Building Inspectors: Check your Influences

Introduction

Good morning everyone! Did you guys sleep well/eat well?

Before we begin, I would like all of you to do something for me. Look at your neighbor on the right and say “top ‘o the morning to ya.” Great. Now do it to the person on your left. Fantastic. Wow. Don’t you feel encouraged?

I can tell I’m already having an influence on you guys. Speaking of influence, that’s what we’re going to talk about this morning. So let’s pray before we begin.

Pray

Fish in Water

There were two young fish having a conversation in a large fishbowl one day when an older fish comes up to them while he was on his way to the office. While he was on his way to work, or whatever, he says, “how’s the water today boys?” As he’s leaving the two younger fish look at each other and one of them asks, “what’s water?”

Picking up Influences

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to go with the flow in your life but how much harder it is to see what’s moving the current? I have a problem when I spend a long time with a group of people. Eventually I adopt some of their mannerisms, words or phrases they use, or even dialect. I’m going on a mission trip at the end of March to Italy and then I’m going to visit my sister and her family in England after that. If I’m really quick to adopt some of the traits or mannerisms or words of those cultures, I’m going to come home talking about pasta fagioli or saying “It’s a me, Mario,” or “God save the King” and my family is going to be kind of annoyed.

If I just go with the flow, and stop paying attention to my influences, what I’m surrounded by, I pick up habits and mannerisms I might not otherwise examine and see if they’re actually worth picking up. Do these things help me? What’s the goal?

When I was 13, my parents would drive me friends to punk rock shows. One of the bands we saw was Anti-Flag. My friends and I listened to their albums a lot, and came away from those experiences with an understanding that it was good to overthrow the government. By the way, don’t do this. This is not a good idea. I don’t think you should want to overthrow the government. Please invite me back.

Needless to say, the show in Denver was alright. One of my friends got head butted pretty good in the mosh pit, and had a pretty good cut above his eyebrow. Again, we’re 13. When my mom picked us up in her minivan she asked, “how’d it go? did you guys have a good time?” In hindsight, it was kind of surreal.

How did we get to that point? What drives a 13 year old to go to punk rock protest shows and want to overthrow the government? The most succinct answer I can give is his influences.

I had a large hole in my life when my parents divorced as a kid. It only took some mild affirmation from a weird group of kids to draw me into their circle.

Proverbs 13:20 ESV

20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

I’m amazed that I didn’t suffer more harm based on who I was friends with.

I think it’s only by God’s grace that I didn’t end up following the additional influence of my friends at that time. My goal at the time was just to “not be alone.” I didn’t consider how my friends might influence me to live against God. My friends lived a life according to sex, drugs, alcohol. and punk rock. God spared me from all of that, except the punk rock. If I think of how I functioned in the group, like if we were a car, I was always the brake on the car, trying to slow them down from driving off of the cliff.

Take a minute here and ask yourself the question: Who is it that you follow? Who are your influences?

Here’s another question: When do you know to stop following someone? Whether it’s unfollowing, unsubscribing, unfriending, unliking, and generally not being around that person?

One of the most difficult things for people to do is to make relationships with people that they shouldn’t be around in the first place, only to realize how they aren’t a good influence and need to leave those friendships. It hurts! Sometimes, we make an idol out of our friendships. “We need to have them!,” or, “It’s a part of my identity to associate with these people!”

That last one is kinda scary. There’s some truth to it. Who you associate with becomes part of your identity. Who your friends are is an indicator of what you believe.

The last letter the Apostle Paul wrote is 2 Timothy.

Why don’t you turn in your bibles to 2 Timothy 3 because that ‘s where we’re going to be this morning.

Paul is at the end of his life. He’s gone through shipwrecks, and arrests, and honestly most people don’t know what to do with Paul. At one point in His ministry he is persecuting Christians. After he meets Christ on the road to Damascus in Acts 9, he is radically different. He’s now trying to convict the people he sided with, and reaching the gentiles for Christ which the early church has a hard time with (Acts 15).

2 Timothy is the last book Paul writes in the New Testament. It’s like a farewell letter from an older man to the man he has poured into and mentored.

Think of the most mature Christian you’ve ever met. The kind of person who can smile even in their most depressed moments because they believe the hope of the gospel. As we’re reading this together, think of Paul in that same way as he’s talking to his disciple Timothy. In the first two chapters of 2 Timothy, Paul is urging Timothy to stay true to the gospel. To not be ashamed of it, and even to suffer for it. Paul wants Timothy to stay away from false teaching, even as Timothy confronts people who are telling falsehoods about the gospel.

In chapter 3, Paul is talking about how being opposed to Christ and His teaching defines the last days. It’s a really long last days.

Read 2 Timothy 3:1-9 – Those to Avoid

2 Timothy 3:1–9 ESV

1 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 6 For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, 7 always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith. 9 But they will not get very far, for their folly will be plain to all, as was that of those two men.

