David & The Women

Recap:

Week 1 - We talked about conflict with David and King Saul.

Week 2 - Pastor Melissa addressed accountability and mentorship between David and Nathan.

Last week - Pastor Tim talked about vulnerability and the importance of David’s relationship with God.

Today’s final message in the series on David’s Relationships, we will be addressing King David and women. More importantly addressing the stories of four different women…

Introduction:

King David, Israel’s greatest king, was known for his deep faith and mighty leadership, yet his relationships with women reveal both his strengths and failures. His love for 

Michal - was tested by political ambition and personal pride.

His sin with Bathsheba exposed the dangers of unchecked power and moral compromise. 

Abigail displayed wisdom in conflict, influencing David’s decisions for the better. 

Tamar’s tragic story highlights the consequences of David’s failures as a father and leader in addressing injustice. Through these relationships, we see the impact of honor, wisdom, and justice in leadership—ultimately pointing to Christ, the true King who restores dignity and leads with compassion.

Prayer

Where are we going today? Central Idea - Our relationships reveal our character - honor, wisdom, and justice matter to God. Therefore they need to matter to us as apprentices of Jesus.

How does this sermon point to Christ? In exploring the lives of women in David's narrative, we see a foreshadowing of Christ's approach to the marginalized and the brokenhearted. Jesus embodies the perfect leader who values the dignity of every person, offering healing and hope that transcends earthly failures and relationships.

1. Michal’s Story

Background on Michal:

Michal loved David, but her father, Saul, used her as a pawn to trap him.

When Saul’s plan failed, he married them—only to later tear them apart.

Saul tried killing David but,

Michal helped David escape, but she was left behind and given to another man.

Years later, David reclaimed Michal—not for love, but for political gain.

Ripped from her second husband, she returned to David, but bitterness consumed her.

When David danced before the Lord, Michal despised him, and their relationship ended in cold rejection.

The Bible closes her story with a tragic note: she had no children until her death.

1 Samuel 18:20–21 NLT

In the meantime, Saul’s daughter Michal had fallen in love with David, and Saul was delighted when he heard about it. “Here’s another chance to see him killed by the Philistines!” Saul said to himself. But to David he said, “Today you have a second chance to become my son-in-law!”

A. Michal’s Love and Sacrifice

She loved David and helped him escape from Saul’s wrath.

1 Samuel 19:11–12 NLT

Then Saul sent troops to watch David’s house. They were told to kill David when he came out the next morning. But Michal, David’s wife, warned him, “If you don’t escape tonight, you will be dead by morning.” So she helped him climb out through a window, and he fled and escaped.

Her marriage was used as a political tool, taken from her and later restored

1 Samuel 25:44 NLT

Saul, meanwhile, had given his daughter Michal, David’s wife, to a man from Gallim named Palti son of Laish.

2 Samuel 3:13–16 NLT

“All right,” David replied, “but I will not negotiate with you unless you bring back my wife Michal, Saul’s daughter, when you come.” David then sent this message to Ishbosheth, Saul’s son: “Give me back my wife Michal, for I bought her with the lives of 100 Philistines.” So Ishbosheth took Michal away from her husband, Palti son of Laish. Palti followed along behind her as far as Bahurim, weeping as he went. Then Abner told him, “Go back home!” So Palti returned.

Women had very little rights in antiquity.

Hebrew women were treated better than women from surrounding countries.

However, we see the arc of redemption unfolding as we look back on these texts.

B. The Breakdown of Relationship

By the time David returned as king, their relationship had soured.

Michal’s marriage was used a tool for political gain - showing that he had conquered the house of Saul.

2 Samuel 6:16 NLT

But as the Ark of the Lord entered the City of David, Michal, the daughter of Saul, looked down from her window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she was filled with contempt for him.

Her criticism of David’s worship showed her heart had grown distant.

C. What can we learn? – Love Without Honor Can Lead to Bitterness

Relationships require mutual respect and communication to thrive.

When we focus on appearances and positions rather than true devotion, relationships suffer.

Pointing to Christ: Jesus’ love for the church is self-sacrificial, not self-seeking.

Ephesians 5:21–22 NLT

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:25 NLT

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her…

Key thought: Love without mutual respect and understanding can lead to resentment and division.

2. Bathsheba’s Story

Background on Bathsheba:

Bathsheba was married to Uriah, a top-ranking warrior in David’s army.

Uriah’s home near the palace suggests he may have served in David’s guard.

The Bible gives little about her early life, but one thing stands out—her extraordinary beauty.

Her beauty was not just pleasant; it was deeply alluring, stirring desire in those who saw her.

