Relationships—Mom and Dad

As I mentioned last week, we’ll be talking about relationships. 

We already talked about our friendships and tonight I want to talk about the second most influential relationships in our lives. 

The first, I would argue, is our relationship with God. 

The second, does anyone have a guess? 

Our relationship with our parents. 

Parents can make our lives easier or maybe even harder. 

There’s so many stories in the Bible about parents and honestly I think the best parents in the Bible were probably Mary and Joseph (Jesus’ Parents). 

Worst parents in the Bible I think we have a few to pick from, probably the ones who sacrificed their children to demons like Manasseh and Ahaz. 

People in the Bible had weird parents too. 

Anybody here think their parents are a little weird. 

One of the wildest bible stories about parent child relationships to me is probably the one of Abraham and Isaac. 

Tell story 

It’s gotta be pretty hard to come back from, “Hey son, sorry I almost sacrificed ya to God.” 

Isaac probably never wanted to go anywhere with his dad again. 

Our relationships with are parents can be weird. It’s normal for them to be weird. 

Maybe some of you have no relationship with one or both of your parents. 

I know what that’s like and we’ll talk about that too. 

Now, open up your Bibles to Exodus 20 and we are going to read what is actually known as the 10 Commandments. 

Who knows how we ended up with the 10 Commandments? 

Right, God wrote them for Moses and the Israelites to separate them from all the other nations. 

So let’s read! 

SCRIPTURE 

And God spoke all these words, saying, 

2 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. 

3 “You shall have no other gods before me. 

4 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5 You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments. 

7 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain. 

8 “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. 11 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. 

12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. 

13 “You shall not murder. 

14 “You shall not commit adultery. 

15 “You shall not steal. 

16 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. 

17 “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.” 

18 Now when all the people saw the thunder and the flashes of lightning and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking, the people were afraid and trembled, and they stood far off  

19 and said to Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let God speak to us, lest we die.”  

20 Moses said to the people, “Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin.” 21 The people stood far off, while Moses drew near to the thick darkness where God was. 

These are the 10 Commandments. 

Here’s something interesting, the 10 commandments are all about relationships. 

The first are about our relationship with God, and the rest about our relationships with other people. 

Now I want to only draw our attention to one of these commandments and it is: 

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” 

God is very clear about what our relationship with our parents should look like. 

We are to honor them. 

Now, I have a very amazing mother, and despite how much she loves me and I her, we still have problems sometimes. 

I say that because I want to normalize that you can have good parents and still run into some bumps. 

My dad however, walked out on us when I was four. 

Here’s a hard pill to swallow: 

The Bible doesn’t say, “Honor your mother and father, but only if they stick around.” 

Honor your mother and father, but only if they let you go to KP with your friends. 

Honor your mother and father, but only if they buy you the right things for Christmas. 

Honor your mother and father, but only if they honor you. 

Only if they respect you. 

Only if they show you they love you. 

None of that. 

Only Honor your mother and your father it is clear. 

So what does that look like? 

Here are some basic things we can do to honor our parents regardless of how they have treated us: 

Forgive. 

Pray. 

Give thanks. 

God is really big on forgiveness.  

There’s a story Jesus tells us about a man who is endebted to a king with an unrepayable debt. 

Too big to pay back. 

He basically owes him all this money and the king one day forgives him his debt. 

But then this man leaves and starts going to the people that owe him and being really harsh to them. 

When the king learns of this, he is furious and punishes him for not showing the same mercy he had received. 

Mercy is when someone doesn’t get what they deserve. 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what your parents did is okay. 

It simply means that you can in your heart no longer punish that person for what they did to you. 

When God forgives us, he holds back his wrath. 

So you can hold back your internal wrath, and let go. 

But that’s hard. 

Maybe start by praying that God helps you forgive them. 

So that second point is PRAYER! 

Honor your parents by praying for them. 

And you can do this regardless of how terrible your parents are. 

Finally, we are to practice gratitude. 

If you have good parents thank them. 

If you have terrible parents, think deep about some way you can be grateful. 

I love looking at the story of Joseph as an example of how we can be grateful in circumstances where people hurt us. 

I’ll finish with that story. 

Joseph's dreams:  

Joseph had dreams that he would become a leader over his brothers and father.  

His brothers interpreted these dreams as evidence of his unfair privilege.  

Joseph is sold into slavery:  

Joseph's brothers sold him to an Ishmaelite caravan, who sold him to Potiphar, an Egyptian official.  

Joseph interprets dreams:  

Joseph interpreted dreams for prisoners and Pharaoh.  

Joseph becomes governor of Egypt:  

Joseph became governor of Egypt after interpreting Pharaoh's dream of seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine.  

Joseph forgives his brothers:  

Joseph forgave his brothers when they came to Egypt seeking help. 

WHAT YOU INTENDED FOR EVIL, GOD INTENDED FOR GOOD.