, for I was afraid of you, because you are a harsh man; you take what you did not deposit, and reap what you did not sow.’ He said to him, ‘I will judge you by your own words, you wicked slave! You knew, did you, that I was a harsh man, taking what I did not deposit and reaping what I did not sow? Why then did you not put my money into the bank? Then when I returned, I could have collected it with interest.’ He said to the bystanders, ‘Take the pound from him and give it to the one who has ten pounds.’ (And they said to him, ‘Lord, he has ten pounds!’) ‘I tell you, to all those who have, more will be given; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. But as for these enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them—bring them here and slaughter them in my presence.’ ”
Paul tells Timothy what to do very clearly:
I urge you, as I did when I was on my way to Macedonia, to remain in Ephesus so that you may instruct certain people not to teach any different doctrine, and not to occupy themselves with myths and endless genealogies that promote speculations rather than the divine training that is known by faith.
Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to you. Avoid the profane chatter and contradictions of what is falsely called knowledge;
He is very clear to Titus as well
Titus 1:5 (NRSV)
(says to Titus) I left you behind in Crete for this reason, so that you should put in order what remained to be done, and should appoint elders in every town, as I directed you:
Key takeaway for what accountability looks like: we agree on clear goals
That team member knew they could call me out because we had a shared goal of mutual growth in respect and godliness
Starting point: possible success
Starting point: possible success
Lincioni (or someone like him) uses the S.M.A.R.T. acronym for goals, and the A stands for attainable. You want a big goal, but you don’t want an impossible goal.
What does it look like to ensure people can do what they need to in the Bible?
I skipped a verse earlier in reading the account of Jesus sending out the 12
Then Jesus called the twelve together and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases,
Paul grounds commands in previous teaching
Colossians 1:7 (NRSV)
This you learned from Epaphras, our beloved fellow servant. He is a faithful minister of Christ on your behalf,
Other places, he even sends someone to help that equipping
I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon of the church at Cenchreae, so that you may welcome her in the Lord as is fitting for the saints, and help her in whatever she may require from you, for she has been a benefactor of many and of myself as well.
Key takeaway for what accountability looks like: expectations are reasonable.
That team member wasn’t asking that I use them as an illustration, I write a formal letter of apology or resign, they expected that I would act better than I had (based on our shared goal).
And it didn’t end there
Starting point: honest and helpful feedback
Starting point: honest and helpful feedback
What does honest and helpful feedback look like in the Bible?
Honest and helpful are important words here
Dude named Ronald Schwitze said “Servant leadership isn’t about being nice at all costs, it’s about being helpful at all costs.”
Honest and helpful—not a focus on niceness
Jesus’ leadership included feedback (we just don’t always think about it like that)
He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?”
Sometimes it was a little more direct
Now the disciples had forgotten to bring any bread; and they had only one loaf with them in the boat. And he cautioned them, saying, “Watch out—beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and the yeast of Herod.” They said to one another, “It is because we have no bread.” And becoming aware of it, Jesus said to them, “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes, and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect?” They said to him, “Twelve.” “And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect?” And they said to him, “Seven.” Then he said to them, “Do you not yet understand?”
Paul’s writings also point out areas of growth, we can see some really clear examples in his writing to Timothy
Potentially timid personality
Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
Need to relax his ascetic disciplines
No longer drink only water, but take a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.
Key takeaway for what accountability looks like: planning to, and actually following up with others, is critical to being helpful.
Book I recently read states it well: “Accountability has as its goal personal growth and individual success.”
That’s what Jesus wanted for His followers, that’s what Paul wanted for Timothy, that’s (hopefully) what your leadership want for you, and it’s probably what you want for each other.
What happened with that team member?
Grew in rapport and respect with me
I grew to be (hopefully) be more approachable and reflective
But, they also followed back up with me at a later point and recognized how the conversation went and verbalized their appreciation, and I verbalized mine.
So, what does this look like?
So, what does this look like?
Big boy quote that sounds a lot more pretentious than it really is:
“Accountability needs to be viewed as stewarding shared commitments instead of maintaining autocratic paternalism.”
Autocratic paternalism: this is what I want, and I’m the boss, so it’s what you want too.
Like the parenting style of always saying this is best for dad, so it’ll be best for little Suzy too.