The Hebrew text has two words that are typically used to describe personal appearance. One, yapeh, is rather mild and means, “good looking.” The other, tob, when applied to women’s looks, conveys sensual appeal. This woman is so beautiful that she arouses the desire of men who see her. Bathsheba was “very beautiful” in this second sense, and it was her beauty that would betray her.

This beauty would play a tragic role in her story.

One night, while Uriah was away at war, David saw Bathsheba bathing and was overcome with desire.

He summoned her, slept with her, and sent her home—but she became pregnant.

To cover his sin, David called Uriah back, hoping he’d sleep with his wife.

Uriah refused, staying loyal to his fellow soldiers, so David arranged his death in battle.

After Uriah’s death, David took Bathsheba as his wife, but their union was stained with sin and sorrow.

2 Samuel 11:1–5 NLT

In the spring of the year, when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites. They destroyed the Ammonite army and laid siege to the city of Rabbah. However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem. Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace. As he looked out over the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath. He sent someone to find out who she was, and he was told, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” Then David sent messengers to get her; and when she came to the palace, he slept with her. She had just completed the purification rites after having her menstrual period. Then she returned home. Later, when Bathsheba discovered that she was pregnant, she sent David a message, saying, “I’m pregnant.”

Bathsheba’s innocence. Several details in the biblical account that tell how David saw and took Bathsheba make it clear that Bathsheba was an innocent victim.

“It happened in the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle” (2 Sam. 11:1). David should have been leading his troops, but instead he stayed in Jerusalem.

“Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed” (v. 2). Bathsheba was bathing at night, when she might have expected others were sleeping.

“And from the roof he saw a woman bathing” (v. 2). Bathsheba was bathing in the courtyard of her own house, where she could expect privacy.

“He saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold” (v. 2). David could have turned away and respected Bathsheba’s privacy. But he reacted in a different way indeed!

“So David sent and inquired about the woman” (v. 3). David took the initiative to find out about the woman he had seen. What David learned was that her name was Bathsheba, and she was married to Uriah the Hitite.

“Then David sent messengers, and took her” (v. 4). Bathsheba was a woman alone, with her husband away at war. David was the king. When David’s men came to fetch her, she was unable to refuse.

“She came to him, and he lay with her” (v. 4). Again David is cast as the actor, Bathsheba as the one acted upon. In saying “he lay with her” the inspired author makes it clear that the initiative came from David. What took place was in essence rape.

The text of Scripture makes it clear that we must view Bathsheba as a victim of David’s lust, not the seductress which she is sometimes portrayed to be. The Scripture’s portrait is clearly more in keeping with the reality of the power of ancient kings and the relative powerlessness of women of the royal court.

A. David’s Abuse of Power

Most people who have a view from the Western society will likely misread these scriptures. First, we’ll assume a measure of privacy didn’t exist in the ancient world. David’s adultery with Bathsheba was not a private affair. He asked a servant to inquire who the woman was. As soon as the king sent a servant to inquire who the woman was, everyone in the place would be talking. Then he sent messengers (plural) to bring her to the palace. The entire palace would know that David sent for the wife of Uriah.

Also, the author of 2 Samuel wants us to know that the conflict is between David and Uriah. The story quits referring to her as “Bathsheba” and switches to “the wife of Uriah.”

Bathsheba is often portrayed passively, but the real issue is David’s failure as a leader.

The prophet Nathan confronted David’s sin (2 Sam. 12:1-15). Not Bathsheba’s sin.

B. The Ripple Effect of Sin

Bathsheba suffered loss—her husband was killed, and her child died.

David’s family fell into disarray 2 Sam. 13–15

C. What can we learn? – How We Treat Others Matters

Power must be wielded for justice, not personal gain.

Violence and abuse are normalized

Anyone who has ever visited a popular porn site knows the majority of the scenarios involve women being used, dominated, and taken advantage of. A few years ago, a team of researchers looked at 50 of the most popular porn films—the ones purchased and rented most often. Of the 304 scenes the movies contained, 88% contained physical violence and 49% contained verbal aggression. On average, only one scene in 10 didn’t contain any aggression, and the typical scene averaged 12 physical or verbal attacks.

We must examine our influence in relationships—do we honor or exploit?

Connection to Christ: Jesus defended the vulnerable and restored dignity to those who had been shamed.

John 8:1-11 Woman Caught in Adultery.

Key thought: Unchecked power leads to devastating consequences, but God’s grace can redeem even the worst situations.

3. Abigail's Story

Background on Abigail:

Abigail was married to Nabal, a wealthy but foolish rancher.

