The unfulfilled

Preamble

Thank you

Thank you for coming. Love to meet. Come chat.

Many other things you could be doing.

But assure you, best use of your evening.

(L) Why?

Age of distractions.

Doom scrolling. Swipe right. Considering things of significance: increasingly rare.

Each evening: consider the most significance person ever lived.

Person of Jesus. Individual of monumental significance.

Changed course of history. BC / AD

Western civilisation founded on his teaching

Intrinsic value of individual. Human rights.

Self-sacrifice. Care for the downtrodden.

Things we assume true: finds roots in Jesus’ teaching.

If you want to reckon with things that matter:

Come, encounter the most significant person ever lived.

(L) More than that:

We won’t encounter him in the abstract.

But in a deeply personal way.

Each evening

Hear story. Each individual, tonight ___, encounter Jesus personally.

After that, look at John’s eyewitness, hear how Jesus encounters a similar individual.

Observe: What he says. What he does.

Our hope? You will encounter him too

Will you encounter him?

(L) Getting ahead.

Interview

About yourself

1. Jess, thanks so much for taking time out to speak to use today. Am I right that you’re a publisher in your day job? What does a publisher do?

2. What do you do for fun? What are your favourite recipes?

Tamar

3. You volunteer with an organisation called Tamar. We’re going to watch a short video on it. (After watching) Could you tell us about the organisation? What has been your involvement in it?

4. Could you tell us more about the Women? Who are they? Why do they work in the sex industry? What is life like for many of these women?

5. We’re thinking about unfulfillment this evening. Could you share how you observe that in the sex industry? (Have a think about fleshing this answer out)

o Storytell about the men (wedding rings, obsession etc)

o Storytell about the women (obsessed with expensive handbags)

o (Share any other interesting stories that help us to feel the desire for fulfilment)

6. What is your involvement with these women as a volunteer with Tamar?

o Have you ever felt unsafe?

o Do you have any success stories to share?

Your personal encounter with Jesus

7. We’re going to pivot a little to think about your faith. Do you mind sharing when you first encountered Jesus? What do you find attractive about him?

8. How does your experience of following Jesus, provide motivation to help these women?

9. You’ve seen unfulfillment expressed in the sex industry, in what ways do you think unfulfillment in general is expressed in wider society?

10. If anyone is feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled in life, what might you say to him or her?

Talk: The unfulfilled

Q: Are you thirsty?

A: Whoever drinks the waters that Jesus offers will never be thirsty again.

Introduction

Sorry before I start. Let me get a drink. Anyone thirsty?

Has anyone been really thirsty?

(A) Technical term to describe myself: MAMIL.

Dress up. Meet up with friends. Day out.

Not clubs but countryside.

100 mile ride. Summer. Hot. 20miles. ran out. (A) squeeze every last drop.

Got home. So parched. Dry. Barely speak. Needed a drink.

Best drink to quench your thirst? Full fat coke.

Are you thirsty?

Are you thirsty for more in life?

(A) Jess. People assume they can quench their thirst in the sex industry.

Men - quench thirst for sexual satisfaction.

Ugly picture: to quench. Wear wedding rings. Objectify women. Leave a trial of broke families.

Women - Some are coerced. Some are there to quench thirst for material satisfaction

Selling something precious: to quench their thirst for something that fades.

(L) Again as Jess said.

Thirst for more. Not just in the sex industry but everywhere. Workplace. School. Home.

Do you thirst for material satisfaction? Online shops. 2nd hand sits.

Do you thirst for emotional satisfaction? Validation from others. Recognition from others.

Liked. Not weird.

Loved. Not hated.

(A) The social dilemma? Big tech.

Regardless of your view of big tech. Point of the show.

We search for emotional validation from others on socials.

“A whole generation is more anxious, more depressed.”

Do you thirst for relational satisfaction? Empirically true, university is prime time for finding a partner.

Some want to focus on studies.

Some would like to also find a partner.

Let me ask: Are you thirsty?

Do you long for more?

Do you long for material, relational, spiritual satisfaction?

If you are thirsty, what do you drink to quench your thirst?

Context

Each evening. Look at eyewitness account of Jesus. Written by his friend called john.

John spend about three years with Jesus. Hang out. Went to pub together. Travelled together. Learned from him.

Over time, convinced that he was no ordinary man

His teaching.

See inside a person

His miracles.

In public. For the world to see.

Miracles that only God could do.

Ultimately, witness the most extraordinary thing

Died publicly on a Roman Cross

Rose from the grave, appeared to 500 witnesses

Changed the course of human history.

John recorded the life of Jesus at the risk of his own life.

Past few days

Party. Jesus and fun?

The one who was resistant to change. Call. Jesus. Darkness to light.

