James 4

We are continuing in our series from the book written by James, the baby brother of Jesus.  We have looked at how its not just enough to hear, but we have to do, we have looked at how without action our faith is useless, and we have looked at how we have to have a good reign on our tongue… 

 High School Fight Invitation - Conyers Tooth

How many of you remember high school? Remember how in high school a lot of times fights weren’t spontaneous, they didn’t just happen, but for the most part people talked up fights, and you’d hear about them all day long, dude… there is going to be a fight this afternoon… one in particular I remember, Conyers lost  tooth… if someone hadn’t stepped in it could have gotten worse.. its like all these people where invited into the fight to make it worse...

Today digitally - lose jobs

Truth is that happens a lot today, people are invited into the fight physically, mentally, and in todays day especially they are invited in digitally.  I can’t believe how many people are proponents for something online, they get all in your digital face and let you have it, and when it comes down to it in the real world they’d say nothing, but they invite everyone in to jump in digitally, and it gets ugly quickly… people lose their jobs over things, and really it teaches us how important it is to guard what we say and make sure no words are coming out of our mouth that we can’t account for..

And really this is what James, the pastor, is talking about… conflict… and I’ll have you know the good news is if you read this scripture he tells us very clearly that we can live our lives without having any conflict… I’m kidding, its not like that at all… Satan knows that what he is talking to is sinners in a fallen world that have the devil feeding them even more lies, and when those things get together there is no doubt there will be conflict… its inevitable..

What I think we can find is that James is going to show us that there are two options for conflict… and the first is this..

Worldly conflict… I almost just said wordy conflict.. you know… those arguments that have lots of words… no… sorry… worldly conflict… I know the truth, if you are like me and you hate conflict then you wish there was some other option… you wish here in a few that I could tell you the third option is a life without conflict but the truth is, thats not going to happen, so the question is what will we do with conflict...

I think James is about to talk from personal experience… listen, he grew up watching jesus… he saw it… those that hated him, persecuted…arrested him… tried him… crucified… and he watched jesus answer in a perfect and gracious and godly way...

Not only that, James is this pastor of a really big church with lots of influence in Jerusalem… listen when other churches had conflicts, they brought those conflicts before James and Peter to get sorted out in Jerusalem so, there was conflict that he saw, about important stuff… What kind of food can we eat? what kind of music should we play…. what color should we paint the walls… important stuff….

Not only that, but there was tons of conflict in Jerusalem, just in the city in general, it hasn’t stopped, if you have been blessed to live there you see it, if you turn on your news you can see the stories of what is going on there… there is still conflict… lets not forget that he is a Christian pastoring in a majorly Jewish city… don’t forget that...

The crazy thing is, that if you read church history we will find that its a fight that led to something much larger that ended up killing James…people didn’t want him preaching about Jesus being the head, and they rose up against him, and seized him, and took him to the top of the temple and threw him off… he didn’t die… so the mob beat him until he was dead…so he has seen his share of conflict… he knows about it for sure...

But he tells us, you ready, he says you can either handle it in a worldly way… or a godly way…  listen.. not… you won’t have conflict.. but you can choose how to handle it...

James 4:1 NIV

1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?

So this is really his main question, and everything that follows is really an answer to this question…  

The truth is we often find ourselves asking this same question… we see families fighting and we say.. what is that all about… or two groups fighting.. why are they fighting...

Well they used to work together, and he thinks he stole money from the company and used it for his own good but he knows he never did, but they can’t reconcile that problem...

 And if you are really adventurous you’d ask one side and they’d say well they said… and the other side… NO WAY JOSE! So James is saying, listen, I have the ability to be on the outside of most of these arguments, what do you think is causing most of these problems? and he says...

Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?

What he’s saying is look, before you can see the problem on the outside before it happens out there with other people, don’t you realize that most of that comes from deep within you...

James 4:2 NIV

2 You desire but do not have, so you kill.

2You desire but do not have, so you kill.

Oh, I’d never  do that.. but the truth of the matter is, when things go bad like that it normally starts with a small little thing that uncontrolled gets larger and larger and deeper and deeper.. like we talked about the ships rudder… remember.. it moves things…

James 4:2–3 NIV

2 …You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

That is definitely some pastoral critique… rebuke.. guidance in that line...

