Journey Mate

Ephesians 5:22–30 NIV

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.

For the first three verses I am going to pick on the wives, but take note that the other 6 are for the men.

Ephesians 5:22–30 NIV

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

Don’t chase me out just yet.

Sadly we as a culture we have a very perverted and twisted understanding of the word submit.

It has a harsh connotation about it. That of being controlled and a lack of voice.

But as I have said before it is like a dance, one must lead and one must submit or the dance will not work or flow right.

Ephesians 5:22–30 NIV

23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

Now for some this may seem like a verse for the wives… but it is for the husbands.

Men listen up. You are the head of the house weather you want to be or not. Your actions will either lead your house closer to the Lord or away from the Lord.

There are various responsibilities that fall on the head of the house.

1. As the head that makes you the one on point, the first defence of danger to the home structure.

2. The Security of the Wife, that means Physically, Spiritually, Emotionally, and Mentally.

These are Her needs gentlemen

It is easy for husbands to fall into the trap of thinking that if they are just good physical providers they are being good husbands. So much is missed when we fall for that lie.

Ephesians 5:24 NIV

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Paul kept this verse simple, when he said the words “in every thing”.

This implies that he is referring to more than just faith matters, he is indeed referring to everything.

Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition 2. Between Wives and Husbands 5:22–33

We know from other experiences that we run into trouble when we endeavor to make a distinction between what is “spiritual” and what is “secular” in our lives.

For the Christian, there is no distinction between the two. The lordship of Christ comes over the entirety of our human experience.

Those who attempt to isolate areas and activities apart from the faith are on a rough road to destruction.

Marriages that distinguish between marital and individual experiences are on the same highway. The two become one; any attempts to divide this relationship by distinction are destructive.

Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition 2. Between Wives and Husbands 5:22–33

The first three verses, directed to wives, become distorted if they are not considered in light of the verses which follow. While the submission to one another may not be mutual by means of the same expression, it is mutual in the sense of responsibility. Any attempt to interpret this section with a “Me, Tarzan; you, Jane” mentality distorts the first three verses, and must completely deny the instructions that follow.

Ephesians 5:25 NIV

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Fire Bible Chapter 5

Submission in the marriage relationship is not the attitude required only of wives

Fire Bible Chapter 5

In fact, as the head of the home, the husband is to take the lead in submitting to and serving the best interests of his wife and children.

Fire Bible Chapter 5

He must help his wife fulfill her God-given roles at home, in the church and in all aspects of life. The fact that the husband is called to love his wife “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” is an extreme challenge

Fire Bible Chapter 5

It is hardly possible for any human to love even Christ as much as he loves us, and yet the husband is charged with the responsibility of loving his wife in that way.

Fire Bible Chapter 5

Of course, this does not mean that we are to love any person over God, but rather that the husband is to follow Christ’s example of showing self-sacrificing love for his wife. In this way, the husband is actually called to a more extreme expression of submission and devotion than is the wife.

An expectation that He will be judged for

Ephesians 5:26 NIV

26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,

What on earth does that mean? To wash her in the Word?

Men we are to be the spiritual leaders of our home, that includes the reading of the Word in our homes, the proclaiming of the Word in our homes, and the Application of the Word in out homes.

The cleansing power of God’s Word takes please when it is read, it cleanses our souls and makes us whole.

Husbands you are to be cleansing your spouse in the Word.

Ephesians 5:27 NIV

27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition 2. Between Wives and Husbands 5:22–33

Jesus died to be able to present his bride to himself as a radiant church, without stain … or any other blemish, but holy and blameless

Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition 2. Between Wives and Husbands 5:22–33

Such a thought should humble every husband.

Who we are as husbands is directly reflected by our wives. Their beauty in holiness is directly related to our sacrificial love or the lack thereof.

Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition 2. Between Wives and Husbands 5:22–33

Thus, if the husband is fulfilling his responsibility in the marriage relationship, it is to the wife’s own benefit to submit to her husband, since he only has her best interest in mind.

Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition 2. Between Wives and Husbands 5:22–33

However, if the husband is not fulfilling his part, the wife should still continue in submission so that he might be saved (see

Ephesians 5:28 NIV

28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body.

 Paul’s statement must be taken in a general sense, as specific exceptions to this statement can be found. Emotional disorders with self-destructive tendencies reveal that there are people who are unhappy with themselves.

This self-loathing can become the fertile ground for discontent, which subsequently is taken out on the spouse. If we do not like what we see in the mirror, we must endeavor to change it, even by the most destructive of means. How we feel about ourselves will influence how we treat those around us.

 Mark A. Holmes, Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition (Indianapolis, IN: Wesleyan Publishing House, 1997), 175.

in closing I wanted to add verse 33

Ephesians 5:33 NIV

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

lets pause right there just for a second.

Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition 2. Between Wives and Husbands 5:22–33

First, he tells us that Christ loved the church and expressed this love when he gave himself up for her in death

Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition 2. Between Wives and Husbands 5:22–33

Second, Jesus relates to His church by feeding it and caring for it.

Naturally we are going to try and take care of ourselves, get food when we are hungry, take a nap when tired, drink water when thirsty, avoid danger…

We are to feed our families in every capacity that we can.

Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition 2. Between Wives and Husbands 5:22–33

There are four instructions Paul lists in this section of Ephesians for wives in relationship to their husbands: (1) Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord (

Requiring wives to submit to husbands, as we have noted, matches widespread Greek and Jewish teaching about marriage. Requiring husbands to love their wives does not.

Douglas J. Moo

This was a radical teaching for Paul to give at the time. A teaching that elevated the wife to the places God designed her to be, a place of immense honor as she works in tandem with her husband.

Not as one who is weaker or lesser, but as one who fills the gaps that her husband has.

In return the Husband covers her in his love, provision, and protection.

In order for this to work as it should both the Husband and the wife are to be in complete submission to the Lord in all of their ways.

Take home questions:

What areas of your life do you need to submit to the Lord?

Wives do you need to take a step of trust and submit to your husband?

Husband do you need to take a leap of faith and realize that your provision comes from the Lord and it is through your submission of control that the Lord allows you to properly be a provider?

Lets Pray.