Read some of those traits again.

These aren’t good things. This is the opposite to another list Paul writes in Galatians 5:22-23. A list of what a Christian is supposed to look like.

Galatians 5:22–23 ESV

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

There are even people who look godly in Paul’s list, but aren’t! They actually deny the power of God. These are the people who believe that God is real, but that he’s really there to make us behave good, more or less. He doesn’t actually condemn anyone for their sins. Jesus was a good teacher, but he never came out of the tomb. That’s impossible. It’s too miraculous. No one can cheat death.

We see these kinds of qualities every day don’t we? All I have to do is turn on the television to see what kind of programming we’re being sold. What we’re buying. What we’re influenced by.

By the way, whenever you watch a program, youtube video, post on social, you’re helping feed an algorithm that investors use to promote that same content to you and to your friends. If you think you’re not influenced by your friends online, just think of the last time someone showed you a picture, post, movie, or video. We’re influenced far more easily than we like to admit because it’s easier to believe we’re in control.

2 Timothy 3:5 says to “avoid such people.” We can’t leave this world behind, because there’s no way to not be around these people completely. Rather, we shouldn’t allow these people to get close enough to us to influence us. We may work alongside them, we make acquaintances with them. We should love them with the gospel, but we shouldn’t give in to their beliefs and let them influence ours.

How can we practice endurance in what we believe for when we encounter people like this? It’s one thing to just say that we should abstain or flee from these kinds of behaviors. It’s another thing to see how life isn’t just about fleeing. Make no mistake there are some sinful behaviors we should flee immediately, sexual sin specifically. But we can’t leave this world, and we’re not made to be alone.

Remember, it’s hard to leave friendships.

Relationships like Onions

Relationships are like cutting onions. Ogres are also like onions, but if you don’t get that reference then ask your parents. Relationships have layers. Imagine the onion having shallow layers and deep layers. As your friendship increases with someone, the knife penetrates deeper layers. This isn’t a bad thing, the knife is kind of a measure as to the kinds of conversations you can have. There’s trust and intimacy and care as you get deeper and deeper in your friendship.

But what happens when you start to back the knife out?

All of the sudden, the depths of the relationship recede. It starts to get more shallow and awkward because you don’t go to the same places you once went to. Not only that, but the onion now has a noticeable wound from the knife being pulled out. It hurts. We feel the loss of what we once had, and sometimes we wish we never had that friendship to begin with because it hurt so much.

We must be careful with our friendships. Who we make friends with. What we become friends over. It’s painful to leave a relationship, but that doesn’t mean we should neglect them either. It’s about who to trust. Who we influence, and who we let influence us. Check your friendships. Check your influences.

What kinds of influences should we allow in our lives? What kinds of friendships?

What is the influence we should embrace when instead of pursuing worldly influence?

That’s where Paul goes next.

Read 2 Timothy 3:10-15 – Those to Trust

2 Timothy 3:10–15 ESV

10 You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, 11 my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra—which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me. 12 Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 13 while evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it 15 and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.

Paul is telling Timothy that He should follow his example! Wait, can someone young be friends with someone older? Absolutely! Paul loved Timothy as if he were his own son! Friendships don’t need to happen outside of the family for them to be legitimate.

Look for these kinds of friendships, where you can see someone’s life, conduct, teaching, faith, patience, love and steadfastness for the gospel of Jesus Christ. What do these traits mean? They mean that our influence should be ordered around the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Paul is making the case here that Timothy shouldn’t follow the people he listed before. He should remember what he has learned. He should embrace persecution.

Victims

Persecution is a badge of honor in our culture. The LGBT community believes it is persecuted because of its behavior. They don’t even justify their behavior in “I was born this way” anymore. They just believe that people should be able to do whatever they want.. The Mormon’s believe they’re persecuted because of their religion. The government came after them because they had multiple wives, but now that their newer apostles changed the teaching, they are ok.

The truth is all love being a victim. Victims are the ones who need vindicated, rescued, redeemed. We are the underdog in the story. The hero always serves at the behest of the victim. Victim’s always win the hearts of people.

The truth though is that while we are all victims of sin, we don’t think of ourselves as perpetrators of sin. We want to justify our behavior no matter the cost. “I was hurt!” “I was wronged” We fail to realize is that we will never be justified in sin, even when it’s presented to us. We need God to work in our lives to change our hearts.

Once our hearts are changed, why would we go back to influencing ourselves with wicked people? Instead we should turn to those who faithfully live and endure hardships while promoting the gospel of Jesus Christ and living as God wants us to live.

How do we become equipped to do that? What has God given us as a shield and a sword to cut through the darkness of this world? He has given us His Word.