James 4:4 NIV

4 You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God?

4You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? 

I think it is interesting here that he is giving a definition of what it means to be worldly… what that means is that things are put together in a way that Satan would like it…it means things are organized, brought together, put together in such a way that brings Satan Joy and grieves the heart of Jesus… its anything that when anything is put together in such a way that Satan is like, Yes, just like that, perfect… and Jesus says… no not like that, thats not how I wanted it.. that is worldliness..

Do you remember back to when you learned to drive, I remember one of the things my dad taught me about was the groove in the road, and how the car will kind of try to get into that grove..  what I mean is on old roads that haven’t been well maintained there is kind of this groove where most of the cars have driven, and if you are not careful your car will drift right toward that grove and kind of get stuck…truth is worldliness is just like that.. thats how everybody thinks… thats how everyone acts…thats how everyone travels… and we get stuck..

Let me give you 3 aspects of worldly conflicts..

1. It Begins with Passions

     The first is your emotions become uncontrolled… you’re upset, hurt, angry frustrated, scared… how many of us have been there? And let me tell you this… you’ll be there again… he’s telling us it all starts with the inside… something happens and makes us feel this way and before you know it, you respond, you react..and I’ve done this, most of you have done this…but he’s saying it all starts internally

He says it all starts there, but then its combined with coveting.. we want what they have… they have the power we want… the have the marriage we want…They have a job… we just lost it… they have kids…we want them… they’re healthy….we’re not…. they get straight a’s…we…well we go to school…So what happens is we see it and we want to take it from them…either for ourselves or keep it from them because if I can’t have it neither can they...

He says you forgot to ask God for it…if you want what they have you shouldn’t covet it… you should ask god for it and then what happens is sometimes you did… and God told you no… so then yo have a conflict with God… and they asked and received we asked and didn’t and we are mad at them because we like Gods plan for their life better than gods plan for ours...

The second thing is about worldly conflicts this...

2. It turns into fighting...

     HE says it all starts in here.. with this covetous heart… then it explodes into something larger…the actual word used here in the greek is actually used on a larger scale elsewhere… it is the word used for wars between demons and angels… between two different sides of a war… its a big word.. not just a squabble..but it has some weight...

     One of the problems when it comes to fighting is often times we only see a persons actions and we don’t see their heart or motives.. those are only seen by God… so we see someones actions and its.. I know why you did this…. and we get back… don’t judge me… you don’t know my heart… you don’t know why I did anything… but even then, we turn to someone else and say… man he did that just because he has a horrible heart…he has it all wrong… and we get into a fight out of speculation… sometimes the warring is contributed to because of exaggeration.. man it was the worst I have ever seen! we make things seem a little worse than they really were.. it wasn’t a lie per se… but it wasn’t the truth either...

 Which brings us to the third thing about worldly conflicts

3. It involves half truths and gossip

     Sometimes we keep the war going by telling half truths… I mean we aren’t lying… we just aren’t painting the whole picture and we are getting people really riled up by painting the picture the way we want it to be seen. Come on… Im sure we have all done this at some point… it happens when you are trying to prove how right you are… you make sure that anything that would make it look otherwise is left out...

Not only that… gossip… instead of talking to someone about our problem we talk about them to someone else… man, that gets me… most people… I say MOST… would rather you talk to them about the issue you have with them and how to fix it and know whats really going on than have to hear you talking smack to someone else…and today in our world all of this is so much easier… rumors and gossip spread so much quicker… the world is at our finger tips… world news now is just a click away and we get it instantaneously it doesn’t take weeks to get to us… so today we can start a war pretty quickly just by a social media post… all the troops are rallied and ready to go...

And this is what happens in a worldly conflict… nobody wins…we all lose…and he goes on and says...

James 4:4 ESV

4 … Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

So what he is saying is if we decide to have this worldly conflict and we think we are fighting this person, really we are fighting against God… thats deep

I’ll tell you a story. There’s a tradition in some tribal societies called spearing, OK, and here’s what happens: One tribe lives over here, one tribe lives over here, and at some point, there’s conflict between the tribes, and one tribal member harms or kills the member of another tribe, usually in a battle with a spear. And then, the tribe that had someone die, they wait, and they plan to send one of their members into the other tribe, usually more quietly and secretly, and stab one of the members of that tribe. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. You killed one of ours; we kill one of yours. And then they go back to their tribe, and they’re revered as a hero. And then the other tribe puts together a plan that one of their soldiers is going to, when they’re vulnerable, sneak over to the other tribe and spear one of their members.

