Love. Week 1

We love because God first loved us.

Today we’re going to be starting our four- week sermon series on dating.

Dating can be so complicated so Dionis wants to spend the entire month of February going over dating with all of us

Unfortunately, Dionis is still not feeling good so he’s at home but know that if he could be here he would be here

That being said, this Sunday we’ll be looking at what it means to be “meant to be” in the context of relationships

But before we get into our topic I wanted to ask all of you…

Who’s your favorite on-screen couple?

Dionis said is favorite is Robin Hood and Maiden Marian from BBC Series

My favorite has to be Prince Naveen and Tiana from the Princess and the Frog

My daughter loves that movie, so it’s been playing a lot at my house lately

I think it’s safe to say all of those examples are “meant to be”

That’s how love is often depicted in media nowadays, isn’t it?

Almost like the secret to an amazing relationship is a little bit of destiny, a whole bunch of feelings, and a tiny dash of magic

At least that’s what all the Disney movies will lead you to believe

But we can’t base our idea of what a relationship is supposed to look like on cartoons or movies.

If we followed the path TV shows and movies laid out for us, wed have to do some crazy things in order to fall in love and even just get a date

What’s one way your favorite on-screen couple is totally unrealistic?

For me its because

Tiana and Naveen are about as different as two people can be.

Tiana has a dream of one day seeing her Dad’s dream come to life

While Naveen hasn’t stopped partying to decide what he’s going to do with his life

By the end though, they fall in love and both dream of opening Tiana’s Palace together

There’s three reasons why we are going to be spending a whole month on dating.

1. Dating is complicated

It can be easy to look at someone in a happy, healthy relationship and think they were just “meant to be.”

Maybe that’s true, but it’s also true that love is pretty complicated for the rest of us.

2. Dating is hard to talk about

It seems like everyone has an opinion about dating, and none of those opinions are the same

It’s hard to know who to talk to and which opinions to trust.

3. Dating is confusing

You have a lot of questions about dating

I had questions too when I was your age

What am I supposed to do with my girlfriend?

Movies

Hold hands

Walk her to class

Movies make it out to be this thing that makes it seem like it’s just something you fall into

like it’s just “meant to be”

Each week we’re going to be watching a clip from an interview of various couples.

and this first couple is awesome, I think you’ll like them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzi2G68CMiE

Looking back on my relationships from my teenage years I wish there were some things I did differently.

I wish I had a step-by-step instruction manual for dating

Unfortunately, we don’t have one for you today either

The Bible doesn’t really have any direct teachings when it comes to dating

In fact, dating wasn’t really a thing when the Bible was being written. People just got married really young, like right after puberty

Meaning, probably most of the juniors and seniors would be married by now

Now that’s not to say we can’t apply Biblical principals to our modern practice of dating before getting married

We actually see in the Gospel of Matthew, that Jesus give us as guiding passage on relationships

Matthew 22:34-40

Explain Pharisees and Sadducees and the gathering and selecting the lawyer.

Matthew 22:34–40 CSB

When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they came together. And one of them, an expert in the law, asked a question to test him: “Teacher, which command in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.”

Now at first glance this passage has nothing to do with dating, but I want to point out something

Jesus tells us two things…

1. Jesus says that loving God is the most important thing we can do

2. Jesus tells us that loving God is connected to loving people

So before we get ahead of ourselves and start looking at what godly relationships look like, we need to first look at what our relationship with God is supposed to look like

The first step in building knowledge, is to build the foundation for the knowledge you’ve set out to learn

That foundation is the truth, and the truth comes from every single word of God. And if we look at the word of God, we’ll find that we love because God first loved us.

You see it’s our very relationship with God that will teach us how to act in our relationship with others.

In other words, staying close to Jesus makes every relationship better.

Basic Relationship Principles of the Bible

1. God Exists in Community

God has always existed in the three persons of the trinity (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit)

God did not create us because He was lonely, He created us because He wanted to share that community of the trinity with others.

Genesis 1:26 CSB

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.”