The one who’s life was ruined. Jesus: “I AM the door” “I AM the good shepherd”

Today we meet someone who was thirsty. A woman from Samaria.

If you are thirsty, where do you go to get a drink?

Not kitchen. Well. Think 1st Century.

What time do you go to the well?

Morning? Why?

Not midday. Hot. Think 1st Century.

^(A) hard to imagine. Bleak Feb.

Choosing to go out when it’s cold, wet and rainy. Back splash. Trousers/Dress.

This lady is thirsty. Looking to quench her thirst.

But yet, she goes to the well and the precise time that no one will be around.

Can you imagine trudging to the well, carrying a heavy bucket in the midday Mediterranean sun beating on your back?

Sweat pouring. sticky all over. Heat makes you feel faint.

Or can you imagine. carrying. cold dark wet.

Chill in your bones. All you want is to sit on your couch. Cup of tea.

Sorry a bit confusing. pick one.

Why would you go at a time when no one is around?

Why is she trying to avoid the crowds? We’ll find out.

As she reaches the well

Her throat parched from the heat.

She is thirsty. And she needs to quench her thirst.

But as she arrives at the well, there is a man.

Who is it? Jesus

(L) What does he say?

ARGUMENT

1. Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again.

John 4:13 “Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again”

(A) “Great insight Jesus.” (Take a drink) At some point: will be thirsty again.

(L) but of course, remember WHO Jesus is. He see through you. Far more profound.

How do you guys do your shopping? What websites?

What was the last big ticket item that you bought? Clothes? Shoes? Bag?

How long did it take for the excitement to wear off?

A day? A week? A month?

How long did it take for you to be thirsty again?

(A) packing my house last week. Clear some of old clothes.

“Ew weird...” “Why did I ever wear those?” once excitement, now disgust.

Maybe you look at me “Ew, weird...” It’s ok, if you think so. Already married. Don’t need to impress you guys.

Point? The physical. The material stuff.

Not necessarily bad. But you will be thirsty again.

Take a drink. Couple of hours. Thirsty again.

Buy a new outfit. Couple of weeks. Thirsty again.

Buy a new gadget. Couple of months. Thirsty again.

“Everyone who drinks of this water, will be thirsty again...”

(L) but what is this lady really thirsting for?

John 4:15–18 “The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.””

(A) Anyone know someone in a toxic relationship? Know its bad but still can’t help?

Friend: Obsessed with this girl.

Didn’t like him. Kept leading him on.

Buy her things. Do nice things for her. But she would just give a little and never commit.

We could see the emotional wreck that it caused him.

Know anyone in a toxic relationship? Are you in a toxic relationship?

Another friend: Recently looking back at teenage years. Shared what was in her diary.

Repeated refrain

“Why do I love him even when he brings me so much pain?”

“Why do I love him even when he brings me so much pain?”

“Why do I love him even when he brings me so much pain?”

Know anyone in a toxic relationship?

(L) know anyone in six toxic relationships?

John 4:18 “for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband.

What was this lady thirsting for? Emotional, relational satisfaction.

This might explain why she came to draw water in the middle of the day where no one was around.

She was infamous in her village.

The lady with the line of ex-husbands.

Husband 1: Maybe this guy will bring me satisfaction.

Husband 2: Maybe this is the one who promised the world to me

Husband 3: Maybe this is the one that I will find true happiness

Husband 4: “ah i finally found the one.”

Husband 5: “The one wasn’t the previous one. This one is going to be the one.”

The sixth: “I’ve given up trying to find the one. I just want to be loved by someone.”

On the outside, people disliked her.

On the inside, she was thirsty like all of us.

She was longing to be fulfilled.

She was longing to be loved.

She was longing to quench her thirst and so she came to a well.

Ask: Are you thirsty? Are you longing for more?

Don’t hear me wrongly.

Not saying, being thirsty is wrong.

Not wrong to need a drink of water.

Not wrong to long for material or relational satisfaction.

Not wrong to be thirsty.

The issue is “where do we go to quench our thirst?”

John 4:13 “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again,”

Because if you drink the wrong kind of water

Very soon, your throat will feel dry. Mouth feel parched.

Need another gulp.

And another.

And another.

You will be thirsty again.

Issue: the wrong kind of water will leave us thirsty again

The solution? living water

John 4:14 “but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.”

2. Whoever drinks of the water that I will give will never be thirsty again.

What is this water that Jesus is offering?

(A) Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs?

Basic idea: different needs: Physiological, safety, love/belonging, self-esteem, self-actualisation.

Different levels of fulfilment that we need.

Somewhat recently, identified that Maslow had a sixth level.

Maslow considered that the sixth level was spiritual/transendence in nature and so not everyone would be motivated in this way.