This goes on, and on, and on for years, for decades, for generations, and the body count just goes up. And if Jesus were to show up, the first thing that both tribes would want to do is say, “Here’s who they killed.” OK, go over to this—OK. “No, here’s who they killed.” OK, OK. “Here’s who they killed.” OK, OK. “Here’s who”—you could do that forever. Jesus would show up and say, “You don’t kill them, “and you don’t kill them. “I’ll die for both of you. Stick the spear in me.”

The Lord Jesus goes to the cross, and he dies for the sin, and what did they do to his side? They spear him so that there can be peace and reconciliation instead of worldly conflict. Worldly conflict is where people spear one another and don’t rejoice in the fact that Jesus was speared for them both. So, they keep spearing one another, and the result is they forget that Jesus said, “It’s finished.” That’s worldly conflict, OK?

Conflict can’t be avoided because we are all sinners… so lets look at Godly Conflict...

2. Godly Conflict

     So since there is no avoiding conflict James lays out a way for us to have Godly conflict…an entirely different path… and here is what he says in James 4:5-10

James 4:5–10 NIV

5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

     When it comes to world conflict James says its simple…you get emotional…and you war to try to get what they have… and he’s trying to show us a different way to deal with that.

Let’s just ask this, how did Jesus deal with conflict? With love and grace…submission…humbleness…how did he do that? How did Jesus do that? with the help of the holy spirit…Jesus lived by the power of the holy spirit...

SO what that means is when our passions are raging inside of us and we are rising up we have to invite the holy spirit in to guide us and our decisions and thoughts and actions...

The second thing James said was God gives us MORE grace…so when the conflicting starts what he is saying is God starts pouring out more grace on that situation to both sides…hoping we all latch on… so when we hear there is more grace… that doesn’t just mean for me in a argument… it means for them too..

See the thing is that worldly conflict is all about  pride… more for me… and godly conflict is all about the pursuit of humility… the thing is no one can ever say they are humble… pursuing humility yes… humble no…just like perfect…no pursing perfection..uyes...

Let me just quickly go over 9 things that humility allows us to do:

1. See Our Sin

     See when we are humble it allows us to see what we do wrong.. not just them… often times our passions get in the way of our own problems

2. Get quieter, Not Louder

     You can always tell when it goes from conflict to fight to riot… the volume gets louder…even with two people… voices get louder… I WILL WIN>>> NO ME>>>> Humility says if you are getting louder… I will get quieter

3. Listen more, speak less

     What humility does is allow us to listen to the other side more and make sure we are hearing what is going on… we talked a lot about this last week… but humility allows us to speak less and not try to spit the bit out of our mouth and pursue what we want..

4. Submit to Godly authority

     Humility allows us to submit to godly authority… now we shouldn’t submit to all authority but definitely godly authority… we all should submit to godly authority… if you read romans 13, it tells us that all authority is put into place by god… but the truth of the matter is often times we don’t submit to authority because we are chasing after the victory… we want to be in control...

     What happens is sometimes we want to win so badly that we forget the rules… we go at all costs… we do whatever it takes to win, and we don’t care what the consequences are because we have to get there...

     This could be the husband that wants to be the authority of his wife… he wants her to listen to what he has to say…but he doesn’t want to be under the authority of the church… doesn’t want to listen to how he SHOULD be treating her...

But James told us… submit yourselves to god…So what this means is conflict is never about winning…its about worship… its not about what can I get…but how can i honor god right here… thats a HUGE difference and can change the whole ball game i think...

5. Our humility helps us Resist the Devil

     James tell us to resist the devil… in conflict.. see we aren’t arguing with the person we are arguing with the devil… so here it goes…resist him…the bible tells us our battle isn’t against flesh and bone but principalities, powers and spirits… and when you are in conflict when armies go to battle… they go with the idea that they hope the other side will retreat…will surrender and they can win… they are prepared to fight, but hoping they won’t have to… what he is saying is when you are arguing its not that person… its the enemy that has that person captive…and you are fighting against satan..

