Love By Design - Storge - Affection

Intro/Image

I figured since I am now your Jr. High Director, a few of you know who I am/what my background is but, some of you probably really do not know much about me! I figured I should take some time to tell you a little bit about myself. In case you did not know, I’m Jake! I have 3 older siblings (photo of family), 2 of them are Grace Church missionaries in the Middle East and Southeast Asia. My other sister lives locally in MN. My Dad has been a pastor here for just over 30 years (the bald guy on stage every Sunday) so, I have grown up here at this church for my whole life! I currently live in Chaska with my wife Kate and my dog, Lemmy. We met and Eden Prairie High School! She is a dance teacher and works with the MN Vikings. It’s amazing. We have been married for about 2.5 years now. Now, I did not take the normal college route right out of high school. I actually joined the Army National Guard during November of my senior year, when I was 17 years old. I joined as an 11b infantryman. So, my job was to learn the tactics and skills of the main combat job in the United States Army. It was awesome. I got to shoot the craziest guns ever, drive the coolest vehicles, fly in helicopters, sleep in the woods, and play with explosives (examples - grenades, tanks, claymores, rocket launchers, etc). What better job is out there (this job clearly).

(SUMMARIZE THIS PART) In 2021, I got deployed to the Middle East, where I spent 9 months in 2 different countries, Kuwait and Syria. We started in Kuwait for about 4 months and then went to Syria for about 5. The beauty of the Army is you are intermingled with people of SO many different upbringings and backgrounds, and you put them together in a room and teach them how to operate as a family. It is pretty hard to adapt to but, it turns into an EXTREMELY tight knit family. Even the guys that you really do not like, you love like family and would have there back at any given second no matter what they have done.

There are 3 guys in particular that I grew to love like family. (photo of Biggs, MTZ, and Nelly). This is us in Syria in 2021. Myself, Biggs, Martinez, and Nelson. Now, I didn’t know these guys at all up until about a month before we deployed. Fun fact, I really did not like one of them. But, over time, we grew to be brothers. We LOVED each other. If one of us needed something, we were there. It did not matter what it was, what they did, or what they needed. We were there. They all had different lives than I did. But, it did not matter. They were (and still are) family. We NEEDED each other. Both mentally and physically. Mentally it was hard to be gone from home and in danger that long. Physically, we needed to have one another backs in the face of danger so that we could trust that we would keep each other safe and alive.

Need

JH - You NEED to hear this story because we are talking about affection. Love for family. How whether or not we are biologically a family, we who love Jesus are all ONE family united in Him. The world is going to feed you lies about what it means to actually love and be loved. Over the next 4 weeks, we are going to be digging into a new series called Love By Design. We are going to be looking at God’s design for love in 4 different ways - affection, friendship, romance, and charity.

Big Idea - SLIDE

My big idea for you is Affection is humble and it loves the unloveable. But, we need to know what affection is. Affection is the humblest kind of love. It sees no wrongs, it is quiet, it is kind, and it loves the unloveable. It LOVES what is good. Some of you may think of affection as only a physical love. It is MORE than a physical love. It is shown in your daily actions or words toward people. It is loving someone like Christ loves us.

Text Set Up

The apostle Paul writes about how we should love another in the book of Romans - take bibles out. Romans 12:9-10.

Text - SLIDE

Romans 12:9–10 CSB

9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good. 10 Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another.

Point 1 - Affection is Humble - SLIDE

What does this mean?

This means that affection does not pick favorites! It is not a loud, arrogant love. It is the kind of love that is like a mother figure in our lives that takes care of a new born baby or raised us into who we are today. How many of you can remember being a newborn baby? None of you, right! How many of you can say that you took care of yourself when you were born? None of you! People who were like mothers to us, grandmas, aunts, sisters, etc, are the people that nurse us to life! Our needs became their needs. When we cried in our beds at night, they came to get us, when we were hungry, they fed us. When we needed to be changed, they changed us because they loved us

Affection is needed to LIVE! It is needed to properly LOVE. Affection LOVES what is GOOD. Another translation of this passage says to “Love one another with GENUINE affection.” This love is real. It is not fake. But most of all, this love is kind.

1 Corinthians 13:4 CSB

4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant.

