Questions For Interview

QUESTION 1. Pastor Al, let me start with you, and let’s start from the beginning: How did you and Debbie met each other and real quickly tell us what made you know that she was the one God had assigned for you.

Genesis 2:18 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Your marriage covenant is a sacred, three-way, unconditional promise of life-long commitment between you, your spouse, and God.

Mal 2:15 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union?

ANSWER:

1. Someone who’s saved 2. Someone with integrity(v2) 4. Someone who shows good judgment (v4a) Counsel of God’s word| Comfort H.S | Confirmation of God’s people

In His wisdom, God brings two people together to balance each other out to FILL EACH OTHERS’S GAPS They are stronger as a team than they were as individuals. They are two independent people who chose to become interdependent.

God not only made both of you, but he fashioned you in such a way that you are a fit, intended to be one.. that's marriage. It's his design, both in the parts (you as individuals) and in the whole.

When God calls you to marry, He gives you a mate who, by divine design, will complete you. Together you will be stronger and more effective than if you remain single. Most happily married couples could point to specific examples of how God has fit them together.

QUESTION 2 What were some of the things that you knew were different in terms of characteristics, disposition, behaviors, tendencies and even up-bringing (background) between both of you? Debbie – I think you should go first.

Ø Pastor Al, same question.

because she was taken out of Man.”

Ø Gen 2:22-23

22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made[a] into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman,

ANSWER: 1. Introvert vs extrovert 2. I love being around people she loved just refueling in being alone 3. She easily adopted to situations while I will get flustered.

Likewise, both of you must totally trust God and receive your mate as His provision to meet your need for companionship. Adam provided the example and illustrated the principle that we should fully trust God's provision for us in a mate.

If my fiancé is God's perfect provision for me, then receiving him or her means that I should what? Accept BOTH their strengths and weaknesses. BACKGROUND, BEHAVIOR, TENDENCIES AND UPBRINGING!

Question 3: Are there things that were different problematic for you guys in your marriage?” First of all – I should ask, “how long have you all been married?” Pause for answer. Wow 24 years, that’s amazing – congratulations to both of you. “How did the differences impact your marriage?” Pastor Al, you go first.

ANSWER

1. I wanted to deal with issues now, Debbie wanted to process.

"Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." - Ephesians 4:26. Conflict Principle: Don't go to bed angry!

• "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one other, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32

Conflict Principle: Forgive, forgive, forgive!

2. I struggle to listen…. And want to fix everything! She just wants me to listen and hear her heart.

"Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance." -Proverbs 1:5

The wise person isn't the one who know it all, but the one who is humble to learn.

The one who understands is the one who knows what he doesn't know, and so gets help!

Finding that special someone: Psalm 15

1. Someone who’s saved

Someone who knows Jesus; Someone for whom Jesus is Lord of their life. Someone who has realized that they’re a sinner and acknowledged their sin before God. Believes that Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of their sins, and rose again for the assurance of their life in heaven.

That’s the kind of person you want to marry – someone who’s saved/passionate for Jesus.

This is foundational:

Don’t rationalize it away; Don’t go into marriage unequally yoked

2 Cor 6:14-15 – Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?

2. Someone with integrity (v2)

God, who’s one of your own . . . (read v2) Ps 15: [2] He who walks blamelessly and does what is right

and speaks truth in his heart;

The quality to look for is integrity; Described 3 ways

Someone with integrity . . .

• Walks blamelessly – conducting their life and affairs above reproach. In such a way that they can’t legitimately be accused of wrongdoing. Resisting the temptations and desires of their sinful nature. Living according to God’s standards. Look for someone with that kind of integrity

3. Someone who treats others well (v3)

[3] who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend;

The positive indicators in the previous verse are contrasted with the negative ones here

If you find . . . Someone who slanders with their tongue . . .

They’re critical and destructive; They attack people instead of problems

They constantly tear people down by what they say – stay away

Because you’re next

4. Someone who shows good judgment (v4a)

[4] in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but who honors those who fear the LORD;

In other words look for someone who shows good judgment in their choice of friends. Someone who hangs with the right crowd – those who fear the Lord. And despises or has nothing to do with the wrong crowd. Look for someone who stays away from bad people and gravitates toward good ones.

5. Someone who keeps their word (v4b)

; who swears to his own hurt and does not change; Look for someone who is dependable and loyal to their family, their friends, their

employer, their church

That’s the kind of person you want to marry

That’s the kind of person who will keep their marriage vows to you

That’s the kind of person who will stick with you

6. Someone who’s compassionate (v5)

[5] who does not put out his money at interest, and does not take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things shall never be moved.

Someone who is generous with his money and possessions, not greedy and stingy. Someone who doesn’t take advantage of others, even if they could. Someone who has compassion on those who are less fortunate

God's Purposes for Marriage Proverbs 15:1-2 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.

Genesis 2:18 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Eph 5:22-24

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is But what does it mean that Christ is the "head" of the church?

He's our leader, provider, and protector

1 Corinthians 11:3

I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

But what does it mean that God is the "head" of Christ?

That there is a difference in roles (not in power or right, but function), and a difference in

authority (again, not because Jesus has no right to authority, but because of a yielded-ness on his part, and a granting on God the Father's part)

• According to these passages, who should be the model for a husband? Christ

Now, Christ being the husbands head - leader, provider, protector - what does that headship look like?

Luke 22:26-27

. . . let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.

Mark 10:45

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her . . .

• What does Christ's headship look like? Servant-leadership

It's important for a man to understand that his "headship" or leadership is to be like that of Christ's.

Otherwise, he will tend to abuse it.

So in the marriage relationship, God calls the husband to be a servant-leader. This is his core role.