Dating & Marriage: Marriage

Announcements

NEXT STEPS - Welcome Home Party today

Here’s a big need - we need about 4 people to step up and help with the A/V. We’ve had deployments and PCS’s that have really reduced our team in half. It’s not a difficult position and its easy to learn, but it is a major part of the Sunday morning worship experience. If you’re willing to help and take on the challenge, please come see me after service - come to the Welcome Home Party and we’ll get you connected.

Winners of Single’s Drawing: Mariyah & Mariangela - will receive a packaged blessing mailed to your address, with a $50 value

Married folks drawing! 14 Day Marriage Challenge by Uncover Marriage with Anthony & Shannen Braswell - Special Discount from Anthony and Shannen - Use Discount Code REFUGE and you’ll receive $20 off.

- The 2nd and 14th couples will have their 14 Day Marriage Challenge covered by Refuge Aviano

Camp registration is open! If you register by March 1, you lock in the lower price. You only need $25 to register and you can make payments until two weeks before camp.

The Importance of Marriage to God

Marriage was the solution to the first problem- everything God created was good but when He saw Adam, He knew that it was not good for man to be alone.

Relational intimacy is important to God- He said Let us create man in our own image. He understood relational intimacy and wanted man to experience it as well.

Relational intimacy has always reflected God’s heart towards His creation - His people.

For us to be fully known and loved by God - and carry His heart, desires, and will in fulfillment as His creation.

When He created mankind - He walked and talked with them. He did the same with Enoch - so much so that Genesis 5:24 “24 Enoch walked with God; then he was not there because God took him.” Hebrews 11:5 “5 By faith Enoch was taken away, and so he did not experience death. He was not to be found because God took him away. For before he was taken away, he was approved as one who pleased God.”

God uses marriage as His example of sacrificial love in the book of Hosea

Hosea 3:1–3 CSB

1 Then the Lord said to me, “Go again; show love to a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, just as the Lord loves the Israelites though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes.”

He uses marriage and redemption TOGETHER to exemplify His love for His people

Revelation - Jesus coming back for His bride

Revelation 19:7 CSB

7 Let us be glad, rejoice, and give him glory, because the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his bride has prepared herself.

Revelation 22:17 CSB

17 Both the Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” Let anyone who hears, say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come. Let the one who desires take the water of life freely.

Reference the topic of Blood Covenant:

One of the things that’s very unique to biblical Jewish culture was the covenant of marriage through sexual relations.So one of the things that they would do is, if the bride was a virgin than she was a woman of virtue and righteousness because she kept herself pure until her marriage bed. So what the newlyweds would conjugate their marriage, they would keep the bedsheets and there should have been blood on the bedsheets that signified that she was a virgin. if anyone would ever come and tell the dad or the husband that they knew that she had been sleeping around with others before she got married, they would take the bedsheets and show the blood on the bedsheets to prove that the covenant of marriage had happened and that because there was blood, she was a virgin who was pure, virtuous and righteous before she got married. This process is a reflection of what we see Christ has done for us. He refers to the church as his bride, and like we read in Hosea, we were a people who prostituted ourselves to other gods. Jesus made the sacrificial covenant at the Cross by shedding his blood for you and I. When he shed his blood, he was able to show the father His bloodshed and say I was pure. I was without sin and I have upheld righteousness until the very end. So because you are a believer in Jesus Christ, as your Lord and Savior and the enemy who is the accuser of the brethren comes and says God, did you see Angie, she’s a sinner and he goes through the list of all of my wrongdoings, but God, the father can take the blood of Jesus and say can show Satan the blood of Jesus and say her belief in Jesus Christ has made her pure and I don’t see her sin. I see the blood of my son who is pure and righteous, and has redeemed her as his own. She has entered into covenant with Jesus by the confession of her mouth.

Romans 10:9–10 says “9 If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 One believes with the heart, resulting in righteousness, and one confesses with the mouth, resulting in salvation.”

This confession is how I testify that Jesus is my Lord and Savior. This is how I overcome, through the blood of the Lamb, (which He did at the cross) and the word of my testimony. My confession of faith.

Importance of Engagement

A time of preparation - heart, mind, soul, and strength

Exclusivity/devotion

Where the the commitment between a betrothed husband and wife is totally exclusive, and they each choose not to pursue or entertain another

Preparation in provision - ‘basic abilities to provide food & shelter and safety’

John 14:3 “3 If I go away and prepare a place for you, I will come again and take you to myself, so that where I am you may be also.”

The time of engagement in Biblical Jewish tradition was where the husband literally prepared a place to live and begin unity

Maturing (Knowledge & Understanding)

The overwhelming benefit of pre-marital counseling

No one is born knowing how to be married; where two individuals can live and function as one

In most cases, the dynamics of marriage will shift over time

Comfortability, familiarity, and reality

Realities like when a man marries his wife and assumes that she’ll stay the same forever - when in reality, she will change a lot and often (and that’s just her mind we’re talking about)

Realities like when a woman marries her husband and assumes that he’ll constantly improve in life and will become this dreamy perfect man in every season she’s in; and he stays exactly the same

Accountability (Pre-Marital Counseling)

Seeking out godly counsel - because the parameters are going to change

Life happens, things change; new opportunities and experiences are unlocked along life’s way

Ladies, have seasoned, godly women that you can seek advise from and counsel on how to approach situations

Fellas, have seasoned, godly men that you can seek advise from and counsel on how not to do the same mistakes over and over again

What Marriage Is - when things go right!

Corresponding Helpmate

Genesis 2:18 CSB

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.”