This verse actually used to be my gamertag on XBOX for a long time, until my youth pastor paid me to change it. True Story

The verse tells us that our God is a relational God

2. God Made Us to Exist in Community

We were created in God’s image, designed to reflect Him and His character

Genesis 2:18 CSB

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.”

Just like He is a relational God, we were made to be a relational people.

This is the only time in the creation account depicting, how God created everything in existence, that God says is not good.

That’s why He created Eve from Adam. To make Adam a suitable mate who was of his own flesh.

3. God Made Us to Exist in Community with Him

Often times we try to ignore this part of our nature. At least our culture does. And people go to all sorts of things to try and fill them with what they are missing.

John 15:9 CSB

“As the Father has loved me, I have also loved you. Remain in my love.

The Block Box

You’ve probably heard it before that people use the things of this world, whether it be dating, sports, drugs, you name it. We often go to those things to fill the God shaped hole in our hearts. When in fact, God is the only thing that can fill that hole in our hearts. He’s the only things that fits.

It’s funny cause my daughter learned to just open the slit rathe than trying to pair the right hole with the right block.

You see, students we are created with a desire to be in community. And not just with each other, but with primarily with God.

That’s why Jesus told us to first love God before He told us to love others

We Love Because God First Loved Us

Understanding Godly Relationships

In oder to understand what a godly relationship looks like, that is a relationship that honors God in all things (especially in it’s behavior), we need to ask ourselves a few questions.

Am I Seeking Satisfaction From a Relationship?

When I should be looking for it from God

Am I Seeking Peace or Security From a Relationship?

If you are not at peace with God without a boyfriend/girlfriend then you won’t be at peace with God if you have one

Am I Okay Not Having a Relationship?

If you want a great dating relationship that is going to honor God, then you need to be okay not having one. Otherwise you run the risk of rushing into something that could bring you into actions that will not be honoring God

Closing Reflection

After you spend some time thinking about all of those questions (these being the questions that build our foundation on what a Godly relationship is) and you feel like you want to start a relationship ask yourself these three questions (these being the questions that build the house that is on the strong foundation we just built)

1. Is the timing right?

Do you think you’re old enough?

Do you think you’re in a healthy place in your life to start something serious?

Because I know we haven’t talked about marriage yet, but ultimately dating is a means to an end. And that end is marriage.

Are you ready to get married?

Probably not, and that’s not say that you can’t date until you are ready to get married. It’s just a reminder of how serious and mature a thing dating really is

Do you have ti wisdom to make the right choices and set the necessary boundaries to keep your relationship God honoring?

2. Do I Even Want to Date?

It may seem like you need to have a girlfriend or boyfriend or else there’s something wrong with you

You may feel unwanted if you don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Like no one likes you even

These are not reasons to start a relationship

Instead these are reasons to deepen your relationship with God because He is the one we find our value in

3. Am I Ready to Date?

And the very last one you ask yourself before committing to a relationship.

There is no one right answer to this any of these. Instead, you will each need to individually answer these questions in a way that satisfies the convictions of the Holy Spirit in you.

Here’s the thing, we could meet up for an hour at lunch, you and me, or you and another leader, talking about if you’re ready to start a relationship with someone, and you could be so convincing. Giving me all the right answers I’m looking for to where I walk out thinking, “yeah, he’s ready”, but deep down in your heart if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know you aren’t ready, and that’s the only thing that counts at the end of the day.

John 16:7–8 CSB

Nevertheless, I am telling you the truth. It is for your benefit that I go away, because if I don’t go away the Counselor will not come to you. If I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will convict the world about sin, righteousness, and judgment:

So over the next three weeks we will be continuing going over Dating. What it means to you and what it means to honor God in our Dating. But before we break up into our small groups I’ll leave you with this.

We are to love each other, first because God is love (8–9), secondly because God loved us (10–11), and thirdly because, if we do love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us (12).

John Robert Walmsley Stott (English Preacher)

In other words,

We Love Because God First Loved Us.