Paul writes this as a way for us to see that love is a daily choice. Affection is not self centered but other’s focused.

I was thinking about affection and how it relates to something you guys may be familiar with. Who has seen the movie frozen? Who’s favorite character in Frozen is Olaf?

I was thinking about Olaf! (PHOTO) Honestly, I couldn’t think of anyone that reminds me of Olaf more than Ryan! Their personalities are the exact same! They love everyone so much and always seek to serve another person.

There were these quotes that Olaf said that I think perfectly reflect what it means to show affection. So, for those who do not know who Olaf is, he is a snowman… that talks… a better frosty in my opinion.

(SUMMARIZE) One of the things he said was when he and princess Anna meet each other. Anna and Kristoff get freaked out by him, the kick his head off, call his gross and he responds with a smile and says “I’m Olaf! I like warm hugs!”…… all while not knowing that warm hugs would melt him! He just wanted to greet and love them.

Another one he said is when he is comforting Anna. She is freezing cold and he starts a fire. He is standing by the fire and Anna goes “Olaf! You’re melting!” His response? “Some people are worth melting for!” she says “I don’t even know what love is.” and Olaf replies with “love is putting someone else’s needs before your own”.

Olaf demonstrated what humble affection looks like. He didn’t fear that he would melt, he just wanted to go out of his way to serve someone who was hurting and needed to be loved on.

Some people are easy to love! It may come naturally to show affection to specific individuals. There are instances where sometimes it may not be that easy to love someone.

Points 2 - Affection loves the unloveable - SLIDE

As we read earlier in Romans 12, Paul says to lead by HONORING one another. How do you lead and love someone by honoring them? You love them even when it is hard.

Maybe there are some people in your life that are seriously just hard to love. No matter what you do, you find it hard to love them! It seems like they’re always on your nerves, always messing up, always doing something wrong. Or maybe, they're the ones getting you into trouble for things you didn’t even do!

Paul in Romans 12 tells us that are are to love one another DEEPLY and to HONOR one another. Affection overlooks wrongdoings. Just as Jesus forgave us and sees us as his perfect creation. When we are showing affection, we choose to look past what people have done and love them for who they are.

How many of you in here have siblings? How many of you love your sibling every single day? How many of you find it pretty hard to love your sibling every day….. Here is my challenge for you! Try and see them like God sees them. He has brought us all together as a family in Christ. He has brought all of us together unified by one common thing - his son. He has loved us for our imperfections and loves us even when we mess up! The next time your sibling annoys you or makes you angry, go out of your way to serve them and love them. Or maybe, be the first to apologize if you get in an argument.

Affection offers kindness and love to someone who has wronged us.

I think one of the best ways that I can imagine affection or loving someone who may be to hard to love, is to think about how a dog reacts when you walk in the door or it meets someone knew.

*Get Lemmy from back stage* I have to grab something from back stage quick! BRB!

Explain Lemmy - when I get home, he goes nuts - as if he hasn’t seen me in years. When someone comes over, he runs laps around the yard in excitement. He doesn’t care who you are, he loves.

Invite someone one stage to meet him

Lemmy gets on my nerves and sometimes I freak out at him! He really bothers me sometime! But what does he do after I yell at him? He comes right up next to me with a toy, drops it on my lap and licks my face or my hand.

This is what is looks like to love the unloveable. You see past their wrongs and you love them for who they are.

*Put Lemmy backstage with Maggie*

Jesus demonstrated this for all of us to see by dying on the cross for our sins so that we may experience eternal life with him.

Philippians 2:8 CSB

8 he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death— even to death on a cross.

He did that for us. He did that for me and for you.

Close/Application

As you go into small groups tonight, think about people in your lives that you love. The equivalent to my Nelson, Biggs, Martinez. The people you'd move mountains for. Now thing about the specific people in your life that you really do not love. I challenge you this week to go out of your way to love them by going above and beyond to serve them.

Here is how you can show loving affection toward your parents - offer to do the dishes, clean your room the first time when they ask, don’t complain when they ask you to do something!

Maybe if you have a sibling - love them like your parents would. Treat them with kindness and include them in your daily activities! Forgive them if they have wronged you!

This is how we show affection to our family and our friends.

Lets pray.