Read 2 Timothy 3:16-17 – Equipped to be Whole

The first and last time I tried jiu jitsu I was wholly unprepared. I had an intense 2-hour cross-fit style workout that included running, cycling, pushups, and burpees. Oh, and squats. I discovered some muscles I didn’t realize I had, and wish that I never knew about them in the first place because they hurt so bad.

Pro-tip: Don’t eat a giant piece of lemon meringue pie before you work out. I was retching in the parking lot of the local grocery store after and let me tell you it was not pretty.

It’s foolish to think you’re prepared to fight someone in jiujitsu when you can’t even keep your stomach. We need to be trained. It’s foolish to think you can run a marathon when you’ve been eating chips and playing video games on the couch for 5 years. It’s foolish to think you can write a paper for class when you put off learning its content.

2 Timothy 3:16–17 ESV

16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

This means the Old Testament and the New Testament are profitable for us. We use them to teach about God, His Story, His Character, how He wants us to live, and His Gospel.

We use this book to reprove one another. That means, we use it like the bumper rails when you go bowling. We don’t beat someone up with it, but when someone hits the rails we redirect them to the pins.

We correct one another with the Word. That means that when someone says something that isn’t according to God, we use the Word to show where they are mistaken.

We also use it to train for righteousness. Athletes train for a competition. Computer coders and programmers know their code before they hit git.hub. Songwriters know how songs are made before they just start hitting the strings on a guitar or keys on a keyboard. Christians need to know God’s Word as the way they train for what they are supposed to be.

What are they supposed to be? Complete. Whole.

“Equipped” means “mended.” That implies that something is broken. It means “to be made perfect.” That means you are imperfect. It means “to set a broken bone.” That means you are wounded. To be complete one day means you aren’t now.

That’s why you need God’s Word. You train with it to be complete because God wants you to be whole and healed as a person.

If you follow those who live like wicked people, don’t be surprised if you are trained to be more wicked. To believe lies. To love and live like people who hate to be made whole by God’s Word.

Follow those who want you to be made whole. Make friends with these people. Follow those who set boundaries like bumpers at the bowling alley. Who correct you, even harshly if it’s needed to make sure you are on the path to be made whole. Make friends with people who want you to grow.

Proverbs 17:17 ESV

17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 27:17 ESV

17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Read God’s Word for yourself! If you want to be made whole, train for it. Train for it and grow in it. It’s not something additive. Training for a sport, future job, or hobby won’t make you whole. Only God, through Christ, through His Spirit, through His Word, can make you whole.

Here’s a good example: Take 15 minutes each morning to do a few things.

Read one chapter of your bible.

I highly recommend the ESV daily reading bible. It has some explanation before you read a section, and makes you answer a question about what you just read. If you want to learn how to read the bible and be equipped in it, this is a great starting place.

Pray

Write your prayers. Even 2-5 minutes.

Conclusion

Application

Let me put it another way to you: as a Christian, am I doing what a Christian is supposed to be doing? How do I know I’m doing it? What can I look at with confidence to see if I’m a faithful Christian or not?

Let me put it yet another way to you: if you looked like your Youth Group, talked about what your Youth Group talked about, prayed like your Youth Group, sang the same songs as your Youth Group, but in actuality your Youth Group was against the true God, how would you know?

We must stop looking to one another to see what a faithful Christian looks like and start looking to the Word of God to see what a faithful Christian looks like. When we read His Word, we see that we are sinners from birth. It takes not the power or piety of men to save us, but the power of Jesus Christ to transform our lives completely. The only acceptable response to true believers who place their faith in Him is to repent from the world, even the American Youth Christian subculture if needed, and pursue holiness.

Matthew 7:24–27 ESV

24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Proverbs 13:20 ESV

20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

The implication of a verse like this is you become like the company you keep. Who you abide with is who you become like. We talked two nights ago about God’s desire for us to “not be alone.”

So. Don’t be alone. Seek God through His Word and Prayer. Seek others who abide to the vine of Jesus and walk with them.

There are friends among you. There are acquaintances among you. Some of you know how you’ve been a bad influence. Some of you know how you’ve seen God’s work in your life. Most of you know you’ve a bit of both. Accept God’s grace for your lives and share it with one another. Encourage one another just as Iron sharpens Iron helping you to be perfected for the glory of Christ. Don’t waste the opportunity you have this weekend to pour into one another for the sake of the gospel. Halve your sorrows, and double your joys. Become friends with Jesus Christ and each other.

Let’s pray

Pray

Questions

How can we identify unhealthy influences in our lives that we need to take a step back from?

In what ways can we actively seek out friends who encourage us in our faith?

What does it mean to be 'equipped' by God's Word, and how does that affect our relationships?

How can we have difficult conversations about negative influences with friends who may not understand?

How can recognizing the 'water' around us help us make better choices in our friendships?