Healthy Relationships

The Mirror of Mercy: Seeing Ourselves in Others

Bible Passage: Matthew 7:1–5

Summary: In Matthew 7:1-5, Jesus teaches about the importance of self-examination before judging others, emphasizing that one must first address their own faults to foster genuine connections and understanding with others.

Application: This sermon will encourage believers to reflect on their own behaviors and attitudes in relationships, helping them realize that true love and community can only thrive when they prioritize their growth and humility rather than pointing out others' flaws.

Teaching: The teachings draw attention to the tendency of humans to judge others superficially while neglecting their own issues. By applying these principles, Christians can cultivate empathy, patience, and a spirit of restoration in their relationships.

How this passage could point to Christ: This passage points to Christ as the ultimate example of grace and humility. Just as He examined hearts and offered forgiveness without condemnation, Christians are called to reflect that love in their relationships with one another.

Big Idea: Healthy relationships are built on the foundation of self-awareness and grace; when we confront our own shortcomings, we can foster more understanding and support for each other.

Recommended Study: Consider exploring commentaries on Matthew 7 in Logos to understand more about the cultural context of judgment in first-century Jewish society. Investigate the Greek terms for 'judge' and 'hypocrite' for a clearer grasp on Jesus' intent. It may also be beneficial to study parallel passages in the Gospels to see how similar themes are explored in different contexts.

Intro

Relationships are like competing in the Indy 500. For those who don’t know, the Indy 500 is like the World Cup or the Super Bowl of Race Car driving. It’s 200 laps around a track that measures 2 1/2 miles long.

Relationships are just as high speed and complicated as we saw in the video. The smallest misjudgment can cause us to spin out and even affect those around us causing an even bigger and devastating crash scene.

To be successful in the Indy 500 you need to be a professional driver. Our professional driver is Jesus and he is the one who can empower and steer our relationships in the right direction.

And so our Pastor has been talking about love and truth being the foundation to healthy relationships. Not to love the way the world has established love, but to love the way he has taught us to love.

John 15:12 “This is my commandment, that ye love one another, even as I have loved you.”

And why didn’t Jesus just say “love one another” and he had to say as I have loved you?

Much of what we call love is just polite selfishness.

We may say I love you but what we really mean is “I love you because..… what you do for me, pretty, smart, etc.

Or we really mean “I love you if..… you meet my needs, you’re not too much trouble, etc.

Or I love you when....I’ve had a good day, when I feel like it, etc

But Jesus calls us to a higher kind of love.

And we were not meant to do it alone. He says “As I have loved you” which means HE can give us the kind of power in our relationship that we never thought was possible.

The power to love and grow in a way that we don’t have to feel so worn out at the end of the day.

And He gives us so many examples in scripture.

But I want to talk about something that can become a real threat to loving as Jesus loved and that is how we judge others.

You see, if truth and love are a strong foundation of healthy relationships then integrity and mercy are building blocks for healthy relationships.

So we need to consider and reflect on our own behaviors and attitudes as it relates to how we judge others close or not so close to us.

1. Pause Before Passing Judgment

Matthew 7:1 “Judge not, that ye be not judged.”

There is a lot of power in what Jesus teaches us about judgement. Unfortunately, this verse gets misinterpreted quite often. And if we want it to have any impact in our lives, we must reject the false interpretation of what Jesus is saying here.

The wrong approach to being nonjudgmental says “You live your life and I will live mine. I won’t say anything about your life, and you won’t say anything about my life. It is such a big deal for us when we get confronted about things we don’t want to change in our lives.

But then if you read Matthew 7:6 “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before the swine, lest haply they trample them under their feet, and turn and rend you.”

Here Jesus is encouraging us to discern someone’s willingness to listen to the truth. And here is we are able to see what Jesus was trying to teach us about judgement. Not being judgmental doesn’t mean you can’t be discerning; nor does it mean you can’t say it is right to do one thing and wrong to do another.

To illegitimately judge is to create your own standard of what is acceptable and measure everyone against it, hypocritically critiquing them.

God has a set standard by which we can live by. 2 Timothy 3:16–17 “Every scripture inspired of God is also profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction which is in righteousness: that the man of God may be complete, furnished completely unto every good work.”

God's Word is the standard, so examine yourself first before passing judgment or setting expectations to ensure you are following.

Imagine standing in front of a mirror, every flaw magnified as you critique yourself harshly. Now envision someone else doing the same to you, pointing out every imperfection while forgetting their own. This is the danger of judgment - it blinds us to our own faults while we mercilessly scrutinize others. As we choose to accept our brokenness, we can extend that grace to those around us, embodying the spirit of ‘Judge not, that ye be not judged.’

Perhaps you could start by highlighting how quick we can be to pass judgment on others without understanding the full context. You might note that Jesus calls us to be discerning yet gracious, reminding us that the same standards we apply to others will be used for us. This point suggests that we foster humility by recognizing our own fallibility, which helps us build healthier relationships.

2. Measure of Mercy

Matthew 7:2 “For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”

Every judgment that a person makes becomes a basis for his or her own judgment.

In the Bible, we see the story of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:32–33 “Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’”). After being forgiven a massive debt, the servant turned and demanded payment from a fellow servant for a tiny fraction of what he owed. When the king learned of this, he was outraged! This story reminds us that the judgment we render towards others can have severe consequences, reflecting how we view God’s mercy towards us. If we want mercy, we must extend mercy.

Here is where we see the need of grace and mercy. Grace is receiving what we don’t deserve and mercy is not getting what we do deserve.

A lot of people say “I just can’t forgive”. But do you know

You could elaborate on the reciprocity principle Jesus teaches: the measure we use to judge others will be the measure used against us. Maybe this encourages us to extend grace and mercy, as we would desire to receive. By adopting a generous and forgiving heart, we become agents of peace in our relationships, reflecting Christ’s kindness and understanding.

3. Admit Your Own Imperfections

Matthew 7:3-4

You might explain how these verses challenge us to acknowledge our own faults before criticizing others. Jesus uses vivid imagery to illustrate our tendency to ignore our personal issues. Perhaps emphasizing self-awareness can lead to personal growth and relational integrity. Recognizing our imperfections encourages a more honest and vulnerable community of believers.

4. Start with Self-Examination

Matthew 7:5

Maybe in this point, guide your audience through the process of self-examination and repentance as the first step in helping others. Jesus instructs that dealing with our shortcomings first allows us to genuinely support and restore others. Highlighting this transformation encourages believers to be ambassadors of reconciliation, mirroring Christ’s humility and compassion.