David and his men had camped near Nabal’s land, protecting his flocks instead of raiding them.

When David asked for fair compensation, Nabal insulted him and refused.

Enraged, David set out to destroy Nabal and his entire household.

Abigail, warned by the herdsmen, acted quickly—gathering provisions and rushing to intercept David.

1 Samuel 25:14–17 NLT

Meanwhile, one of Nabal’s servants went to Abigail and told her, “David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, but he screamed insults at them. These men have been very good to us, and we never suffered any harm from them. Nothing was stolen from us the whole time they were with us. In fact, day and night they were like a wall of protection to us and the sheep. You need to know this and figure out what to do, for there is going to be trouble for our master and his whole family. He’s so ill-tempered that no one can even talk to him!”

A. Abigail’s Wisdom

She recognized the danger of her husband Nabal’s foolishness.

She intervened, appealing to David’s higher calling.

David praised her wisdom, showing the impact of a godly voice in conflict.

1 Samuel 25:32–33 NLT

David replied to Abigail, “Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you to meet me today! Thank God for your good sense! Bless you for keeping me from murder and from carrying out vengeance with my own hands.

B. The Power of Peacemaking

Abigail could have remained silent, but she chose to act.

True wisdom is not passive but proactive.

C. What can we learn?– Be a Voice of Reason and Wisdom

How do we handle conflict in relationships?

Peacemakers are blessed (Matt. 5:9), and we are called to respond with grace and discernment.

Connection to Christ: Jesus is the ultimate mediator, stepping in to bring reconciliation 2 Cor. 5:18-19

2 Corinthians 5:18–19 NLT

And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.

Key Thought: Godly wisdom can diffuse tension and lead to peace.

4. Tamar's Story

Background on Tamar:

Tamar, David’s daughter, was beautiful—and tragically desired by her half-brother Amnon.

Amnon, driven by lust, tricked Tamar, and when she resisted, he raped her.

Heartbroken, Tamar sought refuge with her brother Absalom, who told her to stay silent.

She lived in desolation, but her suffering set off a chain of vengeance.

Absalom, enraged by Amnon’s crime and David’s inaction, later killed Amnon.

This act of revenge led to Absalom’s exile, his rebellion against David, and a civil war that tore the kingdom apart.

2 Samuel 13:1–15 NLT

Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her. Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought he could never have her. But Amnon had a very crafty friend—his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David’s brother Shimea. One day Jonadab said to Amnon, “What’s the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?” So Amnon told him, “I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” “Well,” Jonadab said, “I’ll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you’ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands.” So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him, Amnon asked him, “Please let my sister Tamar come and cook my favorite dish as I watch. Then I can eat it from her own hands.” So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon’s house to prepare some food for him. When Tamar arrived at Amnon’s house, she went to the place where he was lying down so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked his favorite dish for him. But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. “Everyone get out of here,” Amnon told his servants. So they all left. Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.” So Tamar took his favorite dish to him. But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.” “No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.” But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her.

A. Tamar’s Story – The Cry for Justice

Amnon’s selfish sin destroyed Tamar’s future.

David’s silence was complicit in her suffering.

2 Samuel 13:21 NLT

When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry.

New Living Translation

Dead Sea Scrolls and Greek version add

B. The Long-Term Effects of Injustice

Absalom sought revenge, leading to further bloodshed.

Unchecked sin destroys families and communities.

C. What can we learn? – A Call to Stand with the Vulnerable

The church must not be silent about abuse, injustice, and suffering.

Healing comes through compassion, justice, and Christ’s redemption.

Connection to Christ: Jesus healed the brokenhearted and restored dignity to the marginalized:

Luke 4:18 NLT

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free…”

Key thought: Betrayal and injustice leave deep wounds, but God calls us to stand with the broken and seek justice.

What We Learn from David’s Relationships

A. Reflect on the Impact of Our Choices

Michal: Love must be rooted in honor to endure.

Bathsheba: Power must be used for good, not personal gain.

Abigail: Wisdom and courage can change the course of events.

Tamar: Injustice demands a response—God calls us to defend the vulnerable.

B. Christ as the True King Who Honors, Loves, and Redeems

Where David failed, Jesus succeeded.

Jesus dignifies the weak, the wounded, and the outcast.

He invites us into relationships marked by grace, justice, and honor.

C. Spiritual Next Step – How Will We Engage in Relationships?

Self-examination: How do we treat others?

Prayer for healing: Those wounded by injustice or broken relationships.

Commitment to Christ-like love: Honoring, serving, and lifting others up.

Closing Prayer