Grow in Your Love for Your Spouse
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
Newspaper columnist and minister George Crane tells of a wife who came into his office full of hatred toward her husband. "I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me."
Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan "Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you've convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that your're getting a divorce. That will really hurt him." With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, "Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!" And she did it with enthusiasm. Acting "as if." For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing. When she didn't return, Crane called. "Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?"
"Divorce?" she exclaimed. "Never! I discovered I really do love him." Her actions had [876hanged her feelings. Motion resulted in emotion. The ability to love is established not so much by fervent promise as often repeated deeds.
Loving Your Spouse is the Right Way to Love Yourself
Loving Your Spouse is the Right Way to Love Yourself
It is interesting that there is much talk in our culture today from Psychologists, to educators, and even to some clergy about loving yourself. While there is no verses in the Bible that teaches us to love ourselves Jesus does acknowledge that our human nature is to love ourselves.
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.
Why did Jesus tell us to love our neighbor as ourselves? Well, I think that answer is clear. Jesus knew that we, by nature, love ourselves. We can be selfish and self-serving. Some people are more selfish than others, but we all have it in us to put ourselves before others. It is very easy to find Scriptures that contradict our human nature and, as Christians, call us to be different. But if one must love themselves then here is the right way to do it.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
When a couple marries that Bible says that they become one. Their spiritual lives are intertwined. Other areas of their lives that was once all their own is now one as well. From the place they live to the bank accounts they have to the debts they owe. So, when you show love for your spouse it is showing love for yourself as well. The difference is that you don’t love her for your own selfish gain. You show love to your wife because you have chosen her to be your life long companion and ladies you love your husband, not because of what he does for you, but because he is the man you have chosen to be your provider and protector. Everything that you do from the time of marriage then is to show love toward one another because you are one.
When you show your spouse kindness, respect, compassion, grace, mercy, and honesty then you are doing all those things to yourself as well. When you get married you now look out for your spouse like you used to look out for yourself. When you get married you do for your spouse what you might have only done for yourself before. When you get married you think about how a decision or action might affect your spouse like you used to think about how it affected just you.
While loving yourself is not a biblical concept loving your spouse and those around you can be the only right way to love yourself.
Loving Your Spouse is a Way to Be a Disciple of Christ
Loving Your Spouse is a Way to Be a Disciple of Christ
A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
Sermon ILLUSTRATION
There is an old story that illustrates the principle of loving one another in marriage. A drunkard husband, spending the evening with his jovial companions at a tavern, boasted that if he took a group of his friends home with him at midnight and asked his Christian wife to get up and cook supper for them, she would do it without complaint. The crowd considered it a vain boast and dared him to try it. So the drunken crowd followed him home, and he made the unreasonable demands of his wife. She obeyed, dressed, came down, and prepared a very nice supper and served it as cheerfully as if she had been expecting them.
After supper one of the men asked her how she could be so kind when they had been so unreasonable and when she did not approve of their conduct. Her reply was: “Sir, when my husband and I were married, we were both sinners. It has pleased God to call me out of that dangerous condition. My husband continues in it. I tremble for his future state. Were he to die as he is, he would be miserable forever. I think it my duty to render his present existence as comfortable as possible.” Not long after, her husband was saved.
Most of us would have flipped out on our spouse if they had done something so careless, but if we are going to be a disciple of Christ we are going to have to learn to love our spouses. Can someone say that they are a disciple of Christ if they do not love their spouse? Can someone say that they are right with God if they do not love their spouse? Can someone say that they are a good Christian without loving their spouse? I think we all know that answer to these questions is no. Many of the problems in marriages today is because the people in them do not give any thought to being a disciple of Christ. If they were a disciple of Christ they would be a servant to their spouse. If they were a disciple of Christ they would have less expectations for their spouse and more expectations for themselves. If they were a disciple of Christ they would not focus on how decisions in the marriage will affect them, but how it will affect their spouse. If they were a disciple of Christ they would care more about what their spouse enjoys. If they were a disciple of Christ they would care more about where their spouse wants to eat dinner when they go out.
MUCH OF OUR PROBLEMS WITHIN MARRIAGES COULD BE SOLVED IF WE WERE BETTER DISCIPLES.
Many spouses are trying to figure out how to make their spouse a better person for themselves when their focus should really be on being a better disciple of Jesus. If all spouses everywhere dedicated themselves to being better disciples we would automatically have better husbands and better wives.
Loving Your Spouse is a Way to Teach Others to Love
Loving Your Spouse is a Way to Teach Others to Love
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Marriage is to be a picture of Christ’s love for the church. The love that a man shows to his wife is a mirror in which should be able to look for Christ’s love. When we love our spouses the way that Christ loves the church then we teach others how to love and of his love.
In Titus 2:4-5 it states that women are to teach the young to love their husbands. As Ephesians 5:25 it tells men to love their wives and so we can understand that it is a man’s responsibility to teach his sons to love their wives. It is necessary not only for us to love our spouses, but to show love for our spouses that we might teach others to love as Christ loves.
We need more Christians spreading love throughout our country and throughout the world. It is hard to speak of Christs love toward them if we do not allow that love to shine through our own lives. Love for our God and Love for our spouses should only be the beginning of our love for others.
We need to grow in our love for our God and for our spouses that the love of God might spread in our hearts.
And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Through the Holy Spirit we spread the love of God in our hearts. When we love our spouses we show forth the love of God that we have in our hearts through the Holy Spirit of God. So when we don’t show love to our spouses we are making a false representation of Christ. We mar the name of Christ when we do not love our spouses because we do not reflect the love of God through the love that have for our spouse.
How can we say that God loves and not show the love of God to our spouse?
How can we say that God loves and fail to reflect that love to others when we claim that his love flows through us?
How can we expect other people to believe upon the Lord Jesus Christ who showed the greatest form of Love if we do not reflect that same love though we claim his name?
Conclusion
Conclusion
Do you love your spouse?
Here is a good test for the answer to that question, “Do you love God?” We talked much of this last Sunday, but it remains true that without a love for God then we cannot have a genuine love for our spouse.
Does your love for your spouse reflect Christ’s love for the church?
Such love is powerful, genuine, unwavering, full of commitment, humble, prefers others, and seeks to serve those that love.
Does your love for your spouse encourage others to love?
When we love, we teach others to love. When we fail in our love we teach others how not to love. What does our love teach others?
Does your love for your spouse point others to Christ?
When we love our spouse it is a reflection of Christ in us. Since we are made in the image of God even unbelievers can, at times, reflect the love of God. A Christian’s love surpasses that of just any man; it should run deeper, flow longer, and endure further than any man made in the image of God. Believers are to mirror the love that God has shown to the entire world. Despite hurts, indiscretions, and wrongs the love of God runs deeps, flows longer, and endures farther than any person that does not have Christ living in them. Our love for our spouse should reflect the love of Christ to others.