“Corresponding” - Hebrew ‘neged’

Lexham Research Lexicon of the Hebrew Bible נֶ֫גֶד

נֶ֫גֶד (neged), N. that which is opposite, that which corresponds; in front of, before; opposite to;

contrary, against; on the other side; apart; abreast.

Helper - Hebrew ‘ʿēzer’

Lexham Research Lexicon of the Hebrew Bible עֵ֫זֶר 1

עֵ֫זֶר 1 (ʿēzer 1), N. help, assistance. Greek equiv. fr. LXX: βοηθός (8), βοήθεια (6), ἰσχύς (1).

Noun Usage

1. helper — a person who contributes to the fulfillment of a need or furtherance of an effort or purpose. See also עֵ֫זֶר 3, עֶזְרָה 1

God provided a helpmate to Adam at a very personal and intimate level.

God made Eve to be the solution to man’s first problem

Within her was creation into relationship

Adam found satisfaction in the LORD and in function - in doing

but there was no “kind” like Adam, he was alone

She born into complementing Adam within the work God gave mankind to do

She was created with a position. A position to compliment Adam, and to steward the garden work together and reflect God’s plan for relational intimacy to the next generation. But temptation came in and sin came, and she lost focus and took her position of stewardship and it all turned into a possession to steward. She wanted to be like God and moved from a position of steward in the garden, to possessing “likeness with God.” She went from a position of stewarding a relationship with Adam to wanting to possess or control him. God told her “Your desire will be for your husband…” He meant, your desire is for your husbands position and because we desire after our husbands position, we get controlling and possessive instead of upholding a position of stewarding the feminine heart of the household.

Genesis 2:22 CSB

22 Then the Lord God made the rib he had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man.

We see how God was in the process of relationship creation between man and woman - God brought Eve alongside what Adam was doing.

Later in Genesis 6, we see a sin issue in that wives were taken in a self-gratifying nature, not in God’s design of bring relationship together in purpose and intimacy.

This hurt the heart of God - to the point where He regretted creating man, limited man’s time on earth and moved forward to annihilate mankind - and all of creation.

But let’s look at what Adam said when God brought him Eve

Genesis 2:23–25 CSB

23 And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called “woman,” for she was taken from man. 24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.

THIS ONE - FINALLY - she’s made for me. She is my compliment and I am her’s.

GEN Z Bible says it this way:

Adam was like, 'Yo, this girl is straight-up a part of me. She's made from my own bones and flesh, so let's call her Woman, 'cause she came from Man.' (In Hebrew, Woman is Isha, and Man is Ish.)

So basically, when a dude grows up, he's gonna bounce from his parents and hang tight with his wifey. And let me tell you, they gonna be super connected, like they a single unit.

So like, the man and his wife were totally without clothes, and they were cool with it, no shame or anything."}

Relationship in Marriage

Is not just sex and procreation

It is joy, laughter, struggles, hurts, celebrations, creativity, wisdom and understanding

And, yes, a deep intimate connection reinforcing all of that through sexual intimacy.

It brings unity and oneness, where this level of unity and oneness represents the heart and nature of God.

The Oneness of a triune God - we’re in no way talking about sexual human type of intimacy, but it reflect the true definition of romance – not the humanistic, sexual definition often associated with romance – but the true definition of romance

Where there is an excitement of mystery in created from love.  Again, it is the pursuit of knowing and being known.

God is love - and His love is creative - it created us. So the love we have in marriage is a product of God’s creation, and is reflective of His nature.

COMMUNICATION is KEY

The ability to state exactly what’s on our heart in a vulnerable, non-passive aggressive way:

Her - “Hey are we going out on a date tonight? Him - “I guess, if that’s what you want to do?” Her - “Oh so you don’t want to?” Him - “That’s not what I said” Her - “I can’t believe you, why don’t you love me!” She shuts the door, he goes back to his video game, nothing’s resolved.

Instead:

Her - “Hey, can we go out on a date tonight please?” Him - *he now knows what she needs and how to confidently respond.

STUDY EACH OTHER

Know what each other like and don’t like

Know each other’s preferences

Know each other

Tools: 5 Love Languages

Tools: Love and Respect

Tools: Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage

MINISTER TO EACH ANOTHER

Marriage is difficult - but the reason marriage is hard is because people think its about happiness

Marriage is not about happiness, it’s about holiness

We enter in to marriage looking for perfect love - but marriage is what God uses to perfect your love

It’s not about finding the right person - its about becoming the right person.

Its not about your needs being served, it’s about serving

Ephesians 5:21–32 “21 submitting to one another in the fear of Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of his body. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.”

isn’t just about roles, it’s about reflection. are you submitting one to another? are you reflecting what Christ and the church looks like?

Its not just a relationship - its a ministry.

Prayer of Blessing

May your marriage always bring glory to God, joy to one another and blessings to your family for many generations to come. May love and laughter fill your hearts and your home for all at the days of your lives. May you face every challenge hand-in-hand and side-by-side knowing that with God's grace, you'll conquer all obstacles together. May the world be forever a better place because the two of you intentionally love.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, New International Version

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. - Husband, Wife, & Christ

Proverbs 3:3-6, New International Version

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your necks, write them on the tablet of your hearts.

Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to God, and He will make your paths straight.

1 Thessalonians 3:12-13

May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else… May He strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones.

Plead the blood of Jesus over your marriage.

Make Him the priority of your family’s lives.

See to it that you encourage your spouse in their own faith walk.

Be the sounding board, the support system, the shoulder to lean on when your spouse needs it.

In Jesus’s Name we pray.

Amen.