Living in Love: Mark of True Disciples

Introduction

Imagine a house being built. Every part—foundation, walls, roof—serves a purpose. The foundation determines the strength of everything built on top of it. If the foundation is weak, the house will crumble.

The Bible itself uses this concept as an illustration when it says the church is built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets with Jesus himself being the main or chief cornerstone (Ephesians 2:20). In this sermon series we have explored different aspects of godly relationships we began with

The Foundation - We are created in the Imago Dei, meaning that our value and identity come from God.

The Structure - Some are called to singleness, not as a secondary option, but as a way to live fully for God.

In many Christian circles, there’s an unspoken (or sometimes spoken) assumption that marriage is the highest calling for believers. This can manifest in ways like:

Singleness being seen as “less than” or as a temporary waiting room for marriage.

People feeling incomplete without a spouse, rather than recognizing their completeness in Christ (Colossians 2:10).

Placing unrealistic expectations on marriage, expecting a spouse to provide ultimate joy, security, or purpose—things that only God can provide.

The Danger: When marriage is over-elevated, it shifts from being a God-ordained covenant for His glory to an idol that defines a person’s worth, purpose, and identity. This can lead to discontentment, unhealthy relationships, or even an improper theology of love and commitment

The Mystery - Marriage is not just a social contract but a divine illustration of Christ and the Church.

Now, as we come to the final message of our series - we step back and look at the entire building. Notice what is the one thing that holds all relationships together. How do we know if our relationships (marriage, singleness, or friendships) are truly pleasing to God? The key to all of this is God’s love. And I am not talking about the mushy stuff romantic comedies are built on.

🔹 Every relationship we have—whether with a spouse, a friend, or as a single person in the body of Christ—is a reflection of how well we understand and display God’s love.

🔹 If we truly know God, we will love as He loves. If we struggle in our relationships, it reveals something about our relationship with God.

Here is my premise (write it down because this will rub contrary to popular beliefs):

Godly relationships are not built on personal preferences, emotions, or compatibility, but on God’s sacrificial love, which shapes how we live, love, and serve in marriage, singleness, and community.

As we wrap-up this series, we will take a close look at 1 John 4:7-12. And explore how God’s love defines and strengthens all relationships so that our lives reflect His glory, not our own desires.

1. Love's Divine Source (vv. 7-8)

2. Love's Sacrificial Example (vv. 9-10)

3. Love's Visible Manifestation (vv. 11-12)

1. Love's Divine Source (vv. 7-8)

1 John 4:7–8 LSB

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love

So discussed on week 1 that man is created in the image of God (Gen 1:26-27). This means that there are some qualities of God that we posses as a result of being image bearers. Reflecting the glory of God is what we were made to do or to be. And clearly God’s natural essence of being love is within that glory that we reflect. Consider the wording in

Romans 5:8 LSB

8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

We are like the moon we have no light on our own, but we reflect just like the moon in a much lesser degree the light of the sun. So we are to reflect love, but it is not our love but the love of another, namely God. Identification with Christ, with God is impossible without this very distinct quality.

This truth is so vital that John repeats the same concept over and over again. He writes about brotherly love as a sign and evidence of our walking as Christ walked in 2:7-11. Then he writes about brotherly love being the most vital aspects of righteousness in 3:10-18.

Here is the ground of love, in that profound truth, so simply and succinctly stated, “God is Love.” That means that those who are truly His children will reflect in their lives something of that love with which He has loved them. If those who know that “God is light” (1:5) are under obligation to walk in the light, those who know that “God is Love” are under obligation to walk in love. It is only the man who loves who can claim to be a child of God.

Since God is love, to be made in His image is to be created for relationships that reflect His love. And love is not merely a feeling; it is an expression of God’s nature in us. Therefore, negative emotions should not be able to overpower love, when it is God’s love. No amount of anger, disappointment, hurt, or sadness should be able to diminish our love if it is indeed the Father’s love. And we see this in all of the seasons and stations in life

In singleness - Our love is expressed in devotion to God and service to others

1 Corinthians 7:32–35 LSB

32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. 33 But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests have been divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit. But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 Now this I say for your own benefit, not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote propriety and undistracted devotion to the Lord.

In marriage - Love is covenantal, mirroring Christ and the Church

Ephesians 5:25–27 LSB

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless.

In friendships - True friendship reflects Christ Sacrificial love

John 15:13 LSB

13 “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

If we struggle to love, the issue is not first a relational problem but a spiritual issue—a lack of intimacy with God.

2. Love's Sacrificial Example (vv. 9-10)

1 John 4:9–10 LSB

9 By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

If you notice from this passage. True love gives rather takes. In the beginning of John 3:16 we read the words: God so loved… that He gave. Love’s primary aim is to give rather than take.

