Praying For Your Children

Imagine with me if you will walking in on one of your parents, and without having barged in like so often children do, you begin to open the door slightly… you hear your parent talking to nobody particular int he room, and then you notice your parent is praying… and the person they are praying for is you.

Oh how good this would have been to hear this…

you probably wouldn’t understand the gravity of such a situation at the time. But as you grew older, this was a moment that you looked back on and knew that your parents interceded on your behalf.

What a powerful moment.

“if God gives you children., He calls you to intercede for them.” Plains and simple.

One of the highest privileges we have is interceding for our children. The more I realize my powerlessness in discipleship the more I will spend time in prayer.

Here we will look at a few biblical principles.

Disciple-Making Parents pray for their children.

Spiritual Leaders Pray

This is what effective Spiritual leaders do… they pray.

JESUS: The Most masculine man there is… the model for all men, prayed for His disciples and taught them to pray.

All throughout Paul’s letters, you see him writing about praying for his spiritual children.

David, Job, Moses, were OT saints who spent a lot of time in prayer.

The Prophet Samuel:

1 Samuel 12:23 ESV

23 Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way.

Hannah (1 Samuel 1:9-20):Hannah, a barren woman, prayed fervently for a son, promising to dedicate him to God's service if granted. Her persistent prayer and unwavering faith led to the birth of Samuel, who became a prophet and a key figure in Israel's history. 

Esther (Book of Esther):Esther, a Jewish queen in a foreign land, faced a dire situation when her people were threatened with genocide. She prayed and fasted, then courageously approached the king, pleading for the lives of her people, demonstrating the power of prayer in times of crisis. 

Mary, Mother of God (Luke 1:46-55):Mary's "Magnificat" is a powerful prayer of praise and thanksgiving, expressing her humility and recognition of God's greatness. 

Spiritual leadership is us as parents being in this pursuit of moving our children in the direction toward God… prayer is the foundation of this pursuit.

John Bunyan said, “You can do more than pray after you have prayed. But you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed. “

Prayer Changes Us

“Consistent prayer helps a parent stay focused on this life long process of family discipleship.

Prayer can change the hearts of our children.

It took me seventeen years to realize I couldn’t parent on my own. It was not a great spiritual insight, just a realistic observation. If I didn’t pray deliberately and reflectively for members of my family by name every morning, they’d kill each other. I was incapable of getting inside their hearts. I was desperate. But even more, I couldn’t change my self-confident heart. It didn’t take me long to realize I did my best parenting by prayer. I began to speak less to the kids and more to God. It was actually quite relaxing.

Might we also do our best in parenting by prayer?

We are talking about here DIFFERENT WAYS we can intercede for our children, not a list of ways you SHOULD be praying.

Let this be a lesson in which you are given a nudge in a few different directions to be interceding on the behalf of your children.

How Can I Pray?

We can pray in secret.

Matthew 6:6 ESV

6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Luke 5:15–16 ESV

15 But now even more the report about him went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. 16 But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.

We can cry out.

Crying out to the Lord is a deeper interaction to the Lord.

It is us understanding and knowing that we are in this battle for our children’s souls.

We do not just ask, we cry out.

We can cry out with fasting.

Fasting intensifies our prayers. It turbocharges them, reminding us that showing God this prayer is deeply on our hearts.

We can pray together as husband and wife.

Praying together builds intimacy.

In us and our spouse being one flesh, it is only natural for us to be praying for our children together.

Pray together before big occasions,

in stressful times,

in normal times,

nightly.

Men… lead in this. Pray with your wife. Pick a time, ask your wife to remind you if necessary…

it’s never too late to get this started.

We can pray with other parents.

We need the accountability and encouragement that comes with praying with other parents.

With this comes a support that you can get nowhere else. It is your brothers and sisters in Christ that God has placed around you, whom you can go to in times when prayer is needed for this walk in discipling our children.

We can pray together with our children.

I wonder how much our children will learn from us when we pray with them. They will learn about us as parents, about the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and they will hear and learn the yearning we have for their souls.

John 17:15–19 ESV

15 I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 17 Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. 19 And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.

What Should I pray?

Once we answer the question of how, we come to the question of, “What should I pray?”

***Not an exhaustive list, but what are some wise request?

Pray with thanksgiving in secret and in public.