    So resisting the Devil says… how would the Lord respond here… how would he react in this situation? Sometimes what the devil does is try to make us defensive…Let me explain… You don’t understand… or he tries to make us stubborn… there is no way I will do that…or self righteous… I didn’t do anything wrong...

Some of you guys that have teenage daughters probably get this… you’ve seen your daughter date the wrong guy and you try to tell her.. honey he’s not right for you… but dad… and here it comes I FEEEL….and the dads all like Listen, you’re feelings have taken you captive they are leading you incorrectly… so we have to resist the devil...

Let me ask you this morning, how does Satan Tempt you? Another question… Can the devil use a christian? Of course. He can’t possess you, but even as a Godly, mature Christian, there are moments of weakness where Satan can use you for his agenda..     

6. Draw near to God

     Number six he says draw near to God. What often happened in battles in the ages was there is this hand to hand combat and it would go on for days and people wouldn’t even know where they were anymore and they are looking for their people and saying are we here are they over there where are we because they had lost sight… in the battle its easy to lose sight of where you are because what is right in front of you…and eventually they’d see their flag and go back toward it and group back together... so what we have to do is in the middle of conflict draw closer to God and allow him to show us what we need to do.

7. Get cleaned up

     He tells us to clean ourselves up…he uses some really strong language Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

8. Be patient

9. Refrain from Judging

James 4:11–12 NIV

11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

Here’s his question. His first question was, “What causes fights and quarrels among you?” His last question is, “Who are you to judge your neighbor?” Do you know all the facts in whatever conflict you find yourself in? How many of you have said, “I’m going to judge this case,” and then as you dig into the facts, you’re like, “There are some facts I did not know.” I’ve used this story many times, but I really learned this the hard way as a new pastor.

Sitting down with a couple—I’ve told you the story—she says, “He grabbed me.” He’s like, “Yeah, because she hit me in the head with a plate, grabbed a steak knife, and was going to stab me.” Oh, that’s a variable, right? Because when she just told me, “He grabbed me,” she forgot, “He grabbed my hand with the steak knife as I was plunging it toward his heart.” And that’s a really important piece of information, particularly according to him.

Do you know all the facts? Have you heard the other side of the story? Proverbs always says, “Everybody seems right until you hear the other guy.” And the big question is, why do we think that we have the right to be the judge? Because here’s what happens in worldly conflict. Something happens and somebody decides, “I’ll be the judge, I’ll convene a jury, and I’ll render a verdict.”

How many of you have done this? I’ve done it. Sometimes we convene a jury physically, talk to people. Sometimes we convene a jury digitally, try to get everybody on our side, whatever the case may be. And what happens when you go to a court, where does the judge sit? The judge sits in the high seat, OK? So, it takes a little pride to get up to the high seat. “I’ll be the judge, I’ll sit in the high seat, I’ll convene the jury, I’ll render a verdict, and I’ll execute a punishment so that there can be justice.”

Jesus walks in the courtroom and is like, “What’s going on?” “We’re holding court.” “I didn’t get invited. Who’s on the bench?” “Well, they are.” “I didn’t appoint them. In fact, that’s my seat. Why are they sitting in my seat?” “Well, we’ve rendered a verdict!” Jesus said, “That’s my job. I give the law and I judge. There’s only one. There’s only one, and that’s no one else.” That’s how worldly conflict goes.

Here’s how godly conflict goes: Jesus walks in, goes up to the bench, “You’re dismissed. You’re now former judge.” He sits down, looks at both parties, and says, “You’re guilty.” And the other side cheers, “Yay!” And then he says, “And you’re guilty!” You’re like, “What?” “You’re all guilty and the punishment is death. And I’m going to die for you both, so put your spears down. It’s not about winning; it’s about worshiping. And I’m going to reconcile with them, and I’m going to reconcile with them, and you’re going to reconcile with each other.”

That’s the verdict of the judge. That’s godly conflict. You say, “Where’s the justice?” At the cross. “Well, who’s going to pay?” Jesus already did.