And, “this is love”, meaning this is real love, this is the teeth of love, this is love reduced to its common denominator, the root of it all, not that we have loved God but that he loved us. Consider:

John 15:16 LSB

16 “You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would abide, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.

Lets pull up that Scripture again:

Romans 5:8 LSB

8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

What all of these Scriptures have in common is that real love is not a reciprocation or a reaction to what we have received. (not that love should not be reciprocated) but real down to its roots biblical love is an initiator, not a reciprocator. I didn’t wait for you to chose me, I did not wait for you love me, I did not wait for you to change.

Men, you were created for this, you were wired for this. Love is not this mushy, sissyish, girlish thing. Let this mind be in you as it was in Christ Jesus brothers… you are not a reciprocator, you are the initiator just like our Lord…

Biblical love is initiatory, self-giving, and focused on the other person’s good, not self-preservation. Christ is the model for love in all relationships.

Singleness: Jesus, our perfect example, lived fully for God while remaining single.

Marriage: Christ’s love for the Church sets the standard for husbands and wives.

Friendship & Community: Biblical love is sacrificial, putting others before self.

Philippians 2:3–4 LSB

3 doing nothing from selfish ambition or vain glory, but with humility of mind regarding one another as more important than yourselves, 4 not merely looking out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Love is not about self-fulfillment. Think about the reasons people get divorces or end friendships. There is an element of “I am not happy”. The verbiage of “I am not happy” or “you do not make me happy” has been changed to “toxic relationship”. Again, not to say that some relationships are indeed toxic, but this has become the catch-all phrase to hide our own need to be number one. Just like “toxic masculinity” has become the catch phrase that now includes normal, God designed masculinity.

Love is about self-sacrifice. In marriage, singleness, and friendships, our love must reflect Christ’s example of humility and service. It is not about self-interest, attraction, or compatibility.

3. Love's Visible Manifestation (vv. 11-12)

Love proves that we have relationship with God.

1 John 4:11–12 LSB

11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has beheld God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love. Can also be rendered as “since God so loved us, which by the way is the same rendering found in John 3:16. That particle “if” or “since” together with the indicative assumes the reality of the assumption.

Nothing less than God’s love in Christ is the model for the love Christians should have towards one another.

The command to love one another cannot be divorced or isolated from the love initiated by God through Christ. Outside of that kind of love from that specific source is impossible to love biblically. (Spouse, friend, or anybody). Outside of this kind of love it is all self-seeking, self-centered, self-gratifying. Having an appearance of love but not being by definition of Love because God is love. So unless it comes from God, through God, in the ways of God, it is not love.

1 Corinthians 13:13 LSB

13 But now abide faith, hope, love—these three; but the greatest of these is love.

The world would agree with this statement but with a redefinition of love that is not in the Scriptures. There is a great difference between how people today define God’s love and how the apostle John defines it. The contemporary concept of a loving God—or a God whose very essence is love—is that he cannot and will not judge anyone for anything. “God is love” means that God is tolerant of all theological perspectives and lifestyles.

John’s definition of love, based on Christ’s command to love, is “not a simplistic call to indiscriminate tolerance and affirmation of all human expression, action, and/or ideology.” Rather, love is a characteristic that finds its ultimate explanation in Christ’s incarnation and crucifixion. Sin is the reason why he had to give his life. To turn around and give sin a pass is an affront to his majesty, His Holiness, and cheapens the most expensive price ever paid for anything under the sun. To be sure, this same John writes,

1 John 2:15 LSB

15 Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

Yet love, biblical love is the mark of true discipleship, it is what separates those who claim to be His, from those who truly are

John 13:35 LSB

35 “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Love for others is evidence that God’s work is in us. This is why John emphasizes that although no one has seen or beheld God, if we love one another we can be assured that He dwells in us and he is bringing our character into perfection.

The whole law and the entirety of the prophetic writings hang on the commitment to love according to Mat 22:37-40. So If love for one another is lacking, we must examine our heart before God, and our humility and willingness to forgive.

Singleness is not isolation but an opportunity for deep fellowship in the body of Christ (Acts 2:42-47). It is not a waiting room for marriage but a calling that allows undivided devotion to God

Marriage is not ultimate; the Church is eternal. Marriage should point to our union with Christ, but the family of God is forever (Matthew 22:30).

Friendships within the Church should be covenantal, not transactional.

As we close lets ask the question am I loving others in a way that makes God’s love visible? Do my relationships serve my own needs, or do they reflect God’s purpose?

The way we love our spouse, friends, and even enemies reveals whether we truly believe in and abide in Christ.