1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 ESV

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Pray for yourself.

One of the ultimate ways our children will come to know our Lord Jesus is that if they see an embodiment of the Gospel being lived out in me. And so, in my prayers, I better be asking God to begin with my heart, my sin, my repentance, my actions.

Our children need to see us becoming more like Jesus.

Pray for the Lord to show me my sin.

In this… we must be at all times asking for God to reveal the sin in me. For Him to reveal the deepest darkest places in our lives that we may not even know are there.

This prayer reminds us that parenting is first about our holiness.

Pray for the Lord to give us wisdom and guidance int the decisions we face.

We will face many decisions in which there is no real right or wrong answer. We will be like James…

James 1:5 ESV

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

I personally can tend to be a person that when trouble comes… I have the tendency to forge on ahead on my own without stopping and considering to go to God.

We must remember that this should be the first stop in diagnosing a situation.

Pray as they face future challenges.

Perhaps…

Family crisis,

church crisis,

health crisis,

friend crisis,

Luke 22:31–32 ESV

31 “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, 32 but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

This was both a warning of what was to come but also an assurance of His love.

Pray for hidden things in our child’s life to be brought to light.

This is a scary prayer.

But what better time to shepherd our children and show them how to walk through a sin that has come to light?

Ephesians 5:11–14 ESV

11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. 13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14 for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

Take delight in shepherding our children through sin. The sin coming to light is giving way to opportunity for sanctification in the child’s life.

For sin to be cut off and for righteousness to be added instead.

Pray Jesus’ high priestly prayer.

On that final night with His disciples, Jesus prayed three main things…

He prayed that the Father would protect them from the evil one, (“Keep them” in v. 11,15. =observe, guard, watch over)

sanctify them by the truth (v. 17) (“your Word is Truth”)

unify them (that they may be one)

Pray as they ask you to pray.

I love to ask them, who would you like to pray for.

Pray both long-term and short-term prayers.

Long-term can be a list of 10-15 things you pray for each day.

Short-term: Progress you would like to see in them this month? What might they being going through at the time?

Pray without ceasing.

Let prayer be interwoven in our daily lives. Let it become so second nature where you will just be in random conversations with God, when you wake up, in the car, at work, in the shower.

Never dismiss an inner prompt to pray.

Praying in the Spirit

There are also times in which we do not know how to particularly pray for our children and some other circumstance in our lives. There are times in which there are no words for us that we can use.

Paul brings this up in Rom. 8:26 & Eph. 6:18

Romans 8:26 ESV

26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Ephesians 6:18 ESV

18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

The Holy Spirit invites us to intercede with Him. In these times He will help us in speaking with the Father.

A Method

Over the years I have had a number of different methods that worked for a season.

My current plan is to take multiple 5x8 pieces of paper and staple five or six pages together.

Different pages prompt me to pray for my family, ministries God has put on my heart, and numerous short-term ministry projects,

Under each child, I try to think about things like

their character,

their spiritual life,

and their social life.

In addition, we pray regularly for their future spouses and families if God blesses this way), and for future callings of job and ministry. I have tried to include long-term prayers as well as immediate needs that I can see answered. My wife prefers to journal her prayers and rarely works from a list. The best prayer method is the one you use.

Conclusion

Let us take on the same attitude of the persistent Widow.

Luke 18:1–5 ESV

1 And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. 2 He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. 3 And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ 4 For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’ ”

Might God give us opportunity to deepen our prayer lives.

If you are sure it is a right thing for which you are asking, plead now! Plead at noon! Plead at night! Plead on-with cries and tears spread out your case. Put your arguments in order! Back up your pleas with reasons! Urge the precious blood of Jesus!

Set the wounds of Christ before the Father’s eyes! Bring out the atoning sacrifice-point to Calvary—enlist the crowned Prince, the Priest who stands at the right hand of God! And resolve in your very soul that if Zion does not flourish, if souls be not saved, if your family be not blessed, if your own zeal be not revived, yet you will die with the pleas upon your lips and the importunate wish upon your spirits! (emphasis mine) - Spurgeon

Disciple-Making Parents pray for their children.

FOR THOUGHT, DISCUSSION, AND ACTION

What long-term prayers are you praying for your children? What short-term prayers?

Which specific prayer request stood out to you and why?

What method do you use to pray for your children?