I thought a good ending point would be to break down that phrase “Stewarding Shared Commitments”
I like this because it kind of answers the “Why, What, and How” of accountability
Stewarding
Stewarding
You have to treat things seriously, not because you know best, but because you care about your growth, and the growth of others. That means…
Measuring what matters
Inspecting what you expect
Giving feedback
Looking and seeking for feedback
A leadership book I recently read referred to a research study that proved pretty tangibly that few things are more damaging to a company and morale than leadership’s inability to accurately evaluate employees.
But it’s never just on leadership: you all are evaluating team members all the time, and you have the opportunity to grow with them, with each other.
Feedback is weird, but you already likely have the thoughts
When I reference that one awesome team member that is always excited and serves with the joy of God, you probably had someone come to mind.
When I mention a super reliable team member that gets things done before you even think about it getting done, a face probably popped up.
Why not tell them?
It doesn’t have to be weird, Paul did it all the time, and we can steal the way that he did it
I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, and for this reason I do not cease to give thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers.
We always give thanks to God for all of you and mention you in our prayers, constantly remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
Something that I was challenged to do last year was to copy this:
Dude, just wanted to let you know that I was praying a thanks over you and your ministry. I’m super thankful that God is doing __ in your life.
I was reflecting on your impact on the youth group, and I wanted you to know that I’ve been praying thanks for how God is giving them such a solid role model of a husband and father.
It’s not the key, there’s no special formula, but it’s good and beneficial to be dwelling on these things anyway
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth,
So why not use your time well, take responsibility for yourself and others, and provide honest and positive feedback while you seek for honest feedback as well.
Stewarding Shared Commitments
Shared
Shared
In a book called Crucial Accountability, the author recommends 3 key things to keep in mind when entering into an accountability conversation:
Establish safety in the conversation
You don’t have to be nice to be kind.
Directly and objectively explain the gap between known expectations and actual behaviors
Asking question of expectation violation
Key thing here is point 2. The root of a shared expectation is collaboration and really it all comes down to highlighting what matters most as a community, or as partners, or as team members.
That said, something to be mindful of: Never hold someone to a standard that isn’t identified
I have called people out more than once for this: there are plenty of things that are obvious expectations when you work here, or go to church where you go to church, but there are also a ton of expectations that aren’t obviously shared
It’s okay to ask if something is expected
If it is, you’re off to the races!
If it’s not, you’ve got a good place to start a conversation.
Thom Reiner says that churches should not be a place where we seek 100% alignment with 70% of people, but rather a place where we strive for 70% alignment with 100% of the people
Jesus’ “Priestly prayer” emphasized that unity would be a divine indicator
“I ask not only on behalf of these, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given them, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
The why was Stewardship, the What was Shared, and now the How?
Stewarding Shared Commitments
Commitments
Commitments
We owe it to each other to hold each other accountable, but that can sometimes look like conflict.
Silence or violence are not the only options here
I’ve heard the paradigm being called
Conflict prone on one end and conflict avoidant on the other
Some call these slightly different and I really like it:
Conflict prone: Peace breaking
Conflict avoidant: Peace faking
We fall into these categories for different reasons, a lot of times it’s because we are thinking too much about ourselves
Some good terms here are dispositional vs. situational attributes
We focus on situation attributes when we give ourselves grace
I can’t believe I just did that, but she did step on my cat last week and I haven’t had coffee today, and…
On the other side, we focus on dispositional attributes when we want to judge others
I can’t believe he did that, such a creep. Makes sense though, he’s always been a __.
In other words, we know the context when we make bad decisions, but when others make bad decisions, it’s typically because they have a character flaw.
This isn’t the way we as Christians are designed to operate.
We tear down the bride of Christ when we are conflict prone peace breakers
We build ourselves up as little gods when we are conflict avoidant peace fakers
We are called to be collaborative peace makers
I really think that’s the “how” part of what Stewarding Shared Commitments shows too: we have to be commited to others to do this regularly
For the sake of the other person
For the sake of the team/ group/ organization
For ourselves
Conclusion
Conclusion
Tried to balance some cute quotes with a good bit of Scripture, but I really do feel like the idea of accountability is something that we need to be reminded of regularly, so I’m always excited to talk about it a bit.
One more Scripture I wanted to share on this topic, I think the first half of this verse really puts a bow on the Biblical picture of accountability,
Colossians 3:16a (NRSV)
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom
So, that’s what I’ve got, kind of a big picture overview on accountability, I hope at least some of that didn’t put you to sleep
If you have any questions, Lydia is ->
