The Love Matrix
Notes
Transcript
Introduction: This morning I want to help us think about love. Don’t tell me that you’re not intrigued by love. We are all intrigued by love because we were created to love. And as creatures who bear the image of our creator, we are capable of giving and receiving love. Now, love got warped during the fall, and we get really confused about what love is, who we should love, and how we should love. Much of what we see in our world is not love but self-centeredness or self-loathing being expressed as love. This morning I can’t go into everything about love because it is too big of a topic for one message, but I do want to share with us a love matrix, that I believe will start us on the path to experiencing a more satisfying love. To start us on this journey, I want to read a poem by a well-known Australian poet called Little River:
Have you heard about the Lonesome Loser
Beaten by the queen of hearts every time
Have you heard about the lonesome loser
He’s a loser, but he still keeps on tryin
Sit down take a look at yourself
Don’t you want to be somebody
Someday somebody gonna see inside
You have to face up
You can’t run and hide
Have you heard about the Lonesome Loser
Beaten by the queen of hearts every time
Have you heard about the lonesome loser
He’s a loser, but he still keeps on tryin
Unlucky in love
Least that’s what they say
He lost his head and he gambled his heart away
He still keeps searching
Though there nothing left
Staked his heart and lost
Now he has to pay the cost
Have you heard about the Lonesome Loser
Beaten by the queen of hearts every time
Have you heard about the lonesome loser
He’s a loser, but he still keeps on tryin
It’s okay, he smiles and says
Though this loneliness is driving him crazy
He don’t show what goes on in his head
But if you watch very
close you’ll see it all
This song made popular 1979 by the Little River Band talks about the struggle to love in a fallen world. This guy was gambling with his love, putting himself out there, taking the risks, but he was falling short. It sounds like he may have been unlucky in love but more than likely he needed to look at himself and face the fears, failures, and hurts that effected his ability to give and receive love. This morning I want to propose that we may be losing at love and not even know it or you may very well know it. I want to share with us the triad of the love matrix.
I want to say that all of these are required to love properly, and I believe that they must be in the order that I give them.
I want to say that all of these are required to love properly, and I believe that they must be in the order that I give them.
Live to Love God
Live to Love God
When Jesus was confronted by his opponents, he was asked a question. That question and answer is found in Matthew 22:35-37
35 Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” 37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’
Jesus said that this was the first and the greatest commandment. It is found in Deuteronomy 6:4-5 and is known as the Shema which is derived from the first word to Hear, listen, obey. And every Jewish child committed this to memory and recited it several times per day.
4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
The command to love God is also encapsulated within the 10 commandment, more precisely the first five commandments.
But, listen to me, there is more to loving God than a command. Loving God is what you and I were created for and living in the love of God and cultivating our loving relationship with God is an extraordinary, life-changing, ever fulfilling experience!! Don’t miss this! Nothing will satisfy as loving God does. It is foundational! Let’s look at a few clues of this in scripture.
7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. 8 The Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed. 9 And out of the ground the Lord God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Chapter 1 tells of God creating humanity in His own image and likeness and then chapter 2 focuses in on the crowning work of creation — humanity. It then gives a description of God’s love for humanity.
God gets intimately involved in the creation of humanity. He forms the man from the clay, shaping, forming, weaving and interacting. Then He puts His mouth to the nostrils of this handmade creation and breaths life into us.
Then, He performs the surgery to remove Adam’s rib and create the first woman.
Why did God create an intellectual being in His image? Was God lonely? No, He lived in triune community with Himself.
He created us because love within the Trinity is so abundant and fulfilling that He want to share it! So, He made a creature perfectly designed give and receive His love. We were created for love.
Listen to this quote by Tim Keller from The Reason for God:
We were designed, then, not just for belief in God in some general way, nor for a vague kind of inspiration or spirituality. We were made to center our lives upon Him, to make the purpose and passion of our lives knowing, serving, delighting, and resembling Him. This growth in happiness will go on eternally, increasing unimaginably.
This ever fulfilling love is why the Psalmist could say, “Oh taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man who trusts in Him. There is no want to those who fear Him.”
The point of the Psalm 34 is that when we taste and see for ourselves the goodness of God. We will find everything that we need. There will be no want.
Do you want to stop losing to the queen of hearts every time and experience a depth in love like never before? Live to love God!
Learn to Love Others
Learn to Love Others
C.S. Lewis said, “Do not waste time bothering whether you love your neighbor; act as if you do. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When we are behaving as if we loved someone, we will presently come to love them.”
What is he saying? Practice loving others. Make it a discipline and before we know it we will do it naturally.
If we visit again the question in Matthew 22:35-37we will see a twin doctrine.
35 Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” 37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’
Here is the twin doctrine: In the process of truly loving God we will love each other and in loving each other we are in reality loving God. We cannot adequately do one without the other, they are inseparable.
When we fail to love God it diminishes our ability to love others and when we do not love each other it diminishes our capacity to love God.
John drives this point firmly in our minds in 1 John 4:7-8
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.
20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.
For more about this read chapter three of 1 John. Here’s the thought though! It is not always easy to love others because they hurt us. That is the price we pay for love. So, where do we start with loving our family, spouses, co-workers, nemesis, and enemies? We begin by loving God and obediently loving them. Eventually we will joyfully love them. But, there’s another key to the love matrix.
Practice Loving Yourself Proportionately
Practice Loving Yourself Proportionately
If you remember initially I said that this triad was in order. First, we must love God, then we will love others, but that does not mean that we should love ourselves.
We live in a me first world and to put anything before self seems to indicate that we don’t think much of ourselves. We have become so crafty at putting ourselves first that we do nothing out of selfless interest.
If we help someone its because it makes us feel better or look good.
We worship, serve, give to God so he will bless us!
We stand up for things because we don’t want others to look down on us.
We complement or praise to receive compliments and praises.
This is wrong, but also self-loathing is equally wrong. If we are to love God and others we must have a healthy love for ourselves. In fact, the poor actions mentioned above come from a poor view of ourselves. Listen to a couple of passages. Matthew 22:35-39 again please.
35 Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” 37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Will you pay close attention to the last two words in verse 39?
Look in Ephesians 5:25-29
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
Take a close look at verse 28. We love ourselves.
Can I admit something? So often I am a selfish dog, but more often I struggle with low self-esteem and worth. I often struggle with loving myself, forgiving myself, and feeling accepted. And it is during those times that I treat the people I claim to love the worst!
How do we practice loving ourselves proportionately? It makes a full circle! We must receive the love and acceptance that God gives and love Him with all of our hearts.
