Pleasing God In Our Conflicts

Last week, we thought about a biblical perspective of conflict under three main points:

Realize that conflicts are inevitable, therefore expect them.

Realize that conflicts involve sin, therefore resolve them.

Realize that conflicts are opportunities, therefore seize them.

Three-Step Conflict Resolution Model:

 Step #1 – Please God

Step #2 – Repent

Step #3 – Love

Step #1 – Please God

What does it mean to please God amid our conflicts?

 To bring God delight by being and doing what God desires

 1. Key Passages

2 Corinthians 5:9–10 ESV

9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

In this passage, Paul is meditating on the possibilities of his imminent future.

He may die at the hands of his persecutors, or he may be delivered and continue on in his ministry.

Paul shows us that there is something more important to him than if he lives or dies. What is so important to him is whether or not he pleases God.

How do we apply this principle?

Whether my spouse treats me kindly or treats me poorly, my aim is to please God.

Whether my friend chooses to forgive me or not, my aim is to please God.

Whether I am promoted at work or bypassed, my aim is to please God.

Paul then gives us two motives for why our highest aim should be to please God in any conflict.

Two motives for pleasing God in any conflict:

We should aim to please God because He is watching.

We should aim to please God because of the power of Jesus’ love for us.

  The first is in verse 10 – Paul says the first reason we should aim to please God is because he is watching.

What we can infer from this passage is that when we die, we will be in the presence of the judgment seat of Christ and we will receive what is due us for what we did during our life, both good and evil.

We always have to apply every passage of Scripture with other Scriptures. Romans 8:1 tells us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, so we must infer that believers do not stand before the judgment to be condemned.

Instead, believers stand before the judgment in order to receive rewards for their good works done as a response to faith and in order to demonstrate their salvation.

James says that good works will be evidence of saving faith. There is still a lot of mystery when it comes to this issue.

2 Corinthians 5:14–15 ESV

14 For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; 15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

Paul then gives a second and higher motive for why our highest aim should be to please God.

The higher motive Paul gives for striving to please God is the love of Jesus.

The love of Jesus is to be a compulsive force and a dominating power leaving us no choice but to live for what pleases him.

   You are a person Jesus has died for. When you experience that reality, you no longer pursue living for yourself and what you want but living for him and what he wants and you have the power of the resurrection in order to live pleasing to Him!

Illustration: My job moving furniture. I worked with some rougher characters. A picture that really related with some of them was the picture of someone taking a bullet for them. You would care enough about that person’s memory and reputation that you would ensure a proper memory of that person’s name.

Jesus in his cross and resurrection must control and motivate us in our peacemaking efforts.

Psalm 37:1–6 ESV

1 Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! 2 For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. 3 Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. 4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. 6 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.

Do not fret and ruminate over the person you are in conflict with. (Much easier said than done!)

Instead, dwell on what God is teaching you, revealing to you, and asking you to do next.

Trust in the Lord, and do good.

2. General Biblical Principles about Pleasing God and Living for Jesus

   Amid conflicts, make pleasing God your single and all-consuming goal.

Do not seek to please yourself.

Even Christ did not come to please himself but his Father who sent him.

Seeking to please ourselves is a sin trap that Jesus’ death saves us from.

Do not fear others and do not have as your ultimate motivation to please others.

Galatians 1:10 ESV

10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Seeking to please others may lead us to not do the best and most loving thing for them.

  Be aware of godly motives.

Be aware of God’s holy judgment.

Be filled with gratitude for God’s saving grace.

   This goal must be accomplished according to God’s Word, depending on God’s power.

1 Thessalonians 4:1–2 ESV

1 Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. 2 For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus.

Hebrews 13:20–21 ESV

20 Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, 21 equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

  This goal must encompass every area in your life, and must govern both your heart and behavior.

Psalm 19:14 ESV

14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

     Jesus Christ alone has fulfilled this goal perfectly.

Matthew 3:17 ESV

17 and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”

3. Implications of Pleasing God in the Midst of Conflict

This goal keeps your focus on God, not on the conflict issues or on the other person.

It is so easy to keep your focus directed at the other person. We constantly think about how we can’t believe what he or she said or did. We can’t believe how they are treating us.

When we keep our focus on the person, we respond by either attacking, punishing, and taking revenge or we defend ourselves, retreat, and avoid the person.

When we are focused on pleasing God, we are forced to look to Him, pray, and search his Word. It allows us to look at God and ask, “What does my Lord want me to do?” It allows us to look at ourselves and ask, “How have I contributed to this conflict?” We must go to God’s word to discern how he wants us to handle the situation.

    In Christ, this goal is always doable, no matter how the other person behaves.

So many times in conflict, we feel helpless. With Christ, one thing we can control is our responses.

It is easy to want to quit or retreat when we feel controlled or manipulated by someone else. This fact is freeing that we can obey and please God no matter how another person behaves. No one can stop us from pleasing God.

When this goal governs you, the other person’s sins, bad habits, offenses, failures, etc. become opportunities, not obstacles, to pleasing God and growing as a Christian.

You can respond to them the way God tells you to respond in his Word.

This goal will pace your efforts.

Our tendencies are to either attack or run away. In Christ, we can pace ourselves to not avoid but not push too fast either. Instead, we can patiently walk through the three step process.

    God might bless your efforts to lead your enemy to repentance and also identify areas of repentance needed in yourself.

Proverbs 16:7 ESV

7 When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

There is always hope for change. Don’t give up!

  If you both please God, full reconciliation is guaranteed.

  If you seek to please God, you will grow as a person and a follower of Christ.

If you both seek to please God, you will grow in those ways and find reconciliation.

God is gracious and can reconcile even under mixed motives.

   Even if the other person does not please God, you can experience God’s blessing and comfort.

   We can hear “Well done, good and faithful servant.

The Story of George Balanchine from “Pursuing Peace” by Robert Jones page 55.

“God must be your director and your audience.”

Questions to consider:

Have you been looking at this dispute as something that happened by chance, as something done to you by someone else, or as something God allowed in your life for a specific purpose?

What questions, doubts, or fears do you have because of this dispute?

How would your feelings, attitudes, and behavior change if you started seeing this dispute as an assignment from a perfectly loving and all-powerful God?

What good might God bring about if you respond to this conflict in a biblical manner?

 The Pleasing God Prayer

 My goal in life, at all times, must be to PLEASE GOD, not myself or others.

Father, help me to please You in all my thoughts, words, actions, and desires.