All Sons and Daughters
Family Matters • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Part 2 of Family Matters
Part 2 of Family Matters
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—
3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Last week we spent time looking at both the husband and the wife within the structure that is being laid out here.
Just like a body Paul is laying out the levels of authority but also responsibility. With the head of the house being the husband who is responsible for the wellbeing of all below him.
Next to the wife who is responsible to the husband and over the child. Now we are at the child who is responsible to the honor of both mother and father and it goes back full circle back to the fathers.
So with that said Dads do not underestimate the impact that you have on your family.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition 3. Between Children and Parents 6:1–4
The Greek word for obey, hupakouete, is used by Paul to describe what a child’s response to parents should be. It is a compound word which literally means “to come under hearing or under one’s voice.” It paints a picture of a person submitting to a voice of authority. Since teaching is central in Paul’s mind in this section, his lesson of submission is for the child to listen willingly to what the parents have to say. The command echoes the Proverb writer who instructs his “son” to keep his commands and not forsake his mother’s teachings
Paul could easily just stop there with nothing more to say for the children. But he had to go on and list the promise from the 5th commandment.
2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—
3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Though Paul was writing to a group that had the foundation of
1 Christians
2 Nuclear family. that is a husband, wife, and children.
3 Active followers of the way… of Jesus.
τιμάω (T-mauo) Means to honor, to respect, to hold of value.
This word was used only 21 times in the new testament.
How do we honor our parents?
well if you are still a child we can do it by listening and obeying them when they tell us to do something.
now if they say go rob a bank or go steal that for me then obviously we need to tell them that we love them but respectfully… NO.
By not talking back or giving them sass
By not talking junk behind their backs
By talking good about them
But one may ask how to honor an abusive or absent parent
this gets hard and my heart breaks for you if you have ever been in this situation.
First we must pray for them
We must forgive them, not because they deserve it but because we are commanded to forgive others, and because it will eat us alive and make us bitter.
We distance ourselves as needed so that resentment does not grow.
Honoring our parents does not mean that we have to like our parents.
As a teen I was dealing with some issues and I went to my childhood pastor who gave some solid advice
“Cameron you don’t have to like the man but you do have to respect the stripes”
If you're struggling with hurt feelings toward your parents, try to forgive them, extend mercy, and appreciate the good things they've done.
No parent was ever perfect, though some did try harder than others, we cannot allow what our parents did or did not do dictate how we live our lives.
Parents this topic falls back on us again though, we must life lives the are honorable which makes it a lot easier for our children to honor our role. This includes proper and wise correction of a child.
The Wesleyan Bible Commentary, Volume 5: Romans–Philemon 3. The Christian Relationship of Children to Their Parents (6:1–4)
If children do not learn to
One thing drilled into my head as a child and even into my own children's heads by my granddaddy was the importance of listening.
He would say “son there may come a day when your ability to listen and follow instruction will be the difference between life and death.”
for example, a car hits a power pole and the line falls on the car, as long as the occupants remain inside of the car they are relativity safe. A first responder gets there and tells them to remain in the car and do not open the door until told to do so. if they listen they will be safe from electrocution if they do not, they may die.
I am inclined to believe this is part of why God gave that promise of a long life.
4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Some translations like to use the word provoke to anger and we see this also in Colossians 3:21 which again tells us
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
There is a fine line between correcting a child and beating the spirit out of them.
When we as parents beat the spirit out of a child be it physically, mentally, or emotionally it has lasting impacts on their lives.
Here is what it can look like
1: A lack of self worth.
2: The inability to make a choice or stand up for themselves.
3: A lack of backbone, easily pushed over
4: A significantly higher chance of being involved in abusive relationships.
We must learn how to give both correction and nurturing to our children.
It is the serious obligation—and opportunity—of parents (Gk patër; plural, pateres, can mean “fathers” or “father and mother”) to give their children the instruction and correction that are a necessary part of a Christian upbringing.
Parents should be examples of Christian life and conduct, caring more for their children’s spiritual salvation and development than for their own jobs, professions, ministry in the church or social status (cf. Ps 127:3). it is the parents’ responsibility to raise their children in a way that prepares them to fulfill God’s purposes for their lives.
It is the family, not the church, school, or any other institution, that is primarily responsible for the training. This is especially true in the Biblical and spiritual training of the children. Church, and even church schools, only assist parental training.
J. Wesley Adams and Donald C. Stamps, Fire Bible (Springfield, MO: Life Publishers International, 2011), Col 3:25.
The core of Christian parental care is this: The heart of the earthly father (or parent) must be attuned to and responsive to the child’s heart, in order to teach that child to turn toward and respond to the heart of their Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ the Savior
J. Wesley Adams and Donald C. Stamps, Fire Bible (Springfield, MO: Life Publishers International, 2011)
3 Look, children are a gift of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 As arrows in the hand of a mighty warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.
5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; he shall not be ashamed when he speaks with the enemies at the gate.
Children are a gift from the Lord, they are easily molded, pliable, and impressionable. We must be tender in how we bring them up, yet stern where it is necessary. It is up to us as parents and grandparents to sculpt the next generation into to well grounded adults that seek after the kingdom.
Children it is your responsibility to learn what you can from your parents be it what you should do, or at times what you should not do.
My grandaddy has always said “I am willing to make mistakes if you are willing to learn from them.”
5 Everyone makes mistakes in business and in personal life. Fathers are allowed room to make mistakes without failing their children. If your mistakes are understood in the context of love, they can be used as lessons your children can grow from.
Connie Neal
Your Thirty-Day Journey to Being a World-Class Father (1992)
Connie Neal
The difference between the wise person and the fool is that the former learns from mistakes and the latter simply refuses to change behavior.
Tremper Longman III
Take Home Thoughts
Children give it all you have to be good listeners
Parents seek the face of God in all things and you will lead your children well.