As this was not universal, Maslow limited his original model to five levels.

However, later in his life he came to believe that the sixth level was in fact a part of every human and so legitimately a part of his hierarchy.

But his sixth level is not widely known as it was published in the little-known Journal of Humanistic Psychology shortly before he died.

Yes, psychology students, even the first year students.. are ready to pounce on me if I say something wrong.

Agree or disagree with some of the details: it is anecdotally true.

More and more people realise that is true call themselves spiritual today

Corporate world: HR/leaders are recognising that spirituality important part of motivation.

Many atheist are losing their faith, converting to agnosticism.

In the face of catastrophe, people, religious or not, instinctively feel the need to pray.

We all have spiritual needs.

But Jesus is saying that this need to relate to a higher person is

Not the icing on the cake

Not the tip of the iceberg

It is the most basic thing that we are all thirsting for.

Underneath our material needs.

Underneath our emotional needs

Is the need to relate to our creator.

The need to relate to the one who made us

The need to relate to the one who knows us better than we know ourselves.

That is why we still thirst even when we drink “this water”

Stuff doesn’t satisfy.

Human relationships doesn’t satisfy.

What is this water that Jesus is offering?

A relationship with God, the one who made you, the one who knows you.

“the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers relate to the Father in spirit and truth.”

Unless you know the one who made you

your throat will always feel dry.

your mouth will always be parched.

You will always be desperate for another drink

John 4:13–14 “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.

REINFORCEMENT

But Objection! Isn’t this simply a human construct to fill an emotional void?

We need to cope with our lack of satisfaction and so we dream up of this so-called void.

Sigmund Freud argued: belief in God stems from a longing for a protective father figure. So we create a transcendent being to meet that need.

But many problems with that view

First problem? Logical fallacy

Just because we feel the need = Doesn’t necessarily mean that we make something up.

Thirsty for water? = we dream up this hydrogen-bonded compound called H2o.

Thirsty for relationships? = we dream up this concept of being in relationship with someone else

Thirsty for spiritual reconciliation? = we dream up this concept of God.

More logically

Thirsty for water? we need water

Thirst for relationships? we need to be loved

More logically, our sense of something greater than ourselves

Our instinct to pray in times of need

Our thirst for something more? means we need God.

But here’s the second problem: Jesus

The one who quenches our thirst, walked this earth.

God stepped into history in the person of Jesus

Meet us where we are at

Offers us living water that can satisfy

Offers himself.

John 4:14 “whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.

Our subjective experience of thirsting for more, meets the objective person of Jesus.

But more than that, if you reject Jesus, where will you go to ultimately quench your thirst?

You could try money

JD Rockefeller, one of wealthiest man in history. was asked, how much money is enough to satisfy. Answered “just a little more”

You could try money. But it will leave your throat dry.

You could try retail therapy

But you’ll be desperate for another drink

You could try human relationships

But your mouth will remain parched.

Again not that these things are wrong but they are ultimately not designed to completely satisfy.

Where will you go to quench your thirst?

Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again,

but whoever, anyone drinks of the water that I will give will never be thirsty again.

Will you accept the living water that Jesus is offering?

Closing

Aim of this week

Offer some food for thought. Encounter Jesus.

Thank you for being generous with your time. Lots to be involved in.

Aware there will be a variety of views in room and that’s fine

Perhaps unanswered questions, so let me offer a few suggestions.

May have questions on whether knowing Jesus actually satisfies all the other needs. Come speak to me.

Come back tomorrow. Final. What would Jesus say to an agnostic.

Final interview. someone who was an agnostic.

This book

Yours to keep. Take it back. Read it. Come to an informed opinion about Jesus

Suggestion: pencil. mark. tick agree. cross disagree. ? don’t understand.

Need to explain… how.

Ask your friend who invited you to buy you a coffee. Ask your questions.

Thank you for time. close on this

LAND

I asked at start: are you thirsty?

Reality: We are all thirsty.

Deep down we know that the things of this world do not ultimately satisfy.

Will be thirsty again

(A) Lady at the well, avoiding people.

Came in the midday sun so that she would not meet anyone

Even though Jesus knew that,

He met her exactly where she was

He knew exactly what she needed

End of the story, the lady accepts the living water

Leaves her water jar.

Begins a new life

And in the same way

Jesus is meeting you exactly where you are

He knows exactly what you need

“Whoever drinks of the water I give, will never be thirsty again.”

All you need is to say is: yes please. I’ll like receive some of that water.

Pray after me.

Pray.

“I admit that i’m thirsty and need your help.”

“I’m sorry that I have been rejecting you. Searching elsewhere for fulfilment.”

“I like to receive what you are offering and to follow you.”

“please help me”